Ngaba iKhaya elinoMyalezo lenza ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho lube lubi kakhulu?

Umxholo

• Indlela okusingqongileyo okubonisa ngayo imeko yakho
• Ucoceko luhlobo lokuzihlonela
• Ukuqala kancinci
• Impembelelo yexesha elide
• Yise kude

Ndinamava okuxinezeleka kakhulu okokoko bendikhumbula.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuxinezeleka kakhulu kwakuthetha ukuphuma ubusuku bonke, ukunxila ngokunokwenzeka, nokuzingela into ethile (okanye umntu) ukuphazamisa ukungabikho kwam ngaphakathi.

Ngamanye amaxesha, kubandakanya ukuhlala kwiipijama zam kunye nokuchitha iintsuku, ngamanye amaxesha iiveki, ukubukela ukubukela ukutya kwi-Netflix ukusuka ebhedini yam.

Kodwa akukhathaleki nokuba bendikwelo xesha lentshabalalo esebenzayo okanye ubuthongo nje bodwa, enye indawo yoxinzelelo lwam yahlala ingaguquguquki: Ikhaya lam belisoloko likhangeleka njengesaqhwithi.

Indlela okusingqongileyo okubonisa ngayo imeko yakho

Ukuba wakha wadandatheka, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uqhelana kakhulu nokudakumba okunamandla okukufumana kuwo onke amandla kunye nenkuthazo. Ngokukodwa ingcinga yokuhlanjwa ivakalelwa ngathi ingathatha umzamo weembaleki. Akumangalisi ke ukuba ikhaya lomntu oxinezeleke kakhulu alikho kubume benkwenkwezi. Ngokuqinisekileyo okwam bekungekho ngaphandle.

Iminyaka, imeko-bume yam yayiyimbonakalo egqibeleleyo yesimo sengqondo sam: sisiphithiphithi, singaphefumlelwanga, singalungelelananga kwaye sigcwele iimfihlo ezihlazo. Ndingaloyikeka ixesha lokuba nabani na acele ukuza kuba ndiyazi ukuba loo nto ithetha enye yezinto ezimbini: Umceli mngeni wokucoca obonakala ungenakoyiswa, okanye ukurhoxisa izicwangciso kumntu endimkhathaleleyo. Elokugqibela liphumelele iipesenti ezingama-99 zexesha.

Ndikhule ndinombono wokuba ukudakumba yayingekokugula okusemthethweni nokuba ibubuthathaka. Inokulungiswa ukuba ndingazama nzima ngakumbi. Ndandineentloni kangangokuba ndandingakwazi ukuzikhupha kuyo, ndenza konke okusemandleni ukuze ndiyifihle. Ndingathanda uncumo olungeyonyani, ukuthanda izinto ezingeyonyani, ukuhleka okungeyonyani, kwaye ndiqhubeke njalo ndiqhubeke nabahlobo kunye nosapho malunga nendlela endonwabe kwaye ndizithembile ngayo. Ngokwenyani, bendiziva ngokufihlakeleyo ndingenathemba kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, ndifuna ukuzibulala.

Ngelishwa, i-facade endiyisebenzisayo imihla ngemihla ukuyigcina iya kufika xa umntu ehamba endlwini yam. Babebona izitya ezimdaka ziphuphuma esinkini, iimpahla zisasazekile, ubuninzi beebhotile zewayini ezingenanto, kunye neziduli zenkunkuma eziqokelela kwikona nganye. Ke ndiye ndayiphepha.Ndingazophula izicwangciso, ndizithethelele, kwaye ndizipeyinte njengomntu wabucala ngokunzulu okhetha nje ukuba abantu bangafiki, nangona bekungekho nto ndiyifunayo ngaphandle kokuba abantu beze.

Ucoceko luhlobo lokuzihlonela

Emva kweminyaka yale ntsebenzo enokubangela ukuba kungabikho mntu uzinzileyo, ndeva ibinzana lokudlula endiza kuthi kamva ndilifumane lingunobangela wotshintsho olukhulu kubomi:

Ucoceko luhlobo lokuzihlonela.

Loo magama aqala ukutshintsha umbono wam, endenza ukuba ndiqonde ukuba ndiyityeshele imeko-bume yam ixesha elide ngenxa yokuba ndiziva ndiphelile. Kodwa ubukhulu becala, andikhange ndibone ndawo yokubeka phambili. Bendinamaxesha okuhlawula amatyala, ndaye ndasokola ukuwenza umsebenzi iintsuku ezininzi, kwaye ubudlelwane bam babuphethwe kakubi kukungabikho kononophelo. Ke, ukucoca indawo endihlala kuyo kwakungakhange kubonakale ngathi yeyaphezulu kwe-to-dos yam.

