I-1 kwaba-5 kubahlobo bakho Ngaba i-Kinky -Ngaba nawe kufanelekile ukuba njalo?

Umxholo

• Masibuyele umva okomzuzwana: Yintoni kanye efaneleke njengekink?
• Ukwabelana ngesondo ngo-Kinky kunokuba luncedo ngeendlela ezithile ezimangalisayo
• Ukuqonda ukungalunganga kwe-kinky yesini, iingcinga eziqinisekileyo kunye neentsomi
• Abasetyhini banomdla kwikink, nabo
• Awu "hlanya" ukuzama i-BDSM
• Awudingi izixhobo ezininzi ezintle
• Ukugcina igumbi lokulala lidlala kwaye likhuselekile
• Yonke into iqala ngemvume
• Amagama akhuselekileyo ayihlekisi
• Cinga (kwaye uthethe) "ngemida yakho enzima"
• Qiniseka ukuba iintlungu ziyonwabisa-kwaye ngaphandle kweziphumo zempilo
• Emva kokukhathalela kubaluleke kakhulu
• Khumbula: Ukwabelana ngesondo kukaKinky yile nto ufuna ukuba yiyo

Isiqingatha sabantu sinomdla kwikink

Ukwabelana ngeyona nkcukacha zisondeleyo kubomi bakho bezesondo isekukuba yinto enkulu. Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukuthetha ngayo nabahlobo bakho abasenyongweni, ngaba ukuyinyusa kwigumbi lokulala kuya kuba lula kakhulu?

Ukuba bekungekho ngenxa ye-erotica eqhelekileyo kunye ne-softcore pornography (hello, "Amashumi amahlanu amaGrey Grey"), usenokungazi kakhulu malunga nokuzama imida kwigumbi lokulala. Kwaye ukuba bekungekho kwizifundo ezingaziwayo, ngekhe sazi ukuba bangaphi abantu baseMelika abazame- kwaye uthande - Ukubetha nokubopha omnye komnye.

Inyani yile yokuba ubuncinci abanye babahlobo bakho mhlawumbi bazamile- kwaye omnye kwabahlanu uyenza indawo yokudlala kwabo kwigumbi lokulala. Ngokwengxelo, ngaphezulu kweepesenti ezingama-22 zabantu abadala abasebenza ngokwesondo bayadlala indima, ngelixa ngaphezulu kweepesenti ezingama-20 bezibophile kwaye babetha.

Mhlawumbi ngokumangalisa ngakumbi? Olunye uphando lwafumanisa ukuba phantse isiqingatha sabantu abayi-1,040 ekwenziwa uhlolisiso kubo babenomdla kwikink, nokuba babengenalo ithuba lokuyihlola. Kwaye kukho uphando olukhulayo lokuba ukuzonwabisa kwigumbi lokulala kunokuba neenzuzo ezininzi, zombini impilo yakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho.

Masibuyele umva okomzuzwana: Yintoni kanye efaneleke njengekink?

Ngelixa igama elithi kink lingenayo inkcazo yezobuchwephesha okanye yezobuchwephesha, ngesiqhelo isenzo sokwabelana ngesondo esiwela ngaphandle kwendibano - isenzo esiqwalaselwa njengezenzo zothando, intetho yothando, ukwanga, ukungena kwilungu lobufazi, ukuphulula amalungu esini, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo ngomlomo. "I-Kink" ngokwayo ibhekisa kuyo nayiphi na into eguqa kude "ngokuthe tye kwaye icekeceke," nangona kukho iindidi ezimbalwa ezihlala ziwela phantsi kwesambrela sesini se-kinky:

• I-BDSM. Xa uninzi lwabantu lucinga ngesini se-kinky, bacinga nge-BDSM, isichazi esinobumba abane esimele Ntandathu izinto ezahlukeneyo: Ubukhoboka, uqeqesho, ukubusa, ukungenisa, ubuSadism, kunye neMasochism. I-BDSM ibandakanya uluhlu olubanzi kakhulu lwezinto ezenziwayo, ukusuka kwisikhonkwane esikhanyayo sokudlala kunye nokudlala indima ephambili / yokuthobela kumaqela ebukhoboka kunye nokudlala iintlungu.
• Umbono kunye nokudlala indima. Enye yeendlela eziqhelekileyo zesini se-kinky kubandakanya ukudala iimeko ezicingelwayo. Oku kunokuba lula njengokuthetha ngefantasy ebhedini, ukuya entsonkothileyo njengokunxiba izinxibo okanye ukwenza imidlalo phambi kwabantu ongabaziyo.
• Ukufakwa. Indoda enye kwamadoda nabafazi banomdla wokudlala umntwana, ichazwa njengokunyanga into engathandekiyo okanye ilungu lomzimba ngokwesondo. Ukufakwa okuqhelekileyo kubandakanya iinyawo kunye nezihlangu, isikhumba okanye irabha, kunye nokudlala ilweyile (ewe).
• Voyeurism okanye umboniso. Ukubukela umntu akhulule okanye abukele abantu abatshatileyo besabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kolwazi lwabo kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba yiminqweno emihle, ngelixa usabelana ngesondo kwindawo kawonke-wonke yenye yeendlela zokubonisa. Zombini ziqhelekile ngokumangalisayo (kunye nekinky) -iipesenti ezingama-35 zabantu abadala abavavanyiweyo babenomdla kwi-voyeurism.
• Ukwabelana ngesondo ngokwamaqela. Ama-Threesomes, amaqela ezesondo, imibhiyozo yesondo, kunye nokunye okungokwesini ngamaqela nasiphi na isenzo esibandakanya abantu abangaphezulu kwesibini. kwaye iipesenti ezili-18 zamadoda zithathe inxaxheba kwiqela lokwabelana ngesondo, ngelixa iipesenti eziphezulu zivakalisa umdla kolu luvo.

