Xa umzali wakho eyi-Anorexic: Izinto ezi-7 endinqwenela ukuba umntu othile andixelele zona

Umxholo

• 1. Kulungile ukuziva ungenakunceda
• 2. Kulungile ukuziva umsindo kunye nokukhathazeka - okanye akukho nto konke konke
• 3. Kulungile ukuqonda kwaye ungaqondi ngaxeshanye
• 4. Kulungile ukuyibiza ngegama, nokuba woyika kuya kumtyhalela kude umzali
• 5. Kulungile ukuzama nantoni na - nokuba ezinye zezinto ozizama zizokugqibela 'zisilele'
• 6. Kulungile ukuba ulwalamano lwakho nokutya okanye umzimba wakho ungcolile, nawo
• 7. Ayilotyala lakho

Ndilinde ubomi bam bonke ukuba umntu athethe loo nto kum, ke ndiyitsho kuwe.

Ndiyazi ukuba ndiye ndaGoogled "inkxaso yomntwana womzali ongadliyo" izihlandlo ezingenakubalwa. Kwaye, hamba uye kufumanisa, iziphumo kuphela kubazali babantwana abangena-anorexic.

Kwaye uqonde ukuba ngokuyintloko uwedwa, njengesiqhelo? Inokukwenza uzive ufana "nomzali" osele uziva unguye.

(Ukuba nguwe lo, ngenxa yothando lukaThixo, Ndithumele imeyile. Ndicinga ukuba kuninzi esinokuthetha ngako.)

Ukuba akukho mntu uthathe ixesha lokucothisa kwaye aqinisekise amava akho, mandibe ngowokuqala. Nazi izinto ezisixhenxe endifuna wazi-izinto ezisixhenxe endinqwenela ukuba umntu andixelele zona.

1. Kulungile ukuziva ungenakunceda

Kulungile ngakumbi ukuba umzali wakho uyaphika ngokupheleleyo malunga neanorexia yabo. Kunoyikisa ukubona into ngokucacileyo kodwa ungabinakho ukwenza ukuba umntu azibonele ngokwakhe. Ewe uziva ungenakuzinceda.

Kwinqanaba elisisiseko, umzali kufuneka avume ngokuzithandela ukuba enze amanyathelo okuphilisa (ngaphandle kokuba, njengoko kwenzekile kum, bazibophelele ngokungazibandakanyi- kwaye lelo lelinye inqanaba labangenakuzinceda). Ukuba abayi kuthatha kwinyathelo losana, unokuziva unamathele ngokupheleleyo.

Ungazifumana udala izicwangciso zokutshintsha ubisi kwi-Starbucks (ziya kuba kuwe) okanye ufefe ioyile ye-CBD kwisoda yokutya (Kulungile, andazi ukuba izakusebenza njani, kodwa ndichithe iiyure ezininzi yobomi bam ndicinga ngayo. Ngaba inganyuka ibe ngumphunga?

Kwaye ngenxa yokuba abantu bangathethi ngenkxaso yabantwana babazali abangadliyo, kunokuba bodwa. Akukho mephu yendlela yoku, kwaye luhlobo olukhethekileyo lwesihogo bambalwa kakhulu abantu abanokuyiqonda.

Iimvakalelo zakho zisemthethweni. Nam ndikhe ndakhona.

2. Kulungile ukuziva umsindo kunye nokukhathazeka - okanye akukho nto konke konke

Nangona kunzima ukuziva unomsindo kumzali, kwaye nokuba uyazi ukuba yi-anorexia iyathetha, kwaye nokuba bayakucenga ukuba ungabinangqondo kubo, ewe kulungile ukuba uzive uziva njani.

Unomsindo kuba usoyika, kwaye uyadana ngamanye amaxesha kuba uyakhathala. Ezo ziimvakalelo zabantu kakhulu.

Usenokuziva uphelelwe ngamandla ngenxa yolwalamano lomzali nomntwana. Andizange ndizive ndinomzali iminyaka. Ukungabikho kwalonto kuye kwaba yinto "eqhelekileyo" kum.

Ukuba ubundindisholo yindlela olwa ngayo, nceda wazi ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngawe. Yile ndlela usinda ngayo ngokungabikho kokondla obukufuna. Ndiyayiqonda loo nto, nokuba abanye abantu abayenzi loo nto.

Ndizama nje ukuzikhumbuza ukuba umntu one-anorexia, ingqondo yakhe ibhajwe kukugxila okufana nelaser kukutya (kunye nolawulo lwako). Ngamaxesha athile, ngumbono ochitha yonke itonela, ngokungathi ukutya yeyona nto ibalulekileyo.

(Ngale ndlela, kunokuvakala ngathi awunamsebenzi, okanye ukutya ngandlel 'ithile kubaluleke kakhulu kubo. Kodwa ubalulekile, ndiyathembisa.)

Ndiyathanda ukuba ndibe ne-phaser. Mhlawumbi benza njalo, nabo.

3. Kulungile ukuqonda kwaye ungaqondi ngaxeshanye

Ndinamava okusebenza kwihlabathi lempilo yengqondo. Kodwa akukho nto indilungiselele ukuba nomzali oneanorexia.

Nditsho nokwazi ukuba ianorexia sisigulo sengqondo - kwaye nokuba unakho ukucacisa kakuhle ukuba ianorexia ilawula njani indlela yokucinga yomzali - oko akukwenzi kube lula ukuqonda amabinzana anje ngokuba "Andityebanga" okanye "nditya iswekile kuphela -Ikhululekile kwaye ayinamafutha kuba yile nto ndiyithandayo. ”

Inyani yile, ngakumbi ukuba umzali une-anorexia ixesha elide, isithintelo sonakalise umzimba nengqondo yabo.

