Imibuzo emi-6 yokuzibulala ubungaqinisekanga ukuba ubuza njani

Umxholo

• Imiba yolwimi
• Kutheni le nto abantu becinga ngokuzibulala?
• Ndingazi njani ukuba umntu ucinga ngokuzibulala?
• Ngaba kubi ukubuza umntu ukuba uziva efuna ukuzibulala?
• Ungakukhulisa njani ukuzibulala
• Ndazi njani ukuba abajongi nje ingqalelo?
• Ngaba unokutshintsha ngokwenyani ingqondo yomntu?
• Ndingazifumana phi ezinye izixhobo?

Kunokuba nzima ukucinga ngokuzibulala-kungasathethwa ke ngako. Abantu abaninzi bayawoyika lo mbandela, bawufumanisa usoyikisa, kwaye kunzima nokuwuqonda. Kwaye ukuzibulala ngokuqinisekileyo unako kube nzima ukuyiqonda, kuba akusoloko kucacile ukuba kutheni umntu esenza olu khetho.

Kodwa ngokubanzi, ukuzibulala akusoloko kusisenzo esingxamisekileyo. Kubantu abakuqwalaselayo, kunokubonakala njengesona sisombululo sisengqiqweni.

Imiba yolwimi

Ukuzibulala kuyathintelwa, kodwa ukuthintela, kufuneka sithethe ngako-kwaye indlela esithetha ngayo ibalulekile.

Oku kuqala ngegama elithi "ukuzibulala." Abameli bezempilo yengqondo kunye nezinye iingcali ukuba la magama anegalelo kubukuko nakwoloyiko kwaye anokuthintela abantu ekufuneni uncedo xa beludinga. Abantu "benza" ulwaphulo-mthetho, kodwa ukuzibulala akulolwaphulo-mthetho. Amagqwetha acebisa ukuba "ufe ngokuzibulala" njengendlela ebhetele, enovelwano ngakumbi.

Qhubeka ufunda ukuze ufunde ngakumbi ngezinye zezinto ezinzima ezifaka isandla ekuzibulaleni. Siza kubonelela ngesikhokelo sendlela yokunceda umntu onokuthi acinge ngokuzibulala.

Kutheni le nto abantu becinga ngokuzibulala?

Ukuba awuzange ucinge ngokuthatha ubomi bakho, usenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umntu enokucinga ngokufa ngolu hlobo.

Iingcali aziqondi ngokupheleleyo ukuba kutheni abanye abantu besenza kwaye abanye bengazi, nangona uluhlu lwemiba yezempilo yengqondo kunye neemeko zobomi zinokudlala indima.

Ezi nkxalabo zilandelayo zempilo yengqondo zinokunyusa umngcipheko womntu wokuba neengcinga zokuzibulala:

• ukudakumba
• ngengqondo
• Ukuphazamiseka kokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi
• ukuxhuzula
• Uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo

Ngelixa ayinguye wonke umntu ohlangabezana nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo eya kuthi azame okanye athathele ingqalelo ukuzibulala, iintlungu ezinzulu zeemvakalelo zihlala zidlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuziphatheni ngokuzibulala kunye nomngcipheko wokuzibulala.

Kodwa ezinye izinto zinokuba negalelo ekuzibulaleni, kubandakanya:

• Ukwahlukana okanye ukulahleka komnye obalulekileyo
• Ukuphulukana nomntwana okanye umhlobo osenyongweni
• uxinzelelo lwezezimali
• iimvakalelo ezingapheliyo zokusilela okanye iintloni
• imeko yonyango okanye isifo esinganyangekiyo
• inkathazo yezomthetho, njengokufunyanwa unetyala
• amava amabi ebuntwaneni, njengoxinzelelo, ukuxhatshazwa, okanye ukuxhatshazwa
• ucalucalulo, ubuhlanga, okanye eminye imiceli mngeni enxulumene nokuba ngumphambukeli okanye ubambalwa
• ukuba nesazisi ngokwesini okanye ulwalamano ngokwesondo olungaxhaswa lusapho okanye abahlobo

Ukujongana nolunye uhlobo loxinzelelo ngamanye amaxesha kunokunyusa umngcipheko wokuzibulala. Umzekelo, umntu ojongana noxinzelelo, ubunzima bezezimali ngenxa yokuphulukana nomsebenzi, kunye nengxaki yezomthetho angaba semngciphekweni wokuzibulala ophakame ngakumbi kunomntu ojongana nenye yezi zinto zixhalabisayo.

Ndingazi njani ukuba umntu ucinga ngokuzibulala?

Akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukuxelela ukuba umntu ucinga ngokuzibulala. Iingcali ziyavuma ukuba uninzi lweempawu ezilumkisayo zinokucebisa ukuba umntu angazibulala engqondweni yakhe, kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu obonisa le miqondiso.

Kukwabalulekile ukugcina engqondweni ukuba ukucinga ngokuzibulala akukhokeleli ngokuzenzekelayo kwilinge. Ngaphezulu, ezi "mpawu zilumkisayo" azisoloko zithetha ukuba umntu ucinga ngokuzibulala.

