Iindlela ezi-5 zokuNceda uMntu oneXhala loLuntu

Umxholo

• “Ufuna ukuzidibanisa!”
• “Musa ukuba sisidenge. Wonke umntu uxakeke zizinto zakhe ukuzinika ingqalelo. ”
• Kutheni uzixhalabisa nje? ”
• 1. Sebenza ngeemvakalelo zabo
• Gxila kwiimvakalelo zabo
• 3. Sebenzisa iindlela zokuphazamisa
• 4. Yiba nomonde
• 5. Kwaye okokugqibela, hleka!

Kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, emva kobusuku oburhabaxa ngokukodwa, umama wandijonga ngeenyembezi emehlweni akhe wathi, “Andazi ukuba ndingakunceda ngantoni. Ndihlala ndithetha into engeyiyo. ”

Ndiyayiqonda intlungu yakhe. Ukuba bendingumzali kwaye umntwana wam ehlupheka, bendizokulangazelela ukunceda.

Enye yeengxaki ezinkulu malunga nokugula ngengqondo kukungabikho kwesikhokelo. Ngokungafaniyo nemeko yomzimba, njengengxaki yesisu okanye ithambo elaphukileyo, akukho miyalelo icacileyo yokufumana kwakhona. Oogqirha banokwenza iingcebiso kuphela.Ayilulo kanye uhlobo lwento ofuna ukuyiva xa uphelelwe lithemba (ndithembe).

Kwaye ke, uxanduva lokhathalelo ikakhulu luseyona ikufutshane nakoyena uthandwa kakhulu.

Kule minyaka idlulileyo, ndiye ndanamava amabi nabahlobo kunye nabalingane ababezama ukundinceda kodwa bathetha izinto ezingalunganga. Ngelo xesha, ndandingazi ukuba ndibacebise ngenye indlela. Ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle ngokuqinisekileyo akuzi nencwadi yesikhokelo!

Ezi zezinye zezinto endizithandayo.

“Ufuna ukuzidibanisa!”

Umntu endisebenza naye wayethetha oku kum xa endifumana ndilila kwizindlu zangasese zabasebenzi kumsitho othile. Wayecinga ukuba uthando olunzima luyakundinceda ndiphume kulo. Nangona kunjalo, ayikuncedanga kuphela, indenze ndaziva ndineentloni kwaye ndavezwa. Iqinisekisile ukuba ndiyinto engaqhelekanga kwaye ke kufuneka ndiyifihle imeko yam.

Xa ujongene noxinzelelo, impendulo yendalo evela kubabukeli ibonakala ngathi ikhuthaza loo mntu ukuba azole. Okumangalisayo kukuba, oku kuyenza mandundu. Umntu ogulayo unqwenela ukuzola, kodwa akakwazi ukwenza njalo.

“Musa ukuba sisidenge. Wonke umntu uxakeke zizinto zakhe ukuzinika ingqalelo. ”

Umhlobo wayecinga ukuba ukubonisa oku kuya kunceda iingcinga zam ezingenangqondo. Ngelishwa akunjalo. Ngelo xesha, ndandinexhala lokuba wonke umntu okwelo gumbi wayendigweba kakubi. Uxinzelelo kwezentlalo sisifo esidlayo. Ke ngelixesha inzulu ndiyazi ukuba abantu abajolisanga kum, ayikayeki iingcinga ezihlekisayo.

Kutheni uzixhalabisa nje? ”

Lo ngowona mbuzo ubukhali, nanini na. Kodwa wonke umntu osondele kum ubuze ubuncinci kube kanye kule minyaka idlulileyo. Ukuba bendisazi ukuba kutheni ndiziva ndikhathazekile, ngokuqinisekileyo bendizokwazi ukufumana isisombululo segazi! Ukubuza ukuba kutheni kubalaselisa kuphela ukuba andazi nto. Okwangoku, andibagxeki. Kungokwemvelo ukuba abantu babuze imibuzo kwaye bazame ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni ingxaki. Sithanda ukusombulula izinto.

Xa umhlobo wakho enengxaki yokuxhalaba, musa ukusebenzisa izimvo ezinje ngezi. Nazi iindlela ezintlanu onokubanceda ngazo:

1. Sebenza ngeemvakalelo zabo

Into ephambili ekufuneka uyikhumbule kukuba uxinzelelo ayisiyiyo ingxaki yokuqiqa. Ke ngoko, impendulo enengqondo ayinakunceda, ngakumbi ngexesha lomzuzu woxinzelelo. Endaweni yoko, zama ukusebenza neemvakalelo. Yamkela ukuba baziva bexhalabile kwaye, kunokuba ungqale ngqo, yiba nomonde nobubele. Bakhumbuze ukuba lo gama benokuziva bekhathazekile, iimvakalelo ziyakudlula.

Sebenza ngeengcinga ezingenangqondo kwaye uvume ukuba umntu ukhathazekile. Umzekelo, zama into efana nale: "Ndiyasiqonda isizathu sokuba uzive unje, kodwa ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba luxinzelelo lwakho kuphela. Asiyonyani. "

Gxila kwiimvakalelo zabo

Sukubuza ukuba kutheni umntu eziva enexhala. Endaweni yoko, babuze ukuba baziva njani. Bakhuthaze ukuba badwelise iimpawu zabo. Nika umntu ogulayo ithuba lokuziva ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa. Ukuba bayalila, mabakhale. Iya kukhulula uxinzelelo ngokukhawuleza.

3. Sebenzisa iindlela zokuphazamisa

Mhlawumbi cebisa ukuthatha uhambo, ufunde incwadi, okanye udlale umdlalo. Xa ndinexhala elibi, abahlobo bam kwaye sihlala sidlala imidlalo yamagama njengoMhlola okanye uMdlalo weAlfabhethi. Oku kuyakuphazamisa ingqondo exhalabileyo kwaye kumenze umntu ukuba azole ngokwendalo. Kumnandi nakumntu wonke.

4. Yiba nomonde

Umonde yinto elungileyo xa kufikwa kuxinzelelo. Zama ukungacaphuki msinya okanye ukhawuleze ubhekise emntwini. Lindela elona candelo libi lokuhlaselwa ngaphambi kokuba uthathe inyathelo okanye ukuzama ukunceda umntu ukuba alungelelanise okwenzekayo.

5. Kwaye okokugqibela, hleka!

Ukuhleka kubulala uxinzelelo njengamanzi abulala umlilo. Abahlobo bam balungile xa bendenza ndigigitheke xa ndibandezelekile. Umzekelo, ukuba ndithi "Ndiva ngathi wonke umntu undijongile," baya kuphendula ngento enje, "Bona. Kuya kufuneka bacinge ukuba uyiMadonna okanye enye into. Kufuneka ucule, sizenzele imali! ”

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo? Ixhala ayisiyonto ilula ukujongana nayo, kodwa ngomonde, uthando, kunye nokuqonda, zininzi iindlela zokunceda.

UClaire Eastham yibhlog kunye nombhali othengisa kakhulu "Sonke Siphambene Apha." Unokunxibelelana naye kwi ibhlog yakhe okanye umthumele nge-tweet @ClaireyLove.