Kutheni le nto kufuneka sithethe ngokoyika ukufa

Umxholo

• "Ubomi babuza uKufa, 'Kutheni abantu bendithanda kodwa bekucaphukela?' Ukufa kuphendule, 'Ngenxa yokuba ulixoki kwaye ndiyinyaniso ebuhlungu."
• Makhe sithethe ngokufa ngenxa yekhofi
• Ithini imbali yokufa, okanye "indlovu egumbini"?
• Uyizisa njani incoko yokufa ekhaya

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

"Ubomi babuza uKufa, 'Kutheni abantu bendithanda kodwa bekucaphukela?' Ukufa kuphendule, 'Ngenxa yokuba ulixoki kwaye ndiyinyaniso ebuhlungu."

Uninzi lwabantu aluthandi ukucinga okanye ukuthetha ngokufa. Nangona kungenakuphepheka ukuba sonke siza kufa, uloyiko, unxunguphalo, kunye noloyiko lusangqonge ukufa-nokuba lilizwi kuphela. Sizama ukunqanda ukucinga ngayo. Kodwa ngokwenza njalo, siyichaphazela kakubi impilo yethu yengqondo kunye neyomzimba ngaphezu kokuba sisazi.

Kukho nekota yayo: ixhala lokufa. Eli binzana lichaza uloyiko abantu abanalo xa besazi ngokufa.

"Le ngcamango," kusho uLisa Iverach, PhD, uphando oluphezulu kwiYunivesithi yaseSydney, "isekelwe kubungqina bokuba ukufa kubaluleke kakhulu kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zokuxhalabisa."

Ukuxhalaba ngokufa kunokuba yinto eqhelekileyo. Uloyiko lwento engaziwayo kunye nento eyenzekayo emva kwexesha yinkxalabo esemthethweni. Kodwa xa iqala ukuphazamisa indlela ophila ngayo ubomi bakho, iba yingxaki. Kwaye kubantu abangazifumaniyo iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokulwa, kunokwenzeka ukuba konke ukuxhalaba kubangele iintlungu zengqondo kunye noxinzelelo.

Iverach ibeka iimeko ezimbalwa apho uloyiko lokufa luchaphazela impilo entle. Ungazibona ezinye:

• Ukwahlula uxinzelelo kubantwana kuhlala kubandakanya uloyiko olugqithisileyo lokuphulukana nabantu ababalulekileyo kubo, njengabazali babo, ngeengozi okanye ukufa.
• Abavavanyi abanyanzelekileyo baphinda bahlole ukutshintshwa kwamandla, izitovu kunye neetshixo ngeenjongo zokuthintela ukwenzakala okanye ukufa.
• Iwashi ezinyanzeliswayo zihlala zisoyika ukosuleleka zizifo ezinganyangekiyo nezisongela ubomi.
• Ukoyika ukufa ngenxa yesifo sentliziyo kuhlala kungunobangela wokutyelelwa rhoqo ngugqirha kwabo banengxaki yokuphazamiseka.
• Abantu abanengxaki yokuqaqanjelwa sisifo babandakanyeka kwizicelo ezenziwa rhoqo zovavanyo lwezonyango kunye nokuskena komzimba ukuze kuchongwe isifo esibi okanye esigulayo.
• I-phobias ekhethekileyo ibandakanya uloyiko olugqithisileyo lweendawo eziphakamileyo, izigcawu, iinyoka kunye negazi, zonke ezo zinxulunyaniswa nokufa.

“Ukufa asiyonto sithetha ngayo rhoqo. Mhlawumbi sonke kufuneka sikhululeke ngakumbi ekuxoxeni ngesi sihloko siphantse senziwe. Ayifanelanga ukuba yindlovu egumbini, "ukhumbuza uIverach.

Makhe sithethe ngokufa ngenxa yekhofi

Ukuthetha ngokufa ngumsebenzi wobomi kaKaren Van Dyke. Ukongeza ekubeni ngumcebisi wokuphela kobomi osebenza nabantu abadala ekuncedeni indawo yokuhlala kunye nokukhathalela imemori, uVan Dyke wabamba iDeafe Cafe yokuqala yaseSan Diego ngo-2013. bathetha ngokuphandle ngokufa. Uninzi lukwiindawo zokutya okanye zokutyela apho abantu batya basela kunye.

