Nceda uyeke ukucinga ngoxinzelelo lwam oluphezulu olusebenzayo lundenza ndonqene

Umxholo

• Uxinzelelo lunobuso obuninzi
• Hayi, andikwazi "ukugqitha nje"
• Abantu abasebenza ngokukuko bafuna unyango loxinzelelo
• Indlela engaphambili

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

NguMvulo. Ndivuka nge-4: 30 kusasa ndisiya kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, ndize ekhaya, ndihlambe, kwaye ndiqale ukubhala ibali elifanelekileyo emveni kwemini. Ndiva umyeni wam eqala ukuvusa, ndiye ndinyuka ndiye kuncokola naye ngelixa elungiselela usuku.

Okwangoku, intombi yethu iyavuka kwaye ndiyive icula ngovuyo ebhedini: "Mama!" Ndiqokelele uClaire ebhedini yakhe kwaye sihamba ezantsi ukuya kwenza isidlo sakusasa. Sinyoshozele esofeni kwaye ndiphefumla ivumba elimnandi leenwele zakhe ngelixa esitya.

Ngo-7: 30 kusasa, ndaye ndanyanzela ukuzilolonga, ndanxiba, ndenza umsebenzi omncinci, ndanga umyeni wam ndalala kwaye ndaqala usuku lwam nosana lwam.

Kwaye emva koko ukudakumba kwam kungena ngaphakathi.

Uxinzelelo lunobuso obuninzi

"Uxinzelelo luchaphazela bonke ubuntu kwaye lunokukhangeleka lwahluke kakhulu kubantu abohlukeneyo," utshilo uJodi Aman, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nombhali we "Wena 1, Ixhala 0: Buphumelele Ubomi Bakho ngenxa Yoloyiko kunye Noloyiko."

"Umntu osebenza kakhulu unokubandezeleka ngokungabonakali," utshilo.

Ngokwengxelo ka-2015 yoSetyenziso gwenxa lweziyobisi kunye noLawulo lweeNkonzo zeMpilo yeNgqondo, kuqikelelwa ukuba kwizigidi ezi-6.1 zabantu abadala abaneminyaka eli-18 nangaphezulu e-United States babenesiqendu esinye soxinzelelo kunyaka ophelileyo. Eli nani limele iipesenti ezi-6.7 zabo bonke abantu abadala base-U.S. Ngaphezu, ukuphazamiseka koxinzelelo sesona sifo sokugula ngengqondo sixhaphakileyo eUnited States, sichaphazela abantu abadala abazizigidi ezingama-40 kwabaneminyaka eli-18 nangaphezulu, okanye iipesenti ezili-18 zabemi.

Kodwa iingcali ezininzi zempilo yengqondo ziyakhawuleza ukubonisa ukuba, ngelixa la manani ebonisa ukuqheleka koxinzelelo kunye nezinye iimeko, indlela abantu abafumana ngayo iimpawu yahlukile.Uxinzelelo alusoloko lucacile kwabo bakungqongileyo, kwaye kufuneka sithethe malunga noku.

Uxinzelelo lunokuthintela umnqweno womsebenzi kunye nesenzo, kodwa abantu abasebenza kakhulu bathambekele ekuqhubekeni kumzamo wokuphumelela ngeenjongo, utshilo uMayra Mendez, PhD, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nomququzeleli wenkqubo yokukhubazeka kwengqondo kunye nophuhliso kunye neenkonzo zempilo yengqondo eProvidence Saint IZiko loPhuhliso loMntwana kunye noSapho likaJohn eSanta Monica, eCalifornia. Umnqweno wokufezekisa uhlala ugcina isenzo kwaye ushukumisela abantu abasebenza phezulu ekwenzeni izinto.

Oku kuthetha ukuba abanye abantu abanokudakumba banokugcina imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla-kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ekhethekileyo. U-Mendez walatha kumanani aqaphelekayo athe abanoxinzelelo, kubandakanya uWinston Churchill, uEmily Dickinson, uCharles M. Schultz, kunye no-Owen Wilson njengemizekelo ephambili.

Hayi, andikwazi "ukugqitha nje"

Ndihleli noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kuninzi lobomi bam abadala. Xa abantu beva ngemizabalazo yam, ndihlala ndadibana no "Andizange ndicinge njalo ngawe!"

Ngelixa aba bantu behlala beneenjongo ezintle kwaye bengenako nje ukungazi okuninzi malunga nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo, into endiyivayo ngaloo mizuzu yile: “Kodwa yintoni enokuthi wena Ukudandatheka ngantoni? ” okanye “Yintoni enokuba mbi kangako malunga eyakho ubomi? ”

Into abantu abangayiqondiyo kukuba ukulwa nemeko yempilo yengqondo kuhlala kwenziwa ngaphakathi- kwaye abo bethu basebenzisana nabo bachitha ixesha elininzi bezibuza loo mibuzo minye.

UKathryn Moore, PhD, ugqirha wezengqondo kwiziko laseProvidence Saint John's Child kunye neZiko loPhuhliso loSapho eSanta Monica, eCarlifonia uthi: "Uluvo olungelulo loxinzelelo kukuba ungaphuma nje kulo okanye kwenzeke into ebangela ukuba uzive udandathekile."

“Xa uxinezelekile ngokwasekliniki, uziva ulusizi kakhulu okanye uphelelwe lithemba ngaphandle kwesizathu sangaphandle. Ukudakumba kunokuba yinto yokungonwabi okungapheliyo ebomini, okanye kunokuba kukuziva unganathemba kunye neengcinga ezimbi ngawe kunye nobomi bakho, utshilo.

