Ndinyamezele ukuphindaphinda okungafaniyo - kwaye ndinamandla ngenxa yabo

Umxholo

• Kodwa xa sihamba ngendlela eqhelekileyo, iintlungu zaqala ukuqhubekeka esiswini sam.
• "Amanani akho ayehla," watsho. "Oko, kudibene nentlungu yakho, kundikhathaze kakhulu."
• Phambi kokukhulelwa kwe-ectopic, ithemba lam belingagungqi. Ngaphandle kokufunyaniswa ngumhlaza kwiminyaka emithathu edlulileyo, ithemba kusapho lwam lwexesha elizayo lakhokelela phambili.
• Ke, ndiphilise njani emhlabeni kobu buhlungu? Yayiluluntu olungqongileyo olwandinika amandla okuqhubeka.
• Kancinci kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo, ndafunda ukuhlala kunye netyala kunye nethemba elidibeneyo. Emva koko, kwafika amaxesha amancinci ovuyo.
• Ndawutyhala lo mbono entlokweni yam, ndisoyika nokuvuma ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ndikhulelwe ngokwendalo.
• Uloyiko lusenokuba lusongele ithemba lam amaxesha ngamaxesha, kodwa andivumi ukunikezela. Alithandabuzeki elokuba nditshintshile. Kodwa ndiyazi ukuba ndinamandla ngayo.

Iindaba zovavanyo lwethu lokuqala lokukhulelwa oluqinisekileyo zazisazika njengoko sasiqhubela eWilmington kumtshato kamamazala wam.

Kwangoko ngentseni, besenze uvavanyo lwe-beta ukuqinisekisa. Njengokuba sasilinde umnxeba ovela kugqirha ukuba asazise ngeziphumo, konke endinokucinga ngako kukwabelana ngeendaba kunye nalo lonke usana oluceba kwangaphambili.

Ndiye ndayeka kuthomalalisa amayeza wamabele ekuthinteleni iihomoni kwiinyanga ezintandathu kanye; besonwabile ukuba yenzeke ngokukhawuleza. Ndavunyelwa iminyaka emibini kuphela ukuba ndingasebenzisi amayeza am, ke ixesha lalilelona libalulekileyo.

Sasiphupha ngokuba ngabazali kangangeminyaka. Ekugqibeleni, kwabonakala ngathi umhlaza uhleli ngasemva.

Kodwa xa sihamba ngendlela eqhelekileyo, iintlungu zaqala ukuqhubekeka esiswini sam.

Ndisokolisiwe yimicimbi yamathumbu ukusukela kwi-chemotherapy, ndiye ndayihleka ekuqaleni, ndicinga ukuba yimeko embi nje yeentlungu zegesi. Emva kwesitishi sesithathu sokuhlambela, ndibuthathaka ndakhubeka emotweni, ndingcangcazela ndibila.

Ukusukela oko kwam mastectomy kunye notyando olulandelayo, iintlungu zomzimba zibangela uxinzelelo lwam. Aba babini banxibelelene kunzima ukwahlula iintlungu zomzimba kwiimpawu zoxinzelelo.

Umyeni wam osengqiqweni, ngeli xesha, ubhalelwe iiWalgreens ezikufutshane, unqwenela ukuba amayeza akhulelwe-akhuselekileyo ukunciphisa iintlungu zam.

Ndithe ndisalindile ekhawuntareni kwakhala umnxeba wam. Ndiphendule, ndilindele ilizwi lomongikazi endimthandayo uWendy kwelinye icala. Endaweni yokuba ndadibana nelizwi likagqirha wam.

Ngokwesiqhelo umba-wenyani, ilizwi lakhe elithuleyo nelithobekileyo lathumela isilumkiso kwangoko. Ndiyazi ukuba into elandelayo izakuphula intliziyo yam.

"Amanani akho ayehla," watsho. "Oko, kudibene nentlungu yakho, kundikhathaze kakhulu."

