Uyiqonda njani kwaye uyigqithise imicimbi yokuzibophelela

Umxholo

• Okokuqala, izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzigcine engqondweni
• Iimpawu kuwe
• Awufuni ukuthandana ngokungathí sina
• Awucingi ngekamva lobudlelwane
• Uchitha ixesha elininzi ubuza ubudlelwane
• Awufuni ukwenza izicwangciso
• Awuziva unamathele ngokweemvakalelo
• Uziva ungonwabanga okanye ubanjisiwe xa iqabane lakho libonisa iimpawu zotyalo-mali
• Iimpawu kwiqabane lakho
• Ababonakali kutyalomali kubudlelwane okanye kuwe
• Abafuni ukuthetha ngekamva lobudlelwane
• Banobunzima bokuvula okanye babelane ngeengcinga ezinzulu
• Bathetha ngekamva, kodwa izicwangciso zabo azikubandakanyi
• Abayiphenduli imiyalezo yakho, iminxeba, okanye izicatshulwa zeentsuku
• Ukoyisa uloyiko lokuzibophelela
• Unyango lomntu ngamnye
• Unyango lwesibini
• Thetha ngayo
• Ziqhelise ukuzibophelela
• Yenze umkhwa wakho
• Khangela iqabane elihloniphayo iimfuno zakho
• Umgca wezantsi

Akuqhelekanga kubantu abaphepha ubudlelwane bexesha elide ukuva ukuba banemiba yokuzibophelela okanye ukwesaba ukuzibophelela. Abantu abaninzi basebenzisa la mabinzana ngokungakhathali, kodwa enyanisweni, ukuzibophelela (kunye noloyiko lwayo) kuhlala kunzima.

Ukuzibophelela ligama elibanzi, kodwa ngokubanzi kwehla ngokuzinikezela kwinto ixesha elide, nokuba kungumsebenzi, injongo, isixeko, okanye ubudlelwane.

Umxholo wemicimbi yokuzibophelela, nangona kunjalo, uhlala uvela rhoqo kwimeko yobudlelwane bezothando.

Ngaba ucinga ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho ninokoyika ukuzibophelela? Nazi izinto onokuzibukela:

Okokuqala, izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzigcine engqondweni

I-Intanethi igcwele ngemibuzo yokuhambelana, uluhlu lwezinto ezinombala obomvu, njalo njalo. Oku kunokuba kokonwaba- kwaye banokukunceda uqaphele izinto ezithile ngawe okanye ngolwalamano lwakho.

Kodwa khumbula ukuba imeko yakho eyodwa injalo: yahlukile.

Izintlu azikwazi ukuchonga okanye zithathele ingqalelo yonke into eyenzekayo kubudlelwane bakho, ke zithabathe (kubandakanya le) ngengqolowa yetyuwa.

Ukuba u yenza qaphela ezinye zezi zinto zilandelayo kuwe okanye kwiqabane lakho, oko akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buphelile.

Ngapha koko, imiba yokuzibophelela ayisoloko ivela kukoyika.

Ukukhuliswa komntu, imbali yosapho, okanye ezinye izinto ezinokuba nefuthe kwindlela umntu aziphatha ngayo kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo. Oku kunokwenza ukuba kube nzima ukuxelela umahluko phakathi komntu ongafuniyo ukuzibophelela kunye nomntu ojongana neminye imicimbi.

Okokugqibela, gcinani engqondweni ukuba ukuzibophelela akufani nothando. Kunokwenzeka ukuba ulithande iqabane lakho elithandanayo kwaye ube nengxaki ngokuzibophelela.

Iimpawu kuwe

Akusoloko kulula ukuqaphela xa ipateni yobudlelwane obufutshane imele ukuthandana ngethamsanqa elibi okanye xa ibonisa into ebaluleke ngakumbi.

Nazi ezinye zeempawu ezinokuthi zibonelele ngokucacileyo:

Awufuni ukuthandana ngokungathí sina

Ukufuna ukuthandana ngokukhululekileyo kwaye uphephe ubudlelwane obunzulu akuthethi ukuba woyika ukuzibophelela. Unokuba nesizathu esinye soku, okanye unokuba neziliqela.

Kodwa ukuba uhlala uziva isidingo sokuphelisa izinto xa ubudlelwane buqala ukudlula kwinqanaba eliqhelekileyo, nangona uyamthanda umntu ombonayo, unokuba noloyiko lokuzinikela olungasonjululwanga.

