Xa oochwephesha beMpilo yeNgqondo baxhomekeke kuphela kuPhando nakwisikrini sokuchongwa, wonke umntu uyalahleka

Umxholo

• Ndandineminyaka eli-18 ubudala kwaye ndabona ugqirha wam wokuqala. Kodwa bendingazi ukuba kungathatha iminyaka esibhozo ukufumana unyango olufanelekileyo, kungasathethwa ke ngokuxilongwa ngokuchanekileyo.
• Loo gqirha wokuqala wezifo zengqondo wayeya kundibiza ngokuba “ndinesifo esiyibipolar.” Xa ndizama ukubuza imibuzo, wandikhalimela ukuba "ndingamthembi".
• Okwangoku, ndibone ababoneleli aba-10 abohlukeneyo kwaye ndafumana i-10 eyahlukeneyo engxamisekileyo, ephikisanayo ngezimvo- {textend} kwaye ndalahleka iminyaka esibhozo kwinkqubo eyaphukileyo.
• Nangona kungakholeleki njengokuvakalayo, inyani kukuba, okwenzekileyo kum kuqheleke ngokumangalisayo.
• Ukuba kuvavanyo lwengqondo olungaphumeleliyo ekuphenduleni ngeendlela ezingalunganga ezibonwa ngabaguli, ukunika ingxelo, kunye namava ezempilo yengqondo, ukufumanisa isifo gwenxa kuya kuqhubeka kuyinto eqhelekileyo.
• Ekugqibeleni ndinobomi obugcweleyo nobonelisayo, obwenziwe ukuba bufumaneke kuphela ngokuchonga ngokufanelekileyo imeko yezempilo yengqondo endihlala nayo.

Ukusilela konxibelelwano olunomdla kugqirha kunye nesigulana kunokubambezela ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo ngeminyaka.

"Sam, bekufanele ukuba ndiyibambile," ugqirha wam wezifo zengqondo wandixelela. "Ndiyaxolisa."

"Oko" yayiyimpazamo yokunyanzelwa kukunyanzelwa (OCD), ingxaki endandihlala nayo ndingazi ukususela ebuntwaneni.

Nditsho ngokungazi kuba oogqirha abali-10 abohlukeneyo, ugqirha wam wezifo zengqondo phakathi kwabo, ebendichonge gwenxa (ngokungathi) sisifo sengqondo ngaphandle I-OCD. Okubi nangakumbi, oko kwakuthetha ukuba ndinyangwe kakhulu phantse ishumi leminyaka - {textend} konke ngenxa yeemeko zempilo endingazange ndiqale ngazo.

Ke ngoku, kanye kanye, ingaba yonke ihambile kakubi kakhulu?

Ndandineminyaka eli-18 ubudala kwaye ndabona ugqirha wam wokuqala. Kodwa bendingazi ukuba kungathatha iminyaka esibhozo ukufumana unyango olufanelekileyo, kungasathethwa ke ngokuxilongwa ngokuchanekileyo.

Ndiqale ndaqala ukubona ugqirha wento endinokuyichaza njengodandatheko olunzulu kunye neendlela zokuxhalaba okungenangqondo endikothusayo kwindlela yam yonke imihla. Ngeminyaka eyi-18, ndandinyanisekile xa ndathi kuye kwiseshoni yam yokuqala, "Andikwazi ukuqhubeka ndiphila ngoluhlobo."

Akuzange kuthathe xesha lide ngaphambi kokuba andicenge ukuba ndibone ugqirha wezifo zengqondo, onokuthi afumanise kwaye ancede ukulawula iziqwenga zepuzzle. Ndavuma ngentumekelelo. Bendifuna igama lento ibindisokolisa kuyo yonke leminyaka.

Naively, ndicinge ukuba ayifani kakhulu neqatha eliqhekekileyo. Ndifane nomfanekiso ngugqirha onobubele endibulisa esithi, “Kutheni, kubonakala ngathi yintoni ingxaki?” ilandelwe emva koko luthotho lwemibuzo ebuzwayo, "Ngaba kubuhlungu xa ..." "Ngaba uyakwazi uku ..."

Endaweni yoko, yayingamaphepha emibuzo kunye negruff, umfazi ogwebayo ebuza kum, "Ukuba uqhuba kakuhle esikolweni, kutheni ulapha nje?" ilandelwe ngu “Fine - {textend} ufuna ziphi iziyobisi?”

Loo gqirha wokuqala wezifo zengqondo wayeya kundibiza ngokuba “ndinesifo esiyibipolar.” Xa ndizama ukubuza imibuzo, wandikhalimela ukuba "ndingamthembi".

Ndiya kuqokelela iilebheli ezininzi njengoko ndandihamba ngenkqubo yempilo yengqondo:

• Uhlobo lwebipolar II
• Uhlobo lwebipolar I
• Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obunemida
• Ukuphazamiseka koxinzelelo ngokubanzi
• Ukudakumba okukhulu
• Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo
• Dissociative ukuphazamiseka
• Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu

Kodwa ngelixa iilebhile zitshintshile, impilo yam yengqondo ayitshintshanga.

