Ukufumana nokwazi umntwana wakho ongaphakathi

Umxholo

• 1. Gcina ingqondo ivulekile
• 2. Funa ukhokelo kubantwana
• 3. Phinda uqwalasele iinkumbulo zobuntwana
• Umsebenzi wokubonisa
• 4. Chitha ixesha usenza izinto obukade uzonwabela
• 5. Thetha nomntwana wakho ongaphakathi
• 6. Thetha nonyango
• Umgca wezantsi

Mhlawumbi uye wenza iimbekiselo ezimbalwa kumntwana wakho wangaphakathi ngaphambili.

"Ndingumntwana wam ongaphakathi," usenokuthi, ngelixa utsibela ujingi epakini, uleqa umntu ohlala naye endlini ngompu weNerf, okanye ungene emanzini ubhinqe iimpahla zakho.

Uninzi lulanda umxholo womntwana ongaphakathi kugqirha wezifo zengqondo uCarl Jung, owachaza iarchetype yomntwana emsebenzini wakhe. Unxibelelanise lo mntwana wangaphakathi kumava adlulileyo kunye neenkumbulo zokuba msulwa, ukudlala, kunye nobuchule, kunye nethemba ngekamva.

Ezinye iingcali ngalo mntwana ungaphakathi njengombonakaliso hayi nje womntwana wakho, kodwa amava akho aphila kuwo onke amabakala obomi. Umntwana ongaphakathi ukwaziwa njengomthombo wamandla, kuba amava okuqala angadlala indima ebalulekileyo ekukhuleni kwakho njengomntu omkhulu.

Oku kunokuhamba omabini la macala, nangona: Xa amava obuntwana ekuchaphazela kakubi, umntwana wakho ongaphakathi unokuqhubeka nokuthwala la manxeba ude ujonge umthombo.

"Ngamnye wethu unomntwana wangaphakathi, okanye indlela yokuphila," kusho uDkt.UDiana Raab, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nombhali. Ukuqhagamshelana nomntwana wakho wangaphakathi kunokunceda ukukhuthaza impilo kunye nokuzisa ukukhanya ebomini.

Ucacisa ukuba umntwana ongaphakathi ophilileyo unokubonakala edlala, efana nomntwana, kwaye emnandi, ngelixa umntwana wangaphakathi owenzakeleyo okanye owenzakeleyo enokujongana nemiceli mngeni njengomntu omdala, ngakumbi xa ebangelwa ziziganeko ezizisa iinkumbulo zamanxeba adlulileyo.

Ukulungele ukufikelela kumntwana wakho wangaphakathi? Zama ezi ndlela zintandathu.

1. Gcina ingqondo ivulekile

Kulungile ukuziva ungaqinisekanga malunga nombono womntwana ongaphakathi. Kodwa akufuneki ujonge lo "mntwana" njengomntu owahlukileyo okanye ubuntu. Endaweni yoko, ziqwalasele njengokubonisa amava akho angaphambili.

Kubantu abaninzi, elidlulileyo liqulethe imixholo yeziganeko ezilungileyo nezingalunganga. Ezi meko zikunceda wenze isimilo sakho kwaye ukhokele ukhetho kunye neenjongo zakho njengoko ukhula kwaye ekugqibeleni ufikelela ebudaleni.

icebisa ukuba la mava okuqala angadlali nje indima ebalulekileyo kuphuhliso. Ukuqonda okunzulu ngesiqu sakho esidlulileyo kunokuba yinto ephambili ukonwabela impilo ephucukileyo kunye nokuba sempilweni kamva ebomini.

NgokukaKim Egel, ingcali kwezonyango eCardiff, eCalifornia, nabani na anganxibelelana nomntwana wakhe wangaphakathi kwaye axhamle kule nkqubo. Kodwa ukuxhathisa okanye ukungabikho kwenkolelo yokuba unokunxibelelana ngamanye amaxesha kunokubonisa isithintelo.

Ukuba unamathandabuzo athile, yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Zama ukujonga umsebenzi wangaphakathi womntwana njengendlela yokujonga ubudlelwane bakho kunye nexesha elidlulileyo, akukho nto iyenye. Olu luvo lunokukunceda ukuba usondele kwinkqubo ngesimo sokufuna ukwazi.

2. Funa ukhokelo kubantwana

Abantwana banokukufundisa okuninzi ngobomi, ukusuka ekufumaneni uvuyo kwizinto ezincinci ukuya ekuhlaleni okwangoku.

Ukuba uyasokola ukucinga emva kumava amnandi ebuntwaneni, ukuzibandakanya kumdlalo wokuyila nabantwana kunokunceda ekuvuseleleni ezi nkumbulo kwaye zikubuyisele ekunxibelelaneni nokonwaba kweentsuku ezilula.

