Uyifumana njani iTherapist yokujongana neMicimbi yakho

Umxholo

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Xa usihla ngomqala obuhlungu, izinyo, okanye ingxaki yesisu, uyazi kakuhle ukuba luhlobo luni lomboneleli wezonyango ofuna ukulubona. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba uziva uxhalabile okanye uxinezelekile? Ngaba kwanele ukuphuma kumhlobo okanye kuya kufuneka uthethe nengcali? Kwaye wenza njani fumana ngumgqirha?

Siqhamise: Sowusindwa yimathamba. Umbono wokufumana uhlobo lwengcali yezempilo yengqondo ekulungeleyo unokuziva ngathi ungaphezulu kunokuba unako (okanye ufuna) ukuphatha. Siyayifumana-yiyo loo nto siye senzela umsebenzi. Funda isikhokelo sakho ngamanyathelo sokufumana uncedo olufunayo. (PS Nditsho nefowuni yakho inokukhetha kuxinzelelo.)

Inyathelo 1: Xelela umntu-nabani na.

Ukwazi ixesha lokufuna uncedo nako kubalulekile. Kukho imiqondiso emibini ebalulekileyo ilixesha lokufumana uncedo kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo, utshilo uDan Reidenberg, iPsy.D, umlawuli olawulayo weeNdaba zoLwazi lokuZibulala (SAVE). “Eyokuqala kuxa ungakwazi ukusebenza ngendlela obuyiyo ngaphambili kwaye akukho nto uyizamayo ukunceda,” utshilo. Okwesibini kuxa abanye abantu beqaphela ukuba kukho into engalunganga. "Ukuba umntu uthatha inyathelo lokuthetha into kuwe emva koko iqhubekile kwaye yahlala ixesha elide-kwaye inokuba mandundu ngakumbi kunokuba unokuqonda, utshilo.

Nokuba ibalulekile enye into, umhlobo, ilungu losapho, okanye umntu osebenza naye, ukufikelela kuncedo yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Rhoqo, izigulo zengqondo-nokuba kukudakumba kancinci okanye unxunguphalo-kunokwenza kube nzima kuwe ukufumanisa ukuba buqine kangakanani, utshilo uReidenberg. "Ukuvumela umntu azi ukuba uyazabalaza kunokwenza umehluko omkhulu."

Inyathelo 2: Ndwendwela ugqirha wakho.

Awudingi ukwazisa ngokukhangela ukuncipha. Ukutyelela kwakho okokuqala kunokuba ngugqirha wakho oqhelekileyo okanye u-ob-gyn. "Kunokubakho izinto zebhayoloji, ezonyango, okanye zehomoni ezinokuthi zibonwe kuvavanyo lwaselebhu," utshilo. Umzekelo, iingxaki zedlala lengqula zinxulunyaniswa neempawu zoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kunye nokunyanga ingxaki esisiseko kunokukunceda uzive ungcono. "Ugqirha wakho unokucebisa ukuba uthethe nomntu okwangoku njengoko amayeza eqala ukusebenza okanye xa engasebenzi," wongeza uReidenberg. Ukuba ugqirha wakho uyayikhupha imeko yonyango, uya kukuthumela kugqirha wengqondo. (Fumanisa: Ngaba amaxhala kwiGenesis yakho?)

Inyathelo 3: Jonga ugqirha wengqondo.

"Isayikholojisti ngoyena mntu ungaya kuye ukuba unengxaki notshintsho kwiimvakalelo zakho, awunamdla kwizinto owawukade unazo, akukho nto ikhangeleka ikwenza wonwabe kwakhona, okanye imeko yakho inyuka kwaye uphantsi okanye uhlala ephantsi,” utshilo. "Ingcali yezengqondo inokukunceda ukuba ufunde ukusebenza kunye neengcinga kunye nokuziphatha kwakho ukuze uhlengahlengise ubuyele kwindawo elawulekayo."

Iingcali zengqondo azichazi amayeza (iingcali zengqondo, oogqirha bezonyango, benza njalo). UReidenberg uthi: “Isazi ngengqondo siqeqeshwe ngeendlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo. "Xa abantu behleli nje bethetha kwindawo ekhuselekileyo, engagwebiyo kunokuba luncedo ngokumangalisayo ekuhleleni iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo. Iyanciphisa inqanaba labo loxinzelelo."

Inyathelo 4: Isazi sakho sengqondo sinokukuthumela kugqirha wezifo zengqondo.

Phantse kuwo onke amatyala, awuyi kubona ugqirha wezifo zengqondo ngaphandle kokuba i-pscyhologist yakho icinge ukuba kunyanzelekile, ukuba awuzulunga okanye uneentlungu ezininzi ongazisingatha wedwa. Esona sibonelelo sikhulu mhlawumbi iya kuba kukusebenza nabo bobabini, wongeza uReidenberg. "Ugqirha ngamnye uya kufuna ukwazi ukuba ngaba unazo naziphi na iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga, kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo." Ugqirha wengqondo uya kufuna ukuphoswa ukuze azi ukuba idosi okanye iyeza alilunganga na, ngelixa ugqirha wengqondo unokukunceda ujongane neziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ngokuhlengahlengisa ubomi bakho kunye nembono, utshilo uReidenberg. "Ukusebenza kunye, baya kwabelana ngolwazi malunga nenkqubela yakho ukuze ubuyele kumkhondo ngokukhawuleza." (Kodwa lumkiswa-Ukudakumba okungalunganga kokuDakumba kunokuNgqinisisa ngokuBunzima bakho.)

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