Ukwabelana ngesondo ngo-Kinky kunokuba luncedo ngeendlela ezithile ezimangalisayo

Yiva isayensi kuqala: Ukwabelana ngesondo ngo-Kinky kunokukunceda uzive ungcono kwaye ube sempilweni ngokwasengqondweni. Kufunyenwe ukuba bobabini abongamileyo nabazithobayo kwiingcali zeBDSM zezi:

• ngaphantsi kwe-neurotic
• ngakumbi ngakumbi
• evulekileyo ngakumbi kumava amatsha
• isazela ngakumbi
• ukungahoywa kancinci

Babenentlalontle ephezulu yokuthobela xa kuthelekiswa neqela lolawulo. Oku kunokuthetha izinto ezimbini: Ukuba abantu abanezi mpawu banomdla kwisini se-kinky, okanye ukuba isondo lekinky linokukunceda ukhule kwaye uzithembe. Kodwa le yokugqibela inokwenzeka kakhulu, ngakumbi njengoko siphanda ngakumbi malunga neziphumo zesini se-kinky.

Umzekelo, ifumanise ukuba abantu abatshatileyo ababandakanyeka kwimisebenzi elungileyo, evumayo yesadomasochistic (SM) babenamanqanaba asezantsi e-hormone eyingozi yoxinzelelo lwe-cortisol, kwaye baxela iimvakalelo ezinkulu zobudlelwane kunye nokusondelelana emva komdlalo wabo wesondo.

Kwaye isifundo sokuqala sombane "sokutshintsha" (abantu abathatha indima eyahlukileyo abayiqhelileyo, njenge-dom eba yintloko) bafumanisa ukuba ukuvumelana kwe-BDSM kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo ngokuzisa ingqondo kuguquko ”Imeko yokuqonda. Oku kuyafana nokuziva abanye bakufumana xa befumana "imbaleki ephezulu," bazibandakanya ekwenzeni ubugcisa, okanye ukuziqhelanisa neyoga.

Ukuqonda ukungalunganga kwe-kinky yesini, iingcinga eziqinisekileyo kunye neentsomi

Akumangalisi ukuba ekubeni singathethi ngesondo se-kinky, zininzi iinkolelo kunye neengcamango eziphosakeleyo ezijikelezayo. Masicime umoya ngeendlela ezimbalwa eziqhelekileyo zekink.

Abasetyhini banomdla kwikink, nabo

Ngelixa iintlobo ezithile zesini se-kinky zihlala zibhenela ngakumbi kwisini esinye kunesinye- umzekelo, amadoda amaninzi anomdla wokudlala iinyawo, ngelixa uninzi lwabasetyhini lunomdla wokufumana iintlungu njengenxalenye yesini- bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini bafuna ukuphonononga kink malunga ngokulinganayo.

Awu "hlanya" ukuzama i-BDSM

Kwimithombo yeendaba ephambili, i-BDSM ihlala inxulunyaniswa nokuphathwa gadalala kunye nobundlobongela. Abanye abasebenzi baye bajamelana nentshutshiso kunye nocalucalulo ngenxa yeekink zabo. Kodwa uphononongo lubonisa ukuba umntu ophakathi ozibandakanya kwikink evumayo unempilo engaphezulu kwengqondo.

Awudingi izixhobo ezininzi ezintle

Umfanekiso we-dominatrix egqoke isikhumba esebenzisa i-whip ehambelanayo inokungena engqondweni xa ucinga ngesondo se-kinky. Kodwa ngokwenene, konke okudingayo kukucinga kunye neqabane lomdlalo.

