Indlela yokuphendula xa umntu ekunika into ongayaziyo

Umxholo

• Ukwazi njani xa uhlukumeza
• 1. Thatha indlela enobulali: Yenze malunga nabo
• 2. Okanye, yenze malunga nawe
• 3. Ungayihoyi ide idlule
• 4. Nika izisombululo
• 5. Yima ngokwakho
• Yintoni ongamele uyenze
• Ukuqonda ezinye iintlobo zokuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo
• Ungalufumana njani uncedo
• Umgca wezantsi

Ukuba ukhe wazifumana ukwimeko apho ungakhange ufumane umntu oza kuthetha nawe, okanye ade akuvume, ukhe wayifumana impatho ethe cwaka. Unokude ukhe uzinike ngokwakho ngelinye ixesha.

Unyango olungenakuthula lunokwenzeka kubudlelwane bezothando okanye naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane, kubandakanya phakathi kwabazali nabantwana, izihlobo, kunye nabo usebenza nabo.

Inokuba sisenzo esikhawulezileyo kwimeko apho umntu omnye aziva enomsindo, edanile, okanye edinwe kakhulu ukuba angamelana nengxaki. Kwezi meko, nje ukuba ubushushu bomzuzwana budlule, kunjalo nokuthula.

Unyango olungenakuthula lunokuba yinxalenye yendlela ebanzi yokulawula okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Xa isetyenziswa rhoqo njengomdlalo wamandla, inokukwenza uzive unqatshelwe okanye ungabandakanywa. Oku kunokuba nefuthe elikhulu ekuzithembeni kwakho.

Ukwazi njani xa uhlukumeza

Ngaphambi kokuntywila kwiindlela zokuphendula kunyango olungathethiyo, kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba ungayiqonda njani xa isiba kukuhlukumeza.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuthula kunokuba yeyona nto intle yokuphepha ukuthetha izinto oya kuzisola ngazo kamva. Abantu banokuyisebenzisa ngamaxesha apho bengazi ukuba bangazibonisa njani okanye bazive bexinekile.

Kodwa abanye abantu basebenzisa ukungathethi njengesixhobo sokwenza amandla ngaphezulu komntu okanye ukudala umgama weemvakalelo. Ukuba ufumana olu hlobo lonyango, unokuziva ukhethwe ngokupheleleyo.

Abantu abasebenzisa ukungathethi njengendlela yokulawula bafuna ukukubeka endaweni yakho. Baza kukunika igxalaba elibandayo kangangeentsuku okanye iiveki ekugqibeleni ukufezekisa ezo njongo. Olu luxhatshazo ngokweemvakalelo.

Kunzima ukuhlala ngaloo ndlela, ngoko unokulingwa ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ubuyele kwiimpawu zabo ezintle, eziqhubela phambili umjikelo.

Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukuhlala uziva ukhutshiwe kunokunciphisa ukuzithemba kunye nokuziva ungumntu. Ingakushiya uzive ngathi akukho ngaphandle kolawulo. Esi siphumo sinokuba namandla ngakumbi xa senziwe ngumntu osondeleyo kuwe njengemo yokohlwaya.

Nazi iimpawu ezimbalwa ezibonisa ukuba unyango olungathethiyo luwela umgca ukuya kwindawo yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo:

• Yinto eyenzeka rhoqo kwaye ihlala ixesha elide.
• Kuvela kwindawo yokohlwaywa, hayi isidingo sokupholisa okanye ukuzihlanganisa.
• Kuphela xa ucela uxolo, ucenga, okanye unikezela kwiimfuno.
• Utshintshe indlela oziphethe ngayo ukunqanda ukufumana unyango olungathethiyo.

1. Thatha indlela enobulali: Yenze malunga nabo

Ukuba le ayisiyonto eyenziwa ngomnye umntu rhoqo kuwe, indlela emnene inokuba yindlela elungileyo yokuqalisa incoko. Basenokuba buhlungu kwaye bafuna indlela yokuphuma.

