Ukulungiselela Ukwamkela Usana Kubhubhane: Ndijamelana Njani

Umxholo

• Lixesha lokuba kugxilwe
• Lixesha lokuzinakekela, nako

Ukunyaniseka, kuyothusa. Kodwa ndifumana ithemba.

Ukuqhambuka kwe-COVID-19 kulitshintsha ngokoqobo ihlabathi ngoku, kwaye wonke umntu uyoyika okuzayo. Kodwa njengomntu oneeveki nje ezimbalwa ezelwe ukuba azale umntwana wakhe wokuqala, uninzi lwam uloyiko lujolise kwintoni lonto imini izakuzisa.

Ndiyazibuza ukuba ubomi buza kuba njani xa kufuneka ndiye esibhedlele ukuze ndifumane i-C-Section yam ekhethiweyo. Kuza kuba njani njengokuba ndichacha. Kuza kuba njani ngomntwana wam osandul 'ukuzalwa.

Kwaye konke endinokukwenza kukugcina iindaba kunye nezikhokelo zesibhedlele kwaye ndizame ukuhlala ndiqinisekile, kuba wonke umntu uyazi ukuba uxinzelelo kunye nokungakhathali akulunganga kumfazi okhulelweyo.

Ukuqala kwam ukuva ngesi sifo khange ndikhathazeke kakhulu. Khange ndicinge ukuba inokusasazeka ukuya kuthi ga ngoku, apho ichaphazela kwaye itshintsha ubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla.

Asisayi kuphinda sibone abahlobo okanye usapho okanye siye kusela kwi-pub. Asinakuphinda sihambe njengeqela okanye siye kusebenza.

Ndandisele ndikwikhefu lam lokuya kubeleka xa yonke le nto yaqala ukuchaphazela ilizwe, ke ngethamsanqa umsebenzi wam awuchaphazelekanga. Ndinophahla entlokweni yam kwaye ndihlala neqabane lam. Ke ngandlela thile, nangona konke oku kuqhubeka, ndiziva ndikhuselekile.

Ngenxa yokuba ndikhulelwe kwaye ndikwanesifo seswekile sokukhulelwa, ndiye ndacetyiswa ukuba ndizihlukanise iiveki ezili-12. Oku kuthetha ukuba ndiza kuba sekhaya neqabane lam iiveki ezi-3 ngaphambi kokuba umntwana abe lapha kunye neeveki ezili-9 emva koko.

Lixesha lokuba kugxilwe

Andikhathazeki ngale nto. Ngelixa ndikhulelweyo, zininzi izinto endinokuzenza ngeli xesha.

Ndingabeka izinto zokugqibezela kwigumbi lomntwana wam, ndingafunda ukukhulelwa kunye neencwadi eziza kuba ngumama. Ndingangena ebuthongweni ngaphambi kokuba ndiphulukane nabo bonke xa elapha. Ndiyakwazi ukupakisha ibhegi yam yasesibhedlele, njalo njalo.

Ndizama ukuyijonga njengeeveki ezi-3 zokuhlanganisa yonke into, endaweni yeeveki ezi-3 ezinamathele endlwini.

Nje ukuba afike, ndiyazi ukuba ukukhathalela usana olusanda kuzalwa kuya kuba ngumsebenzi onzima kwaye mhlawumbi andizukufuna ukushiya indlu kakhulu.

Ewe ndiza kuyenza imithambo yam yemihla ngemihla - ukuhamba ndedwa nosana lwam, ukuze afumane umoya omtsha - kodwa kumama omtsha, ukuzikhetha akubonakali ngathi kukuphela kwehlabathi.

Ndijonge kwisipho sexesha nosana lwam olutsha.

Inye into endisokolayo nayo kukuba isibhedlele endizakubeleka kuso songeze izithintelo ezitsha kubatyeleli. Ndivunyelwe iqabane elinye lokuzalwa, ngokuqinisekileyo eliza kuba liqabane lam - utata womntwana, kodwa emva koko, ikwanguye kuphela umntu ovumelekileyo ukuba andindwendwele kunye nosana xa ndisesibhedlele.

Ewe bendifuna umama wam eze kusibona emva kokuzalwa, abambe unyana wam kwaye amvumele ukuba abonde. Ndifuna amalungu osapho akhethiweyo ukuba babe nexesha labo naye. Kodwa kwakhona ndizama ukujonga kwicala eliqaqambileyo kwaye ndicinge ngale ndlela: Ngoku ndiza kuba nexesha elongezelelekileyo kunye nam, iqabane lam, kunye nonyana wethu ukuze sichithe ixesha elithile sidibana ngaphandle kweziphazamiso.