Ndisengxingongweni, ndikhubekile ndaya emotweni, ndalungisa amagama akhe. “Zijonge ngokusondeleyo iintlungu. Ukuba iya isiba mbi, yiya kwigumbi lexakeka. ” Ngelo xesha, kwakukude kakhulu ukuba sijike sibuyele ekhaya, ke saqhubeka saya kwinto ekufanele ukuba ibeyimpelaveki yosapho eyonwabileyo.

Iiyure ezimbalwa ezilandelayo ziluhlaza. Ndikhumbula ndifika kwikhondomu, ndithe folokohlo phantsi, ndalila ziintlungu kwaye ndilinde kubuhlungu ukufika kwe-ambulensi. Kwabaninzi abasinde kumhlaza, izibhedlele kunye noogqirha banokubangela uninzi lweenkumbulo ezimbi. Kum, bahlala bengumthombo wentuthuzelo kunye nenkuselo.

Ngale mini kwakungekho mahluko. Nangona intliziyo yam yayiqhekeka kwisiqwenga sesigidi, ndandisazi ukuba ezo zonyango ze-ambulensi ziya kuwukhathalela umzimba wam, kwaye ngalo mzuzu, yayikuphela kwento enokulawulwa.

Kwiiyure ezine kamva, isigwebo: “Asikokukhulelwa okusebenzayo. Kufuneka sisebenze. ” Andihlaba la mazwi ingathi ndiqhwatyiwe ebusweni.

Ngandlela thile la magama aqulathe imvakalelo yesiphelo. Nangona iintlungu zomzimba zazilawulwa, ndandingasenakuzibetha ngoyaba iimvakalelo zam. Kwakugqityiwe. Usana alunakusindiswa. Iinyembezi zandihlaba ezidleleni xa ndandikhala ngokungalawuleki.

Phambi kokukhulelwa kwe-ectopic, ithemba lam belingagungqi. Ngaphandle kokufunyaniswa ngumhlaza kwiminyaka emithathu edlulileyo, ithemba kusapho lwam lwexesha elizayo lakhokelela phambili.

Ndandinokholo ukuba usapho lwethu luza. Ngelixa ixesha lalihamba, ndandisenethemba.

Emva kwelahleko yethu yokuqala, kodwa ithemba lam laliphanzile. Ndandinengxaki yokubona ngaphaya kwemihla ngemihla kwaye ndaziva ndingcatshwa ngumzimba wam. Kwakunzima ukubona ukuba ndiza kuqhubeka njani phakathi kwentlungu enjalo.

Ndingacelwa umngeni ngamanye amaxesha amaninzi ngentlungu ngaphambi kokuba ekugqibeleni sifike kwixesha lethu lovuyo.

Bendingazi ukuba xa ujikeleze umjelo olandelayo, ukudluliselwa kwembungu eqandusweyo ephumeleleyo bekusilindile. Ngeli xesha, ngelixesha sinexesha elincinci ukuba sivuye ngovuyo, elo themba, nalo, lahluthwa kuthi ngamagama awoyikekayo, "Akukho kubetha kwentliziyo," kwi-ultrasound yethu yeeveki ezisixhenxe.

Ukulandela ukulahleka kwethu kwesibini, yayilulwalamano lwam nomzimba wam olwasokolayo. Ingqondo yam ibinamandla ngelixesha, kodwa umzimba wam ubethile.

I-D kunye no-C yayiyinkqubo yam yesixhenxe kwiminyaka emithathu. Ndaqala ndaziva ndinqanyuliwe, ngokungathi ndihlala kwigobolondo elingenanto. Intliziyo yam yayingasaziva ukuba ndinento yokwenza nomzimba endihambele kuwo. Ndaziva ndibuthathaka kwaye ndibuthathaka, ndingakwazi ukuwuthemba umzimba wam ukuba uphinde ubuye.

Ke, ndiphilise njani emhlabeni kobu buhlungu? Yayiluluntu olungqongileyo olwandinika amandla okuqhubeka.

