Eyona nto wayeyifundiswe nguTata yayikukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe

Umxholo

• Ngaphezulu komboneleli
• Uhlobo lwe-2 lweswekile luyabetha
• Iiveki zokugqibela
• "Ngutata wam"

Utata wayenobuntu obukhulu. Wayenomdla kwaye edlamkile, wayethetha ngezandla zakhe, kwaye ehleka nomzimba wakhe uphela. Wayengakwazi nokuhlala phantsi. Wayengulaa mfo wangena egumbini kwaye wonke umntu wayesazi ukuba ulapho. Wayenobubele kwaye enenkathalo, kodwa ngokufuthi wayengahlolwa. Wayedla ngokuthetha naye wonke umntu kunye nawo wonke umntu, kwaye abashiye bencuma… okanye bethe nqa.

Njengomntwana, wayegcwalisa ikhaya lethu ngokuhleka ngamaxesha amnandi nawamabi. Wayethetha ngamazwi a-goofy kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa nakwiikhwele zeemoto. Uye washiya imiyalezo engaqhelekanga kunye ne-hilarious kwi-voicemail yomsebenzi xa ndifumana umsebenzi wam wokuqala wokuhlela. Akwaba bendinokubamamela ngoku.

Wayengumyeni othembekileyo nozinikeleyo kumama. Wayengutata onothando ngendlela emangalisayo kumntakwethu, nodadewethu, nakum. Uthando lwakhe ngezemidlalo luye lwasichukumisa sonke, kwaye lwanceda wasidibanisa ngendlela enzulu. Singathetha ngemidlalo iiyure-amanqaku, isicwangciso, abaqeqeshi, ii-Refs nayo yonke into ephakathi. Oku kukhokelele kwincoko malunga nesikolo, umculo, ezopolitiko, inkolo, imali, kunye namakhwenkwe. Siphikisane nomnye ngeembono zethu ezahlukeneyo. Ezi ncoko zihlala ziphela umntu ekhwaza. Ebekwazi ukutyhala amaqhosha am, kwaye ndikhawuleze ndafunda ukutyhala awakhe.

Ngaphezulu komboneleli

Utata wam wayengenaso isidanga sasekholejini. Wayengumthengisi (ethengisa iinkqubo zebhodi yezikhonkwane zobalo, ezingasasebenziyo ngoku) owayenikezela ngobomi obukumgangatho ophakathi kusapho lwam ngokupheleleyo kwikhomishini. Oku kusandothusa nanamhlanje.

Umsebenzi wakhe wawumvumela ubunewunewu beshedyuli eguqukayo, oko kwakuthetha ukuba angaba khona emva kwesikolo kwaye enze kuyo yonke imisebenzi yethu. Imoto yethu ekhwela kwi-softball kunye nemidlalo ye-basketball ngoku ziinkumbulo ezixabisekileyo: mna notata wam kuphela, singene kwincoko okanye sicula kunye nomculo wakhe. Ndiqinisekile ukuba mna nodadewethu kuphela kwamantombazana akwishumi elivisayo kwiminyaka ye-90s awayeyazi yonke ingoma yeRolling Stones kwiteyiphu yabo enkulu. "Awunakuhlala ufumana le nto uyifunayo" iseza kum qho xa ndiyiva.

Eyona nto intle andifundise yona nomama wam kukuba ubuxabise ubomi kwaye ube nombulelo ngabantu abakubo. Imvo yabo yombulelo-ngokuphila, kunye nothando-yayibhalwe kuthi kwangoko. Utata ngamanye amaxesha wayethetha ngokuloba imfazwe yaseVietnam xa wayeneminyaka eyi-20, kwaye kwafuneka ayishiye intombi yakhe (umama wam) ngasemva. Zange acinge ukuba angayenza iphile ekhaya. Waziva enethamsanqa ukubekwa eJapan esebenza njengengcali yezonyango, nangona umsebenzi wakhe ubandakanya ukuthatha imbali yezonyango kumajoni enzakeleyo kunye nokuchonga abo babulewe emfazweni.

Andizange ndiqonde ukuba oku kumchaphazele kangakanani de kwaba ziiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo zobomi bakhe.

Abazali bam baqhubeka batshata kwakamsinya nje emva kokuba utata egqibile ukusebenza emkhosini. Malunga neminyaka eli-10 betshatile, baphinda bakhunjuzwa ngendlela elalixabiseke ngayo ixesha labo kunye xa umama wam kwafunyaniswa ukuba wayenomhlaza webele wenqanaba 3 eneminyaka engama-35 ubudala. Nabantwana abathathu abangaphantsi kweminyaka esithoba ubudala, oku kwabashukumisa. Emva kokuphindwe kabini kwi-mastectomy kunye nokufumana unyango, umama wam waphila eminye iminyaka engama-26.

