Umzali we-Autism: Iindlela ezili-9 zokuSombulula ingxaki yakho yokufumana abantwana

Umxholo

• 1. Uluntu osele unalo
• 2. Isikolo
• 3. Inkxaso yonyango
• 4. Ingqondo yabazali baka-Autism
• 5. Iinkampu zeemfuno ezizodwa
• 6. Iinkqubo ezizodwa zeekholeji
• 7. Iinkqubo zecawe
• 8. Iindawo zokugcina umntwana kunye nomongi
• 9. Yiba nesicwangciso sokulondoloza

Ukuba ngumzali kunokuba yodwa. Ukuba ngumzali kunokuba nzima. Wonke umntu uyalifuna ikhefu. Wonke umntu kufuneka axhume kwakhona.

Nokuba kungenxa yoxinzelelo, imisebenzi ekufuneka uyenzile, isidingo sokuxubha kubantu abadala, okanye ukuqonda ukuba ngoku uthetha neqabane lakho kwi-falsetto ngesiqhelo ebekelwe umntwana omncinci, abagcini babantwana bayinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokuba ngumzali.

Intombi yam encinci, uLily, ine-autism. Ingxaki kum nakwabanye abazali babantwana abane-autism kukuba, kwiimeko ezininzi, umntwana wasebumelwaneni olunge ngendlela efanelekileyo njengomgcini womntwana akafanelekanga ukusingatha iimfuno zomntwana one-autism. Akufanelekanga kumntwana, kwaye, ngokunyanisekileyo, kumgcini womntwana. Izinto ezinjengokuziphatha okuzenzakalisayo, ukunyibilika, okanye ubundlongondlongo kunokungafaneleki nolutsha oludala ukuba lube ngumntwana. Izinto ezinje ngonxibelelwano olulinganiselweyo okanye olungathethiyo zinokuphakamisa imiba yokuthembana enokuthi ibangele isitter efanelekileyo yokuqwalaselwa ngenxa yokunqongophala kwentuthuzelo yabazali.

Kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukufumana umntu obetha umlingo wethemba, ubuchule kunye nokufumaneka. Ukufumana uluhlu lwabantwana abalungileyo ukuze ufumane ugqirha olungileyo. Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso malunga nokuba ungazijonga phi izibonelelo zobusuku bobusuku, okanye ikhefu nje elincinci.

1. Uluntu osele unalo

Indawo yokuqala-kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, yeyona ilula-uninzi lweemfuno ezizodwa abazali abajonga kuzo ngaphakathi kweentsapho zabo kunye namaqela abahlobo. Ngaba uyabathemba? Ngokuqinisekileyo! Kwaye basebenza ngexabiso eliphantsi! Kodwa njengokuba ootatomkhulu bebudala, okanye oomalume noomalume bemka, kunokuba nzima kubazali ukuba bacofe loo nethiwekhi. Ukongeza, unokufumana umbono (nokuba uchanekile okanye uchanekile) ukuba "unyanzelisa." Kodwa, inyani, ukuba ubunemithombo emininzi yokujongana neemfuno zokhathalelo lomntwana wakho, ngekhe uyifunde le post nakanjani.

2. Isikolo

Abancedisi besikolo abasele besebenza nomntwana wakho kwaye beqhelene neemfuno zabo banokuzimisela ukufumana imali encinci ecaleni. Ngoncedo olunexesha elide luzinikezele, inqanaba lokuthuthuzela, kunye nobuhlobo, lunokuphuhla olwenza ukubuza malunga negigysing gig kungoyiki. Umncedisi wam intombi ozinikeleyo ixesha elide wayekhe wamjonga ehlotyeni. Wayenako nokufikeleleka ngexabiso, kuthathelwa ingqalelo konke akwenzele uLily. Ngelo xesha, kwakungumsebenzi wothando kwaye wayeyintsapho.

3. Inkxaso yonyango

ULily ufumana "iinkonzo ezihlanganayo" (unyango ngaphandle kwesikolo) ukulungiselela intetho ngekholeji yasekuhlaleni. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ezi ntlobo zeenkonzo zijongwa ngugqirha, kodwa "umsebenzi wokugrumba" uphathwa ngabantwana beekholeji abaya esikolweni ukuze babe ngabanyangi ngokwabo. Abantwana basekholejini bahlala befuna imali - ndibambe ubuncinci kwiincutshe ezimbini zentetho ezisakhasayo ukuze ndibukele uLily ukuze ndiye kwisidlo sangokuhlwa okanye kuselwe nabahlobo. Bayamazi uLily, bayaziqonda iimfuno zakhe, kwaye kukho inqanaba lentuthuzelo phakathi kwabo ukusukela ekusebenzeni iiyure ezinde.

