Ukuqala isondo akufuneki ukuba kube nzima - Nantsi indlela yokwenza iMovement yakho

Umxholo

• Phosa into ocinga ukuba uyazi
• Kuyamangalisa kuphela ukuba uyenza engaqhelekanga
• Akukho sayizi-yobungakanani obufanelekileyo-sonke iskripthi
• Yenze ibe yeyakho
• Kucace gca kunokuba kucace
• Yenze usuku lokulandela
• Funda ulwimi lwabo lothando
• Imvume kuphela kwesiqhelo
• Kwiindawo eziqhelekileyo
• Intlanganiso yoluntu
• Ubomi besicelo
• Kubudlelwane obusandul 'ukwenziwa
• Umntu odibanise naye amaxesha ambalwa
• Umntu okhe 'umbona' kodwa khange ulalane naye
• Umntu obukade uthandana naye kwaye ulala naye… kodwa intsha
• Kubudlelwane obumiselweyo
• Kubudlelwane bexesha elide
• Yenza u-Ewe, hayi, mhlawumbi uluhlu
• Yiya kwivenkile ethengisa isondo
• Ishedyuli ngesondo
• Tshintshisana
• Ukuzinononga kwenza ugqibelele

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Ukuqalisa isondo sooo intshukumo yangaphambi kwe # MeToo. Ukumema umntu ukuba abelane ngesondo kungaphezulu kakhulu (funda: ukuvumelana kunye nokubandakanya isini).

Apha ngezantsi, utitshala wezesondo kunye ne-activist ka-Agasti McLaughlin, umbhali we "Girl Boner" kunye ne "Girl Boner Journal," kunye noGqirha uChris Donaghue, ingcali yezesondo kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo kwiiKhondom zeSKYN, chaza amagama aphantsi angathandekiyo ngaphambili, kwaye njani isimemo Ukwabelana ngesondo yindlela evumayo kunye esekwe kulonwabo yokufumana.

Kwaye, "ungasithumela njani" eso simemo kuwo onke amabakala kubudlelwane.

Phosa into ocinga ukuba uyazi

Yivume: Ibinzana elithi "qalisa isondo" lipeyinta umfanekiso wendoda elambileyo yesini epeyinta iqabane lakhe elingaphantsi kunelinenkululeko- aka yi-AF yakudala.

Iphelelwe lixesha kwaye inengxaki ukucinga ukuba ii-cis dudes zinoxanduva lokuqalisa isondo, utsho uDonaghue. Yindalo endala yokuba onke amadoda ayazixhasa ngokwesini kwaye ahlala ekwiimvakalelo. "

Umchithi: Akunjalo.

"Umnqweno uzimeleyo kwaye awusekelwanga kwisini okanye kwisini," utshilo uMcLaughlin. "Nawuphi na umntu angafuna kwaye emva koko athathe amanyathelo okwenza ukuba kwenzeke isondo."

Ukumema kukwabonisa ukuba omnye umntu (abantu) banokuthi hayi ngendlela eqala ngokwesiqhelo ayenzi.

“Ngesimemo sesini, uyangena, ngokuchaseneyo ngokuqinisekileyo ukuqala into, ”Wongeza uMcLaughlin.

Kuyamangalisa kuphela ukuba uyenza engaqhelekanga

Ukwenza nantoni na ixesha lokuqala liza kuziva lincinci. Cinga: ukujija iklabhu yegalufa, ukuqhuba kwicala lasekhohlo lendlela, ukudibana nabazali bakho.

Kuyafana nokumema umntu ukuba abelane ngesondo okokuqala-nokuba loo nto ine-boo yexesha elide okanye umdlalo weTinder.

Eyona meko ilungileyo- nokuba lolonwabo, imizimba ehamba ze, ii-cuddles, okanye enye into-kufanelekile ukoyisa ezo mvakalelo.

Kuba ukumema umntu ukuba abelane ngesondo kukwathetha ukumema ukubanakho ukuba abafuni ukulala ngesondo, uMcLaughlin ucebisa ngokwenza ubugcisa bokwaliwa esipilini.

"Ukuba umntu uthi hayi okanye akavumi, mbulele ngokwabelana nokuhlonipha imida yabo, emva koko udlulele phambili."

UDonaghue uthi kuyanceda ukukhumbula ukuba ukwaliwa komntu ngokwesondo kuhlala kungekho ngawe.

"Oku kuhlala kunjalo malunga neemvakalelo zabo, ukuzithemba komzimba, ukungabikho kwekhemistri phakathi kwenu nobabini, okanye enye into eyenzekayo kwihlabathi labo."

