Kutheni le nto ukulahleka kweenwele zam kundoyikisa ngaphezu komhlaza webele

Umxholo

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Ukufunyaniswa ukuba unomhlaza wamabele ngamava angaqhelekanga. Ngomzuzwana omnye, uziva ulungile-ulungile, nokuba-kwaye ufumane iqhuma. Igaqa alibi buhlungu. Ayikukhathazi. Bafaka inaliti kuwe, kwaye ulinde iveki ukufumana iziphumo. Uze ufumanise ukuba ngumhlaza. Awuhlali phantsi kwelitye, ngoko uyazi ukuba le nto ingaphakathi kuwe ingakubulala. Uyayazi into ezayo. Elona themba lakho lokusinda liza kuba lolu nyango-lonyango, ichemotherapy- eza kusindisa ubomi bakho kodwa ikwenze uzive umbi kakhulu kunangaphambili. Ukuva ukuba unomdlavuza yenye yezinto ezoyikisayo, kodwa mhlawumbi kungengenxa yezizathu ocinga ngazo.

Ndifundile ngophononongo olubanzi lwezinto ezidlula ezingqondweni zabafazi xa befumana iindaba zokuba banomhlaza wamabele. Uloyiko lwabo lwenani elinye kukulahleka kweenwele. Ukoyika ukufa kuza kwindawo yesibini.

Xa ndafunyaniswa ndineminyaka eyi-29, emva ngo-Septemba ka-2012, umhlaba wokubhloga wawunjengasendle, eNtshona yasendle. Ndineblog encinci yomntwana. Ndasebenzisa loo bhlog ukuxelela wonke umntu ukuba ndinomhlaza kwaye, ngokufutshane, iblogi yam yefashoni yaba yibhlog yomhlaza.

Ndabhala malunga nomzuzu endaxelelwa ngawo ukuba yi-CANCER kunye nenyaniso yokuba ingcinga yam yokuqala yayiyiyo Oo, shit, nceda hayi, andifuni kulahlekelwa zinwele zam. Ndenza ngathi ndicinga ngokusinda ngelixa ndizifihla ngokwam ndilala ubusuku ngabunye ngeenwele zam.

Ndijonge uGoogle ubuqhophololo bomhlaza wamabele, kodwa nokulahleka kweenwele kwi-chemo. Ngaba ikho into endinokuyenza? Ngaba yayikhona indlela yokugcina iinwele zam? Inoba bendiziphazamisa nje ngento elawulekayo, kuba ukucinga ngokufa kwakho akunjalo. Kodwa khange ivakale njalo. Yonke into endiyikhathaleleyo ngokunyanisekileyo yayizinwele zam.

Into endiyifumene kwi-intanethi yayisoyikeka. Imifanekiso yabasetyhini bekhala ngeenwele zezandla, imiyalelo malunga nendlela yokubopha i-headscarf kwintyatyambo. Ngaba ikhona into eyakha yakhwaza "ndinomhlaza" ngaphezulu kunesihlangu esasibotshelelwe kwintyatyambo? Iinwele zam ezinde (kunye nobuncinci besifuba sam) zaziza kuba zihambile-kwaye, ngokusekwe kwimifanekiso ekwi-intanethi, ndiza kujonga kakubi.

Ndizipholise ngewigi entle. Yayingqindilili kwaye inde kwaye ithe nkqo. Ubungcono kuneenwele zam ezi-wavy zendalo kunye neenwele ezincinci. Kwakuyizinwele endandisoloko ndiziphupha ngazo, kwaye ndandonwabile ngenxa yesizathu sokuyinxiba, okanye ubuncinci ndenze umsebenzi olungileyo ndiqinisekile ukuba ndinguye.

Kodwa, umntu wenza izicwangciso, kwaye uThixo uyahleka. Ndaqala i-chemo kwaye ndafumana imeko eyoyikisayo ye-folliculitis. Iinwele zam zaziza kuwa rhoqo emva kweeveki ezintathu, emva koko zikhule zibuye ziphume kwakhona. Intloko yam ibinovakalelo, bendingakwazi nokunxiba isikhafu, ndingasathethi ke ngewigi. Okubi nangakumbi, ulusu lwam lwalukhangeleka ngathi lolwentsana ebendijonge ebusweni endakha ndangulo. Ngandlela thile, ikwazile ukuba yome ngokumangalisayo kwaye mibimbi, kwaye iibhegi ezinzima ziye zahluma phantsi kwamehlo am ubusuku bonke. Ugqirha wam wandixelela ukuba i-chemo inokuhlasela i-collagen; Ukuyeka ukuya exesheni okungeyonyani endandikufumana kwakunokubangela "iimpawu zokuguga." I-chemo idilize imetabolism yam, ngelixa indoyikisa ngokutya kwe-carbs emhlophe-yonke inkqubo yam yokwetyisa ebuthathaka inokuyiphatha. I-steroids yandenza ndakhukhumala, yongeza i-cystic acne kumxube, kwaye, njengebhonasi yokuzonwabisa, yandenza ukuba ndibe nomsindo omkhulu ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngaphezu koko, ndandidibana noogqirha botyando ndisenza amacebo okucheba amabele am. Umhlaza webele wawudiliza nantoni na nayo yonke into eyakha yandenza ndaziva ndishushu okanye ndithandeka.

Ndenze ibhodi yePinterest (i-baldspiration) kwaye ndaqala ukunxiba Amehlo ekati kunye nelipstick ebomvu. Xa ndandihamba ndisiya esidlangalaleni (nanini na xa amajoni am omzimba evuma), ndandihlazisa into endiyenzileyo kwaye ndinxibe izacholo zomqala (yayingu-2013!). Ndandifana noAmber Rose.