Awucingi ngekamva lobudlelwane

Ngexesha elithile kubudlelwane, uninzi lwabantu luchitha ubuncinci ixesha elincinci lokucinga malunga nokuba umntu othandana naye uza kwenza umdlalo wexesha elide.

Ukuba abakwazi ukubona ikamva, banokuphelisa ubudlelwane kwaye baqhubeke. Kodwa abanye abantu abaliniki ikamva ingcinga kwaphela-kwaye abafuni.

Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokufuna ukonwabela into onayo ngoku kunye neqabane. Kodwa ukungakwazi okwenyani okanye ukungavumi ukucinga malunga nenqanaba elilandelayo lobudlelwane kunokubonisa uloyiko lokuzibophelela, ngakumbi ukuba le yipatheni kubudlelwane bakho.

Uchitha ixesha elininzi ubuza ubudlelwane

Mhlawumbi wena yenza cinga ngekamva lobudlelwane bakho. Uneemvakalelo ezinamandla kwiqabane lakho, uzive unxibelelene kwaye uncanyathiselwe, kwaye ukonwabele ukuchitha ixesha kunye. Nangona kunjalo, awungekhe uyeke ukuzibuza izinto ezinje:

• “Ngaba bayandithanda ngokwenene?”
• "Kwenzeka ntoni emva koko?"
• “Ndikulungele oku?”
• "Ngaba ndifuna ukuba oku kusebenze?"

Kuqhelekile ukuba uzibuze imibuzo efana nale amaxesha ngamaxesha, ngakumbi ukuba umkhathalele ngokwenene umntu kwaye awufuni kuphulukana naye.

Ukubuza ubudlelwane rhoqo, nangona kunjalo, ukuya kuthi ga apho kuphazamisa ubudlelwane okanye kubangele uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, kunokucebisa ukuzibophelela koloyiko.

Awufuni ukwenza izicwangciso

Ngaba uyakuphepha ukwenza izicwangciso zomhla wangoLwesihlanu ebusuku kude kube nguLwesihlanu kusasa?

Ngaba unika iimpendulo ezingacacanga ezinje, "Mhlawumbi! Ndiza kukwazisa "okanye" Makhe ndibone ukuba ihamba njani iveki "xa umntu othandana naye ezama ukwenza izicwangciso?

Ngaba ukucinga ngezicwangciso osele uzenzile uxinzelelo kuwe uphela ufuna ukuzirhoxisa?

Ukungafuni ukwenza izicwangciso ngamanye amaxesha kucebisa ukuba awunamdla wokwenyani kumntu othandana naye, ngakumbi ukuba ubambe ukubanakho kwezicwangciso ezingcono.

Kodwa xa wena yenza njengaye lo mntu kwaye wonwabele ukuba kunye nabo, kodwa usaziva uxhalabile, umba unokuba kukuzibophelela.

Awuziva unamathele ngokweemvakalelo

Ukujonga ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane bezothando kubonisa ukuba iimvakalelo zokuzibophelela zinokukhula njengempendulo kwiimvakalelo zokukhathazeka okanye uloyiko lokulahlekelwa liqabane.

Ukuba uziva ukhuselekile kwaye ufuna ubudlelwane buqhubeke, kunokwenzeka ukuba wenze umsebenzi ofunekayo ukuze ubugcine.

Lo mzamo ubonakalisa ukuzibophelela kwakho kwaye unokunceda ukukhulula iimvakalelo zokuxhalaba malunga nekamva lolwalamano, ngakumbi ukuba iqabane lakho libonisa umdla ofanayo ekubandakanyekeni kwexesha elide.

Kodwa ukuba awuziva unamathele ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho, awunakukhathalela okanye ucinge kakhulu malunga nokuphulukana nabo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ninexesha elimnandi kunye, kodwa niyayikhupha ingcinga yokungaze ndibabone kwakhona. Wanelisekile ngokugqibeleleyo ukuze uqhubeke usenza into yakho.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukungadibanisi ngokweemvakalelo kuthetha nje ukuba umntu othandana naye ayingomdlalo ulungileyo kuwe. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyazi ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane kwaye ungaze uzive utyalomali ngokweemvakalelo kumaqabane akho, cinga ukuba ukuzibophelela koloyiko kunokukubamba.

