Amanyathelo amahlanu okuhlangabezana ngcono nosizi

Umxholo

• Amanqanaba aphambili okulila
• 1. Ukuphika nokuzikhetha
• 2. Umsindo
• 3. Iingxoxo
• 4. Uxinzelelo
• 5. Ukwamkelwa
• Ungoyisa njani inkqubo yokulila
• Indlela yokujongana nosizi ebantwaneni
• Uya nini kugqirha wengqondo okanye ugqirha wengqondo

Intlungu yimpendulo eqhelekileyo yeemvakalelo zokubandezeleka, ezenzeka emva kokuphulukana nokunxibelelana okunamandla, nokuba kungomntu, isilwanyana, into okanye into elungileyo, efana nengqesho, umzekelo.

Le mpendulo kwilahleko yahluka kakhulu ukusuka kumntu ukuya emntwini, ke akukho xesha elithile lokumisela ukuba umntu ngamnye uzolila ixesha elingakanani. Okwangoku, uMbutho wezifo zengqondo waseMelika uchaze ezinye iiparameter ukunceda ukufumanisa usizi lwe-pathological, olungenampilo kwaye kufuneka lunyangwe.

Indlela umntu abuhlungu ngayo ixhomekeke kwizinto ezininzi, ezinje ngobudlelwane awayenabo nomntu ongasekhoyo, uhlobo losapho okanye inkxaso yentlalo kunye nobuntu bomntu ngamnye.

Amanqanaba aphambili okulila

Inkqubo yokulila yahluke kakhulu kumntu omnye uye komnye, ngoko ke kukho iindlela ezininzi zokubonisa iimvakalelo ezinokubangelwa kukufa kunye nelahleko. Nangona kunjalo, kuqhelekile ukuba inkqubo yokulila yahlulwe ngezigaba ezi-5:

1. Ukuphika nokuzikhetha

Emva kokufumana iindaba zokuba kukho into okanye umntu obenonxibelelwano oluqinileyo naye olahlekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba, ekuqaleni, umntu akakholelwa kwiindaba, ukubanakho ukubona indlela yokwala ukwala.

Le mpendulo inokuhamba kunye nokurhoxa kwabanye abantu, okuhlala kunceda ukunciphisa iintlungu kunye nezinye iziphumo ezibi eziziswa lolu hlobo lweendaba.

2. Umsindo

Kwisigaba sesibini, emva kokuba umntu ewukhanyele umcimbi, iimvakalelo zomsindo zihlala zivela, ezinokuhamba nezinye iimpawu ezinje ngokukhala rhoqo kunye nokucaphuka ngokulula, nditsho nabahlobo kunye nosapho. Kusenokubakho ukungazoli kunye noxinzelelo.

3. Iingxoxo

Emva kokuziva unomsindo kunye nokucaphuka, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umntu aqhubeke nokuba nobunzima ekwamkeleni inyani kwaye, ke, unokuzama ukufikelela kwisivumelwano sokuphuma kule meko bajamelana nayo. Okwangoku, umntu angade azame ukwenza isivumelwano noThixo, ukuze yonke into ibuyele kwindlela eyayingayo ngaphambili.

Olu hlobo lweengxoxo luyahluka ukusuka komnye umntu ukuya komnye kwaye luhlala lusenziwa ngokungazi, ngaphandle kokuba ulandelwa ugqirha wezengqondo okanye ugqirha wengqondo.

4. Uxinzelelo

Ngeli xesha lesigaba umntu ungena kwinkqubo yokuziqhelanisa nemeko kwaye, ke, kunokubakho iimvakalelo zokuba buthathaka, ukungazithembi, ukwenzakala kunye ne-nostalgia.

Kule nqanaba apho umntu eqala ukuba nengqondo enkulu yenyani kwaye oko kwenzekileyo akunakusombululwa. Kukweli nqanaba ukuba ukulandela ugqirha wezengqondo kuyacetyiswa ukunceda ukuziqhelanisa nenyani entsha, ukuze ungene kwinqanaba lokugqibela lokulila.

5. Ukwamkelwa

Eli linqanaba lokugqibela lenkqubo yosizi, apho umntu aqala khona ukubuyisa imikhwa ebekade enayo ngaphambi kwesiganeko esidale ilahleko, ephinda aqala indlela yakhe yesiqhelo yemihla ngemihla. Kuqala kweli nqanaba ukuba umntu afumaneke ngakumbi kubudlelwane boluntu kunye nabahlobo kunye nosapho.

Ungoyisa njani inkqubo yokulila

Ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo sisiganeko esenzeka kubomi phantse bawo wonke umntu kwaye sikhatshwa ziimvakalelo ezininzi kunye neemvakalelo. Ezinye izicwangciso ezinokunceda ngexesha lenkqubo zezi:

