Ngaba iminyaka yokuQala yesi-7 yoBomi iyinyani yonke into?

Umxholo

• Kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi, ingqondo ikhula ngokukhawuleza kwinkqubo yayo yemephu
• Izimbo zokuncamathisela zichaphazela indlela umntu abuhlakulela ngayo ubudlelwane bexesha elizayo
• Ngeminyaka esi-7, abantwana bafaka iziqwenga kunye
• Ngaba 'kulungile ngokwaneleyo' ngokwaneleyo?

Xa kufikwa ekukhuleni komntwana, kuye kwathiwa ezona zinto zibalulekileyo ebomini bomntwana zenzeka xa eneminyaka eyi-7. Ngapha koko, isithandi sobulumko esikhulu esingumGrike u-Aristotle wakhe wathi, “Ndinike umntwana ade abeneminyaka esi-7. nguwe indoda. ”

Njengomzali, ukuthatha le ithiyori entliziyweni kunokubangela amaza oxinzelelo. Ngaba impilo yentombi yam iyonke yokuqonda kunye neyengqondo imiselwe ngokwenene kwiintsuku ezingama-2,555 zokuqala zobukho bayo?

Kodwa njengeendlela zokuba ngumzali, ithiyori yophuhliso lwabantwana nayo inokuba yeyamandulo kwaye ingavunywa. Umzekelo, ko, oogqirha babantwana bakholelwa ekubeni ukondla iintsana ngobisi olungumgubo kwakungcono kunokuncancisa. Kwaye kwakungekho kudala ukuba oogqirha babecinga ukuba abazali baya "konakalisa" iintsana zabo ngokubabamba kakhulu. Namhlanje, zozibini ezi zimvo ziye zathotywa.

Ngale nyani engqondweni, kuya kufuneka sibuze ukuba ikhona na kutshanje uphando luyayixhasa ingcinga ka-Aristotle. Ngamanye amagama, ngaba ikhona incwadi yokudlala yabazali yokuqinisekisa impumelelo nolonwabo lwabantwana bethu?

Njengamacandelo amaninzi obuzali, impendulo ayimnyama okanye mhlophe. Ngelixa ukudala imeko-bume ekhuselekileyo yabantwana bethu kubalulekile, iimeko ezingafezekanga ezinjengokwenzakala kwangethuba, ukugula, okanye ukwenzakala akuthethi ukuba impilo-ntle yomntwana wethu iphela. Ke iminyaka yokuqala esixhenxe yobomi ayinakuthetha yonke into, ubuncinci hayi ngendlela enesiphelo - kodwa izifundo zibonisa ukuba le minyaka isixhenxe ibambe ukubaluleka komntwana wakho ekuphuhliseni izakhono zentlalo.

Kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi, ingqondo ikhula ngokukhawuleza kwinkqubo yayo yemephu

Idatha evela kwiYunivesithi yaseHarvard ibonisa ukuba ingqondo ikhula ngokukhawuleza kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi. Phambi kokuba abantwana babe neminyaka emi-3 ubudala, sele besenza uqhagamshelo lwe-1 yezigidi zemizuzu ngemizuzu nganye. La makhonkco aba yinkqubo yemaphu yobuchopho, eyenziwe ngokudityaniswa kwendalo kunye nokondla, ngakumbi "ukukhonza kunye nokubuyisa" ukuhlangana.

Kunyaka wokuqala wokuzalwa wosana, ukukhala ziimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokondla kwabongi. Ukusebenzisana kunye nokubuyela koku kulapha xa umnakekeli ephendula ukukhala komntwana ngokubondla, ngokutshintsha i-diaper yabo, okanye ngokubagungxisa ukuba balale.

Nangona kunjalo, njengoko abantwana beba bancinci, bakhonze kwaye babuyele ukuhlangana kunokubonakaliswa ngokudlala imidlalo yokukhohlisa, nabo. Oku kunxibelelana kuxelela abantwana ukuba uhoye kwaye ubandakanyekile kwinto abazama ukuyithetha. Inokwenza isiseko sendlela umntwana afunda ngayo izithethe zentlalo, izakhono zonxibelelwano, kunye nolwalamano kunye nokuhamba.

Njengomntwana omncinci, intombi yam yayithanda ukudlala umdlalo apho yayicima izibane ithi, "Lala!" Ndandiye ndivale amehlo ndize ndibhabhe esofeni, ndimenza agigitye. Emva koko wayeyalela ukuba ndivuke. Iimpendulo zam bezingqinisisa, kwaye ukuhlangana kwethu ngasemva nangaphandle kwaba yintliziyo yomdlalo.

