Ukukhula komntu ofikisayo

Ukukhula kwabantwana abaneminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-18 ubudala kufuneka kubandakanye amanqanaba okulindeleka omzimba kunye nengqondo.

Ngexesha lokufikisa, abantwana bakhulisa amandla oku:

• Qonda izimvo ezingabonakaliyo. Oku kubandakanya ukuqonda imixholo ephezulu yezibalo, kunye nokuphuhlisa ifilosofi yokuziphatha, kubandakanya amalungelo kunye namalungelo.
• Ukuseka nokugcina ubudlelwane obonelisayo. Abafikisayo baya kufunda ukwabelana ngolwalamano ngaphandle kokuziva bekhathazekile okanye bengathintelekanga.
• Hambisa kwimvakalelo yokuqola ngokwabo kunye nenjongo yabo.
• Buza amaxabiso amadala ngaphandle kokuphulukana nesazisi.

UKUPHUHLISWA KOMZIMBA

Ngexesha lokufikisa, abantu abancinci badlula kwiinguqu ezininzi njengoko besiya ekukhuleni ngokomzimba. Kwangoko, utshintsho olwenziwe kwangaphambili lwenzeka xa kuvela iimpawu zesondo zesibini.

Amantombazana:

• Amantombazana anokuqalisa ukukhula amathupha aseleminyaka esi-8 ubudala. Amabele akhula ngokupheleleyo phakathi kweminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-18.
• Iinwele ze-pubic, ikhwapha kunye neenwele zomlenze zihlala ziqala ukukhula malunga ne-9 okanye i-10 leminyaka, kwaye zifikelele kwiipateni zabantu abadala malunga ne-13 ukuya kwi-14 iminyaka.
• Ukuya exesheni (ukuqala kwexesha lokuya exesheni) kwenzeka rhoqo malunga neminyaka emi-2 emva kokuvela kwebele lokuqala kunye neenwele zasebusika. Inokwenzeka kwangoko kwiminyaka eyi-9, okanye emva kweminyaka eyi-16. Iminyaka yobudala yokuya exesheni e-United States imalunga neminyaka eli-12.
• Ukukhula kwamantombazana kukhula ngokujikeleza i-11.5 yobudala kwaye kuncipha kubudala be-16.

Amakhwenkwe:

• Amakhwenkwe aqala ukuqaphela ukuba amasende abo kunye nesirhashalala sikhula kanye kwiminyaka eyi-9. Kungekudala, incanca iqala ukuba nde. Ngeminyaka eli-17 okanye eli-18 ubudala, amalungu abo esini ahlala ebukhulu kunye nemilo yabo.
• Ukukhula kweenwele zePubic, kunye nekhwapha, umlenze, isifuba kunye neenwele zobuso, ziqala kumakhwenkwe malunga neminyaka eyi-12, kwaye ifikelela kwiipateni zabantu abadala malunga ne-17 ukuya kwi-18 leminyaka.
• Amakhwenkwe awaqali ukufikisa ngesihlo sequbuliso, njengokuqala kwexesha lokuya exesheni emantombazaneni. Ukukhutshwa rhoqo ebusuku (amaphupha amanzi) kuphawula ukuqala kokufikisa kubafana. Amaphupha amanzi aqala phakathi kweminyaka eyi-13 ukuya kwi-17. Ubudala obumalunga neminyaka eyi-14 enesiqingatha.
• Amazwi amakhwenkwe atshintsha ngaxeshanye njengoko ipipi ikhula. Ukukhutshwa kobusuku kwenzeka ngencopho yokuphakama kokuphakama.
• Ukukhula kwamakhwenkwe kukhula ngokunyuka kweminyaka eli-13 enesiqingatha kunye nokucothisa iminyaka eyi-18.

INDLELA YOKUZIPHATHA

Utshintsho olukhawulezileyo nolukhawulezayo lomzimba abakwishumi elivisayo abangena kulo lubenza abantwana bazive bekhathazekile. Banovakalelo, kwaye banexhala malunga notshintsho lomzimba wabo. Banokwenza ukuthelekiswa okubuhlungu malunga nabo noontanga babo.

Utshintsho lomzimba alunakwenzeka kwishedyuli egudileyo, yesiqhelo. Ke ngoko, abakwishumi elivisayo banokuhamba ngokungahambi kakuhle, kokubonakala kwabo kunye nolungelelwaniso lomzimba. Amantombazana anokuxhalaba xa engakulungelanga ukuqala kokuya exesheni. Abafana banokukhathazeka ukuba abazi malunga nokukhutshwa ebusuku.

Ngexesha lokufikisa, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abantu abancinci baqale ukwahlukana nabazali babo kwaye bazenze iziqu zabo. Ngamanye amaxesha, oku kunokwenzeka ngaphandle kwengxaki kubazali babo nakwamanye amalungu osapho.Nangona kunjalo, oku kungakhokelela kungxabano kwezinye iintsapho njengoko abazali bezama ukugcina ulawulo.