Ngokuzola xelela umntu ukuba uqaphele ukuba akaphenduli kwaye ufuna ukuqonda ukuba kutheni. Gxininisa ukuba ufuna ukusombulula izinto.

Ngelixa ayilotyala lakho ukuba omnye umntu athathe isigqibo sokukunika unyango, unoxanduva lokucela uxolo ukuba wenze into engalunganga.

Ukuba babonakala bengamkeli, baxelele ukuba uyaqonda ukuba banokufuna ixesha lokuba bodwa. Kodwa xela ukuba ungathanda ukuhlela ixesha lokuhlangana kunye nokusombulula ingxaki.

2. Okanye, yenze malunga nawe

Xelela loo mntu ukuba ukungathethi kubuhlungu kwenzeka njani kwaye akushiye uziva udanile kwaye uwedwa. Ayisiyiyo le nto uyifunayo okanye oyifunayo kubudlelwane.

Chaza ukuba awukwazi ukusombulula imiba ngale ndlela, emva koko ke ubalule malunga nale micimbi. Ukuba olu hlobo lokuziphatha ludibana nolwalamano kunye nawe, yichaze ngokucacileyo.

3. Ungayihoyi ide idlule

Unyango olungathethiyo akusoloko lusetyenziselwa ukwenzakalisa amanxeba. Ngamanye amaxesha, sisiganeko esizimeleyo esiphuma esandleni. Ungayivumela ukuba ityibilike de beze kwaye baqhubeke.

Okanye, kunokuba yindlela yokuhamba nje yokukugcina uphantsi kolawulo. Kule meko, eyona nto bayifunayo kukuba uzive ungalunganga ngokwaneleyo ukuba wenze inyathelo lokuqala. Babhide ixesha labo, balinde wena ukuba ugravel kwaye unikezele kwiimfuno.

Endaweni yokuba uhambe malunga neshishini lakho ngokungathi alikukhathazi. Oku kulula ukutsho ngaphandle kokwenza, kodwa zama ukuziphazamisa ngokuhamba ngaphandle okanye ungene kwincwadi elungileyo.

Bahoye kwimpendulo abayifunayo. Bonisa ukuba ukungathethi akukho ndlela yakufumana oko bakufunayo kuwe.

4. Nika izisombululo

Cebisa intlanganiso yobuso ngobuso ukumisa imigaqo ethile yonxibelelwano olungcono kwixesha elizayo. Yenza isicwangciso sendlela eniza kuthetha ngayo omnye komnye xa izinto zishushu kwaye uza kuyiphepha njani impatho ethe cwaka yokuqhubela phambili.

Nikanani ithuba lokumamela nokuphindaphinda into ethethwa ngomnye umntu ukuze nicace gca kulindelo lwenu omnye komnye. Ukuba uthandana nabantu abathandanayo, cebisa ukuya kwizibini ezinengcebiso ukuze ufunde izixhobo ezitsha.

5. Yima ngokwakho

Xa izinto zisiba kukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, awukho kubudlelwane obusempilweni. Lixesha lokuzibeka kuqala.

Ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba ubudlelwane kufanelekile ukuba busindiswe:

• Misela imida eqinileyo malunga nokuziphatha okwamkelekileyo kunye nendlela olindele ukuphathwa ngayo.
• Cebisa umntu ngamnye okanye izibini zokucebisa ukuba zisebenze kwimicimbi yobudlelwane kunye nonxibelelwano.
• Chaza ngqo ukuba kuzakwenzeka ntoni xa kugqityiwe imida, kwaye ulandele xa owakho ewelile.

Ukuba akukho themba lokuba omnye umntu uya kutshintsha, cinga ukushiya ubudlelwane.

