Ufumana njani Ukwahlukana, iNdlela yeBuddhist

Umxholo

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Intlungu yentliziyo ngamava awenzakalisayo anokushiya nabani na ukuba abambe ukuqonda okungahambanga kakuhle-kwaye rhoqo oku kukhangela iimpendulo kukhokelela kwiphepha lakho langaphambili likaFacebook okanye ezantsi kwebhotile yepinot noir. Umnqweno wokusela okanye wokufikelela kulowo ukwenzakalisayo uyaqondakala, kodwa kunqabile ukuba uvelise. Ke, yeyiphi eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokufumana indlela yokufumana ukwahlukana?

Lo ngumbuzo esiwubuze kuLodro Rinzler, utitshala wokucamngca wamaBhuda okwisiXeko saseNew York kunye nombhali wencwadi entsha. Uthando lubuhlungu, isikhokelo sobungakanani bepokotho ekuphiliseni kwintlungu yentliziyo, ephefumlelwe ngokuyinxalenye ngamava akhe okujongana nothethathethwano olwaphukileyo, ukusweleka komhlobo wakhe osenyongweni, kunye nokuphulukana nomsebenzi ngokulandelelana ngokukhawuleza. Xa ebhala lo mqulu, wayehleli yedwa nabantu abaninzi baseNew York abamxelela amabali abo abathandayo kunye nokudana, kwaye iimpendulo zazibanzi kwaye zisuka entliziyweni.

"Kwakunomdla kakhulu ukubona i-saga egcwele yonke into yokuba intliziyo ebuhlungu ibonakala yahluke kakhulu kumntu nomntu, kwaye ulwalamano ngalunye lunolwalo olulodwa, kodwa iimvakalelo ezisisiseko zihlala zifana nokungcatshwa, ukuziva unomsindo, ukuziva udangele, Ndiziva ngathi awusoze uphinde umthande, nokuba kunjani-ukuba sonke sizifumana ezi zinto kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo nokuba kukwintlungu yothando okanye ngenye indlela, utshilo uRinzler.

Ukuzoba kule mixholo, kunye nokufunda kwakhe ngeminyaka engama-2 500 yobulumko bobuBhuda, uRinzler unikezela ukuqonda okuvavanyiweyo ixesha kunye neengcebiso ukunceda kwinkqubo yokuphilisa intliziyo ebuhlungu. Kwixesha elizayo xa uzibhaqa emva kokwahlukana kakubi, landela la manyathelo mane achazwe ngezantsi ukukunceda uzive ungcono ngokukhawuleza kunokuba ungayivula ibhotile yewayini.

1. Ziqhelise Ukuzinyamekela

Kwi Uthando lubuhlungus, URinzler ubhekisa kwiseti eyimfihlakalo yeemfundiso ezaziwa njengeZine zoBonelelo, ezazifihlwe kumonasteri ngaphakathi eTibet kangangeenkulungwane. Kuthiwa ukuba uzenza zone ezi zinto ngosuku olunye uya kuziva unyukile kwaye ube noluvo oluhlaziyiweyo lwamandla. Kwenzekile ukuba ezi zenzo zilungelelaniswe neengcebiso zempilo onokuthi uzifumane kumqeqeshi wezempilo, umqeqeshi, okanye ugqirha wengqondo, kwaye zizinto onokuthi ungazihoyi xa ugxadazela ukusuka esiphelweni sobudlelwane:

• Yitya kakuhle
• Lala kamnandi
• Camngca
• Yenza umthambo

Ezi zinto zinokuvakala zilula, kodwa ukudandatheka kwentliziyo kuyenzakalisa; iyothusa inkqubo kwaye umzimba wakho ufuna ukuphumla, isondlo esifanelekileyo, kunye nendawo ukuze uphile kuyo. Kukho okungakumbi kolu luvo kunophando lwakudala lokunyusa intsomi lubonisa ukuba ukulala okusemgangathweni, ukucamngca, kunye nokuzilolonga konke kunefuthe elihle kwimood (ngamanye amaxesha kusebenza kwimizuzu embalwa) kwaye kunokunceda ekunciphiseni iziphumo zexesha elide zoxinzelelo.

Linga ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuzikhathalela. Kangangoko unako, khetha ukutya okunesondlo (okanye okona kuncinci, yitya into ethile) kwaye uzivumele ulale ngakumbi kunokuba udla ngokufuna. Ukuba umtsha kukucamngca, landela imiyalelo kwi # 2 engezantsi ukuze uqalise. Ukuba umsebenzi omnye uziva unamandla ngokukodwa, njengokubaleka, zama ukusebenzela oko kwishedyuli yakho yemihla ngemihla. Ngale ndlela, uyazi ukuba ubuncinci inxenye yosuku, uya kuba uzikhathalele phakathi kwentliziyo, ucebisa uRinzler.