Abahlobo babaluleke ngakumbi njengoko abafikisayo beshiya abazali babo bekhangela ubuwena.

• Oontanga babo banokuba yindawo ekhuselekileyo. Oku kuvumela umntwana ofikisayo ukuba avavanye izimvo ezintsha.
• Ebutsheni bokufikisa, iqela loontanga lihlala liqukethe ubuhlobo obungathandani. Oku kuhlala kubandakanya "amaqela," amaqela emigulukudu, okanye iiklabhu. Amalungu eqela loontanga bahlala bezama ukwenza ngokufanayo, banxibe ngokufanayo, baneekhowudi eziyimfihlo okanye amasiko, kwaye bathathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi efanayo.
• Njengokuba ulutsha lisiya kwinqanaba lokufikisa (iminyaka eli-14 ukuya kweli-16) nangaphaya, iqela loontanga liyakhula ukubandakanya ubuhlobo bothando.

Ukufikelela kwinqanaba lokufikisa, abantu abancinci bahlala beziva benesidingo sokuzazisa ngokwesini. Kuya kufuneka bekhululekile ngemizimba yabo kunye neemvakalelo zesondo. Abafikisayo bafunda ukuveza kunye nokufumana inkqubela phambili yesondo. Abantu abancinci abangenalo ithuba lokufumana amava anokuba nobunzima kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni xa sele bebadala.

Ulutsha olufikisayo luhlala lunendlela yokuziphatha ehambelana neentsomi ezininzi zokufikisa:

• Intsomi yokuqala kukuba "baseqongeni" kwaye abanye abantu bajonge rhoqo kwinkangeleko okanye kwizenzo zabo. Oku kuqhelekile kukuzingca. Nangona kunjalo, inokubonakala (ngakumbi kubantu abadala) ukuya kumda weparanoia, ukuzithanda (narcissism), okanye ne-hysteria.
• Enye intsomi yokufikisa yingcinga yokuba "ayisoze yenzeke kum, kuphela ngomnye umntu." "Inokuthi" ibonakalise ukukhulelwa okanye ukubamba isifo esidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini emva kokwabelana ngesondo ngokungakhuselekanga, ukubangela ingozi yemoto ngelixa uqhuba uphantsi kweempembelelo zotywala okanye iziyobisi, okanye naziphi na ezinye iziphumo ebezingalunganga zokuziphatha okuthatha umngcipheko.

UKHUSELEKO

Abafikisayo baya besomelela kwaye bezimele ngakumbi phambi kokuba baphuhlise izakhono ezifanelekileyo zokwenza izigqibo. Isidingo esomeleleyo sokwamkelwa ngoontanga sinokulinga umntu oselula ukuba athathe inxaxheba ekuziphatheni okuyingozi.

Ukhuseleko lweemoto kufuneka kugxininiswe. Kuya kufuneka ijonge kwindima yomqhubi / yomkhweli / yeenyawo, yomngcipheko wokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, kunye nokubaluleka kokusebenzisa ibhanti. Abakwishumi elivisayo akufuneki babenelungelo lokusebenzisa iimoto ngaphandle kokuba banokubonisa ukuba banokwenza oko ngokukhuselekileyo.

Eminye imiba yokhuseleko yile:

• Abafikisayo ababandakanyeka kwezemidlalo kufuneka bafunde ukusebenzisa izixhobo kunye nezixhobo zokukhusela okanye iimpahla. Kuya kufuneka bafundiswe imigaqo yokudlala ekhuselekileyo kunye nendlela yokufikelela kwimisebenzi ephambili ngakumbi.
• Abantu abancinci kufuneka bazazi iingozi ezinokwenzeka kubandakanya nokufa ngesiquphe. Ezi zoyikiso zinokwenzeka ngokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, kunye nokusetyenziswa kovavanyo lweziyobisi notywala.
• Abafikisayo abavunyelwe ukusebenzisa okanye ukufikelela kwimipu kufuneka bafunde indlela yokuyisebenzisa ngokufanelekileyo.

Ukuba abakwishumi elivisayo bafuna ukuvavanywa ukuba babonakala ngathi bahlukanisiwe noontanga babo, abanamdla esikolweni okanye kwimicimbi yezentlalo, okanye baqhuba kakubi esikolweni, emsebenzini okanye kwezemidlalo.

Ulutsha oluninzi lusengozini yokufumana uxinzelelo kunye nokuzama ukuzibulala. Oku kunokubangelwa luxinzelelo kunye neengxabano kwiintsapho zabo, isikolo okanye imibutho yezentlalo, amaqela oontanga, kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni.

IINGCEBISO ZOKUBA NGUMZALI NGESINI

Ulutsha olufikisayo luhlala ludinga ukuba bucala ukuze luqonde utshintsho olwenzeka kwimizimba yabo. Ngokufanelekileyo, kufuneka bavunyelwe ukuba babe negumbi labo lokulala. Ukuba oku akunakwenzeka, kufuneka okungenani babe nendawo yabucala.