Akukho sayizi-yobungakanani obufanelekileyo-sonke iskripthi

Ukuhamba ujikeleza indlu kwigumbi lakho lokulala kunokukunceda ukuba ubekwe xa ixesha lakho elide, uhlala kwi-boo usekhaya. Ngokucacileyo ayizukuphantse isebenze ukuba umntu ofuna ukumbona kumdlalo weTinder uhlala kwiikhilomitha ezingama-300.

Ngubani oqala ukulala naye ngokwenza umahluko. Kuyafana nalapho ukhoyo ngexesha lokuqalisa.

Okwangoku, kukho izinto ezisisiseko ezenziwayo ukugcina phezulu kwengqondo.

Yenze ibe yeyakho

Njengomgaqo ngokubanzi, okungakumbi ukwenziwa komntu oza kubakho kulunge ngakumbi.

Meaning: Andiyo ngokubanzi ibhola yenyama. Ndiyibhola yenyama yehorn ngendlela amathole akho abukeka ngayo kwezo zithende okanye indlela ii-biceps zakho ezizalisa ngayo loo tee.

Abantu bathanda ukuziva befunwa.

Kucace gca kunokuba kucace

Nokuba ucinga ukuba ucace gca, unokucaca. Ingakumbi ukuba i-boo yakho ngumphulaphuli olungileyo.

Ukuba into oyifunayo kukuhla kubo, yitsho. Ukuba into oyifunayo ikhawuleza kwindawo yokuhlambela, yitsho njalo.

Xa ungekho kwimeko yesondo okanye ucinga ukuba unayo, ukusuka apho ukuya kwisondo kunokuziva kukude.

Ukunika umntu imeko ethile yesondo kumnika ngakumbi ukuba ahambe. Ukuba iyaphela yenzekile, ikunika kanye le nto uyifunayo.

Yenze usuku lokulandela

Ngaba unephupha elingcolileyo malunga ne-FWB yakho? Cinga ngomdlalo obukade uncokola nawo kwishower? Uyayikhumbula indlela iqabane lakho elingcamla ngayo kwindlela eya emsebenzini?

Xelela 'em. Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngefowuni yeyona nto iphambili.

Qala ngento enomdla, kwaye ukuba bayaphendula ngohlobo, vumela i-convo yakhe ngaphezulu kwendlela yosuku.

Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, bayayivala incoko, musa ukuyibila - qhubeka nosuku lwakho.

Funda ulwimi lwabo lothando

Oku kunokuba nzima ukuphumeza ukuba liqabane lesini eliqhelekileyo, kodwa zama ukulungelelanisa isimemo sakho kwindlela iqabane lakho elifumana ngayo uthando.

Ukuba ulwimi lwabo luthola izipho, unokuzama ukubanika iipanty, kunye nebhokisi entsha yeekhondom, okanye into yokudlala ngesondo obukade uncokola ngayo.

Ukuba ulwimi lwabo lothando ngamagama angqinayo, qhubeka uye ubazise ukuba bashushu kangakanani na xa uphuza intamo yabo, okanye ujike njani xa ubabukela bedanisa.

Imvume kuphela kwesiqhelo

Hayi ifs, ands, okanye buts. Okanye iimpundu.

Yinto enye ukwanga iqabane lakho - xa ukwanga yinxalenye eqhelekileyo yendlela onxibelelana ngayo - ukuze ubancede bangene kwimood.

Yinto eyahlukileyo ukuba ungaqala ngokwanga iibits kunye neebobs zabo ngaphandle kokucela imvume kuqala.

“Ufuna ukuba isenzo sakho sesondo similiselwe kulonwabo kunye nentuthuzelo kuye wonke umntu, akunjalo? Kulungile apho kungena ngemvume evuthayo, utshilo uDonaghue.

Ngaphandle kwemvume enomdla, ayisiyiyo isondo, utsho. Kukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo.

Kwiindawo eziqhelekileyo

Uninzi lwee-hookups ezingaqhelekanga ziwela kwenye yeenkampu ezimbini: abantu odibana nabo kwi-IRL kunye nabantu odibana nabo kwi-Intanethi. Inkqubo yakho nganye yahluke kancinane.

Intlanganiso yoluntu

Dibana nomntu kwindawo yokubhowula, ibha, okanye i-speakeasy ofuna ukuyithatha ekhaya?

