Ndiyekile Ukuthetha Ngomzimba Wam kangangeentsuku ezingama-30—kwaye nomzimba wam Wasuka Waphela

Umxholo

• Abantu bazo zonke iimilo kunye nobukhulu abonwabanga ngemizimba yabo.
• Kunzima ukunqanda iingxoxo zemidiya yoluntu.
• Ukujonga iingcinga zakho * lelinye ibali ngokupheleleyo.
• Ayisiyonto oyithethayo kuphela-imalunga nendlela oziva ngayo.
• Ukuthetha ngempilo yakho yinto eyahlukileyo.
• Ndithathe isigqibo sokuyibuyisela incoko.
• Uphengululo lwe

Khange ndiwubone umzimba wam ngelensi yokuzixabisa de ndikwibanga lesithandathu kwaye ndisanxibe iimpahla endizithengileyo kwaBantwana R Us. Ukuphuma e-mall kwakhawuleza kwabonisa ukuba oontanga bam babenganxibi ubungakanani be-12 yamantombazana endaweni yoko bathenga ezivenkileni kulutsha.

Ndithathe isigqibo sokuba kufuneka ndenze into malunga noku kungafani. Ke ngeCawe elandelayo ecaweni, ndalinganisa amadolo am anamaqhina kwaye ndajonga umnqamlezo oxhonywe eludongeni, ndicela uThixo ukuba andinike umzimba onokulingana neempahla zabaselula: ubude, isinqe — ndingathatha nantoni na. Ndandifuna ukungena kwezo mpahla, kodwa ubukhulu becala ndandifuna ukwamkeleka kweminye imizimba endiyinxibileyo.

Emva koko, ndibetha ukufikisa kwaye iiobobs zam "zangena." Okwangoku, bendisenza ukuhlala kwigumbi lam lokulala ukuze ndiphume njengoBritney. Ekholejini, ndafumanisa i-queso kunye nebhiya ephantsi-kunye nokubaleka umgama omde kunye nomkhwa wokuzinkcinkca kunye nokucoca. Ndiphinde ndafunda ukuba amadoda anokuba nezimvo ngomzimba wam, nawo. Xa umfana endandithandana naye wandidlalisa isisu waza wathi, “ufanele wenze okuthile ngaloo nto,” ndahleka kodwa kamva ndazama ukucima amazwi akhe ngeso ngalinye lokubila. (Idibeneyo: Abantu bayathumela ngeXesha lokuQala Babenamahloni ngomzimba)

Ke, hayi, ubudlelwane bam nomzimba wam abuzange bube sempilweni. Kodwa ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ubudlelwane obungenampilo zizinto ezithandwayo kum kunye nabahlobo bam ababhinqileyo, nokuba sithetha ngabaphathi, abathandana nabo, okanye ulusu esikulo. Iyasibopha. Ukuthi izinto ezinje "bendineeponti ezine zepitsa. Ndisisilo esenyanyekayo," okanye "ugh, ndifuna ukuzikhathaza ejimini emva kwale mpelaveki yomtshato," yayiqhelekile.

Ndiqale ukuyicinga le nto xa umbhali wenoveli uJessica Knoll epapashe INew York Times uluvo olubizwa ngokuba yi "Smash the Wellness Industry." Usebenzise uvavanyo lwe-Bechdel njengendawo ekubhekiswa kuyo kwaye wacebisa uhlobo olutsha lovavanyo kwi-2019: "Bafazi, ngaba ababini okanye nangaphezulu kuthi bahlangane ngaphandle kokukhankanya imizimba yethu kunye nokutya? Ingayinto encinci yokumelana kunye nobubele kuthi ." Ndichithe iintsuku ezininzi ndithatha eminye imiceli mngeni-umceli mngeni weentsuku ezingama-30 we-yoga, ndincame iilekese zeLent, ukutya okuneketo-vegan- kutheni kungenjalo?

Imithetho: Andizukuthetha ngomzimba wam kangangeentsuku ezingama-30, kwaye bendizama ngobunono ukuvala incoko yabanye. Inokuba nzima kangakanani loo nto? Ndingamane ndiphose itekisi, ndibaleke ndiye kwigumbi langasese, nditshintshe umxholo...Ngaphezu koko, bendingekho kwiqela lam lesiqhelo (umsebenzi womyeni wam usandula ukusifudusela eLondon), ndiye ndacinga ukuba ndiza kuba namathuba ambalwa kubo bonke. Obu bubhanxa ke ukuqala.

Njengoko kuvela, olu hlobo lokuncokola lukho kuyo yonke indawo, nokuba ngamatheko esidlo sangokuhlwa anobuso obutsha okanye i-What's App convos nabahlobo bakudala. Umfanekiso womzimba ongalunganga ngubhubhani wehlabathi.

