Nika Uxolo Ithuba: oonobangela boSuku lokuSangana kunye nezisombululo

Umxholo

• Yintoni ubutshaba bomntakwenu?
• Yintoni ebangela usukuzwano lomntakwenu?
• Imizekelo yokhuphiswano lwabantakwenu
• Uyiphatha njani imilo
• Ukuququzelela ukuvumelana
• Ukufundwa okucetyiswayo
• Ukuthatha

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Ukuba uthenga into ngekhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Isebenza njani le nto.

Wonke umzali wabantwana abangaphezu komnye uphupha kakhulu xa kufikwa kumba wokukhulisa abantwana basekhaya: Siba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wabantwana bethu besabelana ngempahla kunye nezinto zokudlala, benxibe iimpahla ezifanayo kwiifoto zeholide, kwaye bekhuselana nxamnye nabaxhaphazi kwibala lokudlala. Ngokusisiseko, silindele ukuba babe zii-BFFs zokoqobo.

Inyani yile, nangona: xa ukhulisa abantwana ababini nangaphezulu, ujongana nobuntu obahlukileyo kunye nobushushu. Kuya kubakho ukhuphiswano. Kuya kubakho umona kunye nenzondo. Kuza kubakho imilo, kwaye abanye baya kubakho kakhulu.

Ke unokwenza ntoni, njengomzali, ukuhlwayela imbewu yoxolo? Nantsi yonke into ekufuneka uyazi malunga nemithombo yokhuphiswano lwabantakwenu- kwaye ungabanceda njani abantwana bakho baziphathe ngakumbi njengabahlobo kwaye bangaphantsi njengeentshaba ezifayo.

Yintoni ubutshaba bomntakwenu?

Imbangi yomntakwabo ichaza ukungqubana okuqhubekayo phakathi kwabantwana abakhulele kusapho olunye. Inokwenzeka phakathi kwabantakwenu abanxulumene negazi, abantakwenu, kunye nokubamkelwa okanye ukubakhulisa. Inokuthatha le ndlela:

• ukulwa ngomlomo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni
• ukubiza igama
• ukukrokra kunye nokuphikisana
• kukusoloko ukhuphiswano lokuqwalaselwa ngumzali
• Ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zomona

Luxinzelelo kumama okanye kutata, kodwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ngokupheleleyo - sikucela umngeni ekufumaneni umzali emhlabeni ongakhange ajongane nalo!

Yintoni ebangela usukuzwano lomntakwenu?

Masithembeke: Ngamanye amaxesha uziva ngathi ukhetha umlo neqabane lakho okanye iqabane, akunjalo? Ewe uyakwenza! Uhlala nabo 24/7. Iibhondi zentsapho ezidibeneyo ziyinto enhle, kodwa ziyakwazi nokuzala inani eliqhelekileyo lokucaphukisa.

Kwenzeka into efanayo phakathi kwabantakwenu, kwaye ngenxa yokuba ujongana nokukhula kwabantu abancinci, ezo zinto zinokucaphukiswa zinokudityaniswa zezinye izinto ezimbalwa:

