Uthando lweBhombu: Iimpawu ze-10 zoThando oluPhezulu

Umxholo

• Bayakutyebisa ngezipho
• Abakwazi ukuyeka ukukuncoma
• Bakubetha ngeefowuni kunye neetekisi
• Bafuna ingqalelo yakho eyahlukileyo
• Bazama ukukuqinisekisa ukuba ungumphefumlo
• Bafuna ukuzibophelela kwaye bafuna ngoku
• Bayacaphuka xa ubeka imida
• Baswele kakhulu
• Utshutshiswa ngamandla abo
• Uziva ungalungelelananga
• Umgca wezantsi

Xa uqala ukudibana nomntu, ukutshayelwa ziinyawo zakho kungaziva kumnandi kwaye kuyonwabisa. Ukuba nomntu okuhlamba ngothando kunye nokuncoma kuyonwabisa ngokukodwa xa ukwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano olutsha.

Uthando lokuqhushumisa, nangona kunjalo, lelinye ibali. Kwenzeka xa umntu ekwongamela ngamazwi othando, iintshukumo, kunye nokuziphatha njengesixhobo sokukhohlisa.

"Ihlala isetyenziselwa ukuphumelela ukuthembela kwakho kunye nothando lwakho ukuze bakwazi ukufikelela usukelo lwabo," ucacisa uShirin Peykar, MA, umtshato onelayisensi kunye nonyango losapho.

Nanku ukukhangela kwezinye zeempawu zeklabhu zothando eziqhushumbayo. Ukuba uyaziqonda ezinye zezi, oko akuthethi ukuba iqabane lakho linetyhefu, kodwa mamela intuition yakho ukuba umntu ozama ukukukhangeleka ubonakala elunge kakhulu ukuba angayinyani.

Bayakutyebisa ngezipho

Uthando lokuqhushumisa rhoqo kubandakanya izijekulo ezingaphezulu, njengokuthumela izipho ezingafanelekanga emsebenzini wakho (uninzi lwee bouquets endaweni enye, umzekelo) okanye ukuthenga amatikiti enqwelomoya abizayo ngeholide, kwaye ungathathi u “hayi” ngempendulo.

Konke oku kunokubonakala kungenabungozi ngokwaneleyo, kodwa inqaku kukukukhohlisa ngokucinga ukuba ubatyala okuthile.

“Rhoqo, uthando lokuqhushumisa lwenziwa ngumntu othanda ukuqhushumbisa ngenjongo yokungena nokufumana ulawulo kulomntu uthandwayo yibhombu,” utshilo uThabitha Westbrook, umcebisi oqeqeshiweyo onelayisensi.

Abakwazi ukuyeka ukukuncoma

Sonke sinqwenela ukunconywa, kodwa ukunconywa rhoqo kunokwenza ukuba intloko yakho ijikeleze. Ukuba umntu uvakalisa uthando lwakhe olungapheliyo emva nje kwexesha elifutshane, kunokuba yinto ebomvu ebomvu ukuba iimvakalelo zabo aziyinyani.

Amanye amabinzana aqhelekileyo, ngaphezulu kwentloko anokuwasebenzisa abandakanya:

• Ndiyayithanda yonke into ngawe. ”
• "Andizange ndidibane nomntu ofezekileyo njengawe."
• "Nguwe kuphela umntu endifuna ukuchitha ixesha naye."

Ngokwabo, la mabinzana awanabungozi, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uwaqwalasele kumxholo omkhulu wokuziphatha komntu ngokubanzi.

Bakubetha ngeefowuni kunye neetekisi

Batsalela umnxeba, babhale umyalezo, bakuthumele umyalezo kwimidiya yoluntu 24/7. Ngelixa ukunxibelelana rhoqo kuyinto eqhelekileyo xa uqala ukuthandana, yiflegi ebomvu ukuba unxibelelwano luziva lukwicala elinye kwaye luya luba nzima.

Qaphela ukuba baqala ukuthumela imiyalezo kusasa kunye neyure nganye ngeyure.

Bafuna ingqalelo yakho eyahlukileyo

Xa ingqwalaselo yakho ingekho komnye umntu, banokuba nomsindo. Oku kunokujongeka njengokukrokra xa usefowunini kunye nabahlobo okanye ukwala ukuhamba emva kokuba uthi kufuneka ubesemsebenzini kwangoko ngosuku olulandelayo.

"Uthando lokwenene alufuni lonke ixesha kunye namandla akho kugxile kubo bodwa," kugxininisa uWestbrook. Bahlonipha ezinye izibophelelo, izimvo kunye nemida. ”

Bazama ukukuqinisekisa ukuba ungumphefumlo

Ukukuxelela ukuba baphuphe ukuba uThixo ubaxelele ukuba nina nobabini nifanele nitshate sisixhobo sobuqhetseba. Ukuba oko bathethayo kuvakala kanye kwifilimu, qaphela, amanqaku eWestbrook. "IHollywood ilungile kwezolonwabo, kodwa uthando lokwenyani kunye nobudlelwane abubonakali njengemiboniso bhanyabhanya."