1. Thatha ixesha elifanelekileyo: Bonke abantu bahlukile kwaye banamava kumcimbi omnye ngendlela ethile. Ngale ndlela, akukho xesha lichaza ukuba umntu uziva nini ulungile. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba umntu ngamnye ayiphile le nkqubo ngesantya sakhe, ngaphandle kokuziva enyanzelekile;
2. Funda ukwamkela iintlungu kunye nelahlekoumntu kufuneka akuphephe ukufuna ezinye iindlela zokuthatha ixesha kunye nengqondo, kuba ukunqanda ukucinga ngale meko, ukusebenzisa umsebenzi okanye ukwenza umthambo, umzekelo, kunokuphelisa ukulibaziseka kwenkqubo yokulila kunye nokwandisa ukubandezeleka;
3. Chaza indlela oziva ngayoAkucetyiswa ukuba kuthintelwe iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ngexesha lenkqubo yokulila kwaye ke, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ubonise indlela oziva ngayo. Akufuneki kubekho ntloni okanye ukoyika ukulila, ukungxolisa okanye ukuthetha nabanye abantu abasondeleyo kuwe okanye ugqirha wengqondo okanye ugqirha wengqondo, umzekelo;
4. Joyina iqela lenkxaso: Olu lukhetho olulungileyo kwabo bangafuniyo ukwenza iiseshoni ezizodwa kunye nengcali. Kula maqela, abantu abaliqela abakwimeko ezifanayo bathetha ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo kwaye namava abo anokunceda abanye;
5. Zijikeleze nabantu obathandayoUkuchitha ixesha nabantu obakhathaleleyo nabanamabali afanayo ekwabelaneni ngawo, kuququzelela inkqubo yokulila, ngakumbi ukuba inxulumene nomntu, isilwanyana okanye into elahlekileyo.

Ukongeza kwezi zicwangciso, kuhlala kuyinto elungileyo ukudibana nengcali, enje ngengcali yezengqondo okanye ugqirha wezifo zengqondo, oya kuthi abe nakho ukuvavanya imeko kwaye acebise ezinye iindlela zokukunceda woyise inkqubo yokulila.

Indlela yokujongana nosizi ebantwaneni

Ukucacisela umntwana ukuba umntu okhethekileyo udlulile ayisiyonto ilula, nangona kunjalo, kukho iindlela ezithile ezinokunceda ukwenza inkqubo ibe lula kwaye ingabi nabuhlungu, enje:

• Chaza inyani: ukufihla ezinye iinyani kunokwenza amava abuhlungu abe buhlungu kwaye adideke, kuba umntwana usenokungayifumani intsingiselo yento eyenzekayo;
• Ukuchaza intshukumo kunye neemvakalelo: le yindlela yokubonisa ukuba umntwana naye unokuziva uhlobo olufanayo lweemvakalelo kwaye le yinto eqhelekileyo;
• Musa ukubuza omnye umntu: Abazali yeyona nto ibalulekileyo emntwaneni kwaye, ke, kufuneka babekho ngexesha leendaba ukubonelela ngokhuseleko. Ukuba oku akunakwenzeka, iindaba kufuneka zinikwe ngomnye umntu osondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo, ofana notatomkhulu, umakhulu okanye umalume, umzekelo;
• Ukukhetha indawo ethuleyo: oku kuthintela uphazamiseko olungeyomfuneko kwaye kuvumela unxibelelwano olusondeleyo nomntwana, ukongeza ekudaleni imeko apho kulula khona ukuveza iimvakalelo;
• Sukusebenzisa iinkcukacha ezininzi: Ngokufanelekileyo, iindaba kufuneka zinikezwe ngendlela elula, ecacileyo nethembekileyo, ngaphandle kokubandakanya iinkcukacha ezintsonkothileyo okanye ezothusayo, ubuncinci kwinqanaba lokuqala.

Intlungu yomntwana yahluka kakhulu kubudala, ke ezi ndlela zinokufuna ukuba zilungiswe. Ke, ukudibana nengcali ngengqondo yomntwana kunokuba yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokunceda ukukhokela inkqubo yokulila yomntwana.

Kukwabalulekile ukwazi ukuba alikho ixesha elifanelekileyo lokwazisa iindaba emntwaneni kwaye, ke, umntu akufuneki alinde "umzuzu olungileyo", kuba oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo olukhulu kwaye kulibazise inkqubo yokulila.

Uya nini kugqirha wengqondo okanye ugqirha wengqondo

Ukufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha kwingcali yezengqondo okanye ugqirha wezifo zengqondo kunokuba yindlela elungileyo yokuqinisekisa ukuba inkqubo yokulila esempilweni inokufezekiswa. Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwabantu luyakwazi nokulawula intlungu yabo, ke ukuba awukhululekanga, akusoloko kuyimfuneko ukufuna uncedo lweengcali.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho iimeko apho ukulila kungathathwa ngokuba "akunampilo" okanye kubangela isifo, ngakumbi xa iimvakalelo zibaxekileyo kakhulu okanye zihlala ngaphezulu kweenyanga ezili-12, kwimeko yabantu abadala, okanye ngaphezulu kweenyanga ezi-6, kwimeko yabantwana. Kule meko, ukubekwa kweliso kubuchule kubalulekile.

Ezinye iimpawu ezinokuthi zibonise inkqubo yokulila "engenampilo", ukuba iyaqhubeka iinyanga ezininzi, zezi:

• Umnqweno oqhubekayo wokuba kunye nomntu olahlekileyo;
• Unobunzima ekukholelweni ekufeni kothandekayo;
• Ukuziva unetyala;
• Ukunqwenela ukufa ukuze ube kunye naloo mntu;
• Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba kwabanye;
• Andisenawo umnqweno wokuphila;
• Ukuba nobunzima ekugcineni ubuhlobo okanye imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla;
• Ukungakwazi ukuceba kwangaphambili;
• Ukuziva ukubandezeleka okungafaniyo nento ethathwa "njengesiqhelo".

Olu hlobo losizi lunokwenzeka kuye nawuphi na umntu okanye ubudala, nangona kunjalo, luxhaphake kakhulu kwabasetyhini.