Ndaqhubeka ndisiba worse. Njengoko amayeza ngakumbi nangakumbi ayesongezwa (ngaxeshanye, ndandikumayeza okunyanga izifo zengqondo asibhozo, awayebandakanya i-lithium kunye needosi ezinzima ze-antipsychotic), oogqirha bam bakhathazeka xa kungekho nto ibonakala iphucuka.

Emva kokulaliswa okwesibini esibhedlele, kwathi gqi iqokobhe lomntu. Abahlobo bam, abeza kundikhupha esibhedlele, zange bayikholelwe into abayibonileyo. Ndandinazo iziyobisi kangangokuba ndandingakwazi ukudibanisa izivakalisi kunye.

Isigwebo esipheleleyo endisenzileyo ukusithetha, nangona kunjalo, savela ngokucacileyo: “Andizukubuyela apho kwakhona. Kwixesha elizayo, ndiza kuqala ndizibulale. ”

Okwangoku, ndibone ababoneleli aba-10 abohlukeneyo kwaye ndafumana i-10 eyahlukeneyo engxamisekileyo, ephikisanayo ngezimvo- {textend} kwaye ndalahleka iminyaka esibhozo kwinkqubo eyaphukileyo.

Yayiyingcali yeengqondo kwiklinikhi yeengxaki eyayiza kuthi ekugqibeleni idibanise ezi ziqwenga. Ndafika kuye sele ndiza kulaliswa esibhedlele okwesithathu, ndizama ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ndingangcono.

"Ndicinga ukuba ndinesibipolar, okanye ndingumda, okanye ... andazi," ndimxelele.

Ngaba yile nto wena ucinga, phofu? ” wandibuza.

Ndothuswe ngumbuzo wakhe, ndanikina intloko kancinci kancinci.

Endaweni yokundinika iphepha lemibuzo leempawu zokujonga okanye ukufunda uludwe lweenqobo zokuchonga, uvele wathi, "Ndixelele ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni."

Ndenze njalo ke.

Ndabelana ngeemvakalelo ezibi, ezibandezelayo endandihlala ndisihlaselwa mihla le. Ndamxelela malunga namaxesha andinakho ukuyeka ukunkqonkqoza emithini okanye ukuqhekeza intamo yam okanye ukuphinda idilesi yam entlokweni yam, kunye nendlela endiziva ngathi ndilahlekelwe yingqondo yam.

“Sam,” watsho kum. Kude kube nini bekuxelela ukuba une-bipolar okanye umda? ”

Ndidakumbile ndathi: “Iminyaka esibhozo.

Esoyika, wandijonga wathi, “Eli lelona cala licacileyo lokuphazamiseka okungaphaya kwengqondo endakha ndalibona. Ndiza kubiza ugqirha wakho wengqondo ndize ndithethe naye. ”

Ndanqwala, ndiphelelwe ngamazwi. Uye wakhupha ilaptop yakhe ndagqiba wandihlola nge-OCD.

Xa ndandijonga irekhodi lam lonyango kwi-intanethi ngobo busuku, ubuninzi beelebheli zokudideka kubo bonke oogqirha bam bangaphambili zaziphelile. Endaweni yayo, kwakukho enye kuphela: ukuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo.

Nangona kungakholeleki njengokuvakalayo, inyani kukuba, okwenzekileyo kum kuqheleke ngokumangalisayo.

Isifo se-bipolar, umzekelo, ichazwa gwenxa kukuxakekisa kwexesha, amaxesha amaninzi kuba abathengi ababonisa iimpawu zokudakumba bahlala bengathathelwa ingqalelo njengabagqatswa bipolar disorder, ngaphandle kwengxoxo malunga ne-hypomania okanye imania.

I-OCD, ngokufanayo, ichongwa ngokuchanekileyo malunga nesiqingatha sexesha.

Oku kungenxa, ngokuyinxenye, kwinto yokuba kunqabile ukuba ihlolwe. Uninzi lwendawo apho i-OCD ibambelele kwiingcinga zomntu. Kwaye ngelixa lonke uklinikhi endilibonileyo lindibuza malunga nomoya wam, akukho namnye owakhe wandibuza ukuba ndinazo naziphi na iingcinga ezindikhathazayo, ngaphaya kweengcinga zokuzibulala.

Oku kuya kuba yinto ephosakeleyo, kuba ngaphandle kokuphanda ngento eyenzekayo ngengqondo, baphoswa lelona qhekeza liphambili lephazili: iingcinga zam ezingafunekiyo.

I-OCD yam indikhokelele ekubeni ndonwabe ngokudandatheka kuphela ngenxa yokuba ukuthanda kwam izinto kungashiywanga kungaphathwa kwaye bekuhlala kukhathaza. Abanye ababoneleli, xa ndandichaza iingcinga endandinazo, ndade ndambiza ngokuba ndingu-psychotic.

