Iincoko Omele Ube Nazo Phambi Kokuba Ndenze ’

Umxholo

• Incoko "yoBomi beNtlalo"
• Inqaku elithi "Siza Kuphelela Phi?" Incoko
• Incoko "yaBantwana"
• Uphengululo lwe

Kwenzeke ngokukhawuleza. Izolo ubuchitha iitekisi zakhe nabahlobo bakho kwaye nibhenela usuku lwesithathu, kwaye namhlanje nobabini nihlala kwigumbi elinye. Nobabini niyayazi apho nisingise khona-yaye!-kwaye ukuba akakaceli celomngeni, niqinisekile ukuba uya kukwenza kungekudala.

Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uthabatheke, lixesha lokuba nixoxe ngezinto ezimbalwa ezazibonakala zingafanelekanga ukuzenza xa wawuthandana. Ngoba? “Usenokucinga ukuba ukwiphepha elinye, okanye uya kukwazi ukuzilungisa ezi zinto, kodwa loo ngcinga ikhokelele kwimitshato emininzi engonwabanga,” uyalumkisa uKaren Sherman, Ph.D. ubudlelwane beengqondo kunye nombhali Umtshato womlingo! Yifumane, Yigcine, kwaye uyenze ukuba ibeYokugqibela.

Ngoko musa ukuyibekela ecaleni ngolunye usuku: Yiba nezi ncoko zintathu ngoku ukuqinisekisa ukonwaba ngonaphakade kamva.

Incoko "yoBomi beNtlalo"

Ingcinga

Ukuba ulibhabhathane ekuhlaleni kwaye ungumntu ongaphezulu ekhaya-okanye konke malunga nokuphila ubomi bomsebenzi ngelixa usebenza nzima-sineendaba ezimbi: Ungalindeli ukuba nayiphi na loo nto itshintshe ngenxa nje yokuba utsaliwe , ngokuka Sherman. "Ndiyathetha nezibini ezininzi ezazicinga ukuba enye okanye enye ziya kuhlala phantsi ekuhlaleni, okanye zilungelelanise imikhwa yakhe emva komtshato. Kodwa oko kuhlala kungenzeki," uyachaza. Sukuba nexhala- isisombululo: Konke malunga nokulalanisa.

Khawukhumbule nje: "Kufuneka sithethe" ngamagama amane la madoda athiye kakhulu, utshilo uSherman. Ngoko-ke, yeqa nayiphi na into yokuqala kwaye umcele nje ukuba abone umsebenzi wakhe okanye ishedyuli yentlalo iguquka xa utshatile. Ukuba le nto akuxelela yona ayingqinelani-nento oyifunayo, mhlawumbi uya kuvuma ukuphuma ubusuku obunye kuphela ngeveki, okanye uza kuthembisa ukuyeka ukusebenza ngeempelaveki. Nobabini kufuneka nizimisele ukwenza izibonelelo, utshilo uSherman.

Inqaku elithi "Siza Kuphelela Phi?" Incoko

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Ke uye wafudukela kwisixeko esitsha ukuze usebenze kwaye emva koko wadibana noMnu Wonderful. Ngexesha elithile, uya kujongana nesigqibo: Hlala, ushiye, okanye uhambe uye kwi-burbs, utshilo uSherman. Ngaphambi kokuba umbuze ukuba ubona ntoni, kufuneka uyazi ukuba yintoni wena ndifuna. Okokuqala, zibuze, "Ndifuna ukuhlala phi iminyaka emi-5 okanye eyi-10 ukususela ngoku, kwaye kubaluleke kangakanani oko kum?" Sherman uyacebisa. Kwaye ukuba ufuna ukuba kufutshane nosapho lwakho-okanye ucinga ukuba angafuna ukuba athethe njalo! Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba uhlala eNew York-kwaye ukhulele eBrooklyn ngelixa wayekhuliswe eMidwest-ungaziva "usekhaya" ngelixa eneembono ezahlukileyo malunga nokuba uza kuba kwi-30 kunye ne-40s yakho, utshilo uSherman .

Incoko "yaBantwana"

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Kukho izihloko ezibaluleke kakhulu ukuba zingadanisa, utshilo uSherman. Le yenye yazo. Kwaye ukuba iincoko zakho ngabantwana azihambanga ngaphezulu kwesivumelwano sokuba nobabini nifuna abantwana ngenye imini kungekudala, oko akonelanga. Ngapha koko, ukuba uyazi ukuba zingaphi na ozifunayo, kwaye ufuna ukuqala ukuzama kwakamsinyane, ezo nkcukacha zinokuba ngameva amakhulu kumtshato wakho omncinci ukuba awuboni ngasonye, ​​utshilo uSherman. Ngelixa enokubonakala ngathi akanamdla, kulungile-kwaye kunemveliso-ukuxoxa ngokuthe ngqo, uxinzelelo lukaSherman. Ungalibali ukuxoxa ngendlela oya kubakhulisa ngayo abantwana bakho-izinto ezinjengeendlela zokuziphatha, izikolo, okanye inkolo zibalulekile. Ngaphambi kokuba ubuze, jonga usapho kunye nokukhuliswa-bobabini banikezela umbono olungileyo wento anokuyifuna (okanye ayifuni!), USherman ucebisa.

Uphengululo lwe