Ukuhlekisa umntwana ofikisayo malunga neenguqu zomzimba akufanelekanga. Ingakhokelela kukuzazi kunye neentloni.

Abazali kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba kungokwemvelo kwaye kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umntwana wabo ofikisayo abe nomdla kutshintsho lomzimba nakwizihloko zesondo. Oko akuthethi ukuba umntwana wabo ubandakanyeka kwizenzo zesondo.

Abafikisayo banokuzama iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha ngokwesini okanye isimilo ngaphambi kokuziva bekhululekile ngokwesini sabo. Abazali kufuneka balumke bangabizi iindlela ezintsha zokuziphatha "ezingalunganga," "ezigulayo," okanye "ezingcolileyo."

Ubunzima be-Oedipal (umtsalane womntwana kumzali wesini esahlukileyo) uqhelekile kwiminyaka yokufikisa. Abazali banokujongana noku ngokuvuma utshintsho lomzimba womntwana kunye nomtsalane ngaphandle kokuwela imida yomzali nomntwana. Abazali banako ukuzingca ngokukhula kolutsha ekuvuthweni.

Kuqhelekile ukuba umzali afumane umntwana ofikisayo enomtsalane. Oku kuhlala kusenzeka kuba ulutsha luhlala lukhangeleka kakhulu ngathi lolunye (isini esifanayo) umzali alwenzileyo esemncinci. Oku kutsala kunokubangela ukuba umzali azive engaqhelekanga. Umzali kufuneka alumke angawenzi umgama onokwenza ukuba umntwana afikisane noxanduva. Ayifanelekanga ukuba umtsalane womzali emntwaneni abe yiyo nantoni na engaphaya komtsalane njengomzali. Umtsalane owela imida yomzali nomntwana unokukhokelela ekuziphatheni ngendlela engafanelekanga kulutsha. Oku kwaziwa njengesihlobo.

INKULULEKO NOKUZIMELA KWAMANDLA

Imfuno yeshumi elivisayo yokuzimela yinxalenye eqhelekileyo yophuhliso. Umzali akufuneki ayibone njengokugatywa okanye ukuphulukana nolawulo. Abazali kufuneka bahlale bengaguquguquki. Bamele babekhona ukumamela izimvo zomntwana ngaphandle kokulawula ukuzimela komntwana.

Nangona ulutsha luhlala lucelomngeni kumanani egunya, bayayifuna okanye bafuna umda. Imida ibonelela ngomda okhuselekileyo kubo wokuba bakhule kwaye basebenze. Ukuseta umda kuthetha ukuba nemithetho esetiweyo kunye nemigaqo malunga nokuziphatha kwabo.

Ukulwa amandla kuqala xa igunya lisemngciphekweni okanye "ukulunga" ngumba ophambili. Ezi meko kufuneka zithintelwe, ukuba kunokwenzeka. Elinye lamaqela (ngesiqhelo ulutsha) luya koyiswa. Oku kuyakwenza ukuba ulutsha luphulukane nobuso. Umntu ofikisayo unokuziva eneentloni, engonelanga, enenzondo kwaye enomsindo ngenxa yoko.

Abazali kufuneka babe bakulungele kwaye bayazazi iimbambano eziqhelekileyo ezinokuvela ngelixa bekhulisa abantwana abafikisayo. Amava anokuchaphazeleka kwimicimbi engasonjululwanga ebuntwaneni bomzali, okanye kwiminyaka yobutsha yokufikisa.

Abazali kufuneka bazi ukuba abantwana babo abakwishumi elivisayo baya kuphinda bacel 'umngeni kwigunya labo. Ukugcina unxibelelwano luvulekile kwaye kucacile, kodwa kuthethathethwane, imida okanye imida kunokunceda ukunciphisa ukungqubana okukhulu.

Uninzi lwabazali luziva ngathi banobulumko ngakumbi kunye nokuzikhulisa njengoko benyuka baya kwimiceli mngeni yokuba ngumzali kulutsha.

Uphuhliso - ukufikisa; Ukukhula kunye nokukhula-kwinqanaba lokufikisa

• Uxinzelelo kulutsha

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IHolland-Hall CM. Ukufikisa ngokwasemzimbeni nakwezentlalo. Ku: Kliegman RM, St Geme JW, Blum NJ, Shah SS, Tasker RC, Wilson KM, ii-eds. Incwadi kaNelson yeNcwadi yePediatrics. Umhla wama-21. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020: isahl. 132.

UMarcdante KJ, uKliegman RM. Ushwankathelo kunye novavanyo lwabakwishumi elivisayo. Ku: UMarcdante KJ, uKliegman RM, ii-eds. UNelson oBalulekileyo kwiPediatrics. Ngomhla we-8. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; I-2019: isahluko 67.