Ngaphezulu kwenyanga, nantsi into endiyifundileyo:

Abantu bazo zonke iimilo kunye nobukhulu abonwabanga ngemizimba yabo.

Ndathi ndakuqalisa ukunikela ingqalelo kwezi ncoko, ndaqonda ukuba wonke umntu wayenazo—kungakhathaliseki uhlobo lomzimba nobukhulu. Ndithethile nabantu abawela kwiipesenti ezi-2 zabasetyhini baseMelika abanemizimba yeenqwelo-moya, kwaye banezikhalazo zabo. Oomama baziva ngathi kukho le wotshi inika uphawu xa kufuneka bebuyele kubunzima bangaphambi komntwana. Abatshakazi bacinga ukuba * kufuneka* balahlekelwe iipounds ezilishumi ngenxa yokuba wonke umntu (mna ngokwam ndibandakanyiwe) uthi "uxinzelelo lwenza ukuba ubunzima buwele ngokukhawuleza." Ngokucacileyo, le ngxaki imalunga nobukhulu okanye inani kwisikali.

Kunzima ukunqanda iingxoxo zemidiya yoluntu.

Andizange ndibe ngumntu obeka i-pics yomzimba wam, ngakumbi kuba andizange ndibe nebhongo ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndiqhayise. Kodwa kusenzima ukunqanda zonke iincoko esinazo malunga nemizimba yethu kwi-intanethi. Ezinye zezo khonsathi zinomdla wokwenene womzimba (#LoveMyShape), kodwa ukuba uzama ukuthintela incoko iyonke, i-Instagram yindawo yam eyimi mgodi.

Kwaye kukhohlisayo. Ngaphambi kwalo mceli mngeni, udade wethu wandibonisa ii -apps ezikuvumela ukuba ubambe isisu sakho kwaye ukhuphe isinqe sakho kwaye ufumane i-silhouette yaseKardashian kwiimpompo nje ezimbalwa. Ngelixa ndandindwendwele umhlobo wam osenyongweni uSara e-U.S, sakhuphela enye eyenza iifreyim zethu zibukeke ziqaqambile, amazinyo ekhazimla nolusu luthambile. Sigqibele ngokuthumela iipics zethu ezingalungiswanga, kodwa mandikuxelele, bekuhenda ukuthumela ezona zincamisayo. Ke, sazi njani ukuba yeyiphi imifanekiso kwifidi yethu eyinyani, kwaye yeyiphi ifotoshop?

Ukujonga iingcinga zakho * lelinye ibali ngokupheleleyo.

Nangona ndandingathethi ngomzimba wam, ndandithetha ukucinga malunga nayo rhoqo. Ndandibhala imihla ngemihla ngokutya endikutyayo neencoko endandiziva. Ndade ndaba nephupha elibi apho ndandilinganiswa esidlangalaleni kwisikali esikhulu, ndibonisa ngamanani abomvu aqaqambileyo ukuba ndandine-15 leepawundi ubunzima kunokuba ndandinjalo ngaphambili. Nangona ndinemiba yomfanekiso womzimba wam, andizange ndiphuphe malunga nobunzima bam ngaphambili. Kufana nokuba bendikhathazekile malunga hayi Ukuthathela ingqalelo.

Ayisiyonto oyithethayo kuphela-imalunga nendlela oziva ngayo.

Bendingaziva mnandi. Esi sihloko sithulisiweyo sasifana nendlovu enobunzima obuthatha ubunzima egumbini. Ngokuzama ukufumana ibhalansi, ndandiphuma ngaphandle kolawulo. Ndandizilolonga qho kusasa. Ndizama ukuba ndingakucingi ukutya kwam kodwa ngokungazi ndithatha isitokhwe. Ndiphose isidlo sakusasa; isidlo sasemini, benditya isaladi kunye nekomityi yebhotolo yetoyi yetshokholethi egxothwa yi-espresso ephindwe kabini; post-work bendiya ukonwabisa iindwendwe phezu 10 p.m. pub grub, kwaye xa iwotshi ibetha ngo-5 am benditsiba ebhedini ukuze ndizohlwaye ngomnye umsebenzi. Ewe, ukuhlala rhoqo usebenze yinto entle kubantu abaninzi, kodwa bendizenza ngathi ndingumntu okhubazekileyo ngelixa ndityhala umzimba wam ukuba wenze ezona ndawo zithambekileyo nezikhawulezayo kwi-MPH eBarry's Bootcamp. Kwaye ndandingayonwabeli. Ngandlela thile, olu vavanyo lwaqala ukungqubana nentloko-kunye nempilo yam. (Idibeneyo: Yintoni evakalelwa kukuba ne-Exercise Bulimia)

Ukuthetha ngempilo yakho yinto eyahlukileyo.