Uziva ungonwabanga okanye ubanjisiwe xa iqabane lakho libonisa iimpawu zotyalo-mali

Ezi mvakalelo zinokuvela ngaphandle kokuba uziqonde ngokupheleleyo.

Umzekelo, xa iqabane lakho lisithi "ndiyakuthanda" okokuqala, unokuziva wonwabile. Kodwa kamva, xa ucinga ngayo, uqala ukuba nexhala kwaye uzibuze ukuba kuthetha ntoni oko okanye kuza kwenzeka ntoni emva koko.

Unokuziva unomdla wokubaleka, nokuba ufuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane okanye hayi.

Iimpawu kwiqabane lakho

Xa ulungele ubudlelwane obunzulu kodwa iqabane lakho libonakala linelisekile ngezinto ezihlala zinjalo, ungaqala ukuzibuza ukuba ingaba bafuna izinto ezifanayo ozenzayo.

Le miqondiso ilandelayo inokucebisa ukuba uthandana nomntu onoloyiko lokuzibophelela. Kodwa kunzima ukwazi ukuba ngaba le yimiqondiso yokuzibophelela ngaphandle kokuba uthethe nabo ngezizathu ezibangela ukuba baziphathe.

Ukuba ukhathazekile ngokuzibophelela kweqabane lakho, incoko evulekileyo, ethembekileyo linyathelo lokuqala elifanelekileyo.

Okwangoku, nantsi eminye imiqondiso yokuzibophelela koloyiko kwiqabane:

Ababonakali kutyalomali kubudlelwane okanye kuwe

Oku kunokubonisa ngeendlela ezininzi. Banokubazi bonke abahlobo bakho kodwa bangaze bakwazise nakowuphi na kubo. Mhlawumbi babalisa amabali amnandi kodwa babonakala ngathi abanamdla wokuthetha ngeemvakalelo zabo okanye ubomi bemihla ngemihla (okanye obakho).

Unokuqaphela ukungabikho komdla ekwenzeni naziphi na izicwangciso ezingekho kwikamva elikufutshane.

Oku kungathandeki akusoloko kubonakala. Umzekelo, banokuvakala benomdla ukuba ucebisa uhambo okanye iholide kodwa ube nesizathu okanye ucwangcise ungquzulwano xa uzama ukunciphisa usuku oluthile.

Kungenzeka ukuba iqabane lakho lifune ukuchitha ixesha kunye nawe. Banokulwela nje ukuzibophelela okubandakanyekileyo.

Abafuni ukuthetha ngekamva lobudlelwane

Ukuba kudala ubona umntu omthandayo iinyanga ezininzi, ungaqala ukucinga malunga nobudlelwane obunokuphuhla. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, niyahambelana, niyonwabela inkampani yomnye nomnye - kutheni ke ungathandani nzulu ngakumbi?

Iqabane elinokuzibophelela kuloyiko linokuba nobunzima kule ncoko. Banokutshintsha umxholo okanye banike iimpendulo ezingacacanga xa ubuza ukuba baziva njani.

Banokuthi ngento enje, "Masizonwabele ngaphandle kokuzama ukuchaza izinto." Banokuthi baphume baphele bathi abafuni ukuzibophelela.

Ukuba ufuna ukuzibophelela, ezi mpendulo zihlala zibonisa ukuba umntu ombonayo akanako ukubonelela ngento oyifunayo noyifunayo.

Banobunzima bokuvula okanye babelane ngeengcinga ezinzulu

Ukuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo kunceda abantu basondele.

Kubudlelwane obomeleleyo, amaqabane ahlala efunda malunga namanye ngokwexabiso elilinganayo njengoko ixesha lihamba. Unokuthetha ngokudlula kwakho, amava obuntwana, iinjongo zekamva, ifilosofi yobomi, kunye neemvakalelo, kubandakanya iimvakalelo zomnye nomnye okanye uvakalelo kwabanye abantu okanye iimeko.

Umntu onobunzima bokuzibophelela usenokungavuli ngokukhawuleza, nokuba sele kudlule iinyanga. Incoko yakho inokuhlala ikhululekile kwaye ilula, ingaze isondelelane ngakumbi okanye ichukumise naziphi na iimvakalelo ezinzulu okanye amava.

Ukuba nzima ekubeni sesichengeni kunokuthetha ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna nje ixesha. Kodwa inokunxibelelana noloyiko lokuzibophelela.

