Ulixhasa njani iqabane lakho kwiNgxaki, uKim noKhanne

Umxholo

• Yiba luhlobo olufanelekileyo lomphulaphuli.
• Musa ukucinga ukuba badinga indawo.
• Zinyamekele nawe.
• Uphengululo lwe

Ngaphandle kokuba uyekile ukuvela kuwo onke amajelo eendaba kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo (unethamsanqa!), Usenokuba uvile ukuba Kanye West walaliswa esibhedlele ngenxa yokudinwa kwiveki ephelileyo emva kokurhoxisa intsalela yakhe Ingcwele Pablo ukhenketho. Ngelixa singazazi iinkcukacha ezithe ngqo zento eyenzekileyo-noosaziwayo bafanelwe kukuba nemfihlo xa kufikwa kwimpilo yabo-Ngeveki uxela ukuba iNtshona isesesibhedlele ngaphandle komhla wokukhutshwa oqinisekisiweyo.

Umfazi kaKyan uKim Kardashian ebesecaleni kwakhe ngalo lonke ixesha, ngokutsho komthombo othethe nephephancwadi. Nokuba ungumntu othanda usapho lakwaKardashian okanye akunjalo, ayinakuphikwa into yokuba uKim wenze konke okusemandleni akhe ukunceda uKyan afumane ukuphumla nokhathalelo aludingayo. "UKim ngekhe ashiye icala lakhe ngaphandle kokubona abantwana," utshilo umthombo kudliwanondlebe. "Ebesoloko esesibhedlele ngalo lonke ixesha. UKim ebemjonge kakhulu kwaye engavumeli abantu ukuba bamphazamise. Zonke iintlobo zabantu ziye zatsalela umnxeba zaza zathumela iintyatyambo, kodwa unonophele kakhulu ngokungamvumeli ukuba afumane inxeba kwaye Ukuqinisekisa ukuba uyaphumla kwaye uyachacha. " Ngokuqinisekileyo kuvakala ngathi usezandleni ezilungileyo. (Apha, uKim uvula malunga nomzabalazo wakhe wokugqibela noxinzelelo.)

Ke ukuba iqabane lakho likhe ladlula kwinto enje, nokuba bonakele, badiniwe, okanye badlula nje ixesha elinzima ngokubanzi, ungamxhasa njani? Sibe neengcali ezintathu ezivavanya malunga nokuba unokuba khona njani kwi-SO yakho. ngendlela enovelwano nesebenzayo.

Yiba luhlobo olufanelekileyo lomphulaphuli.

Ukuva into ethethwa liqabane lakho kubalulekile, kodwa qiniseka ukuba umamele ibonisa ibalulekile, utsho uErika Martinez, Psy.D., isazi ngengqondo esinelayisensi eMiami. Yintoni ukuphulaphula okucingisisiweyo, uyabuza? Ngokusisiseko, njengoko umamele into ethethwa liqabane lakho, kuya kufuneka uphendule ngokuchaza into abakuxelele yona njengoko uyiqonda, ukubonisa ukuba uyayiqonda indlela abavakalelwa ngayo nabaya kuyo. Ngelishwa, abantu abaninzi bayazikhusela xa bemamela kwaye bethatha izinto ekuthethwa ngazo njengokuhlaselwa ngabantu, utshilo uMartinez. "Ukuze oku kusebenze, umphulaphuli kufuneka ahlole i-ego yabo emnyango." Kuqwalaselwe ngokufanelekileyo.

Kukwaluncedo ukubuza iqabane lakho kanye le nto bayifunayo kuwe ngalo mzuzu. "Buza ukuba unganceda njani ukunciphisa uxinzelelo. Ngaba ikhona into onokuyenza okanye uyenze ukwenza izinto zibengcono / zilula / zizolile kubo?" ucebisa uMartinez. Ikwangumbono olungileyo ukucela imvume phambi kokuba unike ingxelo okanye iingcebiso malunga nokuba wenze ntoni na ngokulandelayo, utshilo. "Emva kokumamela, abanye abantu bangena ngezisombululo. Endaweni yokuzama into enje," Ndingasenza isigqibo? "Okanye" Ungaluthanda uluvo lwam okanye ubufuneka ukhuphe? '"Ukongeza, licebo elihle ukunqanda amagama kwaye amabinzana afana no"'kufuneka," "nje," kunye "nekufuneka," kuba aphethe ithoni ephantsi yesigwebo-nokuba ayiyonjongo yakho leyo.

Musa ukucinga ukuba badinga indawo.

Baninzi abantu ngokwemvelo ukuba bathathe inyathelo emva xa besazi ukuba omnye umntu wenzakele ukuze abanike "indawo." Kodwa ngokuka-Anita Chlipala, umtshato onelayisenisi kunye nonyango losapho kunye nomnini we-Relationship Reality 312, ayisoloko iyindlela efanelekileyo yokusebenza."Ukuba ubanika indawo ngaphandle kokuba bayicele, ungababeka emngciphekweni wokukujonga njengokubalahla ngexesha labo lokudinga." Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngekhe uyazi ukuba yintoni i-S.O yakho. ufuna ngokwenene okanye ufuna de uthethe ngayo. "Zonke izibini zahlukile kwaye okubalulekileyo kuko okusebenzayo kubo bobabini amaqabane," uyongeza. "Xa kuvela ingxaki, ngamanye amaxesha izakuba lilingo kunye nephutha ukuzama ukuqonda ukuba yintoni esebenzayo esi sibini. Into ebalulekileyo kukugcina incoko evulekileyo ukuze nobabini nibe bhetyebhetye." (I-FYI, ezi ziHlolo zoBudlelwane ezi-8 zonke izibini ezimele zibe nazo kuBomi bothando obuphilileyo.)

Zinyamekele nawe.

Kulula ukulibala malunga neemfuno zakho xa ukhathazekile ngomntu omthandayo, kodwa akufuneki ungakukhathaleli ukuzihoya kwakho kwezi ntlobo zeemeko. "Kufuneka uthathe eyongezelelweyo uzikhathalele xa unceda umntu ngexesha lobunzima, utshilo u-Audrey Hope, ingcali kwezolwalamano nabantu abadumileyo kunye nomcebisi ngeziyobisi. ukwenza izinto ezimbalwa ezilula ukuzigcina uziva ulawula ngexesha lobunzima: Thatha ixesha lokuhlamba kwaye utshintshe iimpahla zakho, ufumane umoya omtsha kunye nokukhanya kwelanga rhoqo, kwaye uthathe ikhefu elifutshane kwicala leqabane lakho ukuze utye kwaye uhambe-hamba. Izinto ezincinci zingenza umohluko omkhulu.

Uphengululo lwe