Uthetha ntoni kumntu odandathekileyo, ngokweengcali zempilo yengqondo

Umxholo

• Kutheni ukuJonga ngaphakathi kubaluleke kangaka
• Ayisiyiyo nje into oyithethayo, kodwa Njani Wena Yitsho
• Ukuba Utheni kumntu oxinezelekileyo
• Bonisa inkathalo nenkxalabo.
• Cela ukuthetha okanye ukuchitha ixesha kunye.
• Yiba ngumlandeli wabo # 1 (kodwa ungayibaxi).
• Buza nje ukuba baqhuba njani.
• ... kwaye ukuba ukhathalele ukhuseleko lwabo, yitsho into.
• Into Ongamele Uyithethe Kumntu Onoxinzelelo
• Musa ukutsiba ekusombululeni iingxaki.
• Musa ukubeka ityala.
• Kuphephe ukuba netyhefu.
• Ungaze uthi "Akufanele Uzive Unjalo."
• Ekugqibeleni, khumbula injongo yakho
• Uphengululo lwe

Kwanangaphambi kwengxaki ye-coronavirus, uxinzelelo yenye yezona ngxaki zixhaphakileyo kwezempilo yengqondo emhlabeni. Kwaye ngoku, iinyanga kungena ubhubhane, iyanda. Uphando lwamva nje lufumanise ukuba "ukwanda kweempawu zokudakumba" e-U.S kwakungaphezulu kwesithathu kunaphambi kobhubhane. Ngamanye amazwi, inani labantu abadala baseMelika abanengxaki yokudakumba liphindaphindeke kathathu, ke, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyazi. Nangona Umntu omnye ophila noxinzelelo- nokuba uyazi okanye cha.

Ukuxinezeleka - okubizwa ngokuba yikliniki yokudakumba - yingxaki yengqondo ebangela iimpawu eziphazamisayo ezichaphazela indlela oziva ngayo, ukucinga, nokusingatha imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla njengokulala nokutya, ngokweNational Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH). Oku kwahlukile kunokuziva uphantsi okanye uphantsi ixesha elifutshane, apho abantu badla ngokuchaza “njengokuziva udakumbile” okanye ukuba ngumntu “odandathekileyo”. Ngenxa yeli nqaku, sithetha kwaye sisebenzisa la mabinzana ukubhekisa kubantu abadandathekileyo eklinikhi.

Ngapha koko, ngenxa yokuba ukudakumba kuya kusiba yindawo eqhelekileyo, oko akuthethi ukuba kulula ukuthetha ngayo (enkosi kubukulwa, amabala enkcubeko, kunye nokusilela kwemfundo). Masijongane nayo: Ukwazi ukuba ungathini kumntu oxinezelekileyo- nokuba lilungu losapho, mhlobo, obalulekileyo komnye - kunokuba yinto enzima. Ngoko, unokubanceda njani abantu obathandayo abasweleyo? Kwaye zeziphi izinto ezilungileyo nezingalunganga onokuzithetha kumntu oxinezelekileyo? Iingcali zempilo yengqondo ziyayiphendula loo mibuzo, zisabelana ngokuthe ngqo into amakayithethe kumntu okhathazekileyo, odandathekileyo, nokunye. (Idibeneyo: Ibala elijikeleze amayeza onyango lwengqondo anyanzela abantu ukuba babandezeleke ngokuthula)

Kutheni ukuJonga ngaphakathi kubaluleke kangaka

Ngelixa ezi nyanga zidlulileyo bezizimele zodwa (ngenxa yobukhulu becala lokungena ekuhlaleni kunye nezinye izilumkiso eziyimfuneko ze-COVID-19), amathuba okuba aye anjalo ngakumbi kwabo banoxinzelelo. Kungenxa yokuba isithukuthezi "lelinye lawona mava aqhelekileyo abo badandathekileyo," utsho u-Forest Talley, Ph.D., isazi ngengqondo yeklinikhi kunye nomseki we-Invictus Psychological Services eFolsom, CA. "Oku kudla ngokubonakala njengemvo yokuziva ikheswa kunye nokungahoywa. Uninzi lwabo badandathekileyo bafumanisa oku kubuhlungu kwaye kuyaqondakala; imvakalelo yabo yokuzixabisa iye yaphazamiseka kangangokuba bagqiba ngokukhawuleza, 'Akukho mntu ufuna ukusondela kum. kwaye andibabeki tyala, kutheni befanele bakhathalele?'