I-ADHD yam - {textend} endingazange ndibuzwe ngayo malunga - {textend} kwakuthetha ukuba isimo sam sengqondo, xa ndandingakhathali, ndandithanda ukuba mandundu, ndidlamke, kwaye ndinamandla. Oku kuye kwaphazanyiswa rhoqo ngolunye uhlobo lwe-mania, olunye uphawu lokuphazamiseka kwengqondo.

Olu tshintsho lweemvakalelo lwenziwa mandundu yi-anorexia nervosa, ingxaki yokutya eyandikhokelela ekubeni ndingondleki kakhulu, yandise ukuphinda ndisebenze ngokweemvakalelo.Andizange ndibuzwe nayiphi na imibuzo malunga nokutya okanye umfanekiso womzimba, nangona- {textend} ke ingxaki yam yokutya yayingatyhilwanga kude kube kakhulu, kamva kakhulu.

Yiyo loo nto ababoneleli abahlukeneyo abali-10 befumanise ukuba ndinengxaki yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo kwaye emva koko ndinengxaki yomda wobuntu, phakathi kwezinye izinto, ngaphandle kokungabinazo ezinye iimpawu zophawu lwengxaki.

Ukuba kuvavanyo lwengqondo olungaphumeleliyo ekuphenduleni ngeendlela ezingalunganga ezibonwa ngabaguli, ukunika ingxelo, kunye namava ezempilo yengqondo, ukufumanisa isifo gwenxa kuya kuqhubeka kuyinto eqhelekileyo.

Beka enye indlela, uphando kunye novavanyo zizixhobo, kodwa azinakuthatha indawo yokunxibelelana nesigulana nesigulana, ngakumbi xa kuguqulelwa iindlela ezizodwa ezichaza iimpawu zabo.

Yile ndlela ke iingcinga zam zokungena ngokukhawuleza zabizwa ngokuba yi "psychotic" kunye ne "dissociative" kunye nokutshintsha kwemood yam kubhalwe "bipolar." Xa zonke ezinye izinto zisilele, ukungaphenduli kwam kunyango kwaba yingxaki kubuntu bam.

Kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, andinakukunceda kodwa uqaphele imibuzo engazange ibuzwe:

• nokuba bendisitya
• zeziphi iintlobo zeengcinga endandihlala ndinazo
• apho bendisokola khona emsebenzini wam

Nawuphi na wale mibuzo ngewayikhanyisile ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni kanye kanye.

Zininzi kakhulu iimpawu endinokuzichonga kunye nokuba bezichazwe nje ngamagama aye ahambelana namava am.

Ukuba abaguli abanikwanga ndawo bayifunayo ukuze bathethe ngokukhuselekileyo namava abo - {textend} kwaye abanyanzeliswa ukuba babelane ngayo yonke imilinganiselo yempilo-ntle yabo yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo, kwanezo zibonakala “zingabalulekanga” kwindlela abaqale ngayo Ikho - {textend} siyakuhlala sishiywe sinomfanekiso ongaphelelanga wento efunwa sisigulana.

Ekugqibeleni ndinobomi obugcweleyo nobonelisayo, obwenziwe ukuba bufumaneke kuphela ngokuchonga ngokufanelekileyo imeko yezempilo yengqondo endihlala nayo.

Kodwa ndishiywe yimvakalelo yokutshona. Ngelixa ndakwazi ukuxhoma kule minyaka ili-10 idlulileyo, ndandingafiki nje kwaphela.

Inyani yile, amaphepha emibuzo kunye neencoko eziqalekisayo ngokulula azithathele ingqalelo umntu opheleleyo.

Kwaye ngaphandle kombono ocacileyo, ogcweleyo wesigulana, kunokwenzeka ukuba singaphuthelwa ziimpawu ezahlulahlula iingxaki ezinje nge-OCD ngoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kwisifo se-bipolar, phakathi kwabanye.

Xa izigulana zifika zikwimeko enkenenkene yengqondo, njengoko zihlala zisenza njalo, azinakho ukubambezeleka ukuba zichache.

Kuba baninzi kakhulu abantu, nokuba ngunyaka nje omnye unyango olungachanekanga lubeka emngciphekweni wokuphulukana nawo - {textend} kukudinwa kunyango okanye ukuzibulala - {textend} phambi kokuba babe nethuba lokwenene lokuphola.

USam Dylan Finch ngumhleli wezempilo yengqondo kunye neemeko ezingapheliyo kwiHealthline. Ukwayibhlog emva kwe-Let Queer Things Up!, Apho abhala khona malunga nempilo yengqondo, ukomelela komzimba, kunye ne-LGBTQ + yesazisi. Njengommeli, unomdla wokwakha uluntu ukuze abantu bachache. Ungamfumana kwi-Twitter, kwi-Instagram, naku-Facebook, okanye ufunde okungakumbi ku-samdylanfinch.com.