U-Hilary Jacobs Hendel, ugqirha wezifo zengqondo ogxile kwi-attachment kunye ne-trauma uthi: "Siyazi ngokusuka kwi-neuroscience. Uxhumano lwe-Neural lufana neengcambu zomthi, isiseko apho konke ukukhula kwenzeka khona, utshilo.

Oku kwenza ukuba kubonakale ngathi uxinzelelo lobomi-njengokukhathazeka kwezezimali, iingxaki zobudlelwane, kunye nokugula-kuya kuba nefuthe elibi ekukhuleni komntwana wakho, ngakumbi ukuba baphazamisa ukusebenza kwakho kunye nokubuyisa ukuhlangana. Kodwa ngelixa uloyiko lokuba ishedyuli yomsebenzi oxakeke kakhulu okanye ukuphazamiseka kwee-smartphones kunokubangela ukuhlala ixesha elide, iziphumo ezibi kunokuba yinkxalabo, azenzi namnye umntu ukuba ngumzali ombi.

Amaxesha athile aphosiweyo okusebenza kunye nokubuyisa imikhwa ayizukumisa ukukhula kwengqondo yomntwana wethu. Kungenxa yokuba ixesha "eliphosakeleyo" eliphakathi alisoloko liba ziipatheni ezingasebenzi kakuhle. Kodwa kubazali abanexinzelelo lobomi oluqhubekayo, kubalulekile ukuba ungakutyesheli ukuzibandakanya nabantwana bakho kule minyaka yokuqala. Izixhobo zokufunda ezinje ngengqondo zinokunceda abazali ukuba babe "babekhona" ngakumbi nabantwana babo.

Ngokujonga umzuzu wangoku kunye nokunciphisa iziphazamiso zemihla ngemihla, ingqalelo yethu iya kuba nexesha elilula lokuqaphela izicelo zomntwana wethu zonxibelelwano. Ukusebenzisa olu lwazi sisakhono esibalulekileyo: Ukunceda kunye nokubuyisa ukuhlangana kunokuchaphazela isitayile sokuncamathisela komntwana, kuchaphazele indlela ababuphucula ngayo ubudlelwane bexesha elizayo.

Izimbo zokuncamathisela zichaphazela indlela umntu abuhlakulela ngayo ubudlelwane bexesha elizayo

Izitayile zokuncamathisela yenye yecandelo elibalulekileyo lokukhula komntwana. Zivela kumsebenzi weengqondo zengqondo uMary Ainsworth. Ngo-1969, uAinsworth wenza uphando olwaziwa ngokuba "yimeko engaqhelekanga". Uqwalasele indlela abantwana abasabela ngayo xa umama wabo ephuma egumbini, kunye nendlela abasabela ngayo xa ebuya. Ngokusekwe ekuqwalaseleni kwakhe, wagqiba kwelokuba zine iindlela zokuncamathisela abantwana abanokuba nazo:

• ikhuselekile
• unxunguphalo
• ixhala-liphepha
• ukungalungelelani

I-Ainsworth ifumanise ukuba abantwana abakhuselekileyo baziva bebandezelekile xa umgcini wabo ehamba, kodwa bathuthuzeleka ekubuyeni kwabo. Kwelinye icala, abantwana abaxhalabileyo banokungonwabi ngaphambi kokuba lowo umgcinayo ahambe kwaye abambelele ekubuyeni kwabo.

Abantwana abanoxhala abanakuchukunyiswa kukungabikho komgcini wabo, kwaye abonwabanga xa bengena kwakhona kwigumbi. Emva koko kukho uncamathiselo olungalungelelananga. Oku kusebenza kubantwana abaphethwe gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Ukuncamatheliswa okungalungelelaniswanga kwenza ukuba kubenzima ebantwaneni ukuba bazive bethuthuzelwa ngabanonopheli - nokuba abo babakhathaleleyo abenzakalisi.

UHendel uthi: “Ukuba abazali‘ balunge ngokwaneleyo ’ukuba babakhathalele kwaye bayabazi abantwana babo, ixesha elingange-30 leepesenti, umntwana uba nolwalamano olukhuselekileyo. Uyongeza, "Ukuncamathisela kukomelela ukuhlangabezana nemiceli mngeni yobomi." Kwaye ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo sisitayile esifanelekileyo.

Abantwana abaqhotyoshelwe ngokukhuselekileyo banokuziva belusizi xa abazali babo bemka, kodwa bayakwazi ukuhlala bethuthuzelwa ngabanye abanonopheli. Bonwabile xa abazali babo bebuya, bebonisa ukuba bayaluqonda ulwalamano oluthembekileyo noluthembekileyo. Njengokukhula, abantwana abancanyathiselwe ngokukhuselekileyo baxhomekeke kubudlelwane nabazali, ootitshala, kunye nabahlobo ukuze babakhokele. Balujonga olu nxibelelwano njengeendawo "ezikhuselekileyo" apho iimfuno zabo zifezekisiwe.