Kodwa u "'bona" ​​(funda: wena) kufuneka ubonise aba bantu banokudandatheka ukuba uyakhathala. Ukuvumela umntu omthandayo azi ukuba ubalungele kwaye uzakwenza nantoni na ukubanika uncedo olufunekayo, "inika ithemba abanalo abalidinga kakhulu," ucacisa watsho ugqirha wezengqondo u-Charles Herrick, MD, usihlalo wePsychiatry eDanbury, eNew Milford, nakwizibhedlele zaseNorwalk eConnecticut.

Oko kwathiwa, abanakuphendula kwangoko ngeengalo ezivulekileyo kunye nebhanela ebhalwe, "gee, enkosi ngokundinika ithemba." Endaweni yoko, unokuhlangabezana nenkcaso (indlela yokuzikhusela). Ngokujonga nje kuzo, ungatshintsha enye yeengcinga zabo ezigqwethekileyo (okt akukho mntu ubakhathaleleyo okanye abafanelwe luthando nenkxaso) ezinokuthi zibancede bavuleke ngakumbi ekuxoxeni ngezabo iimvakalelo.

“Into umntu odandathekileyo angayiqondiyo kukuba baye batyhalela kude abo bantu banokuba luncedo,” utshilo uTalley. "Xa umhlobo okanye ilungu losapho lihlola umntu odandathekileyo, lisebenza njengesixhobo sokuthintela ezi mbono zigqwethekileyo zokungahoyi nokungabikho kokuxabiseka. Inika isalathiso sokukhukula nokungazithembi umntu oxinezelekileyo uhlala ejongene ."

"Indlela abaphendula ngayo okanye abasabela ngayo isekwe kuloo mntu kwaye bakwimpilo yabo - ukubaxhasa kunye nokuba nomonde kuya kubaluleke kakhulu kuyo yonke le nkqubo," wongeza uNina Westbrook, uL.M.F.T.

Ngaphezu koko, ngokungena kunye nokuvula incoko, ukwanceda ekuthobeni impilo yengqondo. (okt usapho, umsebenzi, isikolo), kuncipha ukubekwa amabala kwaye abantu abancinci baya kuziva benentloni okanye benetyala malunga nokuba kutheni besokola, utshilo ugqirha wezengqondo uKevin Gilliland, Psy.D, umlawuli olawulayo we-Innovation360 eDallas , TX.

"Ungakhathazeki kakhulu ngokubuza yonke imibuzo efanelekileyo okanye ube nebinzana elifanelekileyo malunga nendlela yokubanceda," utsho uGilliland. "Yintoni abantu abafuna ukuyazi kukuba abodwa kwaye umntu uyakhathala."

Ewe, ilula kanjalo. Kodwa, heyi, ungumntu kwaye i-slip-ups iyenzeka. Mhlawumbi uqale ukuvakala kancinci njengomzali ofundisayo. Okanye mhlawumbi uqale ukunika iingcebiso ezingaceliyo nezingancediyo (okt "ukhe wazama ukucamngca mva nje?"). Kwimeko apho, "yima nje incoko, yamkele, kwaye uxolise," utshilo uGilliland, ondicebisa nokuhleka ngayo yonke le meko (ukuba iyaziva ilungile). "Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ugqibelele; kufuneka ukhathalele kwaye uzimisele ukubakho kwaye oko kunzima ngokwaneleyo. Kodwa liyeza elinamandla."

Ayisiyiyo nje into oyithethayo, kodwa Njani Wena Yitsho

Ngamanye amaxesha ukuhanjiswa yinto yonke. “Abantu bayazi xa izinto zingeyonyani; sinokuziva,” utshilo uWestbrook. Ugxininisa ukuba uvela kwindawo evulekileyo, enentliziyo evulekileyo, eya kunceda ekuqinisekiseni ukuba nokuba uyaphuthaza amagama, umntu osondeleyo kuwe uya kuziva ethandwa kwaye exabisekile.