Ukuba uyonwabele imithambo ethile okanye ufuna ukuphonononga umhlaba ngokucokisekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo kukho iivenkile zoko. Kodwa ukuzama ikink akuphantse kube njengesixhobo-esinzima njengoko, yithi, ukudlala kwiligi yakho yehokkey yolonwabo. Awudingi nokuba uvalwe amehlo okanye uboshwe izandla ukuba ufuna ukudlala ngokuncitshiswa kweemvakalelo okanye ukuthintela - iqhina okanye isikhwama somqamelo sinokusebenza kuwo omabini la matyala.

Ukugcina igumbi lokulala lidlala kwaye likhuselekile

Nangona isini se-kinky sinezibonelelo ezininzi, kwaye nangona inokuba yiyo nantoni na wena neqabane lakho enifuna ukuba ibe yiyo, kusekho izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka nizigcinile engqondweni ukuze ukuhlola kwenu kube mnandi, kukhuseleke, kwaye kulungile.

Yonke into iqala ngemvume

Imvume eyazisiweyo ayisiyonto eyenzekayo ngaphambi kokuba ube neqabane elitsha, yinto ekufuneka yenzekile ngaphambi kwaso nasiphi na isenzo sesondo, ngakumbi ukuba uzama into ethile yekinky okokuqala. Unxibelelwano lubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane obuphilileyo bezesondo, kodwa kubalulekile xa ujonga iindima eziphambili / zokuzithoba okanye ezinokubangela iintlungu.

Amagama akhuselekileyo ayihlekisi

Inxalenye yefantasy yakho inokubandakanya ukuthintela okanye ukumelana- okuqhelekile kunokuba ucinga phakathi kwabafazi. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba ungathi hayi kwilizwe lakho lamaphupha, kodwa usenayo indlela yokuthi ngokucacileyo hayi kwiqabane lakho, sebenzisa igama elikhuselekileyo ovumelana ngalo ngaphambi kokuba ufumane ikinky. Amabinzana amiselweyo onokuzisebenzisa zezi isibane esibomvu (yima) kunye ukukhanya okuluhlaza (Qhubeka uhamba).

Cinga (kwaye uthethe) "ngemida yakho enzima"

Wonke umntu unemida eyahlukeneyo kunye nemida. Ngelixa ukuvuleleka kwimisebenzi yokulala entsha kulungile, ukuvuleleka malunga nento ongafuniyo ukuphonononga (njengakuqala, nanini) kubaluleke ngokulinganayo. Xoxa ngale "mida enzima" kunye neqabane lakho ngokuvulekileyo - akukho sizathu sokuba coy.

Qiniseka ukuba iintlungu ziyonwabisa-kwaye ngaphandle kweziphumo zempilo

Inxalenye enkulu yesini se-kinky sidibanisa iintlungu kunye nolonwabo. Ngelixa izibini ezininzi zitsala umgca ekubetheni kancinci okanye ngempama, abo baphonononga ezinye iindlela - ezinje ngesifuba kunye nentlungu yesini - kufuneka bazifundise ukuze bangenzi umonakalo omkhulu okanye wexesha elide kwithishu okanye kwimithambo-luvo.

Emva kokukhathalela kubaluleke kakhulu

Nokuba ubandakanyeka kwisini esingeyo-kinky, abasetyhini banokufumana "," kubandakanya iimpawu ezinje ngexhala, ukuba nochuku, okanye ukukhala ngaphandle kwesizathu. Ukubala oku ngononophelo lwasemva kwexesha, olubandakanya ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunye nonxibelelwano, kubalulekile, ngakumbi kwi-BDSM.

Ke sukulala nje emva kokulala ngesondo. Ngena kunye neqabane lakho kwaye uqiniseke ukuba zilungile ngento ehle nje.

Khumbula: Ukwabelana ngesondo kukaKinky yile nto ufuna ukuba yiyo

I-Kink inokukhangeleka yahluke kakhulu kwizibini ezahlukeneyo, kwaye oko kulungile ngokupheleleyo. Ukuphonononga ikink akufuneki kuqala ngokuthenga isuti yomzimba wesikhumba kunye nesabhokhwe. Kungaba lula njengokubona okwenzekayo xa usaphula kwigumbi lakho lokulala rhoqo kwaye ungena kwihlabathi elitsha lesini.

Iimpawu eziphambili zesini se-kinky esiphumeleleyo ziyafana nezo naziphi na ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, bexesha elide:

• unxibelelwano
• ukuthembela
• ukuqonda
• umonde

Kwaye ngoku uyazi ukuba ivunyiwe yisayensi, sukuvumela ii-taboos ezakhiwe ngokwasentlalweni zingene endleleni yolonwabo lwakho. Yiya ngaphandle uze ube krwada.

USara Aswell ngumbhali ozimeleyo ohlala eMissoula, eMontana, kunye nomyeni wakhe kunye neentombi ezimbini. Ukubhala kwakhe kuvele kupapasho olubandakanya iNew Yorker, iMcSweeney, iNational Lampoon, kunye neReductress. Unokufikelela kuye Twitter.