2. Guqula iBali ozixelela lona

Ukuze siphuluke ekuchasweni kwaye siphumelele ukuhlukana, kufuneka silahle amabali amaninzi esizixelela ngayo malunga nendlela esiya kuhlala siphathwa ngayo okanye ukuba singaze sifumane uthando. Ukubandezeleka kwethu kuqhubekeka ngumxholo webali, utshilo uRinzler. "Xa siziva sibuhlungu ngenxa yobudlelwane bothando, asisoloko sithi, 'Kukho le mvakalelo yokucwila emhadini wesisu sam kwaye ndiziva ndiphelile.' Sithi, 'Kazi benza ntoni ngoku, ndiyazibuza ukuba ingaba babona umntu na ...' Amabali aqhubela phambili ukubandezeleka. "

Enye yeendlela ezisebenzayo zokunqumla le ngxoxo yangaphakathi kukucamngca. Uhlobo lokucamngca uRinzler alufundisayo kuhlala kubhekiswa kulo "njengokuqonda" kuba kubandakanya ukuzisa ingqondo epheleleyo kwinto enye: impefumlo. (SineSikhokelo sakho sabaQalayo sokucamngca.)

Ukuqalisa, ucebisa ukuba uzame nje imizuzu eyi-10 ngosuku. Hlala ngokukhululekile kwi-cushion okanye isitulo kwindawo engabonakaliyo, setha i-timer imizuzu eyi-10, kwaye ube nawe. Ukuphefumla ngokwendalo kwaye uhoye umoya. Ukuba ingqondo yakho ibhadula kwiingcinga, yamkele nje loo nto, mhlawumbi uthi cwaka uthi "ucinga," emva koko ubuyele emphefumlweni ngengqondo ecacileyo. Oku kunokwenzeka ngamaxesha amaninzi kwisithuba semizuzu eli-10 kwaye kulungile. Ekupheleni kweseshoni, zolula umzuzwana kwaye ufake usuku lwakho ngengqondo kunye nentliziyo evulekileyo.

3. Xa Uhendelwa Ukuqhagamshelana ne-Ex Yakho, Yenza Oku Endaweni

Phakathi kwemiyalezo ebhaliweyo, i-Instagram, kunye nezinye iindawo zeendaba zoluntu, kukho iindlela ezingapheliyo zokunxibelelana nomntu okubangele ukuba ube buhlungu. Kodwa ayisiyiyo indlela ohlangabezana ngayo nokwahlukana. Rhoqo xa sisenza oku ayikuko kuba sifuna ukucoca umoya, kodwa ngenxa yokuba siphulukene nendlela eqhelekileyo yokunxibelelana naloo mntu kwaye sithethathethana ngokufana kwento esasinayo ngaphambili, ubhala oko uRinzler Uthando lubuhlungu.

Xa unomnqweno wokuqhagamshelana ne-ex yakho, nqumama kwaye ujonge inkuthazo yokuba kutheni ufuna ukufikelela ngaphandle, uyacebisa. Ngaba kungenxa yokuba unento enentsingiselo ofuna ukuyithetha, okanye kungenxa nje yokuphumla okwexeshana?

Ukuba inkuthazo yakho ayicacanga okanye ayilunganga kakhulu (kwaye unyaniseke kuwe apha!), uRinzler ucebisa ukuba uzame lo msebenzi: Thatha umoya onzulu. Beka phantsi ifowuni yakho. Beka isandla sakho entliziyweni yakho kwaye udibanise nomzimba wakho. Ukucamngca nokuzilolonga zombini iindlela ezilungileyo zokwenza oku. Isitshixo kukuzithintela ekuzifakeni kwisimo sokufikelela ngaphandle kwexesha lokurhawuzelela. (Jonga kwakhona: Iindlela ezi-5 zokujongana nokuqhekeka 'okungaboniyo'

4. Yiyeke Intlungu Yakho

"Esinye sezona zidalwa zilumkileyo endizaziyo, uSakyong Mipham Rinpoche, wakha wanika umlinganiso wendlela yokuyeka izinto ezibuhlungu zamava ethu," utshilo uRinzler kwincwadi yakhe. 'Uthando oluxutywe nesithuba lubizwa ngokuba kukukhulula.'

Ukuba unqwenela ukuyeka intlungu yakho, yongeza enye okanye zombini ezi zinto kwaye ubone ukuba kwenzeka ntoni, utshilo uRinzler. "Xa abantu behamba nentliziyo ebuhlungu abacingi ukuba baya kuze bayigqibe, kwaye banokungabikho ngendlela abafuna ngayo kuba kungathatha ixesha elide ukuphilisa ezi zinto. Kodwa siyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Zihlala ziguquka kwaye zimanzi kakhulu kunokuba sicinga. Iintliziyo zethu ziyakwazi ukujongana neentlungu zobomi kwaye sonke siyaphilisa ngandlela-thile.

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