Kwaye zama ukubabona ngobuqu (nokuba ziinyawo ezintandathu). Elona candelo libi malunga ne-COVID-19 kukuba into ebinokuba yimfuneko ukulawula intsholongwane [ukuncitshiswa kwentlalontle] iyoyikeka ebantwini,” utshilo uGilliland. "Eyona nto ilunge kakhulu ebantwini nakwimeko yethu yokunxulumana nabanye abantu, kwaye ubuso ngobuso benza izinto kunye, kunye nokuncokola okusinceda ukuba sicinge ngobomi ngokwahlukileyo- nokuba nje silibale malunga noxinzelelo lobomi. "

Ukuba awukwazi ukuzibona buqu, ucebisa ukuba ufowunelwe ividiyo okanye umnxeba. “I-Zoom ingcono kunokuthumela imiyalezo okanye ukuthumela i-imeyile; Ndicinga ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kungcono kunomnxeba oqhelekileyo,” utshilo uGilliland. (Idibeneyo: Indlela yokujongana noLulolo ukuba u-Self-Isolated ngexesha le-Coronavirus Outbreak)

Oko bekutshiwo, ezenziwayo kunye nezinto ongazenziyo ukuba ungathini kumntu oxinezelekileyo kuyafana nokuba yi-IRL okanye kwi-intanethi.

Ukuba Utheni kumntu oxinezelekileyo

Bonisa inkathalo nenkxalabo.

Zama ukuthi: "Bendifuna ukudlula kuba ndikhathazekile. Ubonakala udandathekile [okanye 'ulusizi,' 'uxakekile, njl. Njl.). Ingaba ikhona into endinokuyenza ukunceda?' enkulu D okanye "hayi wena" - ayibalulekanga kakhulu, utsho uTalley. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba uthatha indlela ethe ngqo (ngaphezulu koku kamva) kwaye ubonise inkxalabo kunye nenkathalo, uyachaza.

Cela ukuthetha okanye ukuchitha ixesha kunye.

Ngelixa kungekho mpendulo yokuba 'unokwenza ntoni kumntu odandathekileyo', kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuba uyazi ukuba ukhona, nokuba kukuthetha okanye ukuzipholela.

Unokuzama ukubakhupha endlwini okwexeshana- okoko iiprothokholi ezinobungane be-coronavirus (okt ukudideka kwezentlalo, ukunxiba imaski) zisenokwenzeka. Cebisa ngokuhamba kunye okanye ubambe ikomityi yekofu. UTalley uthi: “Uxinezeleko ludla ngokuhlutha abantu umnqweno wokubandakanyeka kwizinto ababekhe bazifumanisa ziluncedo kwixesha elidluleyo, ngoko ke kuluncedo olukhulu ukufumana umhlobo wakho odandathekileyo ukuba aphinde azibandakanye. (Inxulumene: Indlela endixhalabise ngayo ngobomi bam bonke indincedisile ukujongana neCoronavirus Panic)

Yiba ngumlandeli wabo # 1 (kodwa ungayibaxi).

Ngoku lixesha lakho lokubabonisa ukuba kutheni bexatyiswa kangaka kwaye bethandwa- ngaphandle kokuya ngaphezulu. "Kuhlala kukhuthaza ukuxelela ngokucacileyo umhlobo wakho okanye othandekayo ukuba ungumlandeli wabo omkhulu, kwaye nangona benobunzima bokubona ngaphaya komkhusane obumnyama owenziwe ludakumba, unokubona apho baya kuthi ekugqibeleni batyhale kwaye bakhululeke kumathandabuzo, usizi, okanye intlungu abanayo ngoku,” utsho uTalley.

Ngaba awufumani magama alungileyo ukuba uwatsho? Khumbula ukuba "ngamanye amaxesha isenzo sithetha kakhulu kunamazwi," yatsho inzululwazi yezengqondo uCaroline Leaf, Ph.D. Yehlisa isidlo sangokuhlwa, ujiwuze ngezinye iintyatyambo, thumela i-snail mail, kwaye "ubabonise nje ukuba ukhona ukuba bayakufuna," utsho uLeaf.