Ezinye izinto abanokuzithetha:

• "Sizalelwe ukuba kunye."
• "Lixesha lokuba sidibene."
• “Undiqonda ngaphezu kwakhe nabani na.”
• "Sihlala nomphefumlo."

Bafuna ukuzibophelela kwaye bafuna ngoku

Ibhombu yothando inokukunyanzela ukuba wenze izinto ngokungxama kwaye wenze izicwangciso ezinkulu ngekamva. Baza kukhankanya izinto ezifana nomtshato okanye ukuhamba kunye xa nisazana kuphela ixesha elifutshane.

Into ekufuneka uyigcinile engqondweni, ngokwe-Westbrook, kukuba ubudlelwane bokwenyani buthatha ixesha ukukhula. “Akunakulindeleka ukuba umntu angakuthanda ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na ehlabathini kwiiveki ezi-2. Okanye iintsuku ezimbini. Okanye iiyure ezi-2. Okanye iinyanga ezimbini, ”ucacisa.

Bayacaphuka xa ubeka imida

Xa uzama ukubaxelela ukuba bathobe isantya, baya kuqhubeka nokuzama ukukusebenzisa ukuze ufumane le nto bayifunayo. Umntu onomdla ngokusemthethweni, kwelinye icala, uya kuyihlonipha iminqweno yakho kwaye abuye umva.

"Iibhombu zothando ziyacaphuka nangayiphi na imida ngokubhekisele ekufikeleleni kuwe okanye wamkela imbonakalo yabo 'yothando,' utsho uWestbrook. "Ifana netsunami yothando kwaye balindele ukuba uyamkele yonke."

Baswele kakhulu

Nokuba ungabanika ixesha elingakanani kunye nokufikelela, akubonakali ngathi konele. Kodwa zibuze: Ngaba uyabheyila kubahlobo ngenxa yokuba bengenako ukuma bodwa? Okanye ngaba uziva unyanzelekile ukuba uphendule sonke isicatshulwa kuba bakunike i-iPhone ebiza kakhulu?

Umntu othile onetyhefu uya kukwenza uzive unetyala kubo ukuze bathembele kuwe imini nobusuku.

Utshutshiswa ngamandla abo

Abaze balile ikhubalo kwaye babonakala bebaleka kuzo zonke iisilinda xa ukunye nabo. Awusoze wazi ukuba ulindele ntoni ukusuka kumzuzu omnye ukuya kolandelayo kwaye uzive unyanzelekile ukuba ubabone ngeenxa zonke.

Uthando olusemthethweni lunamahla ndinyuka alo, kodwa luyahlonipha kwaye alunankani, utsho uWestbrook. Inomonde, inobubele kwaye ithambile. ”

Uziva ungalungelelananga

Ukuba luthando lwebhombu unokuziva unxilile ekuqaleni, kodwa unokuziva ungonwabanga, ulinde esinye isihlangu ukuba siwe.

Nika ingqalelo kwezi zinto zikhathazayo, utshilo uWestbrook. "Kubalulekile ukuba ujongane ne-intuition yakho, ukuze waziswe endaweni yokuqhutywa ziindlela zothando zokuqhushumisa."

Umgca wezantsi

Ukuba ukwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano kwaye yonke into ivakalelwa ngathi yenzeka ngokukhawuleza, jonga amathumbu akho. Khumbula: Ukuwa eluthandweni kufanele kulondolozwe, ungangxami.

Ukuba ukhathazekile iqabane lakho liwelele kumhlaba onobuqhetseba, zama ukufikelela kumhlobo othenjiweyo, ilungu losapho, okanye ugqirha wezempilo onokukunceda uvavanye indlela abaziphethe ngayo.

Ungajonga kwezi zixhobo zingezantsi ukuze ufumane isikhokelo esongezelelweyo kumanyathelo alandelayo:

• Uthando luHlonipho ngumnxeba woncedo wokuthandana gadalala wesizwe onika inkxaso kwaye unikezela ngolwazi kubudlelwane obungenampilo kunye nokuziphatha.
• Olunye Uthando sisiseko esinceda ukumisa ukuphathwa gadalala kobudlelwane.

USindi Lamothe yintatheli ezizimeleyo eseGuatemala. Ubhala rhoqo malunga nongenelelo phakathi kwempilo, impilo, kunye nesayensi yokuziphatha komntu. Ubhalelwe iAtlantic, iNew York Magazine, iTeen Vogue, iQuartz, iWashington Post, nezinye ezininzi. Mfumane apha bakaocinday.com.