Abahlobo Bakho Abatshatileyo Bayibiza Ngokuyeka: Ngoku Yintoni?

Umxholo

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Kunyaka ophelileyo, iqela labahlobo baka-Abbe Wright lalibonakala lilungile. Umntu oneminyaka eyi-28 waseBrooklyn ubukhulu becala wayehlala nabahlobo bakhe ababini abasenyongweni, uSarah noBrittany, kunye nabafana babo, uPeter noPatrick, ngokwahlukeneyo-yayiyinto entle encinci. Kodwa ekupheleni konyaka, uBrittany noPatrick bahlukana-kwaye kwabakho isiphithiphithi esikhulu.

“Kwakusoyikeka,” ukhumbula uAbbe, ochaza ukuba emva kokwahlukana kwenzeka ngezigaba ezibini. "U-Brittany wayelindele ukuba mna noSarah sibe nekhowudi yamantombazana kwaye singamboni uPatrick, nakanye. Kodwa sisondelelene ngokwenene noPatrick, ngokucacileyo, ngoko saziva sibambekile. Emva koko uBrittany waqala ukucela ukuba i-nuggets encinci yolwazi malunga nobomi bakhe bothando ihlelwe phantsi. Ngokusisiseko kuye kwathiwa, 'Ungamxeleli uPatrick ukuba ndiyakugcwalisa-kungenanto.' Yonke le meko yayidinisa kwaye inoxinzelelo, utshilo u-Abbe.

Iingcali zithi ukujongana nokutshintsha kweqela emva kokwahlukana komhlobo yimeko yentlalo ekhulayo ngenxa yenkcubeko ye-hookup yanamhlanje. "Into eyenzekayo kukuba abantu abaninzi baxhoma kumaqela amakhulu kwaye bathandane ngaphakathi kweqela kuba ukuthandana kuyinto eqhelekileyo ngoku," uchaza uCarlin Flora, ingcali kubudlelwane kunye nombhali Ubuhlobo: Iindlela Ezimangalisayo Iindlela Abahlobo Bethu Basenza Ukuba Singabo. Apha, ezona ziganeko zintathu zixhaphakileyo emva kokuhlukana komhlobo-kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo nganye.

Imeko # 1: Uziva uxinzelelo lokuthatha icala

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uzibandakanye kwidabi lokugcinwa kobuhlobo ukuze ube nenkxaso kuwo omabini amaqela-into ekufuneka uyenzile kukunxibelelana. Isitshixo kukunyaniseka nentlonipho, kwaye ungachwechwa ngasese. "Amathuba kukuba, ngokwendalo unokutsalela kwelinye icala kancinci ngaphezulu kwelinye, kwaye kulungile. Kodwa nantoni na oyenzayo, qiniseka ukuthi uthethe into kubahlobo bakho bobabini, 'Ndiyaqonda ukuba kunokuba nzima kuwe ukuba ndisahlala noMark ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa ndinolwalamano oluhle naye kwaye ndifuna ukuwugcina-ndiyathemba ukuba uyaqonda ukuba oku akuyithathi inkxaso yam kuwe, "ucebisa uAndrea Bonior, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nombhali. ULungiso lobuhlobo. Umhlobo wakho unokuba buhlungu kancinci ekuqaleni ("Andikholelwa ukuba usajinga kunye ne-ex yam!"), Kodwa ekugqibeleni, ezo mvakalelo zisekelwe kwiintlungu ezididayo zokuhlukana-kwaye iqabane lakho liya kuqonda ukuba xa sele ephuma. itonela yokwahlukana.

Imeko # 2: Ufuna ukuhlala ngaphandle kokungakhathali

Rhoqo, kwintlungu yokwahlukana, omabini amacala aya kuvakala ngelinye. Okuninzi. Kwaye oku kunokudala indawo, um, indawo evuthayo. Ngapha koko, i-vibe enetyhefu inokuba yomelele kangangokuba inokubangela ukuba ufune ukubaleka phantsi kwentaba kwaye uzifihle kunokuba uxhase i-buds yakho. Kwenzeka loo nto kuAlison, oneminyaka engama-33 waseManhattan. "Kwintliziyo yam yeentliziyo, bendifuna ukubakhona bobabini, kodwa bekunzima kakhulu kangangokuba nam bendifuna nje ukubopha ndingajongani kwaphela," uyavuma. Elona cebiso lilungileyo? Musa ukubaphepha abahlobo bakho-bakudinga kakhulu kunakuqala. Kunoko, hlala ungathathi cala ngokucela nje ukumamela. "Yithi, 'Ndilapha ngenxa yakho, kwaye ndiyifumana inceda ukuphuma. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba kuya kuba luncedo kakhulu ukuba ndimamele nje," ucebisa uBonior. Amathuba kukuba, baya konwaba xa bekusebenzisa njengebhodi enesandi. Ngale ndlela, awuyi kubeka esichengeni ubuhlobo bakho kunye nomntu-kwaye kuya kuba lula ukugcina ubudlelwane bobabini ekuhambeni kwexesha.

Imeko # 3: Ubuhlobo bakho nawo omabini la maqela aziva engonwabanga

Xa abahlobo bakho abasondeleyo bohlukana, uya kuzifumanisa ujongene neziphumo ebezingalindelekanga, njengeqela le-imeyile. Into ebikade ikhawulezisa kwaye kulula "ukuthumela" ngoku ijika ibe yile: "Ngubani endimfaka kuluhlu?" Nangona uyazi ukuba baya kwiintlungu, inxenye yakho inokubacaphukisa ngokuphelisa ixesha labo bonke, utsho uFlora. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba izinto zingazukufana akuthethi ukuba azizukulunga. Ukubheja kwakho kukunika ixesha; Bambelela kwimisebenzi yeqela bade babe nexesha lokuphola kwaye benze isigqibo malunga nendlela yokusingatha ukuseta olutsha. "Ukumisela okuqhelekileyo akukwenzeki ngobusuku obunye. Abahlobo bakho banokuziva belusizi kakhulu okanye banestresi sokuhlala-nokuba bodwa-ngeendlela ababeqhele ukuzenza," ucacisa uBonior. Yiba nomonde, kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha, uya kuqonda into abayidingayo kuwe. Kwimeko ka-Abbe, uBrittany kutshanje waqala ukuthandana nomfana omtsha, kwaye uye wamzisa kwiqela elijingayo-nokuba noPatrick apho. "Ngokuqinisekileyo kusenzima, kodwa wonke umntu uzama ukuba ngumntu oqolileyo. Ndivuyiswa kukuba sonke singaphinda sihlangane. Izinto azisayi kufana nanjengoko bezinjalo, kodwa bubomi obo, kwaye siyenza entsha. umsebenzi onamandla, utshilo.

Amagama abahlobo baka-Abbe atshintshiwe ngenxa yezizathu zabucala.

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