Bathetha ngekamva, kodwa izicwangciso zabo azikubandakanyi

Abanye abantu abakuphephayo ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane bezothando banexesha elinzima lokuzibophelela kwezinye iinkalo zobomi. Basenokungayithandi into yokuziva ubanjiwe okanye ubotshelelwe kulo naliphi na ikamva okanye iziphumo. Kodwa oku akusoloko kunjalo.

Kulula ukuba buhlungu xa umntu othandana naye ethetha ngekamva elingabonakali likuquka, ngakumbi ukuba izinto zibonakala zisiba mbi ngakumbi ngokwembono yakho.

Mhlawumbi bayaqhubeka nokucwangcisa uhambo kunye neeholide zabo okanye izihlobo zabo ngaphandle kokukumema. Okanye mhlawumbi bathetha ngochulumanco kwaye ngokweenkcukacha ezinkulu malunga nephupha lendlu yesitudiyo abanakulinda ukubeka idiphozithi kuyo.

Kungenzeka nje ukuba abafuni ukucinga ukuba uya kuqhubeka uthandana. Mhlawumbi abanikanga ubudlelwane bexesha elide becinga kakhulu.

Kodwa le miqondiso ingabonisa ukuba eli qabane alikakulungelanga ukuzibophelela.

Abayiphenduli imiyalezo yakho, iminxeba, okanye izicatshulwa zeentsuku

Ukuba uthandana nomntu okwethutyana, ungaqala ukuqaphela iphethini kwiimpendulo zabo. Banokuthula emva kwentsimbi yesi-8.xa ukhululeka ngaphambi kokulala okanye ungakuphenduli konke konke ngexesha lomsebenzi.

Ngokubanzi, kusengqiqweni ukulindela ukuba iqabane lakho liphendule ngaphakathi kosuku ixesha elininzi, ngaphandle kokuba uyazi ukuba abayi kubakho ngesizathu esithile.

Ukuba uhlala ungafumani mpendulo, ngakumbi xa uzama ukwenza izicwangciso, okanye ufumana iimpendulo ezingaphenduliyo ngokupheleleyo umbuzo wakho, unokufuna ukuzisa oku buqu.

Kungenzeka ukuba iqabane lakho alithandi ukuthumela imiyalezo. Kodwa oku kunokubonisa ukungafumaneki ngokweemvakalelo.

Nokuba sithini na isizathu, abanakho ukuzibophelela kuyo nayiphi na into eyenye.

Ukoyisa uloyiko lokuzibophelela

Imicimbi yokuzibophelela kubudlelwane ayisoloko iyingxaki.

Ixesha elide, ubudlelwane beqabane elinye abukho kubo bonke abantu. Baninzi abantu abaphila ubomi babo, bonwabile ukuhlala bengatshatanga okanye ukuthandana namaqabane ahlukeneyo, ngaphandle kokutshata okanye ukuhlala phantsi.

Abanye abantu bakulungele ngokupheleleyo ukuzibophelela ekubandakanyeni ixesha elide, hayi nomntu omnye kuphela.

Okwangoku, ukuba ufuna ukukhulisa ukuzibophelela kwakho okanye uzive ngathi kukho into yokoyika ekubambezelayo, jonga ezi ndlela:

Unyango lomntu ngamnye

Unyango yindawo elungileyo ukuqala ukuvavanya izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba ukuzibophelela kube ngumceli mngeni kuwe.

Ezi zizathu zinokubekwa kubudlelwane obudlulileyo, amava obuntwana, okanye isimbo sakho sokuncamathisela.

Inokukunceda ukuthetha nonyango ukuba nayiphi na imiqondiso ingasentla ivakala kuwe. Banokukunceda ujongane noloyiko lokuzibophelela ngovelwano, ngendlela engenasigwebo.

Ukuba uloyiko lwakho lokuzibophelela lubangela uxinzelelo okanye olunye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, unyango lunokunceda apho, nalo.

Ugqirha unokubonelela ngenkxaso kunyango lomntu omnye ukuba indlela yokuziphatha kweqabane lakho ichaphazela impilo yakho yeemvakalelo, kodwa unyango lwezibini lunokuba yenye indawo yokusebenzela kule nto.

Unyango lwesibini

Ukuba ulithanda ngokwenyani iqabane lakho kwaye ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze, kodwa kukho into ekubambezelayo kwaye ikuthintele ekuthatheni amanyathelo ngokuzibophelela, unyango lwezibini lunokunceda.