Naluphi na uhlobo lokudlala lunokuba nesibonelelo. Imidlalo efana nethegi okanye ukufihla-kunye nokufuna kunokukunceda ukuba uhambe kwaye uzive ukhululekile kwaye ungathintelwa kwakhona. Ukudlala okholwayo kunokukunceda ucinge emva kweengcinga zobuntwana kunye nokuba zazithetha ntoni kuwe.

Ukuba ujongene nobunzima obuthile okanye amaxesha omothuko okanye ukuphazamiseka, umzekelo, usenokuba ucinga iimeko ezithile ezikuncede ukuba umelane kwaye uzive ukhuseleke ngakumbi.

Ukwenza ixesha lokudlala nabantwana bakho akupheleli nje ekunyuseni imeko yakho yokudlala kunye nentetho yobutsha. Ikwanefuthe elihle kwintlalontle yabo, ngokuyinxenye ngokuba negalelo kuphuhliso lwe yabo isiqu sakho sangaphakathi.

Ukuba awunabo abantwana bakho, unokuchitha ixesha nabantwana bezihlobo zakho okanye izalamane zakho.

Ukubukela iimovie okanye iinkqubo zikamabonwakude ukususela ebuntwaneni bakho, okanye ukuphinda ufunde ezinye zeencwadi zakho ozithandayo, kunokuba yindlela eluncedo yokuvuselela iimvakalelo ezintle.

3. Phinda uqwalasele iinkumbulo zobuntwana

Ukuphonononga iinkumbulo zakudala kunokukunceda unxibelelane nomntwana wakho ongaphakathi.

Iifoto kunye nezinye izikhumbuzo zinokukunceda ukubuyela kwisithuba seemvakalelo esiboniswe kwimifanekiso nakumagama exesha elidlulileyo, u-Egel ucacisa. Ukujonga emva, unokuzama imisebenzi efana nokutsiba kwiifoto ze-albhamu kunye neencwadi zonyaka zesikolo, okanye ukuphinda ufunde iidayari zobuntwana.

Ukuba abazali bakho, abantakwenu, okanye abahlobo bakho bobuntwana banamabali okwabelana ngawo, oku kukhumbula kunokuvusa iimvakalelo kunye neenkumbulo ozibulibele kwaphela.

U-Egel ukwacebisa ukubonwa, zihlala ziyinxalenye yeendlela zokucamngca, njengendlela elungileyo yokuphinda uqhagamshele.

Umsebenzi wokubonisa

Yiba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wakho njengomntwana, usebenzisa iifoto ezindala ukukhokela xa kukho imfuneko. Yongeza iinkcukacha kwindawo leyo ngokucinga ngempahla oyithandayo, into yokudlala oyithandayo, okanye indawo okhe wayonwabela. Khawufane ucinge ukuba ubuphi, ubunabani, kwaye wenzani kwaye uziva ntoni.

Ngaba uziva ulahlekile, ungaqinisekanga, okanye uwedwa? Okanye womelele, umxholo, kwaye unethemba?

Ukuba ufumana umntwana wakho wangaphakathi kwindawo yokubandezeleka, unokubanceda baphilise. Kodwa umntwana wakho ongaphakathi naye angaboleka wena amandla: Ukufumana kwakhona ulutsha iimvakalelo zokumangaliswa, ukuba nethemba kunye novuyo olulula ebomini kunokunceda ukomeleza ukuzithemba kunye nokuba sempilweni.

4. Chitha ixesha usenza izinto obukade uzonwabela

Xa usiya umazi umntwana wakho wangaphakathi, cinga ngezinto ezaye zonwabisa kuwe ebuntwaneni.

Mhlawumbi uye wahamba ngebhayisikile uye kumlanjana rhoqo ehlotyeni kunye nabahlobo bakho ababalaseleyo ukudada okanye ukuloba. Okanye mhlawumbi ubuthandile ukuchitha ixesha lasehlotyeni ufunda kwi-attic yakho enothuli. Mhlawumbi uchithe iiyure kwezobugcisa, okanye i-roller-skated kwivenkile esekoneni yeqhekeza emva kwesikolo.

Njengomntwana, kunokwenzeka ukuba wenza izinto ezininzi ukonwaba. Awuzange unayo ukuzenza, ubufuna nje. Kodwa usenokuba nobunzima bokukhumbula okokugqibela xa wenze into ebomini bakho ngenxa yokuba ikonwabisile.

Imisebenzi yoyilo enjengombala, i-doodling, okanye ukupeyinta kunokunceda, nako. Xa uvumela ingqondo yakho esebenzayo ukuba iphumle, iimvakalelo oqhele ukungaziqwalaseli zinokuvela kubugcisa bakho, ngezandla zakho.