Oko bekutshiwo, ukuba uyazi umntu obonisa nayiphi na le miqondiso ilandelayo, kungcono ukubakhuthaza ukuba bathethe nonyango okanye enye ingcali yezempilo ngokukhawuleza.

Le miqondiso ibandakanya:

• uthetha ngokufa okanye ubundlobongela
• uthetha ngokufa okanye ukufuna ukufa
• ukufikelela kwizixhobo okanye izinto ezinokusetyenziselwa ukuzibulala, ezinje ngamanani amakhulu ezinto ezithengiswayo okanye amayeza kagqirha
• utshintsho olukhawulezileyo kwiimvakalelo
• ukuthetha ngokuziva ubanjisiwe, ungenathemba, ungaxabisekanga, okanye ngokungathi bathwalisa abanye uxanduva
• Ukuziphatha okungxamisekileyo okanye okuyingozi, kubandakanya nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, ukuqhuba ngokungakhathali, okanye ukuziqhelanisa nemidlalo engalawulekiyo
• Ukurhoxa kubahlobo, kusapho, okanye kwezoluntu
• ukulala kakhulu okanye ngaphantsi kunesiqhelo
• uxinzelelo olugqithisileyo okanye ukuphazamiseka
• imeko ezolileyo okanye ethuleyo, ngakumbi emva kokucaphuka okanye isimilo

Nokuba abacingi ngokuzibulala, le miqondiso isenokubonisa ukuba kukho into enzima eyenzekayo.

Ngelixa kubalulekile ukujonga wonke umfanekiso kwaye ungacingi ukuba le miqondiso ihlala ibonisa ukuzibulala, kukwangcono ukuthatha le miqondiso ngokungathí sina. Ukuba umntu othile ubonakalisa iimpawu okanye iimpawu, jonga kubo uze ubuze ukuba baziva njani.

Ngaba kubi ukubuza umntu ukuba uziva efuna ukuzibulala?

Unganexhala lokuba ukubuza umntu omthandayo ngokuzibulala kungonyusa amathuba okuba bazame, okanye ukuba ukuzisa ngesihloko kuya kubeka umbono entlokweni yabo.

Le ntsomi iqhelekile, kodwa injalo nje - intsomi.

Ngapha koko, uphando luka-2014 lubonisa ukuba kunokuba nefuthe elichaseneyo.

Ukuthetha ngokuzibulala kunokunceda ukunciphisa iingcinga zokuzibulala kwaye kunokuba nefuthe elihle kwimpilo yengqondo ngokubanzi. Kwaye, kuba abantu abacinga ngokuzibulala bahlala beziva bebodwa, ukubuza ngokuzibulala kunokubazisa ukuba ukhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukuba ubanike inkxaso okanye ubancede bafikelele kukhathalelo lobungcali.

Kubalulekile, nangona kunjalo, ukubuza ngendlela eluncedo. Yiba ngqo - kwaye ungoyiki ukusebenzisa igama elithi "ukuzibulala."

Ungakukhulisa njani ukuzibulala

• Buza ukuba baziva njani. Umzekelo, "Ngaba ucinga ngokuzibulala?" "Ukhe wacinga ngokuzenzakalisa ngaphambili?" "Unazo izixhobo okanye icebo?"
• Baphulaphule ngokwenene oko bakuthethayo. Nokuba le nto bajamelana nayo ayibonakali iyinkxalabo enkulu kuwe, yamkele ngokungqinisisa iimvakalelo zabo kwaye ubabonise uvelwano nenkxaso.
• Baxelele ukuba uyakhathala kwaye ubakhuthaze ukuba bafumane uncedo. “Le nto uyivayo ivakala ibuhlungu kwaye inzima. Ndinexhala ngawe, kuba ubaluleke kakhulu kum. Ndingakubizela i-Therapist yakho okanye ndikuncede ukhangele enye? ”

Ndazi njani ukuba abajongi nje ingqalelo?

Abanye abantu banokujonga ukuthetha ngokuzibulala njengenye into ngaphandle kokucela ingqalelo. Kodwa abantu abacinga ngokuzibulala bahlala becinga ngako kangangexesha elithile. Ezi ngcinga zivela kwindawo yeentlungu ezinzulu kwaye kubalulekile ukuthatha iimvakalelo zabo ngokungathí sina.

Abanye banokucinga ukuba ukuzibulala sisenzo sokuzingca. Kwaye kuyaqondakala ukuziva ngale ndlela, ngakumbi ukuba uphulukene nomntu omthandayo ngokuzibulala. Bangayenza njani le nto, besazi ukuba iintlungu zingakubangela?

Kodwa le ngcamango ayiyonyani, kwaye iyabanyanzela abantu abacinga ngokuzibulala ngokunciphisa iintlungu zabo. Le ntlungu ekugqibeleni inokuba nzima kakhulu ukujamelana nokucinga ngenye imini ngakumbi kubonakala kunganyamezeleki.