Izitayile zokuncamathisela zibekwe kwasekuqaleni ebomini kwaye zinokuchaphazela ulwalamano lomntu kunye nokuba mdala. Njengengcali yengqondo, ndibone indlela isitayile sokuncamathisela esinokuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane babo obusondeleyo. Umzekelo, abantu abadala abanabazali abazikhathaleleyo iimfuno zabo zokhuseleko ngokubabonelela ngokutya kunye nendawo yokuhlala kodwa bengazinanzanga iimfuno zabo zeemvakalelo kunokwenzeka ukuba bakhulise isitayile sokuncamathisela.

Aba bantu badala bahlala besoyika ukunxibelelana kakhulu kwaye banokuthi "babalale" abanye ukuzikhusela kwiintlungu. Abantu abadala abaxhalabileyo abanokoyika ukushiywa, babenze babe novakalelo lokugatywa.

Kodwa ukuba nesimbo esithile sokuncamathisela asikokuphela kwebali. Ndinyange abantu abaninzi abebengaqhotyoshelwanga ngokukhuselekileyo, kodwa ndivelise iipateni ezinempilo ngokuza kunyango.

Ngeminyaka esi-7, abantwana bafaka iziqwenga kunye

Ngelixa iminyaka esixhenxe yokuqala ingaluchazi ulonwabo lomntwana ebomini, ingqondo ekhula ngokukhawuleza ilele isiseko esomeleleyo sendlela yokunxibelelana nokunxibelelana nehlabathi ngokuqhubekeka nendlela abaphendulwa ngayo.

Ngexesha abafikelela ngalo abantwana, baqala ukwahlukana nabanonopheli bokuqala ngokwenza izihlobo zabo. Baqala ukulangazelela ukwamkelwa ngoontanga kwaye baxhotyiswe ngakumbi ukuba bathethe ngeemvakalelo zabo.

Xa intombi yam yayineminyaka esixhenxe ubudala, wakwazi ukuwuchaza umnqweno wakhe wokufumana umhlobo olungileyo. Uye waqalisa ukubeka iikhonsepthi kunye njengendlela yokubonisa iimvakalelo zakhe.

Umzekelo, wayekhe wandibiza ngokuba "sisifo sentliziyo" ngenxa yokwala ukumnika ilekese ukuphuma kwesikolo. Xa ndambuza ukuba achaze "umophula intliziyo," waphendula ngokuchanekileyo, "Ngumntu olimaza iimvakalelo zakho kuba akakuniki into oyifunayo."

Abantwana abaneminyaka esixhenxe banokwenza intsingiselo enzulu yolwazi olubangqongileyo. Banokukwazi ukuthetha ngesikweko, bebonisa amandla okucinga ngokubanzi. Intombi yam yakha yabuza imsulwa, “Iza kuyeka nini imvula ukudanisa?” Engqondweni yakhe, ukuhamba kwemvula kwakufana nomdaniso.

Ngaba 'kulungile ngokwaneleyo' ngokwaneleyo?

Isenokungavakali ngathi kukulangazelela, kodwa ukuba ngumzali "ngokwaneleyo" - Oko kukuthi, ukwanelisa iimfuno zomzimba nezemvakalelo zabantwana ngokubenzela ukutya, ukubalalisa ebhedini ubusuku ngabunye, ukuphendula iimpawu zoxinzelelo, kunye nokonwabela ixesha lokonwaba- kunokunceda abantwana bakhule unxibelelwano olusempilweni lwe-neural.

Kwaye oku kunceda ukwakha isitayile sokuncamathisela okukhuselekileyo kwaye kunceda abantwana bahlangabezane namanqanaba okukhula ngokuthe ngcembe. Kwinqanaba lokungena "kwi-twearant," abantwana abaneminyaka esi-7 ubudala baye benza imisebenzi emininzi yokukhula komntwana, bemisela inqanaba lesigaba esilandelayo sokukhula.

Njengonina, njengentombi; njengotata, nonyana - ngeendlela ezininzi, la magama amadala ayangqineka eyinyaniso njengoAristotle. Njengabazali, asinakulawula yonke imiba yentlalontle yomntwana wethu. Kodwa into esinokuyenza kukuseta ukuba baphumelele ngokuzibandakanya nabo njengomntu omdala onokuthenjwa. Sinokubabonisa indlela esilawula ngayo iimvakalelo ezinkulu, ukuze xa befumana ubudlelwane babo obungaphumeleliyo, uqhawulo-mtshato, okanye uxinzelelo lomsebenzi, bakwazi ukucinga ngendlela uMama okanye uTata abasabele ngayo xa babesebancinci.