Abasetyhini abavela kwihlabathi liphela bandithumelele imiyalezo kwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo, besabelana ngamabali abo okuphulukana kunye neenkumbulo zeentsana ababekhe baziphatha kodwa zange babambe.

Ndiye ndaqonda ukuba nam ndingazithwala iimemori zaba bantwana ndizise ngaphambili. Uvuyo lweziphumo zovavanyo ezincumisayo, ukumiselwa kwe-ultrasound, ezo foto zintle zombungu osencinci - {textend} inkumbulo nganye ihlala nam.

Ukusuka kwabo babekufutshane nam ababehambe kule ndlela ngaphambili, ndafunda ukuba ukuqhubekeka akuthethi ukuba ndiyalibala.

Ukuziva unetyala, nangona kunjalo, bekuhlala ngasemva kwengqondo yam. Ndizabalazile ukufumana indlela yokuhlonipha iinkumbulo zam ngelixa ndiqhubeka. Abanye bakhetha ukutyala umthi, okanye babhiyozele umhla obalulekileyo. Kum, bendifuna indlela yokuqhagamshela kwakhona emzimbeni wam.

Ndithathe isigqibo sokuba itattoo yayiyeyona ndlela inentsingiselo yokubuyisela ubumbano. Yayingekuko ukulahleka endandifuna ukubambelela kuko, kodwa iinkumbulo zale mibungu imnandi yakha yakhula esibelekweni sam.

Uyilo luhlonipha wonke umzimba wam odlulileyo kunye nokubonisa amandla omzimba wam wokuphilisa kwaye kwakhona ndithwale umntwana.

Ngoku emva kwendlebe yam ezo nkumbulo zimnandi zihlala, zihlala nam njengoko ndakha ubomi obutsha obuzaliswe lithemba novuyo. Aba bantwana ndilahlekile baya kuhlala beyinxalenye yebali lam. Nabani na olahlekelwe ngumntwana, ndiqinisekile ukuba unokuzixela.

Kancinci kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo, ndafunda ukuhlala kunye netyala kunye nethemba elidibeneyo. Emva koko, kwafika amaxesha amancinci ovuyo.

Kancinci kancinci, ndaqala ukubonwabela ubomi kwakhona.

Amaxesha ovuyo aqala kancinci kwaye akhula ngokuhamba kwexesha: ukubila iintlungu kwiklasi eshushu yeyoga, ubusuku obuzolileyo kunye ne-hubby yam ibukele umboniso wethu owuthandayo, ndihleka nentombi eNew York xa ndifumana ixesha lam lokuqala emva kokuphuma kwesisu, ukopha ngeebhlukhwe zam emgceni kumdlalo we-NYFW.

Ngandlela thile bendizibonisa ukuba ngaphandle kwako konke ukuphulukana nam, bendisenguye.Andiyi kuphinda ndiphinde ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndiphinde ndiphinde ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndiphinde ndiphinde ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndiphinde ndiphinde ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndiphinde ndiphinde ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndiphinde ndizive kwakhona.

Sivule kancinci iintliziyo zethu ukuqala ukucinga ngosapho kwakhona. Olunye ugqithiso lwembungu eqanduselweyo, ukumitha umntwana wabanye abantu, ukukhulisa umntwana wabanye abantu Ndiqale ukuphanda zonke iindlela esinokukhetha kuzo.

Kwasekuqaleni kuka-Epreli, ndaqala ukuphelelwa ngumonde, ndikulungele ukuzama olunye ugqithiso lwembungu. Yonke into yayixhomeke emzimbeni wam ilungile, kwaye kwakungabonakali kusebenzisana. Yonke into yokuqeshwa iqinisekisile iihormones zam bezingekabikho kwisiseko esifunwayo.

Ukuphoxeka kunye noloyiko kwaqala ukugrogrisa ubudlelwane endabakha ngokutsha nomzimba wam, ithemba lekamva liyancipha.