Buza nje ukuba baqhuba njani.

Ewe impendulo inokuba "yoyikeka," kodwa iingcali zikhuthaza ukumema incoko ngokulula (nangokunyanisekileyo) ngokubuza ukuba uqhuba njani umntu omthandayo. Bavumele bavule kwaye baphulaphule ngokwenene. Igama: mamela. "Cinga ngaphambi kokuba uphendule," utsho uLeaf. "Thatha ubuncinci imizuzwana engama-30-90 ukumamela into abayithethayo kuba le nto ithatha ixesha elide ukuba ingqondo isebenzise ulwazi. Ngale ndlela awuphenduli ngokungakhathali."

"Xa ungathandabuzeki mamela nje-sukuthetha kwaye ungaze ucebise," utshilo uGqirha Herrick. Ngokucacileyo, awufuni ukuthula cwaka. Ngelixa ukuba ligxalaba kumhlobo osweleyo yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuba novelwano, zama ukuthetha izinto ezinje ngala "Ndiyakuva." Ukuba ukhe wajongana nomceli mngeni wezempilo yengqondo ngaphambili, ungalisebenzisa eli xesha ukubonisa uvelwano kunye nokuzonwabisa. Cinga: "Ndiyazi ukuba le nto ibuhlungu kangakanani; ndikhe ndalapha, nam."

... kwaye ukuba ukhathalele ukhuseleko lwabo, yitsho into.

Ngamanye amaxesha-ngakumbi xa kuziwa kukhuseleko-kufuneka ube ngqo. “Ukuba unenkxalabo ngomhlobo wakho odandathekileyo okanye ukhuseleko lomntu omthandayo, buza nje,” ubongoza njalo uTalley. "Buza ngokucacileyo ukuba baye bacinga, okanye bacinga, ngokuzenzakalisa okanye ukuzibulala. Hayi, oku ngekhe kubangele umntu ukuba acinge ukuzibulala ebengazange nakanye anike ingcinga. Kodwa inokubangela umntu ocinga ukuzibulala. hamba ngendlela eyahlukileyo. "

Kwaye ngelixa uvakalelo lubalulekile kuzo zonke ezi ntlobo zencoko, kubaluleke kakhulu xa uchukumisa imixholo efana nokuzenzakalisa kunye nokuzibulala. Eli lixesha elihle lokugxininisa ukuba ulapha kangakanani kubo kwaye ufuna ukubanceda bazive ngcono. (Inxulumene: Yintoni ekufuneka wonke umntu ayazi malunga nokunyuka kwamaxabiso okuzibulala e-US)

Khumbula: Ukuzibulala yenye nje impawu zoxinzelelo- nangona, ewe, kunzima kakhulu kunokuthi ukuncipha kokuziva uzixabisile. "Kwaye nangona ihlasela abantu abaninzi njengengcamango engaqhelekanga okanye ingcinga engafunekiyo, ngamanye amaxesha ukudandatheka kunokuba nzima kangangokuba asibuboni ubomi obufanelekileyo bokuphila," kusho uGilliland. "Abantu boyika ukuba [ukubuza] kuya kunika umntu ingcamango [yokuzibulala]. Ndiyakuthembisa; awuyi kubanika ingcamango - ngokwenene unokusindisa ubomi babo."

Into Ongamele Uyithethe Kumntu Onoxinzelelo

Musa ukutsiba ekusombululeni iingxaki.

“Ukuba umntu odandathekileyo unqwenela ukuthetha ngoko kusengqondweni yakhe mamele,” utsho uTalley. Musa ukunika izicombululo ngaphandle kokuba oku kuceliwe. Kakade ke, kulungile ukuthetha into efana nale, 'Ngaba unokukukhathaza xa ndikucebisa okuthile?' kodwa kunqande ukuyenza ibe yingqungquthela yokusombulula iingxaki. "

Igqabi liyavuma. “Kuphephe ukujikela incoko kuwe okanye naliphi na icebiso onalo.Yiba khona, umamele izinto abazithethayo, kwaye uhlale ujonge kumava abo ngaphandle kokuba bajike bacele iingcebiso kuwe.