"Injongo ye-Death Cafes kukwenza lula umthwalo wemfihlakalo yamava akho nokuba angangaba yintoni," utshilo uVan Dyke. "Ngokuqinisekileyo ndenza ubomi ngokwahlukileyo ngoku, ngakumbi ngalo mzuzu, kwaye ndicacise ngakumbi ngendawo endifuna ukubeka kuyo amandla am, kwaye oko kukuhambelana ngqo malunga nokukwazi ukuthetha ngokufa ngenkululeko."

Le ntetho yokufa isempilweni kakhulu kuneminye imikhwa kunye nezenzo esinokuthi sizithathe ukunqanda ukufa. Ukubukela umabonwakude, ukusela utywala, ukutshaya, nokuya ezivenkileni… bekuza kuthini ukuba ezi ziziphazamiso kunye nemikhwa esiyenzayo ukuphepha ukucinga ngokufa? Ngokuka-Sheldon Solomon, uprofesa wezengqondo kwiKholeji yaseSkidmore eSaratoga Springs, eNew York, ukusebenzisa ezi ndlela zokuziphatha njengeziphazamiso ayisiyongcamango yakwelinye ilizwe.

"Kuba ukufa yinto engathandekiyo kubantu abaninzi, ngokukhawuleza sizama ukuyikhupha entlokweni yethu ngokwenza izinto ukuze siziphazamise," utsho uSolomon. Uphando lwakhe lubonisa ukuba uloyiko lokufa lunokuseta ukusabela, imikhwa kunye nokuziphatha okubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo.

Ukulwa nale ndlela yokuziphatha, ukuba nendlela enempilo kunye nokujonga ukufa kunokuba sisiqalo.

Ukufa kweCafes kuye kwavela kwihlabathi liphela. UJon Underwood kunye no-Sue Barsky Reid basungula ii-Death Cafes eLondon ngo-2011 ngeenjongo zokwenza iingxoxo malunga nokufa kungoyiki ngokubonisa kwiindawo ezinobuntu. Ngo-2012, uLizzy Miles wazisa i-Death Cafe yokuqala e-US eColumbus, eOhio.

Kucacile ukuba liyanda inani labantu abafuna ukuthetha ngokuphandle ngokufa. Into abayifunayo yindawo ekhuselekileyo nenomdla, ebonelelwa yiKufa Cafes.

Ithini imbali yokufa, okanye "indlovu egumbini"?

Mhlawumbi kukoyika igama elinika amandla.

UCaroline Lloyd, owasungula iDeafe Cafe yokuqala eDublin, uthi ngelifa lobuKatolika eIreland, inkoliso yemikhuba yokufa ijolise ecaweni nakwizithethe zayo ekudala zikho ezifana nemingcwabo kunye nemibhiyozo yezenkolo. Uluvo lokuba amanye amaKatolika akholelwa ekubeni ukwazi amagama eedemon yindlela yokuthatha amandla abo.

Ungathini ukuba, kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, singasebenzisa indlela yokufa? Endaweni yokuthetha izifungo ezinje ngokuba "wawela," wasweleka, "okanye" waqhubekeka "kwaye uziqhelisa ekufeni, kutheni singakwamkeli oko?

EMelika, sityelela amangcwaba. "Kodwa ayisiyiyo le nto ifunwa ngumntu wonke," utshilo uVan Dyke. Abantu bafuna ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo- ngokoyika ukufa, amava abo okugula ngokungaginyisi mathe, ukubona ukusweleka komntu omthandayo, nezinye izihloko.