Emva koko ndiye ndaqonda ukuba kutheni kungekho mntu wakhe wathetha ngayo yonke le nto yobuhle / yomhlaza. Kwakungenxa yale mpendulo ndandisoloko ndiyifumana: "Wow, Dena, ukhangeleka umangalisa. Ukhangeleka kakuhle unentloko enempandla ... Kodwa, andikholelwa ukuba uyenza yonke le nto. Andikholelwa ukuba uyakhathala. kakhulu malunga nendlela okhangeleka ngayo xa usilwa nobomi bakho. "

Ndandineentloni (nangona zazingendlela yokuncoma) ngokuzama ukubonakala ulungile. Ukuzama ukuba mhle, ukuba ngowasetyhini, yinto abanye abantu kuluntu lwethu ababonakala bengayikhuthazi. Ungandikholelwa? Jonga iitroll zokwenza izithambiso ezihlukumeza iibhlog zobuhle kwiYouTube nakwi-Instagram ngoku.

Ewe, ndiyakhathala ngendlela endijongeka ngayo. Kuthathe ixesha elide kunye nomhlaza ukuba ndikwazi ukuyivuma ngokuvulekileyo. Ndifuna abanye abantu-umyeni wam, abahlobo bam, amakhwenkwe endandithandana nawo, abasemzini-bacinga ukuba ndimhle. Ndisikelelekile ngaphambi komhlaza ngezinto ezimbalwa ezandincedayo ukuba ndenze ngathi andikhathali ngenkangeleko ngaxeshanye kwaye ndizivelela ngasese ngeendlela ebendinomtsalane ngazo ngokwesiqhelo. Ndingazenza ngathi andizami kangako.

Ukuba nenkqayi yatshintsha yonke loo nto. Ngaphandle kweenwele zam, kwaye ngelixa "ndisilwa nobomi bam," nayiphi na imizamo yokuthambisa okanye ukunxiba ngokucacileyo yathetha ngale yoyikisayo "ukuzama." Kwakungekho buhle bungenamsebenzi. Yonke into yayifuna umgudu. Ukwehla ebhedini ukuze ndihlambe amazinyo kwakufuna umgudu. Ukutya ngaphandle kokuphosa kwathatha umgudu. Ngokuqinisekileyo ukubeka i-cat-eye egqibeleleyo kunye ne-lipstick ebomvu kuthatha umzamo omkhulu, umzamo wobuqhawe.

Ngamanye amaxesha, xa ndandikho kwi-chemo, ukubeka i-eyeliner kunye nokuthatha i-selfie yinto yonke endiyifezekisileyo ngosuku olunye. Esi senzo sincinci sandenza ndaziva ngathi ndingumntu hayi isitya seseli kunye netyhefu. Yandigcina ndiqhagamshelene nehlabathi langaphandle ngelixa bendihlala kwi-immune system-exile bubble. Indidibanise nabanye abantu basetyhini abajamelene nento efanayo-abasetyhini abathi aboyiki kangako ngenxa yendlela endilubhale ngayo uhambo lwam.Indinike injongo ekhuthazayo.

Abantu abanomhlaza bandibulela ngokubhala malunga nokhathalelo lolusu kwaye ndinxibe umlomo obomvu kwaye ndithatha phantse yonke imihla imifanekiso yokukhulisa iinwele zam. Ndandinganyangi umhlaza, kodwa ndandisenza abantu abanomhlaza bazive bengcono, kwaye loo nto yandenza ndaziva ngathi mhlawumbi kukho isizathu sokuba yonke le nto iyenzeka kum.

Ngoko ndabelana-ngokunokwenzeka ukuba ndabelana ngokugqithisileyo. Ndifundile ukuba xa amashiya akho ewa, kukho iipensile zokuba uphinde ubuye kwakhona. Ndifunde ukuba akukho mntu uqaphelayo ukuba awunazinkophe ukuba unxibe i-swoop entle ye-eyeliner elulwelo. Ndifunde ezona zixhobo zisebenzayo ukunyanga amabala kunye nolusu oluguga. Ndinezandiso, emva koko ndakopa into eyenziwa nguCharlize Theron xa wayekhulisa iinwele zakhe emva kukaMad Max.

Iinwele zam zisemagxeni ngoku. Ithamsanqa lindibeke kwisantya ngayo yonke le nto ye-lob, kangangokuba iinwele zam ngandlela thile zinomlingo kwindlela. Inkqubo yam yokunyamekela ulusu iqinile. Amashiya am kunye neelesi zikhulile. Ngoku ndibhala oku, ndiyachacha kwi-mastectomy kwaye ndinamabele amabini ahlukeneyo kunye nengono enye. Ndisabonisa i-cleavage eninzi.

Umhlobo wam osenyongweni wakha wandixelela ukuba ukufumana umhlaza kwakuza kuphelela ekubeni yeyona nto intle kakhulu nembi eyakha yenzeka kum. Wayenyanisile. Umhlaba wonke wavuleka kum xa ndandinomhlaza. Umbulelo uqhakaze ngaphakathi kwam njengentyatyambo. Ndifumana ukukhuthaza abantu ukuba bafune ubuhle babo. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba iinwele ezinde, ulusu olugudileyo, kunye nee-boobs ezinkulu (ezilinganayo) zishushu. Ndisabafuna. Ndiyazazi ngoku ukuba andizidingi.

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