Ileta evela kuMhleli: Ixesha elinzima kunabo bonke

Umxholo

• Into endinqwenela ndiyazi ngoko
• Ukungachumi kwakuyinto yethu
• Yi le hayi thina
• Ukuthula akuyogolide kangako
• Ithemba alisoze lacinywa

Into endinqwenela ndiyazi ngoko

Zininzi izinto endinqwenela ukuzazi ngaphambi kokuzama ukukhulelwa.

Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyazi ukuba iimpawu zokukhulelwa azibonisi kwangoko xa uqala ukuzama. Kuhlazisa ukuba mangaphi amaxesha ndicinga ukuba ndikhulelwe ngaphandle kwesizathu.

Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyazi ukuba ngenxa yokuba mna nomyeni wam sisitya sisempilweni kakhulu kwaye sizilolonga rhoqo, oko akukuniki indlela elula yokukhulelwa. Siyi-juices-drink-green-juice, uhlobo oluhamba-kunye-lwesibini-sasicinga ukuba sicacile.

Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyazi ukuba ukuhamba ngebhayisikile imilenze yam emoyeni kangangemizuzu engama-20 emva kokwabelana ngesondo bekungazukunyusa amathuba am. Hayi, mhlawumbi loo nto yayiyinto efanelekileyo yokuzilolonga ab ubuncinci?

Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyazi ukuba ukukhulelwa kunokuba yeyona nto inzima kuhambo lobuzali. Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyazi ukuba isibini esi-8 kwisibini siyasokola ukukhulelwa. Ndinqwenela ukuba umntu alumkise ukuba ukungachumi yinto, kwaye inokuba njalo yethu into.

Ukungachumi kwakuyinto yethu

NgoFebruwari 14, 2016, mna nomyeni wam safumanisa ukuba sasiphakathi komtshato omnye kwizibini ezisi-8. Besizame iinyanga ezili-9. Ukuba ubukhe waphila ubomi bakho ngokusekwe kucwangciso lokwabelana ngesondo, ukuthatha ubushushu bomzimba wakho, kunye nokuchama kwi-ovulation stick kuphela ukubangela ukuba uchame kuvavanyo lokukhulelwa olungaphumelelanga emva kovavanyo lokukhulelwa olungaphumelelanga, iinyanga ezili-9 zinaphakade.

Ndagula kukuva, "Mnike unyaka-ingathatha ixesha elingakanani!" kuba bendisazi ukuba ubucukubhede bam babukrelekrele kunayo nayiphi na imigaqo. Ndayazi ukuba into ayilunganga.

Ngomhla weValentine, safumana iindaba zokuba sinemiba yokungachumi. Iintliziyo zethu zema. Isicwangciso sobomi bethu-esasisibethelele ngokugqibeleleyo kude kube kweli nqanaba-sadilika.

Into esasifuna ukuyenza yayikukulingana kwisahluko "sokufumana umntwana" kwincwadi yethu. Sasingazi ukuba sele iza kuba yinoveli yayo, kuba ukungachumi yayiyidabi elide esingakulungelanga ukuba silwe.

Yi le hayi thina

Ngethuba lokuqala uva igama lokuzala, awunakukunceda kodwa ucinge, akukho ndlela, hayi mna, hayi thina. Ayinakwenzeka loo nto. Kukho ukukhanyela, kodwa ke intlungu yokwamkela inyani ikubetha kakhulu ithatha umphefumlo wakho. Inyanga nganye edlula ngaphandle kokuba iphupha lakho lizalisekisiwe sesinye isisindo esongezwe emagxeni akho. Kwaye ubunzima bokulinda abunyamezeleki.

Kananjalo besingakulungelanga ukungachumi ukuba ngumsebenzi wesibini ngokusisigxina. Kwakufuneka silwe ngamakhulu okuqeshwa koogqirha, uqhaqho, ukuqaqanjelwa yintliziyo, kunye nokudubula emva kokudutyulwa sinethemba lokuba iihomoni ze-IVF ezongeziweyo, ukutyeba kobunzima, ukudinwa komzimba kunye nengqondo kuko konke oko kungakhokelela kusana olunye usuku.

Saziva sodwa, sodwa, kwaye sinentloni kuba kutheni kwakubonakala ngathi wonke umntu okufutshane nathi wayekhulelwa ngokulula? Ngaba yayisithi sodwa isibini emhlabeni esihamba noku?

Okulungileyo nokungalunganga kwayo: Asikuphela kwethu. Kukho ilali ngaphandle phaya, kwaye bonke bakwisikhephe esinye, kodwa senzelwe ukuba sikholwe ukuba kufuneka sithule kuba ayisiyondaba, ibali elilungileyo.

