Ndifunde Njani Ukuthanda Ukubaleka Ngaphandle Komculo

Umxholo

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Kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, iqela labaphandi abavela kwiDyunivesithi yaseVirginia kunye neYunivesithi yaseHarvard bagqiba ekubeni bafunde indlela abantu abakwaziyo ngayo ukuzonwabisa-ngaphandle kweziphazamiso njengeefowuni, iimagazini, okanye umculo. Bacinga ukuba kuya kuba lula kakhulu, xa sinikwa ubuchopho bethu obukhulu, obusebenzayo obugcwele iinkumbulo ezinomdla kunye namasuntswana olwazi esiluchole endleleni.

Kodwa eneneni, abaphandi bafumanisa ukuba abantu inzondo bashiyeke bodwa bengcinga zabo. Kwisifundo esinye babandakanya kuhlalutyo lwabo, malunga nesithathu nje abanakuyenza kwaye baqhathe ngokudlala kwiifowuni zabo okanye ukumamela umculo ngexesha lokufunda. Kwelinye, ikota yabathathi-nxaxheba basetyhini kunye nesibini kwisithathu sabathathi-nxaxheba abangamadoda bakhetha ukuzothusa ngokwenene ngombane ukuze baziphazamise kuyo nantoni na eyenzekayo ezintloko zabo.

Ukuba oko kuvakala kuphambene kuwe, yiba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni woku: Uza kubaleka. Uyaphuma ezindlebeni zakho kwaye ukhuphe ifowuni yakho kuphela ukuze uqonde ukuba-thixo othandekayo, hayi-kuphume ibhetri. Ngoku khawuzibuze, ukuba ukuzipha umothuko wombane ngandlel 'ithile kunokubangela ukuba i-iTunes iphinde ibuye, ngaba ungayenza? Awuphambani ngoku, akunjalo?

Ngokombono wam, kubonakala ngathi zimbini iintlobo zeembaleki: Abo bathi ngovuyo babethe iindlela bethe cwaka, kwaye abo bakhetha ukuhlafuna ingalo yasekhohlo kunokuba bancame ii-headphone zabo. Kwaye ngokunyaniseka, bendihlala ndizibala njengelungu lenkampu yesibini.Ngapha koko, ndiye ndalujonga uhlobo lokubaleka njengeembaleki. Babesoloko bebonakala benjalo yevangeli ngayo. "Zama nje!" Bayakhuthaza. "Luxolo kakhulu!" Ewe, mhlawumbi andifuni uxolo kwi-11 yexesha elide. Mhlawumbi ndifuna uEminem. (Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, izifundo zibonisa ukuba umculo unokukunceda ukubaleka ngokukhawuleza kwaye uzive unamandla.)

Kodwa esona sigwebo sam yayisisikhwele. Ukubaleka kuthe cwaka yenza Kubonakala ngathi uxolo, kwaye uyacamngca. Ndihlala ndiziva ngathi ndilahlekile, ndisila nje iimayile ngaphandle kokucofa kwi-zen yokwenene eza kuphela xa ucima zonke iziphazamiso-nyulu ukubaleka. Ke ngenye intsasa emnandi, xa ndandilibele ngandlel’ ithile ukutshaja ifowuni yam, ndaphuma ngaphandle kweethowuni ze-dulcet zikaMarshall Mathers ezindlebeni zam. Kwaye yayi ... kulungile.

Kwakungengawo la mava atshintsha ubomi endandikade ndiwakhangela, ukunyaniseka. Bendingathandi ukuva umoya wam ndibaleka. (Ngaba sele ndiza kufa?) Kodwa ndaziva ndizidibanise ngakumbi nehlabathi elandingqongileyo. Ndeva iintaka, ukubethwa kweeteki zam ngokuchasene nepavumente, umoya uvuthuza ziindlebe zam, amazwi abantu xa ndidlula. (Abanye bakhwaza endala "Baleka Ihlathi, baleka!" okanye enye into eqinisekileyo ukuba iyamcaphukisa imbaleki, kodwa yintoni onokuyenza?) Iimayile zadlula ngokukhawuleza njengoko zenzayo xa ndimamele umculo. Ndabaleka ngesantya esilingana nesiqhelo.