Ndiza kufumana ulusu lolusu kunyana wam njengoko ndithandayo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngabanye abantu abaza kungena egumbini kwaye bafuna ukumbamba. Iintsuku ezi-2, njengoko ndihleli esibhedlele, siya kuba nakho ukuba lusapho kungekho mntu ubandakanyekayo. Kwaye oko kuvakala kamnandi.

Ngelishwa, izithintelo ziya kuqhubeka xa ndisekhaya nosana lwam olusandul 'ukuzalwa.

Akukho mntu uya kuvunyelwa ukuba atyelele njengoko sikwi-lockdown, kwaye akukho mntu uya kubamba usana lwethu ngaphandle kwam neqabane lam.

Ndatshitshiswa ngale nto ekuqaleni, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba kukho abanye ngaphandle apho bahlala bodwa kwaye bahlukanisiwe nehlabathi. Kukho abo bagulayo, abazali abadala abazibuza ukuba baya kuze baphinde babonane kwakhona.

Ndinethamsanqa lokuba ndiza kuba nosapho lwam oluncinci ekhaya ngokukhuselekileyo nam. Kwaye kuhlala kukho izinto ezithandwayo zeSkype kunye neZoom ukuze ndibambe abazali bam kunye nezinye izalamane ukubabonisa umntwana - kwaye baya kuba nentlanganiso ye-Intanethi! Kuya kuba nzima, kunjalo, kodwa yinto. Kwaye ndiyayibulela loo nto.

Lixesha lokuzinakekela, nako

Ewe eli lixesha loxinzelelo ngokwenene, kodwa ndizama ukuhlala ndizolile kwaye ndicinga ngezinto ezintle, kwaye ndigxile kwinto endinokuyenza kwaye ndilibale okuphuma ezandleni zam.

Ngalo naliphi na elinye ibhinqa elikhulelweyo lodwa okwangoku, lisebenzise njengexesha lokulungiselela umntwana wakho kunye nokwenza izinto ekhaya ongasayi kuba nalo ixesha lokwenza nosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa.

Yiba nobuthongo obude, ibhafu yokufudumala, upheke isidlo esitofotofo - kuba iyakuba yiyo nantoni na efrijini ixesha elide.

Gcwalisa ixesha lakho ngokufunda iincwadi okanye usebenze ekhaya ukuba yile nto uyenzayo. Ndiye ndathenga nencwadi zokufaka imibala yabantu abadala neepeni zokuhambisa ixesha.

Olu lwalathiso lwasekhaya luza kugxila ekulungiseleleni yonke into xa usana lwam lulapha. Ndiyoyika malunga nento eza kwenzeka emva koko kwaye ilizwe liza kuba phi, kodwa yinto endingenakuyenza nantoni na ngaphandle kokulandela izikhokelo kunye nezithintelo, nokuzama ukugcina usapho lwam lukhuselekile.

Ukuba unexhala, zama ukukhumbula ukuba konke onokukwenza kuko konke okusemandleni akho. Umhlaba uyindawo eyoyikisayo ngoku, kodwa unosana oluncinci oluhle oluza kuba lihlabathi lakho liza kungekudala.

• Khumbula ukukhangela ugqirha kunye nombelekisi wakho ngenkxaso yempilo yengqondo.
• Jonga kwiijenali zoxinzelelo ukuze ukwazi ukulandelela imeko yakho.
• Zama ukufunda iincwadi ezizolisayo.
• Gcina onke amayeza owasebenzisayo.
• Zama nje ukugcina uhlobo oluthile lwesiqhelo ngoku - kuba yeyona nto unokuyenza kunye nosana lwakho.

Kulungile ukuba woyike ngoku. Masijongane nayo, sonke sinjalo. Kodwa sinokufikelela kuyo. Kwaye sinethamsanqa eliza kufumana olona hlobo lothando lubalaseleyo emhlabeni ngalo lonke eli xesha linzima.

Ke zama ukugxila kuloo nto, nakwizinto ezilungileyo eziza kuza-kuba kuya kubakho okuninzi.

UHattie Gladwell yintatheli yezempilo yengqondo, umbhali kunye nommeli. Ubhala ngokugula kwengqondo enethemba lokunciphisa ibala kunye nokukhuthaza abanye ukuba bathethe.