Ukusondelana kunye nokuzibophelela akufani, kodwa bahlala behambelana. Abantu abanengxaki enye banokuba nobunzima nomnye.

Ingcali yezithandani ezinamava zinokukunceda wena neqabane lakho nijonge le mingeni kwaye niqale ukusebenza ngayo ukuphuhlisa intsebenziswano eyomeleleyo.

Unyango lwesibini lusebenza kakuhle xa wena neqabane lakho nisabelana ngeenjongo ezifanayo zobudlelwane. Kodwa nokuba omnye kuni ufuna enye into, okanye omnye okanye nina nobabini aniqinisekanga ncam ukuba nifuna ntoni na, unyango lwesibini lunokukunceda ukuba uphonononge oku, nawe.

Thetha ngayo

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukubeka nje igama kuloyiko lwakho kunokukunceda uzive ngcono ngalo. Ukuba ukhathalele iqabane lakho kodwa uyazi ukuba unemicimbi yokuzibophelela, zama ukuthetha nabo.

Bazise indlela oziva ngayo ngabo nolwalamano kwaye uzame ukubaxelela kanye le nto woyikayo, ukuba kunokwenzeka.

Unokuthetha into enje, “Ndakhe ndahamba noqhawulo-mtshato olubi kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, kwaye kwandithatha ixesha elide ukuba ndiphinde ndichache. Ndiyoyika ukudlula kulonto kwakhona. Ndiyakukhathalela, kwaye ndiyathanda ukuba iyaphi le nto, kodwa ndifuna ixesha elingakumbi lokuziqhelanisa nombono wokuba kubudlelwane. ”

Ziqhelise ukuzibophelela

Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nobabini nifuna ubudlelwane benu buphumelele kodwa omnye okanye nobabini ninoloyiko lokuzibophelela, inokunceda ekuphuhliseni imikhwa yokuzibophelela kunye.

Yenze umkhwa wakho

Zama la manyathelo okuzibophelela kosana:

• Chitha ubusuku kunye.
• Chitha impelaveki kunye kunye iimayile ezimbalwa ngaphandle kwedolophu.
• Bamba izandla esidlangalaleni okanye kufutshane nabantu obaziyo.
• Thetha ngezinto ongathanda ukuzenza kunye ngexesha elahlukileyo kwaye ubone ukuba uziva njani. Umzekelo, mhlawumbi nobabini nifuna ukucinga ngokwenza ezinye izicwangciso zokukhempisha kwihlobo elizayo.
• Yenza izicwangciso kunye ngeveki, iiveki ezi-2, kunye nenyanga kwangaphambili. Umceli mngeni kuwe ukugcina ezo zicwangciso.
• Jonga iiflethi okanye izindlu kunye, ukuba kulapho ulwalamano lwakho lukhokele khona. Oku kunokuba lula njengokuhambahamba kwindawo oyithandayo kunye nokucinga malunga nokuba kuya kuba njani na ukubelana ngendawo kunye neqabane lakho.

Ukuba uloyiko okanye ixhala liza kuwe xa usenza ezi zinto, thetha ngazo kunye neqabane lakho.

Khangela iqabane elihloniphayo iimfuno zakho

Ukuba uyazi ukuba udinga ixesha lokuziva ukhuselekile kubudlelwane, kunokukunceda ukuthandana nomntu ongafuneki ukuba achithe rhoqo ngokuhlwa simahla kunye kwaye ongazukucinezela ukuba uzenze kwangoko.

Oku kunokuxhomekeka kwinto oyifunayo kwiqabane, ewe. Kodwa umntu okhokelela kubomi obuxakekileyo unokuba ulungile ukuba uyazi ukuba ufuna indawo eninzi kunye nexesha lodwa.

Ukuba awukuthandi ukuchukunyiswa rhoqo, iqabane elinezandla ngakumbi linokulunga ngcono kunomntu ofuna uthando olukhulu lomzimba.

Umgca wezantsi

Ukoyika ukuzibophelela sisihloko esikhohlisayo. Uluhlu lwezinto zinokuba negalelo kuyo, kwaye ezo zinto zinokwahluka kuye ngomntu umntu.

Ngelixa imiba yokuzibophelela inokwenza ukuthandana kube nzima ngakumbi, ayenzi ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, bexesha elide kungenzeki. Izinto zinokuthatha nje umsebenzi omninzi kunye nonxibelelwano oluthembekileyo.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.