• Utshintsho olukhulu kubomi. Ngaba ufudukela kwikhaya elitsha? Ngaba ulindele umntwana omtsha? Ukuqhawula umtshato? Ezi ziganeko zixinzelela abazali nabantwana ngokufanayo, kwaye uninzi lwabantwana luthatha uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lwabo kwindawo ekujolise kuyo (okt, udade wabo omncinci).
• Amaxesha kunye nezigaba. Ngaba wakha wambukela umntwana omncinci ebeka phantsi umntwana wabo ohluphekileyo, ongalindelanga? Kukho amanqanaba athile ophuhliso xa usukuzwano lwabantakwenu lubi kakhulu, njengaxa bobabini abantwana bengaphantsi kweminyaka emi-4 okanye kukho izithuba ezinkulu kakhulu okanye ezincinci phakathi kwabantakwabo.
• Umona. Umntwana wakho oneminyaka emi-3 uzobe umfanekiso omhle okhathalelo lwemini kwaye wabancoma ngayo… kwaye ngoku umntakwabo omdala usongela ukuyiqhawula. Ngoba? Baziva benomona ngendumiso.
• Umntu ngamnye. Abantwana banotyekelo lwendalo lokuzihlukanisa, kubandakanya nabantakwabo. Oku kunokubangela ukhuphiswano ukubona ukuba ngubani onokwakha inqaba ende, abaleke imoto ekhawulezayo, okanye atye eyona waffles. Ingabonakala ilula kuwe, kodwa iziva ibaluleke kakhulu kubo.
• Ukunqongophala kwezakhono zokusombulula ungquzulwano. Ukuba abantwana bakho bahlala bekubona wena neqabane lakho nisilwa ngeendlela ezingxolayo okanye ezinobundlongondlongo, banokuba yimodeli yokuziphatha kwakho. Ngokwenyani banokungayazi enye indlela yokusombulula ukungqubana kwabo.
• Izinto eziguqukayo kusapho. Ukuba umntwana omnye unesifo esinganyangekiyo okanye uneemfuno ezizodwa, uphathwe ngokwahlukileyo ngenxa yomyalelo wokuzalwa, okanye uneendlela zokuziphatha ezimbi eziqinisiweyo, inokuphosa indlela wonk 'ubani osapho onxibelelana ngayo nabaphathana ngayo.

Phambi kokuba uqale uzisole ngalo lonke ukhetho lobomi olwenzileyo olubangele ukuba abantwana bakho bazondane mihla le, thatha umoya. Abantakwenu bazokulwa, ngaphandle kongenelelo lwakho.

Ukhetho lwakho lunokuba negalelo okanye lide libe mandundu kwimbambano ekhoyo yomntakwenu, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba khange ubangele ngokuthe ngqo ukuba abantwana bakho bakhuphisane. Kwaye, nokuba wenza ntoni, ngekhe uyeke ngokupheleleyo.

Oko kwathiwa, apho are Iindlela zokuziphatha zabazali ezinokunyusa usukuzwano lwabantakwabo. Ukuba wenza oku kulandelayo (nokuba ungazi), unokuba ubeka ngokwakho-kunye nabantwana bakho-up for a lot angst:

• hlala uncoma omnye umntwana kwaye ugxeke omnye
• gxotha abantwana bakho kukhuphiswano
• Yabela iindima ezithile zosapho ("UJulia ngulo ubalaseleyo kwimathematika, kwaye uBenjamin ngumculi.")
• Cacisa ngakumbi iimfuno kunye nomdla womntwana omnye

Imizekelo yokhuphiswano lwabantakwenu

Ngaba imbonakalo yomntakwenu ijongeka kanjani? Nazi iindlela ezimbalwa ezinokuthi zenzeke ekhayeni lakho.

1. Unyana wakho oneminyaka emi-3 "ngempazamo" uhleli kumntakwabo oneenyanga ezi-2 xa elele emethini yokudlala. Xa ubuza unyana wakho omdala ukuba kwenzeke ntoni, uthi, "Andimthandi umntwana! Andisafuni ukuba aphile apha kwakhona. ”
2. Umzuzu omnye, iintombi zakho ezineminyaka emi-5 neli-7 ubudala zidlala ngovuyo noololiwe bazo, kwaye ngomzuzu olandelayo bayakhwaza malunga nokuba ngubani oza kutyhala uloliwe oluhlaza ojikeleze umzila. Ngexesha ufika kwigumbi labo lokulala, bayakhala kwaye bayala ukudlala nabanye.
3. Emva kwesidlo sangokuhlwa, abantwana bakho abathathu (abaneminyaka emi-6, 9, no-11) baqala ukuphikisana malunga nomboniso wokubukela umabonwakude ngaphambi kokuba ulale. Akukho mvumelwano; Umntwana ngamnye ucinga ukuba ukhetho lwabo kufuneka "luphumelele."

Uyiphatha njani imilo

NgokukaNemours, xa kuqhambuka umlo phakathi kwabantwana bakho, kuya kufuneka uzame ukuphuma kuwo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Abantwana bakho abayi kufunda indlela yokuxoxisana neengxabano zabo ukuba uhlala uphazamisa kwaye udlala uxolo.