"Qala ngentetho encinci encinci ngaphambi kokuba uye ngqo sex," utshilo uMcLaughlin. Oku kuya kukunceda uqiniseke ukuba ufuna ukulala nabo (kubalulekile!).

Ukuba usenomdla emva kwengxoxo encinci, ucebisa ukuba uhambe ngokunyanisekileyo nangentlonipho.

Umzekelo, "Ndiyazi ukuba asazani, kodwa ndingakubuza umbuzo wobuqu?"

Ukuba impendulo nguewe, fumanisa ukuba bayathandana na kwaye, ukuba kunjalo, ukuba banezivumelwano zobudlelwane, ezinjengokuba nomntu ongatshatanga naye.

Olunye ukhetho: "Ndicinga ukuba uyinyani [faka isichazi sokwenyani nesichaziweyo apha] kwaye, ukuba unomdla, ndingathanda ukukuphuza kwaye mhlawumbi ndibone apho kuya khona. Ukuba ayilunganga loo nto. ”

Ubomi besicelo

Izitshisi ziswayipha ngezizathu ezininzi. Ukuba eyakho kungenxa yokuba ufuna ukwabelana ngesondo, kufuneka ucace.

Eminye imigca onokuzama ngayo nomhlobo okwi-Intanethi:

• "Ndifuna ukulahla lonke uhanahaniso kwaye ndicace gca: ukongeza [kumhla womsebenzi apha], ndingathanda [ukwenza isenzo sesondo apha] ngoLwesine. Ngaba ukulungele oko? ”
• “Injani inkqubo yakho kwiveki ezayo? Ndingathanda ekugqibeleni [ukufaka isenzo sesondo apha]. "
• “Phambi kokuba sihlangane ngobuqu ndifuna ukuba phambili: Ndikhangela amaqabane ezesondo ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba yile nto sizakuyifumana komnye nomnye. Ukuba ayisiyiyo le uyikhangelayo, ndiyiqonda ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba kungcono xa simisa umhla wethu ukuba asikho kwiphepha elinye. ”

Kubudlelwane obusandul 'ukwenziwa

Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zobudlelwane obutsha. Nantsi indlela yokuhamba kwezinye zazo.

Umntu odibanise naye amaxesha ambalwa

"Uvukile?" uye, ngokuqinisekileyo, uye waba kuyo yonke indawo ngo “kusemva kobusuku ezinzulwini zobusuku. Ndifuna ukuza kunye ne-bang-a-lang-ngokungakhathali, ngokucacileyo. ”

Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuyila nokutshatisa zokuqalisa ukuhlangana nomntu owabelana naye ngesondo. Umzekelo:

• “Ndikonwabele kakhulu ukuzokuhla kuwe kwimpelaveki edlulileyo. Ukuba ujikeleze kamva ndingathanda impinda. "
• "Ukucinga ngendlela ojonge ngayo kwimakhishithi kwaye ungathanda ukuba nawe ngokuchasene kamva ngokuhlwa ukuba unomdla."
• “Unantoni ngokuhlwa nje? Ndingacebisa ukuba sidibane sidlale isidlidliza sam esitsha kunye. ”

Umntu okhe 'umbona' kodwa khange ulalane naye

Ke uye waya kwiintsuku ezimbalwa. Mhlawumbi utyibilikisiwe. Kodwa khange ubenayo i-S-E-X.

Ukuhamba kwakho: Musa ukwenza enye! Ubuncinci hayi ngaphambi kokuthetha malunga nokuba nobabini nifuna ukwabelana ngesondo.

"Awufuni ukucinga ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba baya kufuna ukulala ngesondo ngenxa yokuba uhamba nemihla kunye nokumanga," kusho uMcLaughlin. Kulungile!

Ezinye iindlela zokuzisa:

• “Bendikonwabele ukukwazi kunye nokukuncamisa. Ndifuna nje ukujonga ubushushu kwaye ndibone ukuba unomdla wokwenza okungaphezulu kokuncamisa. ”
• “Ndiyakonwabela ukukwazi kwaye, ukuba uziva ngendlela efanayo, ndingathanda ukuqhubela phambili. Ungaziva njani ngokwenza ubuze uze ubone apho izinto ziya khona? ”

Unokusebenzisa oku njengethuba lokuthetha ngemeko yangoku ye-STI. Umzekelo:

• "Bendikonwabele ukuba semzimbeni nawe kwaye ndingathanda ukulala ngesondo. Ukuba leyo yinto ongathanda nayo, ndingathanda ukuba sobabini sivavanyelwe ii-STIs. "

Umntu obukade uthandana naye kwaye ulala naye… kodwa intsha

Ikofu emnyama okanye ngekhilimu. Isondo lasekuseni okanye ebusuku. Ukuqala kobudlelwane kugcwele zonke iintlobo zokufunda.