Ndiqaphele into endicinga ukuba bubushushu emva kweyoga ngenye imini. Andizange ndiyihoye kangangeentsuku ezimbalwa de iintlungu ezisezantsi zikakhakhayi kunye nezaps zombane zokothuka ngaphantsi kwerhashalala zandisa kuGqirha. Ndaziva ndisisidenge xa ​​ndixelela ugqirha ukuba konke kubonakala kunxulumene. Kodwa ndandinyanisile. Undifumene ndine-shingles ndineminyaka engama-33.

Amajoni am omzimba abethile. Ugqirha wam wandixelela ukuba andizukusebenza, kwaye ndaqala ukukhala. Le yayiyeyona ndlela yam yokuphelisa uxinzelelo, kwaye bendizama ukwenza abahlobo abatsha ngokucwangcisa imihla yokufunda. Ukuzivocavoca kunye newayini zizinto kuphela endizaziyo ukuba ndizidibanise nabasetyhini ngaphezulu. Kwaye ngoku andinakuba nayo. U-doc wam uthe atye ukutya okusempilweni, alale kancinci, kwaye athathe umsebenzi iveki yonke.

Ndithe ndazomisa iinyembezi zam, ndaziva ndikhululekile. Okwesihlandlo sokuqala ebomini bam, ndandithetha ngomzimba wam ngendlela enentsingiselo—kungekhona nje ukongezelela ngokwasemzimbeni ukuzixabisa kwam, kodwa njengomatshini obalulekileyo ondenza ndihambe ngokuthe tye, ndiphefumle, ndithethe, ndiqhwanyaze. Kwaye umzimba wam wawuthetha uphendula, undixelela ukuba ndihlise isantya.

Ndithathe isigqibo sokuyibuyisela incoko.

Embindini walomceli mngeni-kunye noxilongo lwam-ndibuyele e-U.S. Kwimitshato emibini. Kwaye ngelixa injongo yam yayikukungathethi ngomzimba wam, ndafumanisa ukuba ukuthula mhlawumbi yayingeyona yeyona nto ilungileyo. Into eqale njengemishini yokufihla ukuvala iincoko yaba yindlela yokuqalisa iingxoxo ezincomekayo kwaye yenze abantu bazikhumbule ngakumbi le mikhwa mibi idibanisa iimbali zethu kwaye idlulisiwe kumajelo eendaba, kwiimodeli zethu, okanye koomama ngoomama babo ' oomama.

Bendihlala ndikhathazeka ukuba ndiphoswe ngumsebenzi okanye ndatya ii-carbs ezininzi, kodwa xa ndandindwendwele eNew York, ndaqala ndazula ezitratweni apho ndandihlala khona ngaphezulu kweshumi leminyaka. Ndivuka kwakusasa ndize ndihambe iibhloko ezingamashumi amabini ukuya kwivenkile yekofu engenakuphikiswa endiyikhethileyo kwiimephu zikaGoogle. Oku kundinike ixesha kunye neengcinga zam, ukumamela iipodcast, ukujonga isiphithiphithi kunye nemizimba esebenzayo esebenza macala onke kum.

Khange ndiyeke ukuthetha ngomzimba wam nangempilo yam. Kodwa xa iincoko ziguqukela kukutya okanye ukungoneliseki, bendizisa inqaku likaJessica Knoll. Ngokungena ngaphakathi-kunye nokukhupha-ukhula olugqithisileyo olugqithisileyo kwingxelo yezempilo, ndafumanisa ukuba singenza ithuba lokuba incoko ezintsha zikhule.

Ke kumoya wale ncoko intsha, ndibuyisela umceli mngeni kuye ngomceli mngeni ongowam. Endaweni yokubeka izimvo kwiimpawu zomzimba womhlobo wakho, masingene nzulu: Enkosi umhlobo wakho ngokukuvumela ukuba uphahlazeke iveki xa ucinga ukuba uneebhedi (mna nje?), Xelela umntu osebenza naye ohlekisayo ukuba ukuhlekisa kwakhe kukufumene ngo-2013 , okanye uvumele umphathi wakho azi ukuba ishishini lakhe acumen ikukhuthaze ukuba ufumane i-MFA yakho.

Ndingathanda ukutsala isihlalo kulaa tafile kwaye ndingene ngokungenaloyiko kuso nasiphi na isihloko esisixoxayo-kunye nevati yeoyile yomnquma esigalela kuyo iintonga zethu zesonka.

Uphengululo lwe