Kwangelo xesha, abantwana bakho baya kufunda kuphela indlela yokusombulula ukungaboni ngasonye xa bebona ukusombulula ukungavisisani kusenzeka (okt, bayakufunda kuwe), kwaye abanye abantwana bancinci kakhulu ukuba bangahamba ngayo. Nantsi indlela yokwenza isisombululo sempixano kwimizekelo enikezwe kwicandelo elidlulileyo.

1. Gcina izinto zilula. Mhlawumbi uthi, "Umntakwenu uyinxalenye yosapho lwethu, kwaye kufuneka sibakhathalele abantu bosapho lwethu." Susa umntwana wakho omdala (okanye umntwana wakho) kwigumbi de umntwana wakho oneminyaka emithathu azolile. Emva kwexesha, unokufuna ukuthomalalisa ukungazithembi konyana wakho omdala ngokumnika ingqwalaselo yomntu ngamnye okanye ukumkhuthaza ukuba athethe ngazo zonke izinto ezimnandi anqwenela ukuzenza nomntakwabo xa sele ekhula.
2. Ngesizathu esithile, uloliwe oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka uthathwa ngokuba "ungcono," kodwa ayinakuba kwiindawo ezimbini ngaxeshanye. Iintombi zakho zinokhetho: Banokwabelana ngololiwe oluhlaza okanye balahlekelwe. Ngenisa ngokuzolileyo olu khetho, kwaye bayeke bathathe isigqibo. Ukuba umlo uyaqhubeka, thatha nje uloliwe oluhlaza. Ukuba beza kwisigqibo esithandabuzekayo, bakhumbuze ukuba nayiphi na imfazwe eqhubekayo iya kubangela konke Oololiwe abathatha “ixesha lokuphuma.”
3. Kule minyaka, abantwana bakho banokuthatha inxaxheba kwisisombululo esivelisa isisombululo sengxabano. Mhlawumbi uthi, “Kubonakala ngathi aninakuvumelana ngento eniza kuyibukela. Kufuneka Mna khetha into? ” Xa beqhankqalaza, banike ithuba lokuba bazisebenzele ngokwabo (okt, ukwahlula ixesha leTV phakathi kokukhetha okanye ukwabela umntu ngamnye "ubusuku obukhethiweyo beTV"). Akukho sivumelwano soxolo kwimizuzu emi-5 asithethi ukuba akukho TV, ixesha.

Umtya oqhelekileyo kwezi meko kukuba wena, njengomzali, uthatha inxaxheba yomcebisi wecala, hayi ebaleni losompempe. Xa ukhuthaza ukusonjululwa kwengxabano phakathi kwabantwana bakho, kubalulekile ukuba:

• kuthintele ukuthatha icala-ngaphandle kokuba ubone omnye umntwana esonzakalisa omnye ngaphandle komsindo, wonke umntu obandakanyekayo kulo mlo uthatha ezinye isabelo sobutyala
• khuthaza isisombululo esiluncedo kuye wonke umntu, nokuba kubandakanya ulungelelwaniso
• usete imida, ungabizi magama okanye uqhakamshelane nomzimba ("Ungatsho ukuba uphambene, kodwa awukwazi ukubetha udade wakho.")
• fundisa uvelwano, ukhuthaze abantwana bakho ukuba bazibeke ezihlangwini zabantakwabo ("Uyakhumbula xa uPatrick engazange abelane nawe ngencwadi yakhe yemibala izolo? Uziva njani?")
• thintela ukudlala ukuthanda, njengoko abantwana beya kuqaphela ukuba uhlala usana lwakho omncinci okanye ukholelwa ingxelo yomntwana wakho omdala webali

Ukuququzelela ukuvumelana

Khumbula, mhlawumbi awuzange unobangela Ukubangisana kwabantakwenu phakathi kwabantwana bakho - kodwa unokuba ngokungathandabuzekiyo uyenza mandundu. Ngombulelo, kukho iindlela ezimbalwa ezilula zokukhuthaza ubudlelwane ngakumbi endlwini yakho.

Awungekhe uyeke ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ukuphumeza ezi ndlela zokuba ngumzali kunokunciphisa ukuba abantwana bakho balwa kangaphi.