Ezinye zeemvakalelo zinokubopha kwiindawo ezingcwatyelweyo okanye ezilityelweyo, njengomntwana wakho ongaphakathi.

5. Thetha nomntwana wakho ongaphakathi

Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokunxibelelana nomntwana wakho ongaphakathi kukuvula incoko.

"Ukuba sinamanxeba ngenxa yokwenzakala, ukubhala malunga noloyiko kunokusinceda sinxibelelane nomntwana ngaphakathi," ucacisa uRaab.

"Ngeli xesha lokudityaniswa kwakhona, singena kwaye mhlawumbi siqonde ezinye zezizathu zoloyiko lwabantu abadala, i-phobias, kunye neepatheni zobomi. Ukuqonda umntwana wethu ongaphakathi kusinceda ukuba sibone izizathu zokuba sibe yile nto siyiyo namhlanje. "

Ukubhala kunokuba sisixhobo esinamandla sokunxibelelana nomntwana wakho ongaphakathi, ngenxa yoko akufuneki uthethe ngokuvakalayo- nangona unako, ukuba kuyanceda.

Ukubhala ileta, okanye ukubhala ngokukhululekileyo malunga neenkumbulo zobuntwana, kunokukunceda uphonononge amava adlulileyo kwaye uhlele ngokweemvakalelo ezinxulumene noko.

Zama ukubamba ingcinga ethile entlokweni yakho ukukhokela ileta yakho okanye umthambo wokushicilela, okanye usebenzise ukubhala komjelo wengqondo ukubonisa naziphi na iingcinga eziza engqondweni.

Unokuyibeka njengemibuzo kunye neempendulo. Vumela umntu wakho omdala ukuba abuze imibuzo emntwaneni wakho, emva koko umamele indlela aphendula ngayo.

Mhlawumbi umntwana wakho uqobo mncinci, usesichengeni, kwaye ufuna ukhuseleko nenkxaso. Mhlawumbi kwelinye icala kuyonwabisa. Ukuphendula nayiphi na imibuzo onayo umntwana wakho kunokukunceda ukuba uqale ukuphilisa ukukhubazeka kwangaphakathi okanye uxinzelelo.

Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive usoyika malunga nento umntwana wakho ongaphakathi afuna ukwabelana ngayo, ngakumbi ukuba uye wangcwaba amava amabi adlulileyo okanye iimvakalelo ezinzima.

Kodwa cinga ngalo msebenzi njengendlela yokuseka nokomeleza ubudlelwane phakathi kwesiqu sakho ngoku kunye nomntwana wakho.

6. Thetha nonyango

Ukuba ukufikelela kumntwana wakho ongaphakathi kubangela ukungonwabi okanye iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu, kubandakanya usizi, iinkumbulo ezibuhlungu, kunye neemvakalelo zokungancedi okanye uloyiko, u-Egel ucebisa ukuba afune isikhokelo kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo.

"Ingcali inokubonelela ngenkxaso kwaye ikwazise ngeendlela zokulwa ezinokukunceda ujongane nomothuko kunye neemvakalelo zangaphambili," utshilo.

Abanye oochwephesha banokuba namava kunye noqeqesho oluninzi ngomsebenzi womntwana ongaphakathi kunabanye, u-Egel ucacisa. "Ukubuza abanokuba ngabanyangi malunga namava abo ngomsebenzi womntwana ongaphakathi kunokukunceda ufumane umntu ofanelekileyo wokuxhasa ukukhula kunye nokuphilisa kwakho," utshilo.

Ukuba kunokwenzeka, khangela ugqirha onamava kunyango lwabantwana ngaphakathi. Le ndlela yokusebenza isebenza kwimbono yokuba iimpawu zempilo yengqondo, ukuxhalaba kobudlelwane, kunye nolunye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo zihlala zivela kwintlungu engasonjululwanga okanye iimvakalelo ezicinezelweyo.

Ukufunda "ukukhulisa" umntwana wakho ongaphakathi kunyango kunokukunceda ukuba uqale uphendule kwaye usombulule le micimbi.

Umgca wezantsi

Ukufumana umntwana wakho ongaphakathi akuthethi ukuba awukakhuli okanye awufuni ukukhula.

Endaweni yoko, inokunceda ekwenzeni kube lula ukuqonda amava akho abantu abadala, uphilise kwiintlungu zangaphambili, kwaye uphathe nayiphi na imiceli mngeni ngokuzimela.

Kuba ukubetha kolu lwazi lomntwana wakho kunokukunceda ukuba uphinde ufumane uvuyo kwaye uzibuze, unokuyithatha njengendlela yokuzikhathalela.

Awungekhe umbone okanye umve umntwana wakho wangaphakathi ngokucacileyo, kodwa ukwenza unxibelelwano kunye nale nxalenye yakho kunokukhokelela kulwazelelo olunamandla ngakumbi.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.