IDeafe Cafe eDublin ibanjelwe kwindawo yokupapasha, isimbo saseIreland, kodwa akukho mntu unxila xa kusenzeka ezi ngxoxo. Ngokuqinisekileyo banokuba ne-pint okanye i-tea, kodwa abantu kwi-pub-abancinci nabadala, abafazi kunye namadoda, emaphandleni nasezidolophini-banzulu xa kuziwa ekujonganeni nokufa. Kananjalo bayonwaba. ILaugher yinxalenye yayo, ”wongeza uLloyd, oza kuthi kungekudala abambe indibano yesine yeDeafe Cafe kwikomkhulu laseIreland.

Kucacile ukuba ezi cafes zenza umsebenzi olungileyo.

UVan Dyke uthi: "Eyona nto ifunwa luluntu kakhulu." "Kwaye, ndiye ndanoxolo oluncinci lokuba ukufa kuyakwenzeka emva kokwenza oku ixesha elide." Kukho iindwendwe ezingama-22 zokufa kweCafe eSan Diego, zonke ziqeqeshwa nguVan Dyke kunye neqela ekwabelaneni ngezona ndlela zibalaseleyo.

Uyizisa njani incoko yokufa ekhaya

Ngelixa iiCafes zokuFa zisezintsha e-U.S, ezinye iinkcubeko zinexesha elide, izithethe ezilungileyo malunga nokufa kunye nokufa.

UMfu Terri Daniel, MA, CT, unesiqinisekiso sokufa, sokufa kunye nokufelwa, i-ADEC. Ukwangumsunguli weZiko loKwazisa ngokuFa kunye neNkomfa yasemva kokufa. UDaniel unamava ekusebenziseni amasiko e-shamanic enkcubeko yemveli ukunceda ukuphilisa abantu ngokuhambisa amandla oxinzelelo kunye nelahleko emzimbeni. Ufunde amasiko okufa nakwezinye iinkcubeko.

E-China, amalungu osapho ahlanganisa izibingelelo kwizalamane ezisandula ukusweleka. Ezi zinokuba neentyatyambo, iifoto, amakhandlela, kunye nokutya. Bazishiya ezi zibingelelo okungenani unyaka, ngamanye amaxesha ngonaphakade, ke imiphefumlo yabo bashiyekileyo ikunye nayo yonke imihla. Ukufa asikokucinga emva okanye ukoyika, sisikhumbuzo semihla ngemihla.

UDaniel ucaphula isithethe samaSilamsi njengomnye umzekelo: Ukuba umntu ubona umngcwabo, kufuneka awulandele amanyathelo angama-40 okuma kunye nokuqonda ukubaluleka kokufa. Ukwakhankanya indlela ubuHindu kunye nobuBuddha njengeenkolo kunye nokuzimasa amasiko afundisa kwaye aqonde ukubaluleka kokufa kunye nokulungiselela ukufa njengendlela yokukhanyisela, endaweni yokufa kunye noloyiko nexhala.

Ukutshintsha kwesimo sengqondo malunga nokufa kulungile. Ukuba ukuhlala ubomi bethu sisoyika ukufa kuyichaphazela kakubi impilo yethu, kuya kufuneka ke senze iinzame zokwamkela ukucinga, nokuziphatha okuhle malunga nesihloko. Ukutshintsha ingxelo malunga nokufa usuke kwixhala uye kolwamkelo, nokuba kungokufa kweCafes okanye ezinye izithethe, ngokuqinisekileyo linyathelo lokuqala lokuvula incoko. Mhlawumbi emva koko, singakwamkela esidlangalaleni kwaye sibhiyozele ukufa njengenxalenye yomjikelo wobomi bomntu.

UStephanie Schroeder sisiXeko saseNew York-Usekelwe kumbhali ozisebenzelayo kunye nombhali. Ummeli wempilo yengqondo kunye nomzabalazo, uSchroeder wapapasha incwadi yakhe ethi, "Ukuchitheka okuhle: Ukwabelana ngesondo, Ubuxoki kunye nokuzibulala," kwi2012. Ngoku uhlela ngokubhaliweyo i-anthology "HEADCASE: Ababhali be-LGBTQ kunye namaGcisa eMpilo yeNgqondo kunye nokuPhila," oya kuthi ipapashwe yi-Oxford University Press ngo-2018/2019. Ungamfumana kwi-Twitter apha @ StephS910.