Yintoni ongamele uyenze

Xa kuziwa ekuphenduleni unyango olungathethiyo, kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokufuna ukuziphepha. Oku kubandakanya:

• uphendula ngomsindo, onokuthi unyuse nje izinto
• ukucenga okanye ukucenga, okhuthaza kuphela isimilo
• uxolisa nje ukuyiphelisa, nangona kungekho nto imbi uyenzileyo
• uqhubeke nokuzama ukuqiqa nomnye umntu emva kokuba sele umnikile
• ukuyithatha buqu, njengoko ungabekek ’ityala ngendlela abanye abakhetha ukukuphatha ngayo
• isoyikisa ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane ngaphandle kokuba ukulungele ukwenza njalo

Ukuqonda ezinye iintlobo zokuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo

Ukunyanga okungathethi akusoloko kunxulumene nokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Abanye abantu abanazo izakhono zonxibelelwano ezifanelekileyo okanye bafuna ukubuyela kubo ukuze benze izinto.

Kubantu abaxhaphaza iimvakalelo, nangona kunjalo, ukungathethisani sisixhobo sokulawula. Ekuqaleni, kunokuba nzima ukwazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ujongene nengxaki enkulu.

Ke, nantsi eminye imiqondiso yokuxhatshazwa:

• ukukhwaza rhoqo
• ukuthukwa nokubizwa ngamagama
• amaxesha omsindo, ukubetha amanqindi, nokuphosa izinto
• iinzame zokukuhlazisa okanye ukukuhlazisa, ngakumbi phambi kwabanye
• umona nezityholo
• ekuthathela izigqibo ngaphandle kwemvume yakho
• Ukuhlola kuwe
• ukuzama ukukuhlukanisa nosapho kunye nabahlobo
• kulawula imali
• ukukubeka ityala kuko konke okungahambi kakuhle kwaye ungaze ucele uxolo
• ukugrogrisa ngokuzenzakalisa ukuba awuyenzi le nto bayifunayo
• Ukwenza izoyikiso kuwe, abantu obakhathaleleyo, izilwanyana zasekhaya, okanye izinto onazo

Ngaba ezinye zezi zinto sele ziqhelekile? Nokuba ayikaze ifunyanwe ngokwasemzimbeni, ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba neziphumo zexesha elifutshane kunye nexesha elide, kubandakanya iimvakalelo:

• ubulolo
• ukuzijongela phantsi
• ukuphelelwa lithemba

Isenokuba nokuba negalelo kwizifo ezithile, kubandakanya

• ukudakumba
• ukudinwa okungapheliyo
• ifibromyalgia

Ungalufumana njani uncedo

Ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba uhlangabezana nokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, awunyanzelekanga ukuba unyamezele. Cinga ukuba uyafuna na ukugcina ubudlelwane kunye naloo mntu.

Ukuba liqabane lakho okanye iqabane, nobabini ninokuxhamla kwiingcebiso zezibini okanye unyango lomntu ngamnye ukuze nifunde iindlela ezingcono zokulawula ukungavisisani.

Xa ukungathethi kuyinxalenye yomba omkhulu wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, ungazibeki tyala. Ayilotyala lakho. Awunaxanduva lokuziphatha kwabo, nokuba bathini na kuwe. Ukuba lo mntu ngokunyanisekileyo ufuna ukutshintsha, baya kuzifaka kwiingcebiso.

Kuya kufuneka ukhathalele iimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo, ezinokubandakanya ukuqhawula ubudlelwane. Kubalulekile ukuba ungazahluli ngeli xesha. Gcina abafowunelwa bakho ekuhlaleni. Nxibelelana nosapho kunye nabahlobo ngenkxaso.

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Usenokuzuza kwiingcebiso zomntu ngamnye okanye zeqela. Buza umboneleli wakho wezempilo oyintloko ukuba akuthumele kumgqirha ofanelekileyo.

Umgca wezantsi

Ngelixa ingahlali ikhohlakele, unyango oluthulileyo ngokuqinisekileyo aluyondlela isempilweni yokunxibelelana. Ukuba ukungathethi kuthe cwaka ebomini bakho, kukho amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho okanye ukuzisusa kwimeko yokuhlukunyezwa.