Indlela abathanda ngayo ukumenywa ukuba babelane ngesondo yenye yezo zinto.

Okwangoku, ukwinqanaba elilungileyo kubudlelwane bakho ukubuza iqabane lakho le mibuzo ilandelayo:

• Ngaba ukhetha ukuba ndiqalise ngesondo ngomlomo ("Ngaba ufuna ukubang?") Okanye ngokuthinta inkanuko, njengokuncamisa okanye ukwangana okwandisiweyo?
• Ngaba ukhetha ukubuzwa ngokuthe ngqo (“Ngaba ukwimeko yokufumana i-quickie?”) Okanye ngeendlela ezifihlakeleyo (ngokulukuhla kunye nokudlala ngothando)?

Kubudlelwane obumiselweyo

Ke, udlulile ekwazini isigaba kunye nokwazi ngokupheleleyo ukuba iqabane lakho lithanda ukuqala njani ixesha lokuthandana. Yiba nayo!

"Kwaye ukuba awukaqiniseki, buza - akukaze kube semva kwexesha," utshilo uMcLaughlin.

Kubudlelwane bexesha elide

Mhlawumbi benineminyaka engama-20 nitshatile, amaqabane aphambili ali-15, okanye aneminyaka emi-3 nihlala kunye.

Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, ukuba uziva ngathi lixesha elinomtsalane kwakhona liqala ngokuchanekileyo ( * yawn *), uMcLaughlin unikezela ngezi ngcebiso zilandelayo ukuqala ngesondo ngeendlela ezintsha.

Yenza u-Ewe, hayi, mhlawumbi uluhlu

Gcwalisa ewe / hayi / mhlawumbi uluhlu (olufana nolu okanye olu) ngenye imva kwemini. Emva koko, kwixa elizayo xa ukwimeko onokuthi ngayo, "Ungavakalelwa njani ngokundwendwela olo luhlu?"

Yiya kwivenkile ethengisa isondo

Ukubalwa kwe-Intanethi, nako!

Tshintshanani ukongeza imveliso yolonwabo kwinqwelo. Oku kuyakwenza ukuba uthethe ngesondo ngendlela entsha, utshilo uMcLaughlin - inyathelo # 1 lokwabelana ngesondo (kunye nokwabelana ngesondo ngeendlela ezintsha).

Ithemba, xa ufika ekhaya okanye loo phakheji ifikile, amathuba okuba awuyi kwenza lukhulu ekuqaliseni. Nobabini niya kuba nomdla wokuzama izinto zenu ezintsha.

Ishedyuli ngesondo

Ixesha lokuvumelanisa ezo khalenda zikaGoogle kwaye ufumane ubusuku (okanye kusasa!) Xa unexesha lokuma (okanye ukuxoka, Wink) umhla wesini.

Sebenzisa ixesha lokunxibelelana, ubukele iphonografi kunye, wenze, uhlambe kunye, okanye uphulula amalungu esini ecaleni kwelinye.

Ukuba akukho sini senzekayo, akukho biggie. Injongo kukuqalisa isondo, hayi ukuba wabelane ngesondo.

Tshintshisana

Masithi unobusuku bomhla weveki. Zama ukutshintshana phakathi kwabantu abenza isini- ngaloo ndlela akukho mntu uziva ngathi ngumsebenzi wabo, utshilo uMcLaughlin.

Ukuzinononga kwenza ugqibelele

I-cliché, kodwa yinyani!

Okukhona uzibeka phaya, kuya kuba lula ukubuza into oyifunayo (iswiti, uthando olumnandi) -kuye kube lula ukungazithathi ngokobuqu ukuba umntu lowo akanamdla.

UGabrielle Kassel ngumbhali wezesondo kunye nowezempilo waseNew York kunye noMqeqeshi oMgangatho weCrossFit. Uye wangumntu wakusasa, wavavanywa ngaphezulu kwe-200 vibrators, watya, wanxila, wahlanjwa ngamalahle- konke egameni lobuntatheli. Ngexesha lakhe lokuphumla, unokufunyanwa efunda iincwadi zokuzinceda kunye neenoveli zothando, ukucofa ibhentshi, okanye ukungqungqa. Mlandele kwi-Instagram.