Abantu abafika kukhetho lokuzibulala banokuziva bengumthwalo kwabo babathandayo. Emehlweni abo, ukuzibulala kunokuvakala njengesenzo sokungazingci esiya kuthintela abo babathandayo ekubeni bajongane nabo.

Ekupheleni kosuku, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge umbono womntu osokolayo.

Umnqweno wokuphila ngowabantu kakhulu - kodwa kunjalo nangomnqweno wokumisa iintlungu. Umntu othile angabona ukuzibulala njengokuphela kwendlela yokwenza ukuba iintlungu ziyeke, nangona banokuchitha ixesha elininzi bebuza ngesigqibo sabo, bekhathazekile nangenxa yentlungu abanye abaya kuyiva.

Ngaba unokutshintsha ngokwenyani ingqondo yomntu?

Awunakho ukulawula iingcinga kunye nezenzo zomnye umntu, kodwa amazwi nezenzo zakho zinamandla ngaphezu kokuba ucinga.

Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntu omaziyo usemngciphekweni wokuzibulala, kungcono ukuthatha inyathelo kwaye unike uncedo olungafunekiyo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokungalunganga kwaye ungenzi nto xa efuna uncedo lokwenyani.

Nazi ezinye zeendlela onokunceda ngazo:

• Thatha iimpawu zesilumkiso okanye izoyikiso zokuzibulala. Ukuba bathetha nantoni na ekukhathazayo, thetha nomntu omthembileyo, njengomhlobo okanye ilungu losapho. Emva koko funa uncedo. Bakhuthaze ukuba batsalele umnxeba kwindawo yokuzibulala. Ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba ubomi babo busengozini kwangoko, tsalela umnxeba ku-911. Ukuba ubandakanya amapolisa, hlala nomntu ngalo lonke ixesha lokuhlangana ukuze uncede ugcine umoya wokuzola.
• Gcina isigwebo. Lumka ungathethi nantoni na enokubonakala ngathi iyakugweba okanye iyala. Ukubonisa ukothuka okanye ukungazithembi okungenanto, njengokuthi "uya kuphila," kunokubangela ukuba bavale nje. Zama ukubuza endaweni yoko ukuba yintoni ebangela iimvakalelo zabo zokuzibulala okanye indlela onokwazi ngayo ukunceda.
• Nika inkxaso ukuba unako. Baxelele ukuba uyafumaneka ukuze uthethe, kodwa yazi imida yakho. Ukuba awucingi ukuba ungaphendula ngendlela eluncedo, sukuzishiya zodwa. Fumana umntu onokuhlala nabo athethe, njengomnye umhlobo okanye ilungu losapho, ugqirha, utitshala othenjiweyo, okanye umntu oxhasa oontanga.
• Baqinisekise. Bakhumbuze ngexabiso labo kwaye uchaze uluvo lwakho lokuba izinto ziya kuphucula, kodwa gxininisa ukubaluleka kokufuna uncedo lobungcali.
• Susa izinto ezinokuba yingozi. Ukuba banokufikelela kwizixhobo, amayeza, okanye ezinye izinto abanokuzisebenzisa ukuzama ukuzibulala okanye ukugqithisa, thatha ezi zinto ukuba unako.

Ndingazifumana phi ezinye izixhobo?

Usenokuziva ungaxhobanga ukunceda umntu osengxakini njengoko ungathanda, kodwa ngaphaya kokumamela, awunyanzelekanga (kwaye akufuneki) uzame ukubanceda ngokwakho. Bafuna inkxaso engxamisekileyo evela kwingcali eqeqeshiweyo.

Ezi zixhobo zinokukunceda ufumane inkxaso kwaye ufunde ngamanyathelo alandelayo omntu osengxakini:

• Inqanaba lesizwe lokuthintela ukuzibulala: 1-800-273-8255
• Umgca wombhalo weCrisis: Umbhalo othi "IKHAYA" ukuya ku-741741 (686868 eCanada, 85258 e-UK)
• I-Trevor Lifeline (ezinikele ekuncedeni ulutsha lwe-LGBTQ + kwintlekele): 1-866-488-7386 (okanye ubhalele uQALA ku-678678)
• I-Trans Lifeline (inkxaso yoontanga ye-transgender kunye nabantu abanemibuzo): 1-877-330-6366 (1-877-330-6366 kubafowunelwa baseCanada)
• Umgca weCrisis of Crans Veterans: 1-800-273-8255 kwaye cinezela 1 (okanye umyalezo 838255)

Ukuba uneengcinga zokuzibulala kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba ngubani omxelele, fowunela okanye uthumele umyalezo ngefowuni kumnxeba wokuzibulala ngoko nangoko. Uninzi lwee-hotline zibonelela ngenkxaso iiyure ezingama-24 ngosuku, iintsuku ezisi-7 ngeveki. Abacebisi abaqeqeshiweyo baya kumamela ngovelwano kwaye banike isikhokelo ngezixhobo eziluncedo ezikufutshane nawe.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.