UJames Van Der Beek Wabelana Ngesizathu Sokuba Sidinga Elinye Igama elithi "Ukuphuphuma Kwesisu" Kwisithuba Esinamandla
Umxholo
Ekuqaleni kweli hlobo, uJames Van Der Beek nenkosikazi yakhe, uKimberly, bamkele umntwana wabo wesihlanu emhlabeni. Esi sibini siye saya kumaqonga onxibelelwano amaxesha amaninzi ukusukela oko sabelana ngochulumanco lwaso. Kutshanje, nangona kunjalo, uVan Der Beek wabelane ngecala lebali labo ekungekho mntu walivayo ngaphambili-ilahleko enkulu kunye nosizi.
Kwisithuba esibuhlungu, utata omtsha watyhila ukuba ngaphambi kokuba bamkele intombi yabo, uGwendolyn, esi sibini sasilwa nentlungu yokukhulelwa-kungekho kanye, kodwa amaxesha amaninzi. Wayefuna ukuthatha umzuzwana ukuba abelane ngomyalezo nabo banamava entlungu efanayo, ebazisa ukuba ababodwa.
"Sifuna ukuthetha into okanye ezimbini malunga nokuphuphuma kwesisu ... esinezinto ezintathu kule minyaka idlulileyo (kubandakanya kanye phambi kobu buhle buncinci)," umlingisi wabhala ecaleni kwefoto yakhe kunye nenkosikazi yakhe nosana lwabo olusandul 'ukuzalwa. (Related: Nantsi Kanye Into Eyenzekileyo Xa Ndiphunyelwa sisisu)
"Okokuqala-sifuna igama elitsha kuyo," uqhubeke. "Ukuhamba ngenqwelomoya, 'ngendlela efihlakeleyo, kuphakamisa isiphoso kumama-ngokungathi ulahle into, okanye wasilela' ukuphatha. ' Ukusuka kwinto endiyifundileyo, kuzo zonke kodwa ezona zinto zicace gca, iimeko ezigabadeleyo, azinanto yakwenza nento eyenziwe ngumama okanye akayenzanga. Masisule ityala lonke phambi kokuba siqale. (Idibeneyo: Ndifunde njani ukuthemba umzimba wam kwakhona emva kokutshata)
Okulusizi kukuba, la mava abuhlungu ayinqabile: "Malunga neepesenti ezingama-20-25 zokukhulelwa okwaziwayo kwezonyango kubangela ilahleko," uZev Williams MD, oyintloko kwicandelo le-endocrinology yokuzala kunye nokungachumi kunye nonjingalwazi onxulumene nokubelekisa kunye ne-gynecology e-Columbia University Medical Centre uxela Ubume. "Amaninzi amatyala okuphulukana nokukhulelwa ngenxa yengxaki ye-chromosomal kwimveku engekazalwa, ekhokelela ekubeni ibe nee-chromosomes ezininzi kakhulu okanye ezimbalwa. Kodwa, izinto ezininzi kufuneka zihambe kakuhle ukuze ukukhulelwa kuphumelele kwaye ingxaki ngayo nayiphi na kuzo inokubangela ilahleko. "
Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa abafazi bahlala beziva bebuhlungu kakhulu emva kokulahleka kokukhulelwa, kunye nexesha lokuzila elihlala lihlala unyaka, iingxelo Bazali. UGqr. Williams uthi: “Uninzi lwamabhinqa nezibini ezitshatileyo luziva lunetyala yaye luzibek’ ityala emva kokukhulelwa. "Ukusebenzisa igama elithi "ukuphuphuma kwesisu" akuncedi, kwaye kunokuba negalelo kule mvakalelo ngokubonisa ukuba ukukhulelwa kwaphuhliswa. Ndikhetha kakhulu igama elithi "ilahleko yokukhulelwa" ngenxa yokuba ilahleko ngokwenene kwaye akukho ukwabiwa kwetyala.
Njengoko uVan Der Beek esitsho kwisithuba sakhe, intlungu "iya kukukrazula njengenye into."
"Kubuhlungu kwaye kubuhlungu entliziyweni kumanqanaba anzulu kunokuba ubukhe wakubona," ucacisile.
Kungenxa yoko le nto, ngokuthetha ngalo mbandela, enethemba lokwazisa malunga nenyani yokuba ukulahleka kokukhulelwa ayilotyala lomntu, kwaye izinto ziyangcono ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ubhale wathi, "ke sukuyigweba intlungu yakho, okanye uzame ukulungelelanisa indlela yakho," ubhale watsho. "Mayihambe kumaza eza kuwo, kwaye ivumele indawo yayo efanelekileyo. Kwaye emva koko, wakube ukwazi, zama ukubona ubuhle ngendlela ozibeke ngayo kwakhona ngokwahlukileyo kunangaphambili." (Idibeneyo: UShawn Johnson Uvula malunga nokuTshata kwakhe kwiVidiyo yeemvakalelo)
Mhlawumbi yeyona nto inkulu ithatha umyalezo kaVan Der Beek: Ubuhle kunye novuyo zisenokufumaneka kwinkqubo yokuphilisa.
“Olunye utshintsho silwenza ngokukhawuleza, olunye silwenza ngenxa yokuba indalo isophule, kodwa nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, olo tshintsho lunokuba zizipho,” ubhale watsho. "Izibini ezininzi zisondelelana ngakumbi kunanini na ngaphambili. Abazali abaninzi baqonda umnqweno onzulu womntwana kunanini na ngaphambili. Kwaye ezininzi, ezininzi, izibini ezininzi ziqhubeka ziba neentsana ezonwabileyo, eziphilileyo, ezintle emva koko (yaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngokukhawuleza emva koko ulumkisiwe).
Ngelixa kunzima ukumelana nentlungu, uVan Der Beek uthi ukukholelwa kwabo babeza kuba ziintsana, "ngokuzithandela kolu hambo lufutshane ukuze kuzuze abazali," kumnika imvakalelo yoxolo. Uphelise iposti yakhe ngokukhuthaza abanye ukuba bafumane kwaye babelane ngento elungileyo ababambelele kuyo ngelixa babefumana amava afanayo.
Ukuba wena okanye nabani na kuni uyazi ukuba unengxaki yokuphulukana nokukhulelwa, uGqr Williams unale ngcebiso ilandelayo: "Kungokwemvelo ukuziva ulilolo emva kokuphulukana. Njengakwezinto ezininzi kwezonyango, ulwazi lunokuba luncedo kakhulu. ukwazi ukuba ilahleko yokukhulelwa ixhaphake kangakanani, kwaye uninzi lweentsapho kunye nabahlobo mhlawumbi baye badlula kuyo, kunokuba luncedo. Amaqela enkxaso kunye nokwabelana nabanye kunokuba luncedo. "