Kwaye ukuba yenza cela ingqiqo ethile, unokuthetha malunga nendlela yokufumana umnyangi linyathelo elikhulu lokuchacha (kwaye mhlawumbi ude wenze isiqhulo esibuhlungu malunga nendlela ongeyonyanga ngokwakho). Bakhumbuze ukuba kukho iingcali ezinezixhobo ezininzi zokubanceda bazive bebhetele. (Inxulumene: Ukufikeleleka kunye neNkxaso yeMithombo yezeMpilo yeNgqondo yaBamnyama Womxn)

Musa ukubeka ityala.

"Ukugxekazange izakuba yimpendulo, "utshilo uWestbrook." Zama ukususa umba kulomntu-uxoxe ngoxinzelelo ngokwento yayo ngaphandle kokuba ngubani lo mntu, kunokuba [uthi okanye uthethe] 'ngumntu oxinezelekileyo. . "

UTalley uthi ukuba ucinga ukuba le yinto ecacileyo, kufuneka wazi ukuba iyenzeka rhoqo kunokuba ucinga - kwaye ihlala ingazi. "Ngokungaqondanga, olu hlobo lokugxeka lunokuza xa abantu begxila ekusombululeni iingxaki, okuhlala kubandakanya ukulungisa ukusilela okubonakalayo kumntu oxinezelekileyo."

Ngokomzekelo, ukuxelela umntu ukuba "agxininise kwizinto ezilungileyo" -inkcazo yokuxazulula ingxaki - inokuqinisekisa ukuba ukudakumba kukho ngenxa yokuba umntu ugxininise kwizinto ezimbi. Awusoze ufune ukucebisa ngokungazi ukuba uxinzelelo yimpazamo yabo ... xa kunjalo, akunjalo.

Kuphephe ukuba netyhefu.

"Xa umntu omthandayo edandathekile, kuphephe ukuthetha izinto ezintle ezinje ngokuba, 'yonke into izakulunga ekugqibeleni' okanye 'ube nombulelo ngento onayo,'" utshilo uLeaf. bazive benetyala okanye baneentloni ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo okanye into yokuba abanako ukonwaba. "Olu luhlobo lokukhanyisa ngegesi.

Ungaze uthi "Akufanele Uzive Unjalo."

Kwakhona, oku kunokuthathwa njengokukhanya kwegesi kwaye akuloncedo kwaphela. "Khumbula, ukudandatheka kwabo akufani neempahla abazinxibayo. Ukuba ufuna ukunika iingcebiso malunga nezinto ozikhethayo umhlobo wakho / othandekayo, ngoko ubanike iingcebiso zefashoni, ukufunyanwa kwesondlo, okanye ukhetho lwakho lwamva nje / olukhulu. Kodwa sukubaxelela ukuba akufuneki babe noxinzelelo, utshilo uTalley.

Ukuba unzima kakhulu ukuba novelwano, thatha ixesha lokufumana ezinye izixhobo kwaye ufunde ngokudakumba kwi-intanethi (cinga: amabali amaninzi ezempilo yengqondo avela kwiiwebhusayithi ezithembekileyo, amaZiko ezeMpilo eSizwe, kunye nezincoko zomntu ezibhalwe ngabantu abanoxinzelelo. ) kwaye uzixhobise phambi kokuba ube nentliziyo entliziyweni nomntu obandezelekileyo ngenxa yokudakumba.

Ekugqibeleni, khumbula injongo yakho

I-Westbrook ikukhumbuza ngeli nqaku libaluleke kakhulu: "Injongo kukubafumana kwakhona kuboUyacacisa. "Xa bedandathekile, [ngokungathi] abasengabo abakuyo; abazenzi izinto abazithandayo, abalichithi ixesha nabo babathandayo. Sifuna [ukunceda] silususe uxinzelelo ukuze bakwazi ukubuyela kule ndawo bayiyo. baphinde badibana nochaso, bafuna wena ngakumbi kunangaphambili ngoku.

Uphengululo lwe