Uhlobo lwe-2 lweswekile luyabetha

Kwiminyaka kamva, xa umama wayeneminyaka engama-61, umhlaza wahlaselwa, waza wasweleka. Oku kwaphula intliziyo katata. Wayecinga ukuba uza kufa phambi kwakhe kuhlobo lwesibini lweswekile, awayeyikhulisile phakathi kweminyaka engamashumi amane.

Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-23 kulandela ukuxilongwa kwesifo seswekile, utata wam wayilawula imeko ngamayeza kunye ne-insulin, kodwa wayekuphepha kakhulu ukutshintsha indlela atya ngayo. Kwakhona waba noxinzelelo lwegazi, oludla ngokubangelwa sisifo seswekile esingalawulekiyo. Isifo seswekile sithatha kancinci emzimbeni wakhe, sikhokelela kwisifo seswekile (esibangela ukonakala kwemithambo-luvo) kunye neswekile yesifo seswekile (esibangela ukulahleka kombono). Iminyaka eli-10 kwesi sifo, izintso zakhe zaqala ukusilela.

Kunyaka emva kokuphulukana nomama, waphinde wadlula kane, kwaye wasinda eminye iminyaka emithathu. Ngelo xesha, wachitha iiyure ezine ngosuku efumana i-dialysis, unyango oluyimfuneko ukuze uphile xa izintso zakho zingasasebenzi.

Iminyaka embalwa yokugqibela yobomi bukatata wam kwakunzima ukungqina. Eyona nto ibuhlungu yayikukujonga enye ye-pizzazz kunye namandla akhe. Ndiye ndazama ukuzama ukuhamba naye ngesantya ehamba ngeendawo zokupaka ndimtyhala ngesitulo esinamavili nakuphi na ukuphuma okufuna amanyathelo angaphezulu.

Kangangexesha elide, bendizibuza ukuba ingaba konke esikwaziyo namhlanje malunga nokuhlaziywa kwesifo seswekile kwaziwa xa efunyaniswe kwiminyaka ye-80s, ngewayengazinyamekela ngcono? Ngaba wayeza kuphila ixesha elide? Mhlawumbi akunjalo. Mna nabantakwethu sazama ngamandla ukwenza utata atshintshe indlela atya ngayo aze enze imithambo engakumbi, kodwa watsho phantsi. Ekujongeni emva, yayiyinto elahlekileyo. Wayephile ubomi bakhe bonke-kwaye iminyaka emininzi enesifo seswekile-ngaphandle kokwenza utshintsho, kutheni ke eza kuthi ngesiquphe aqale?

Iiveki zokugqibela

Iiveki ezimbalwa zokugqibela zobomi bakhe ziyenze yacaca le nyaniso ngaye. Isifo seswekile, i-neuropathy ezinyaweni zakhe sasibangele umonakalo omkhulu kangangokuba inyawo lasekhohlo lalifuna ukunqunyulwa. Ndikhumbula ukuba wandijonga wathi, “Hayi, Cath. Ungabavumeli ukuba bayenze. Ithuba leepesenti ezili-12 lokuphola liqela le-B.S. ”

Kodwa ukuba siyala ukwenziwa utyando, ngewayebuhlungu ngakumbi kwiintsuku zakhe zobomi. Asikwazanga ukuyivumela loo nto. Okwangoku ndisaxakanisiwe yinto yokuba waphulukana nonyawo kuphela ukuze aphile iiveki ezimbalwa.

Phambi kokuba enze utyando, wajika wajonga kum wathi, “Ukuba andizukukhupha apha, sukuyibila mntwana. Uyazi, yinxalenye yobomi. Ubomi buyaqhubeka."

Ndifuna ukukhwaza, "Liqela le-B.S."

Emva kokunqunyulwa, utata wachitha iveki esibhedlele echacha, kodwa akazange aphucule ngokwaneleyo ukuba angathunyelwa ekhaya. Wafuduselwa kwindawo yokhathalelo. Ngemihla yakhe kwakunzima. Wagqiba ukukhulisa inxeba elibi emqolo elasulelwa yi-MRSA. Kwaye nangona imeko yakhe yayisiba maxongo, uqhubeke nokufumana idialysis kangangeentsuku ezininzi.