UMendez uyavuma, esongeza ukuba inkolelo ephosakeleyo ngoxinzelelo kukuba yimeko yengqondo onokuyilawula ngokucinga ngokuqinisekileyo. Akunjalo, utsho.

Ukudakumba yimeko yonyango echazwe kukungalingani kwemichiza, zebhayoloji kunye nolwakhiwo oluchaphazela ukulawulwa kwemood, "ucacisa uMendez. “Zininzi izinto ezinegalelo kuxinzelelo, kwaye akukho namnye unobangela weempawu zokudakumba. Uxinzelelo alunakupheliswa ziingcinga ezintle. ”

U-Mendez udwelisa ezinye izimvo eziphosakeleyo malunga nokudakumba, kubandakanya "uxinzelelo yinto efanayo nosizi" kwaye "uxinzelelo luza kuzihambela lodwa."

Uthi: "Usizi yimvakalelo eqhelekileyo kwaye kulindeleke kwiimeko zelahleko, zotshintsho, okanye amava obomi anzima." “Uxinzelelo yimeko ekhoyo ngaphandle kokudala kwaye ihlala ixesha elide de ifune unyango. Uxinzelelo lungaphezulu kokukhathazeka ngamanye amaxesha. Uxinzelelo lubandakanya ukuphelelwa lithemba, ukonqena, ukungabi namsebenzi, ukungabi nakuzinceda, ukuba nochuku, neengxaki zokujonga nokunikela ingqalelo. ”

Kum, ukudakumba kuhlala kuvakala ngokungathi ndibukele ubomi bomnye umntu, ngokungathi ndingcangcazela ngaphezulu komzimba wam. Ndiyazi ukuba ndenza zonke izinto "ekufanele ukuba ndizenzile" kwaye ndincuma ngokunyanisekileyo kwizinto endizithandayo, kodwa ndishiyeke ndiziva ngathi ndingumkhohlisi. Kuyafana nokuziva umntu anokufumana xa behleka okokuqala emva kokuphulukana nomntu omthandayo. Uvuyo lomzuzwana lukhona, kodwa inqindi emathunjini ingekude kakhulu.

Abantu abasebenza ngokukuko bafuna unyango loxinzelelo

UMorell uthi unyango yeyona ndawo ilungileyo umntu anokuluqala kuyo unyango ukuba ngaba uneempawu zoxinzelelo.

“Iingcali zonyango zinokunceda umntu ukuba abone iingcinga ezingakhiyo, iinkolelo kunye nemikhwa enokubangela ukuba azive edandathekile. Ingabandakanya izinto ezinje ngamayeza, ukufunda izakhono zokucinga, kunye nokwenza imisebenzi enxulumene nokuphucula imeko, njengokuzilolonga, utshilo.

UJohn Huber, i-PsyD, ye-Mainstream Mental Health ukwacebisa ukuba uphume "kwibhokisi yakho yokuthuthuzela," ngakumbi ukuba lo mntu ungaphezu komlwelwe.

"Nangona bebe yimpumelelo kwaye amaxesha amaninzi bekhokela kwicandelo labo, aba bantu [baqhuba ubomi babo] kufana nokubaleka ugqatso ngebhanti yobunzima ephethe i-100 yeepawundi ezongezelelweyo," utshilo. Ukwehlisa umthwalo, utshilo uHuber, cinga ukukhupha izixhobo, ukuphuma uye kubethwa ngumoya omtsha, okanye ukuthatha umsebenzi omtsha. Uphando lufumene ukuba ukwenza ubugcisa kunokuba nezibonelelo ezithembisayo kwabo bajongene nokudakumba.

Malunga nolwam uluvo: Thetha ngoxinzelelo lwakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ekuqaleni, ngekhe kube lula kwaye unganexhala lokuba abantu bazakucinga ntoni. Kodwa khetha ilungu losapho elithembakeleyo, umhlobo, okanye ingcali kwaye uya kufunda ukuba abantu abaninzi babelana ngamava afanayo. Ukuthetha ngayo kunciphisa ukubekwa ecaleni okubangelwa kukufumana imeko yempilo yengqondo ngaphakathi.

Ngenxa yokuba akunamsebenzi ebusweni boxinzelelo lwakho, kuhlala kulula ukujonga esipilini xa kukho igxalaba lokuncika kukuma ecaleni kwakho.

Indlela engaphambili

Kwinkalo yempilo yengqondo, kusekho okuninzi esingakwaziyo. Kodwa into esiyaziyo kukuba ukudakumba kunye noxinzelelo lokuxhalaba luchaphazela abantu abaninzi kakhulu kuluntu lwethu ukuze bahlale bengazi nto ngazo.

Ukuxinezeleka akundenzi umntu onqenayo, ongenantlalontle, okanye umhlobo ombi kunye nomama. Kwaye ngelixa ndinokwenza izinto ezininzi, andoyiseki. Ndiyaqonda ukuba ndifuna uncedo nenkqubo yenkxaso.

Kwaye kulungile.

Ukubhalwa kukaCaroline Shannon-Karasik kubonisiwe kupapasho oluninzi, kubandakanya: Ukugcina izindlu kakuhle, iRedbook, uThintelo, iVegNews, kunye neemagazini zeKiwi, kunye neSheKnows.com kunye neEatClean.com. Ngoku ubhala ingqokelela yezincoko. Okungakumbi kunokufumaneka imisayoline.com. UCaroline unokufikelela kwi-Instagram @imvucity.