Bendineentsuku ezimbini ndibona kwaye ndiqinisekile ukuba ixesha lam sele lifikile. Besingene ngeCawa ngolunye uvavanyo lwe-ultrasound kunye nokuhlolwa kwegazi. Umyeni wam waqengqeleka ngobusuku bangoLwesihlanu wathi kum, "Ndicinga ukuba kufuneka uthathe uvavanyo lokukhulelwa."

Ndawutyhala lo mbono entlokweni yam, ndisoyika nokuvuma ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ndikhulelwe ngokwendalo.

Ndandijolise kakhulu kwinyathelo elilandelayo leCawe ukuya kutshintsho lwembungu yethu eqingqiweyo, ingcinga yokukhulelwa kwendalo yayiyeyona nto iphambili engqondweni yam. Ngentsasa yangoMgqibelo, waphinda wandityhala.

Ukumcenga - {textend} ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuya kuba yinto engalunganga - {textend} Ndachama etongeni ndaya ezantsi. Xa ndibuyayo, umyeni wam wayemi apho, ephethe intonga ngogonyamelo.

"Yinyani," utshilo.

Ndaye ndacinga ukuba uyadlala. Kwavakala ngathi ayinakwenzeka, ngakumbi emva kwayo yonke into esidlule kuyo. Kwenzeka njani apha emhlabeni?

Ngandlela thile lonke elixesha bendicinga ukuba umzimba wam awusebenzisani, ibisenza kanye le nto ibimele ukuyenza. Iphilisiwe kwi-D yam no-C ngoJanuwari kunye ne-hysteroscopy elandelayo ngoFebruwari. Ngandlela thile ikwazile ukwenza usana oluhle ngokwalo.

Ngelixa oku kukhulelwa bekugcwele imiceli mngeni yayo, ngandlela thile ingqondo nomzimba wam zindithwale ndaya phambili ngethemba - {textend} ithemba lamandla omzimba wam, umoya wam, kwaye nangaphezulu kwako konke, ukuba olu sana lukhule ngaphakathi kum.

Uloyiko lusenokuba lusongele ithemba lam amaxesha ngamaxesha, kodwa andivumi ukunikezela. Alithandabuzeki elokuba nditshintshile. Kodwa ndiyazi ukuba ndinamandla ngayo.

Nokuba ujongene nantoni, yazi ukuba awuwedwa. Ngelixa ukuphulukana kwakho, ukuphelelwa lithemba, kunye nentlungu kunokubonakala ngathi akunakoyiswa ngoku, kuyakufika ixesha apho nawe, uyakufumana uvuyo kwakhona.

Ngamaxesha amabi obuhlungu kulandela utyando lwe-ectopic engxamisekileyo, andizange ndicinge ukuba ndingayenza kwelinye icala - {textend} ukuya kubumama.

Kodwa njengokuba ndinibhalela ngoku, ndiyoyika uhambo olubuhlungu endijongene nalo lokufika apha, kunye namandla ethemba njengoko endiqhubele phambili.

Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba yonke into endidlule kuyo ibindilungiselela eli xesha litsha lovuyo. Ezo lahleko, nokuba zibuhlungu kangakanani, zibumbe ukuba ndingubani namhlanje- {textend} hayi nje ngokuba ndilixhoba, kodwa njengomama oboyikisayo nozimeleyo, okulungeleyo ukuzisa ubomi obutsha kulo mhlaba.

Ukuba ndifunde nantoni na, kukuba indlela eya phambili isenokungabikho kumda wexesha lakho kwaye isenokungabi njengoko ubucwangcisile. Kodwa into entle ikulindile ujikeleze nje.

UAnna Crollman ngumthandi wesitayile, ibhlog yakhe yokuphila, kunye nomhlaza webele. Wabelana ngebali lakhe kunye nomyalezo wokuzithanda kunye nokuba sempilweni ngebhlog yakhe nakwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo, ekhuthaza abantu basetyhini kwihlabathi liphela ukuba baphumelele xa bejamelene nobunzima ngamandla, ukuzithemba kunye nesitayile.