Ngeli xesha, wayehlala ekhulisa "amakhwenkwe ahluphekayo aphulukana nemilenze yawo kwaye ahlala 'nam." Wayethetha nangendlela awayenethamsanqa ngayo ngokudibana nomama wam kunye nendlela "awayengakwazi ukulinda ukumbona kwakhona." Ngamaxesha athile, okona kulungileyo kuye bekuya kuthi gqi, kwaye andenze ndihleke phantsi ngokungathi konke kulungile.

"Ngutata wam"

Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokusweleka kukatata, oogqirha bakhe bacebisa ngelithi ukumisa idialysis yinto “enobuntu.” Nangona ukwenza njalo kuya kuthetha ukuphela kobomi bakhe, savuma. Naye utata wam. Ukwazi ukuba wayesondele ekufeni, mna nabantakwethu kwaye sazama nzima ukuthetha izinto ezilungileyo kwaye ndaqinisekisa ukuba abasebenzi bezonyango benza konke okusemandleni ukumgcina ekhululekile.

“Ngaba singaphinda simse ebhedini? Ungamzisela amanzi amaninzi? Ngaba singamnika amanye amayeza eentlungu? ” besicela ukubuza. Ndikhumbula umncedisi womongikazi endimisa epasejini ngaphandle kwegumbi likatata wam esithi, "Ndiyakuxelela umthanda kakhulu."

"Ewe. Ngutata wam. "

Kodwa impendulo yakhe ihleli nam ukusukela. “Ndiyazi ukuba ngutata wakho. Kodwa ndinokumxelela ukuba ngumntu okhetheke kakhulu kuwe. ” Ndaqala ndangxola.

Ngokwenene bendingazi ukuba ndizakuqhubeka njani ngaphandle kotata. Ngandlela thile, ukusweleka kwakhe kubuyise iintlungu zokuphulukana nomama, kwaye wandinyanzela ukuba ndijongane nokuqonda ukuba bobabini bemkile, nokuba akukho namnye kubo owenze ngaphaya kwama-60s abo. Akukho namnye kubo oya kuba nakho ukundikhokela kubuzali. Akukho namnye kubo owakha wabazi ngokwenene abantwana bam.

Kodwa utata wam, eyinyani kwindalo yakhe, wazisa umbono.

Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba asweleke, ndandisoloko ndimbuza ukuba akukho nto ayifunayo kusini na nokuba uyaphila. Undiphazamisile, wathi, "Mamela. Wena, udade wenu nomkhuluwa wenu niya kuphila, akunjalo? ”

Uwuphindile lo mbuzo amaxesha ambalwa ejongeka njengokuzilahla ebusweni. Ngalo mzuzu, ndaqonda ukuba ukungonwabi nokujamelana nokufa yayingezongxaki zakhe. Eyona nto yayimoyikisa yayikukushiya ngasemva abantwana bakhe - nangona sasingabantu abadala - bengenabazali babajongileyo.

Ngokukhawuleza, ndaqonda ukuba eyona nto wayeyidinga yayingeyiyo eyokuba ndiqiniseke ukuba ukhululekile, kodwa yayikukuba ndimqinisekise ukuba siza kuphila ngokwesiqhelo emva kokuba emkile. Ukuba asiyi kuvumela ukufa kwakhe ukuba kusinqande ekubeni siphile ubomi bethu ngokuzeleyo. Oko, ngaphandle kwemiceli mngeni yobomi, nokuba yimfazwe okanye isifo okanye ilahleko, siya kulandela ukhokelo lwakhe kunye nomama kwaye siqhubeke nokukhathalela abantwana bethu ngeyona nto siyaziyo. Ukuba singavuyela ubomi nothando. Ukuba singafumana uburharha kuzo zonke iimeko, nditsho nezona zimnyama. Ukuba siza kulwa nayo yonke i-B.S. kunye.

Kulapho ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndilahle "Uyaphila?" ukuthetha, kwaye waqweba isibindi wathi, "Ewe, Tata. Sizakulunga sonke. ”

Njengokuba inkangeleko yoxolo ithathe indawo ebusweni bakhe, ndaqhubeka, “Usifundisile ukuba. Kulungile ukuyiyeka ngoku. "

UCathy Cassata ngumbhali ozimeleyo obhala ngempilo, impilo yengqondo, kunye nokuziphatha komntu kwiintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokupapashwa kunye neewebhusayithi. Ungumnikeli rhoqo kwiMpilo, iMihla ngemihla yezeMpilo, kunye neThe Fix. Jonga iphothifoliyo yakhe yamabali kwaye umlandele kwi-Twitter @Cassatastyle.