Ukuthula akuyogolide kangako

Uhambo lunzima ngokwaneleyo, ke ukuhlala uthule akufuneki kube yinxalenye yesicwangciso somdlalo. Ukuba unengxaki yokukhulelwa, uHealthline Parenthood uyazi ukuba ufuna inkxaso engakumbi ukuze uzive uwedwa. Injongo yethu kukutshintsha incoko malunga nokungachumi ukuze abantu bazive benamandla okwabelana ngebali labo, bangabi nazintloni.

Kungenxa yoko le nto sidale isiQinisekiso sokuqala soKuqala kuba, kwabanye bethu, ukuzama ukukhulelwa yeyona trimester inzima kunazo zonke.

La manqaku enzelwe ukunxibelelana nawe, ukukuxhasa, kunye nokukunceda uzive ngathi uyinxalenye yelali. Uyakuva iingcebiso kunye nenkuthazo kumntu okhoyo kule leta eya kumncinci wakhe, ukuba ukungazali akunyanzelekanga ukuba kube yimfihlo kwakhona, kunye nebali lomfazi omjikelezo wakhe urhoxisiweyo kusuku olungaphambi kokuba ebefanele qala ngenxa ye-COVID-19. Uyakufumana inkxaso yamalungiselelo ukuba uyazibuza ukuba yintoni i-IVF, kubandakanya ixesha elingakanani emva kovavanyo lwe-IUI, kwaye loluphi uhlobo lweyoga elungileyo ekuchumeni kwakho.

Uhambo lokungachumi luyeyona nto isemagqabini ukusuka ekukhweleni wedwa, ke siyathemba ukuba la manqaku aza kukukhuthaza ukuba wabelane ngebali lakho, nokuba likwi-Instagram okanye uyokutya isidlo sangokuhlwa nabantu osebenza nabo. Vula intliziyo yakho kwinto yokuba nantoni na owabelana nayo, nokuba yinkcaza nje enye encinci, inokunceda omnye umntu, kwaye emva koko inokukunceda ufumane ilali yakho.

Ithemba alisoze lacinywa

Olwam uhambo lokungachumi lundifundise okuninzi malunga nokuba singobani njengesibini, ndingubani njengomntu, kwaye ngoku singabazali. Njengokuba ndihleli apha ndibhala le nto, ndimamele imbiza neepani zam zeminyaka emibini ngoku ezinje ngemigqomo, ndicinga ngazo zonke izinto endinqwenela ukuba ndizazi ngelo xesha. Ukuba uhamba ngento efanayo, ezi ziya kuba zizifundo oza kuzikhetha apha endleleni.

Amandla akho aya kukumangalisa. Kukho kuphela umntu omnye kwabasi-8 ohamba kule nto kuba ndiqinisekile ukuba kuthatha umntu okhethekileyo okanye izibini ezomeleleyo ukuze zikwazi ukuvuka ntsasa nganye kwaye zijongane nokungachumi emehlweni.

Uhambo lude. Izele zintlungu. Kodwa ukuba ugcina iso lakho kumvuzo, kwaye intliziyo yakho ivulelekile kumathuba amaninzi okuzisa umntwana kulo mhlaba kunye nosapho lwakho, ungawuyeka umhlaba wakho uhambe.

Njengesibini, umzabalazo wethu wasisondeza kuphela. Isenze ukuba sibe ngabazali abomeleleyo kuba nokuba kukho iintsuku ezinomntwana onzima, asikhe sithathe nanye. Kananjalo, xa sasihamba sisihogo sokungachumi, sachitha iminyaka emithathu sihamba ukubona umhlaba, ukubona abahlobo bethu, kunye nosapho lwethu. Ndiya kuhlala ndinombulelo ngeli xesha longezelelekileyo sasinalo- sisobabini kuphela.

Namhlanje lixesha elikhethekileyo lokulwa nokungachumi. Intliziyo yam ibuhlungu ngenxa yabo banonyango oluye lwacinywa ngokungenasiphelo ngenxa yecoronavirus. Kodwa kukho into endiyifumeneyo iqhubeka kuzo zonke iiakhawunti zokungachumi ze-Instagram endizilandelayo, yile: Ithemba alirhoxiswa.

Kwaye oku kuya kuye nabani na ozama umntwana ngoku. Nangona kunokubakho ukulibaziseka ekwenzeni amaphupha akho azaliseke, ungalilahli ithemba. Nanini na xa sifumana iindaba ezimbi kugqirha-ezazisoloko zikhona-inxenye yam yawa, kwaye kwakunzima ukuqhubeka, kodwa sakwenza oko, kuba asizange siphelelwe lithemba. Ukuba oko kuvakala kulula ukutsho kunokuba kwenziwe ngoku, siyaqonda. Siyathemba ukuba uMzali wezeMpilo angayi lali yakho ngoku kwaye akukhumbuze ukuba ithemba alicinywanga.

UJamie Webber
UMlawuli woHlelo, uMzali