Kodwa kwenzeka into engaqhelekanga. Nangona ndiye ndafumana amava akhuthazayo, kwixesha elizayo xa ndicinga ngokubaleka umculo ngaphandle komculo, lwabuya lonke olo loyiko lwakudala. Ndiza kucinga ngantoni? Ukuba ndinokudikwa? Kuthekani ukuba ukubaleka kwam kuba nzima? Andikwazi ukuyenza. Kwangena ii-headphone, yenyuka ivolumu. Kwakusenzeka ntoni?

Buyela kwiyunivesithi yaseVirginia yokufunda okwesibini. Kukuthini ukuba wedwa kunye neengcinga zethu ezivakalayo ke sigxothe singathanda ukothusa kunokuba siyenze? Ababhali bokufunda babenayo ithiyori. Abantu banocingo olunzima ukuskena imeko-bume yabo, bekhangela izoyikiso. Ngaphandle kwayo nayiphi na into ethe ngqo yokugxila kwisicatshulwa esivela kumhlobo, i-Instagram feed-siziva singonwabanga kwaye sinoxinzelelo.

Ukwazi ukuba bekukho isizathu esixhaswe sifundo sokuba bendisebenza ngokuchasene nokuthi cwaka kwakuthuthuzela. Kwaye kwandinika ithemba lokuba ndingafunda ukubaleka ndingenazindlebe. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiqale kancinci. Okokuqala, ndatshintsha umculo kwiipodcasts. Ukukopela, ndiyazi, kodwa kwavakala ngathi linyathelo eliya kuthi cwaka.

Emva koko, ndikhuphele usetyenziso lokucamngca olubizwa ngokuba yi-Headspace (simahla ukubhalisa, emva koko i-13 yeedola ngenyanga; itunes.com kunye ne-play.google.com), ene-on-the-go meditation series, kubandakanya enye yokusebenza. "Utitshala," uAndy, uthetha nawe ukubaleka, akubonise indlela yokucamngca ngokuhamba. Emva kokumamela amatyeli aliqela, ndiye ndaqala ukubandakanya ukucamngca okuncinci kwiimbaleki zam ezininzi, ukunciphisa ivolumu kwiipodcast zam okwemizuzu embalwa kwaye ndigxile kwiimvakalelo zeenyawo zam ezibetha umhlaba, emva kwenye. (I-combo yokucamngca kunye nokuzilolonga ngokwenene inamandla okukhuthaza.)

Kwaze, ngenye intsasa, ndandisembindini wokubaleka kwakusasa, ndaza ndakhupha nje i-headphones zam. Ndandisele ndise-groove yam, ke ndiyazi ukuba ukuhamba ngekhe kubangele ukuba imilenze yam ime ngokukhawuleza. Bekuyimini emnandi, ilanga lishushu ngokwaneleyo ngenxa yebhulukhwe ezimfutshane kodwa lipholile kangangokuba andizange ndizive ndishushu. Ndandibaleka kwindawo endiyithandayo eCentral Park. Kwakusekuqaleni ngokwaneleyo ukuba kuphela ezinye iimbaleki ezaziphumile. Ndifuna nje ukonwabela ukubaleka kwam, kwaye kwangoko ingxolo evela ezindlebeni zam indiva ngathi iphazamisa ukuhamba kwam endaweni yokukunceda. Kwiikhilomitha ezimbini ezizayo, andifuni kwanto ngaphandle kwesandi sokuphefumla kwam, izihlangu zam zibetha umkhondo, umoya uvuthuza ziindlebe zam. Nantso ke i-zen bendiyifuna.

Zisekhona iintsuku apho yonke into endiyifunayo kukwenza umda ngelixa ndiphulaphule uluhlu lokudlala olusebenza ngononophelo. Mna njengaye umculo, kwaye ineenzuzo ezinamandla kakhulu, emva kwayo yonke loo nto. Kodwa kukho into ekhethekileyo malunga nokubaleka okuthe cwaka. Kwaye ukuba akukho nto yimbi, kukhululekile ukuba ndingacwangcisi ukubaleka kwam malunga nokuba ifowuni yam ihlawulwe njani.

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