Eli bali leBhinqa eliBodwa lokuma ngeBali liya kukushiya uphefumlelwe

Umxholo

• Isigqibo esitshintsha ubomi
• Uxilongo oluguqula ubomi
• Ilizwi elilungileyo lokwazisa nge-HIV

Ndadibana nommeli we-HIV uKamaria Laffrey ngo-2012 xa ndandisebenza njengomhlohli wezempilo kulutsha. U-Laffrey uthethe kumsitho esiye kuwo sobabini, apho athethe ngobomi bakhe obakhokelela ekubeni afunyaniswe ene-HIV.

Ndandinomdla kakhulu kwinkalipho yakhe yokuveza isimo sakhe se-HIV kunye nemiceli mngeni awayejamelene nayo yokuphila nentsholongwane- ibali apho abantu abaninzi abaphila ne-HIV boyika ukulibalisa. Eli libali likaLaffrey lokuba wayifumana njani i-HIV kunye nendlela eyabutshintsha ngayo ubomi bakhe.

Isigqibo esitshintsha ubomi

Ngelixa iindlela zokuziphatha ngokwesondo zitshintshile kakhulu kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo, kusekho izinto ezininzi ezilindelweyo, ukuphoxeka, kunye neemvakalelo ezihamba nesondo, ngakumbi xa kufikwa kubusuku nje obungaqhelekanga. Kubafazi abaninzi, iziphumo zokuma ubusuku obunye zinokukhokelela kwityala, iintloni, kunye nehlazo.

Kodwa kuLaffrey, ukuma kobusuku obunye kwatshintsha kakhulu ebomini bakhe kuneemvakalelo zakhe. Yayinomphumo kuye ngonaphakade.

Ngexesha lokufunda kwakhe ekholejini, uLaffrey ukhumbula ukuba nabahlobo abanomtsalane, kodwa uhlala eziva engekho ndawo. Ngobunye ubusuku, emva kokuba umntu awayehlala naye eshiye ukuhlangana nomfana, uLaffrey wagqiba kwelokuba naye azonwabise.

Wayengumfana awayedibene naye ethekweni kwiveki ephelileyo. Yonwabile ngomnxeba wakhe, uLaffrey akazange afune lukhulu kuye ukuba azithengise. Emva kweyure, wayephandle elinde ukuba amlande.

“Ndiyakhumbula ndime ngaphandle ndimlindile… Ndiqaphele iloli yokuhambisa ipitsa ngaphaya kwendlela nezibane zayo ... loo moto ihleli apho yahlala phaya,” uyakhumbula. “Le ngqondo ingaqhelekanga yandifikela kwaye ndazi ukuba ndinexesha lokubaleka ndibuyele egumbini lam ndiyilibale yonke loo nto. Kodwa kwakhona, bendinendawo yokubonisa. Yayinguye [owayekwitraki ye-pizza] ndaza ndahamba. ”

Ngobo busuku, uLaffrey kunye nomhlobo wakhe omtsha batshayisa, besiya kwizindlu ezahluka-hlukeneyo bayokuziselela. Njengobusuku bancipha, babuyela endaweni yakhe kwaye, njengoko isitsho intetho, enye into ikhokelele kwenye.

Kuze kube kweli nqanaba, ibali likaLaffrey alikho lodwa. Akufanele kumangalise ukungabikho kokusetyenziswa kwekhondom kwaye ukusela zizinto ezimbini eziqhelekileyo ezixhaphakileyo kulutsha lwekholeji. Ukusetyenziswa kwekhondomu kunye nokusela kakhulu phakathi kwabafundi beekholeji, iipesenti ezingama-64 zabathathi-nxaxheba baxela ukuba abasoloko besebenzisa ikhondom xa besabelana ngesondo. Isifundo sikwabandakanya nefuthe lotywala ekwenziweni kwezigqibo.

Uxilongo oluguqula ubomi

Kodwa emva kuLaffrey: Kwiminyaka emibini emva kokuma kwakhe kobusuku obunye, wadibana nomfo omkhulu kwaye wathandana. Wayenomntwana naye. Ubomi babumnandi.

Emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa ebelekile, ugqirha wakhe wambizela eofisini. Bamhlalisa phantsi bachaza ukuba une-HIV. Yinto eqhelekileyo oogqirha ukunika oomama abaza kuba luvavanyo lwezifo ezosulela ngokwabelana ngesondo (STDs). Kodwa uLaffrey akazange alindele ukufumana esi siphumo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, wayenokwabelana ngesondo ngokungakhuselekanga nabantu ababini ebomini bakhe: umfana awadibana naye kwiminyaka emibini ngaphambili ekholejini kunye notata womntwana wakhe.

“Ndaziva ngathi ndiyasilela ebomini, ndiza kufa, kwaye kwakungekho kubuya mva,” ukhumbula uKamaria. “Bendinexhala ngentombi yam, akekho umntu owake wandithanda, engaze atshate, kwaye onke amaphupha am engenantsingiselo. Ngalo mzuzu e-ofisini kagqirha, ndandisele ndiqalisile ukucwangcisa umngcwabo wam. Nokuba ndivela kwi-HIV okanye ndithatha ubomi bam, bendingafuni ukujongana nokudanisa abazali bam okanye ukunxulunyaniswa nebala. ”

Utata wosana lwakhe wavavanywa engenayo i-HIV. Kulapho uLaffrey wajongana khona nokuqonda okumangalisayo ukuba indawo yakhe yobusuku obunye yayingumthombo. Umfo owayethwele ilori yepitsa wayemshiye elusizi ngaphezu kokuba wayecinga.

"Abantu bayabuza ukuba ndazi njani ukuba ibinguye: Ngenxa yokuba ibinguye kuphela umntu endikunye naye - ngaphandle kokuzikhusela - ngaphandle koyise wosana lwam. Ndiyazi utata womntwana wam uye wavavanywa kwaye akanayo. Unabo nabanye abantwana ukusukela emntwaneni wam nabanye abafazi kwaye bonke bane-negative.

Ilizwi elilungileyo lokwazisa nge-HIV

Ngelixa ibali likaLaffrey lelinye labaninzi, inqaku lakhe linamandla amakhulu. inika ingxelo yokuba e-United States kuphela, kukho i-1.1 yezigidi zabantu abaphila nentsholongwane kaGawulayo, kwaye umntu om-1 kwaba-7 akazi ukuba banayo.

Kwanaxa umama ene-HIV. Emva kovavanyo oluninzi lwe-HIV kunye nokujonga ngokusondeleyo, kwagqitywa ukuba umntwana kaLaffrey wayengenayo i-HIV. Namhlanje, uLaffrey usebenza ukufundisa ukuzithemba kwintombi yakhe, into athi idlala indima enkulu kwimpilo yezesondo. "Ndigxininisa indlela amele azithande ngayo kuqala kwaye angalindeli ukuba nabani na ambonise indlela yokuthandwa," utshilo.

Ngaphambi kokudibana ne-HIV ubuso ngobuso, uLaffrey akazange acinge kakhulu ngee-STD. Ngaloo ndlela, mhlawumbi ufana nabaninzi bethu. “Eyona nto indixhalabisayo ngezifo ezingumvuka wokwabelana ngesondo ngaphambi kokuba ndifunyanwe yayikukuba ndandingaziva zimpawu emva koko kufanelekile. Ndiyazi ukuba kukho ezinye ezingenazo iimpawu, kodwa ndicinga ukuba ngabantu ‘abangcolileyo’ kuphela abanazo, ”utshilo.

U-Laffrey ngoku ungummeli wolwazi nge-HIV kwaye wabelana ngebali lakhe kumaqonga amaninzi. Uhambela phambili ngobomi bakhe. Ngelixa engasekho notata womntwana wakhe, utshatile umntu ongutata omkhulu kunye nomyeni ozinikeleyo. Uyaqhubeka nokubalisa ibali lakhe ngethemba lokusindisa ukuzithemba kwabasetyhini-ngamanye amaxesha nobomi babo.

U-Alisha Bridges uye walwa ne-psoriasis ebukhali ngaphezulu kweminyaka eyi-20 kwaye ubuso ngasemva Ukuba ndim kulusu lwam, Ibhlog ebalaselisa ubomi bakhe nge psoriasis. Iinjongo zakhe kukudala uvelwano nemfesane kwabo bangaqondakaliyo ngokungafihlisi kokuzimela, ukukhuthaza abaguli kunye nokhathalelo lwempilo. Iminqweno yakhe ibandakanya ulusu kunye nokhathalelo lolusu kunye nesondo kunye nempilo yengqondo. Alisha ukuhambelana namanye amagama Twitter kwaye I-Instagram.