• Ulibale into oyaziyo malunga "nokungakhethi buso." Ukuba bonke abantwana bahlukile, ke wena mzali bonke abantwana kufuneka bahluke njani, nabo. Omnye umntwana unokufuna uhlobo olwahlukileyo lokuhoywa, uxanduva kunye noqeqesho ukuze aphumelele kunomnye.
• Zibeke phambili ngexesha elinye. Yonke imihla, zama ukuchitha imizuzu embalwa ukukhangela umntwana wakho ngamnye. Emva koko, ngeveki okanye ngenyanga, zama ukuchitha "ixesha elilodwa" nisenza into oyithandayo kunye.
• Ukukhuthaza inkcubeko yeqela kusapho lwakho. Xa abazali kunye nabantakwabo besebenza njengeqela elisebenza kwiinjongo ezifanayo, amalungu athambekele ekuhlaleni ngcono kwaye angakhuphisani kangako.
• Nika wonke umntu indawo. Ukuba abantwana bakho babelana kwigumbi lokulala, khetha indawo yendlu apho banokuhlala khona ukuze baphumle omnye komnye.
• Yazisa iintlanganiso zosapho. Eli lithuba elihle kuwo onke amalungu osapho ukuba avakalise izikhalazo, anike izisombululo, kwaye asebenze ngeengxabano kude nobushushu bomzuzwana.

Ukufundwa okucetyiswayo

Ngaba ufuna ukufunda ngakumbi malunga nokubambana kwabantakwenu? Thenga ezi ncwadi kwi-intanethi:

• "Abantakwenu Ngaphandle Kokulwa: Indlela Yokunceda Abantwana Bakho Bahlalisane Ukuze Niphile Nawe" ngu-Adele Faber no-Elaine Mazlish. Ikwabelana ngeengcebiso ezisebenzayo zokunciphisa inani lempixano ekhayeni lakho kunye nokuxabisa iitalente kunye nobuntu bomntwana ngamnye.
• "Mzali onoxolo, Abantakwenu abonwabileyo: Ungamisa njani uMlo kwaye ukhulise abahlobo ngobomi" nguGqirha Laura Markham. Yazisa ngeendlela zokungaxhasi kuphela ubuhlobo babantakwabo kodwa ikwaxhasa iimfuno zabantwana ngabanye.
• "Ngaphandle kwembambano yabantakwenu: Indlela yokunceda abantwana baKho ukuba basebenzisane, bakhathalelane kwaye babe nemfesane" nguGqirha Peter Goldenthal. Abantakwenu bomntwana wakho ngoontanga babo bokuqala- ukufunda indlela yokusombulula ukungavisisani ekhaya kunceda abantwana babe nezakhono zokujongana ngcono ngaphandle kwekhaya, nabo.
• "Ukuphelisa ukhuphiswano lwabantakwenu: Ukuhambisa abantwana baKho ukusuka kwiMfazwe ukuya kuXolo" nguSarah Hamaker. Ukuba udiniwe kuko konke ukukhala, ukungxola, ukulwa, kunye nokuphikisana, le ncwadi ikubonisa indlela yokuyeka ukukhathazeka kwaye uqale ngokunceda abantwana bakho bahlalisane ngcono.
• "Abantakwethu: Indlela yokujongana nokuBambisana kwabantakwabo ukuze wenze iiBond zoLuthando loBomi" nguLinda Blair. Ukusukela ukuba usukuzwano lwabantakwenu alunakuphepheka, lo mbhali uthi, kutheni ungawuguquli ube yinto eyakhayo? Ilungele abazali abacinga ukuba ubunzima obuncinci budala isimilo.

Ukuthatha

Abantwana bakho bazokulwa. Ngokuqinisekileyo ayilotyala lakho, kodwa ukuba ukulwa kugqithisile okanye kuphazamisa ukuvumelana kwendlu, lixesha lokuba ujonge indlela ukungqubana okumodareyithwa ngayo nokusonjululwa kusapho lwakho.

Kukho rhoqo iindlela ezincinci onokuhlengahlengisa iindlela zakho zokuba ngumzali ukukhuthaza ukusebenzisana okungcono phakathi kwabantwana bakho. Kwaye ukuba ufuna uncedo ngakumbi, unokufikelela kugqirha wabantwana okanye ugqirha wosapho ufumane iingcebiso ezingaphezulu.