Ayizizo zonke izinto eziza kwenza ingqiqo xa umntu enyamezeleke ukwenzakala okunje-kubo okanye kuwe-kwaye awunabo uxanduva lokubeka zonke iziqwenga kwakhona.

4. Kulungile ukuyibiza ngegama, nokuba woyika kuya kumtyhalela kude umzali

Emva kwamashumi eminyaka yokuphepha nokwala - kwaye emva koko ukufihla okulandelayo "oku kuphakathi kwethu" kwaye "kuyimfihlo yethu," ngequbuliso wena Ukuba nomsindo kubantu abavakalisa inkxalabo- ekugqibeleni ukuyithetha ngokuvakalayo inokuba yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokuphola kwakho.

Uvumelekile ukuyinika igama: ianorexia.

Uvumelekile ukuba wabelane ngendlela iimpawu ezingenakuphikwa ngayo kwaye ezibonakalayo, ukuba inkcazo ishiya ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, kwaye uziva njani ukuba uyibonile le nto. Unokunyaniseka. Ukuze uphiliswe, kungafuneka ubenjalo.

Ukwenza njalo kundigcinile ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye kwandivumela ukuba ndingoyena mncinci ucace kunxibelelwano. Kulula kakhulu ukuba kubhalwe kunokuba kuthethwe, kodwa ndiyinqwenela bonke abantwana babazali abangadlanga.

5. Kulungile ukuzama nantoni na - nokuba ezinye zezinto ozizama zizokugqibela 'zisilele'

Kulungile ukucebisa izinto ezingaphumeleli.

Awuyongcali, nto leyo ethetha ukuba uza kumosha ngamanye amaxesha. Ndizamile imiyalelo, kwaye banokubuyela umva. Ndizamile ukukhala, kwaye loo nto inokubuyisa umva, nayo. Ndizamile ukucebisa ngezixhobo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuyasebenza, ngamanye amaxesha ayisebenzi.

Kodwa andikaze ndizisole ngokuzama nantoni na.

Ukuba ungumntu onomzali onokuthi ngammangaliso amkele izicelo zakho ezingxamisekileyo zokuba bazikhathalele, bazondle, njl. Kulungile ukuzama oko ukuba nje unamandla kunye ne-bandwidth.

Banokuphulaphula ngenye imini kwaye bawahoye amazwi akho ngosuku olulandelayo. Kunokuba nzima ukubamba. Kufuneka uthathe usuku olunye ngexesha.

6. Kulungile ukuba ulwalamano lwakho nokutya okanye umzimba wakho ungcolile, nawo

Ukuba unomzali ongadli ngotywala kwaye unobudlelwane obunempilo nomzimba wakho, ukutya, okanye ubunzima, uyi-unicorn ye-goddamn kwaye kuya kufuneka ubhale incwadi okanye enye into.

Kodwa ndicinga ukuba sonke abantwana babazali abanengxaki yokutya sisokola ukuya kwinqanaba elithile. Awunako ukusondela (kwakhona, ngaphandle kokuba i-unicorn) kwaye ungachaphazeleki.

Ukuba andifumananga iqela lezemidlalo apho izidlo zeqela elikhulu ziyinxalenye enkulu yokubopha, andazi ukuba ngendiphelelaphi kolu hambo. Olo yayilubabalo lwam lokusindisa. Unokuba unayo okanye awunayo.

Kodwa yazi nje ukuba abanye bakhona bayasokola nabo, bazabalazela ukungasokoli, kwaye bayithande imizimba yethu kunye nathi kunye nabazali bethu, nathi.

Okwangoku, ukuba ufuna ukuba ngandlel 'ithile umthetho womlilo nawo onke amaphephancwadi "abasetyhini" ngokuthe ngqo embindini wendlela ekhuselekileyo. Ndiphantsi.

7. Ayilotyala lakho

Le yeyona inzima ukuyamkela. Kungenxa yoko le nto yeyokugqibela kolu luhlu.

Kuba nzima ngakumbi xa umzali eneanorexia ixesha elide. Ukungonwabi kwabantu ngexesha kubakhokelela ekubeni basole umntu osondeleyo. Kwaye ucinga ukuba yintoni, nguwe lowo.

Ukuxhomekeka komzali wakho kuwe nako kungazibonakalisa njengoxanduva, eliguqulela kulwimi lokuba netyala ukuba "yimpazamo yakho." Umzali wakho angade athethe ngqo nawe ngokungathi ngumntu omele ukuziva enoxanduva lokuchaphazela utshintsho, njengogqirha, umnakekeli, okanye umphathi (eyokugqibela yayo yenzekile kum; ndithembe, ayisosifaniso osifunayo).

Kwaye kunzima ukungazamkeli ezo ndima. Abantu banokukuxelela ukuba ungazibeki kuloo ndawo, kodwa abo bantu abakhange bajonge umntu omdala omde oyi-60 ngaphambili. Kodwa khumbula nje ukuba nangona ubekwe kweso sikhundla, oko akuthethi ukuba ekugqibeleni uxanduva lwakho okanye ukhetho abalwenzayo.

Ke, ndiyatsho kwakhona kum ngasemva: Ayilotyala lakho.

Akukho mntu unokususa ingxaki yokutya yomntu, nokuba sifuna kangakanani. Kuya kufuneka bakulungele ukuyinika-kwaye olo luhambo lwabo lokuthatha, hayi olakho. Konke onokukwenza ukubakhona, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuninzi kakhulu.

Wenza konke okusemandleni akho, kwaye uyazi ntoni? Yiyo yonke into umntu anokuyicela kuwe.

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