4. Ingqondo yabazali baka-Autism

Njengoko uphuhlisa isizwe sakho semidiya yoluntu kwaye uthatha inxaxheba kumaqela abantu abakwiimeko ezifanayo, unokusebenzisa amandla eendaba ezentlalo ukucela iingcebiso, okanye nokuthumela "uncedo olufunwayo" kubantu "abalufumanayo" nabanokuthi bazi umntu othile. Mhlawumbi uphoswa sisibonelelo esilula okanye isibonelelo esinokubakho. Ingqondo yeenyosi inokukubeka ngqo.

5. Iinkampu zeemfuno ezizodwa

Rhoqo esikolweni okanye ngonyango, abazali baya kudluliselwa kwiinkampu ezizodwa zasehlotyeni. Abantu abasele bephuhlisile ubudlelwane nomntwana wakho kwezi nkampu zasehlotyeni banokudibana nomsebenzi kwicala. Ngamanye amaxesha, aba bantu ngamavolontiya, bahlala benomntu wabo obathandayo abaneemfuno ezizodwa. Umnqweno wabo wokwenene wokusebenza nabantwana bethu kunye namava abaye bawafumana ekuxhaseni inkampu kubenza babe neendlela ezilungileyo zokugcina abantwana.

6. Iinkqubo ezizodwa zeekholeji

Olu luphumelele-impumelelo. Abafundi abafundela ikhondo lemfundo ekhethekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo bayalamkela uqeqesho oluncinci emsebenzini. Thatha ithuba lokudinga imali yebhiya kunye nepitsa ngelixa ubavumela ukuba baqhubeke kwakhona, amava okwenyani obomi. Rhoqo, iikholeji ziya kuthumela uncedo olufunwayo kwi-intanethi. Ngenye indlela, ungaqhagamshelana neentloko zesebe malunga nabagqatswa abanokubakho.

7. Iinkqubo zecawe

Abazali abaneemfuno ezizodwa zabantwana abanokufikelela kwinkqubo yecawa ebandakanyayo banokuya kootitshala okanye abancedisi kwezi nkqubo zamathuba okugcina abantwana okanye iingcebiso.

8. Iindawo zokugcina umntwana kunye nomongi

Ukuba usabambekile, iisayithi zokhathalelo ezinje ngeCare.com, iUrbansitter, kunye neSittercity uluhlu lwabantwana abagcina iinkonzo zabo. Iindawo zihlala zinoluhlu ngokukhethekileyo kwiimfuno zabanonopheli. Ungabenza udliwanondlebe kunye nabo kwaye ufumane umntu obonakala ngathi ulungele usapho lwakho. Ngamanye amaxesha, kuya kufuneka ube lilungu ukuze usebenzise iinkonzo zesiza, kodwa oko kubonakala ngathi lixabiso elincinci lokuhlawulela ikhefu elifunekayo.

9. Yiba nesicwangciso sokulondoloza

Nokuba ucofe konke oku kungentla, kusenokuba nzima ukufumana umntu onokuthenjwa, onokufikeleleka, onokuthenjwa, okwaziyo ukuphatha imiceli mngeni eyodwa yomntwana wakho… kwaye ikwafumaneka xa ifuneka. Kwaye abazali abaneemfuno ezizodwa abafumana umntu abanokumthemba kufuneka bakhe kwizicwangciso zokuxhasa kunye nokubuyela umva kweentsuku apho abahlali abathandayo bengekho simahla.

Ukuba uziva uthabathe ithuba kumntwana wasebumelwaneni wakube ucacise gca ukuba lo msebenzi wahluke njani "kwesiqhelo," ngazo zonke iindlela, zama. (Kodwa iimfuno ezizodwa abazali banokucinga ngokufaka i-nanny cam ukufumana uxolo olongezelelekileyo lwengqondo… njengoko ndenzile.)

UJim Walter ngumbhali we Ibhlog nje yeLil, Apho ebalisa ngeziganeko zakhe njengotata ongatshatanga weentombi ezimbini, enye yazo ine-autism. Ungamlandela kwi-Twitter apha @iamfanlalisa.