Kodwa intsingiselo yeli binzana ilula inamathele kum. Ucoceko luhlobo lokuzihlonela. Kwaye kwaqala ukukhala ngokunyanisekileyo kwinyani yengqondo yam. Njengoko ndandijonga indawo endihlala kuyo, ndaqala ukubona ukungcungcutheka kwento eyiyo kanye: ukungazihloniphi.

Ukuqala kancinci

Ngelixa ukulungisa ubudlelwane kwakubonakala kunzima kakhulu kwaye ukufumana ulwaneliseko emsebenzini wam kwakubonakala kungenakwenzeka, ukuchitha ixesha elincinci ukhathalela indlu yam yonke imihla kwaqala ukuziva ngathi yinto endinokuyenza ukukhuthaza impilo-ntle yam. Ke, yile nto ndiyenzileyo.

Ndiqale kancinci, ndisazi ukuba ukuba ndithatha kakhulu ngaxeshanye, ukukhubazeka koxinzelelo kuyakuthatha indawo. Ke, ndizimisele ukwenza into entle enye kwiflethi yam yonke imihla. Kuqala, ndaqokelela zonke iimpahla zam ndazifaka kwimfumba enye, yayiyeyosuku lokuqala. Ngosuku olulandelayo ndacoca izitya. Kwaye ndaqhubeka ndihamba ngoluhlobo, ndisenza kancinci suku ngalunye. Ndifumene ukuba yonke imihla entsha yokwenza izinto yenziwe, bendinomdla wokuthatha olandelayo.

Ixesha elingaphezulu, le ntshukumisa yaqokelelwa kumandla ayimfuneko ukugcina ikhaya licocekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba andisaziva ndineentloni ngalo. Kwaye ndafumanisa ukuba andizange ndizive ndinentloni ngam, nam.

Impembelelo yexesha elide

Andizange ndazi nje ukuba zingakanani isiphithiphithi sendlu yam esichaphazela impilo yam. Ngethuba lokuqala kwiminyaka, ndingavuka kwaye ndingabinangxaki nokudakumba ngendlela yeebhotile zewayini ezingenanto kunye neebhokisi ezindala zokuthabatha. Endaweni yoko, ndabona indawo enocwangco. Oku kubonakalise amandla wam namandla.

Olu ncedo lincinci ndilifumanileyo belanele ukundikhuthaza ukuba ndiqhubeke. Emva kokuba indlu yam ihlambulukile, ndaqala ukubeka ingcamango ekuhlobiseni kwayo. Ndayixhoma imifanekiso eyayindenza ndincume, ndatshintsha indawo endandlala kuyo ndaza ndaya kwinto eqaqambileyo nenemibala, ndaza ndacima iisheyinti ezimnyama ezifestileni zam ukuze ilanga lingene okokuqala kwiminyaka.

Kwakukhulula. Kwaye, njengoko kuvela, olu tshintsho lulula luxhaswa yisayensi. Isifundo esapapashwa kwiPersonality and Social Psychology Bulletin sicebisa ukuba abantu abachaza amakhaya abo njengezinto ezixineneyo okanye ezingagqitywanga ukwanda kokudakumba ngexesha losuku. Kwelinye icala, abantu abachaze amakhaya abo njengocwangco-uqikelele-baziva bencipha ukudakumba.

Yise kude

Kwimizabalazo engenakubalwa yabantu abakule meko yobuso, ukuhlela ikhaya lakho yenye yezona zinto zibambekayo unokujongana nazo. Inzululwazi ide icebise ukuba xa usenzile, uya kuziva unamandla kwaye usempilweni.

Ndiyayiqonda ngokupheleleyo into yokuba ukujika intlekele enesiphithiphithi kwikhaya oziva ulungile ngalo kunokuziva kuyinto engenakwenzeka, ngakumbi xa usengxakini yoxinzelelo. Kodwa khumbula ukuba ayilogqatso! Njengoko benditshilo, ndiqale ngokubeka zonke iimpahla zam kwimfumba enye. Ke, qala kancinci kwaye wenze kuphela oko unako. Inkuthazo iya kulandela.