INGCACISO EMFUTSHANE: Ndingoyisa njani ngemiba yeTrust kubudlelwane obudlulileyo?

Umxholo

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Ukulumka ngakumbi emva kokuba utshisiwe kubudlelwane akukho ngaphandle kwesiqhelo, kodwa ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lokugqibela lukuphose ngenxa yento enjalo oziva ngathi unezikrelemnqa ngokusisigxina-awusoze uphinde uthembe-ke lixesha labanye ukuzicingela kunye neengcebiso.

Thatha ixesha lokuphilisa, ingxelo ebhalwe ngononophelo, kwaye uqonde ubudlelwane bakho bokugqibela ukuze ungaphathi mithwalo uye kulandelayo.

1. Yenza ukusika kucoceke. Imithombo yeendaba yakutshanje kwezentlalo yenza ukubuyisa kwahluke ngokupheleleyo kulo naliphi na elinye ixesha kwimbali yothando. Imiba yakho yokuthembana inokubangelwa kukuba unxibelelwano oluhlala luhleli, nkqu neperipheral, yenza ukuba isisombululo esipheleleyo sibonakale singenakwenzeka. Ngelixa kusenokuthetha ukuba uya kuphoswa ziividiyo zekati ezilungileyo zonyaka, vala okanye unciphise uFacebook de ube uqhubele phambili.

2. Qonda ukuthenjwa. Ngamanye amaxesha siwela kubantu ngokusekwe kwiimpawu zokungakhathali: Isifundo esenziwe kwiYunivesithi yaseCharles ePrague kufunyenwe abafana abanamehlo ansundu banika umbono wokuthembeka. Okuhlekisayo ngokwaneleyo, iYunivesithi yase-St Andrews ka-2010 eSkotlani yafumanisa ukuba abaphenduli babenotyekelo olubalulekileyo lokuthembela ngobuso obumxinwa obungamadoda. Musa ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ukuba umntu ukunika isizathu sokuthembela-uyayilandela, wenza into athi uyayenza, kwaye uyakuxhasa-mthathe ngelizwi lakhe endaweni yokucinga kubuhlungu obudlulileyo.

3. Sukuyenza impazamo efanayo kabini. Ngokufuthi abafazi baya kukhetha uhlobo olufanayo lwendoda ngeenzame zokuthi "mbuna" okanye "ukuyitshintsha" (kwipsychology oku kubizwa ngokuba "kukunyanzeliswa ukuphindaphinda"). Oku kunokuphelela ekubeni ngumsebenzi osisigxina ngaphandle kwezibonelelo. Ukuba indoda enembali yokukopela yaphula ukuthembela kwakho, kwaye uqala ukuthandana nomnye umfana owaziwa ngeliso lakhe elijikelezayo ... uyazi apho iya khona.

4. Wazi umjikelo wakho. Ngelixa ungathanda ukucinga ukuba unenkululeko yokuzikhethela, umjikelo wakho wokuya exesheni kunye namahomoni afana ne testosterone kwinkqubo yakho inokuba yinto enkulu kwinkqubo yakho yokwenza izigqibo kubudlelwane. Into enomdla ukuba uyiqaphele kukuba i-oxytocin, eyake yacingelwa njengengubo "yokubopha intlalontle" yehomoni, inzima kakhulu. Ngokumalunga nengxaki yokuthembela okushiyekileyo, i-oxytocin inokuba ngunobangela: Iqinisa iinkumbulo, ezilungileyo nezimbi. Nokuba kulula kangakanani ukulwa nomntu omtsha ukuzisa iingcinga ezingalunganga malunga nobudlelwane obuvela kudala (okanye ngamaxesha amnandi okuziva uqhelekile), hlala ukhona. Ukuvumela iingcinga-ezilungileyo kunye ezimbi-zingene kuthando olutsha kunokujija izenzo zakho kunye neenkolelo zakho.

5. Gcina ulindile umjikelo wesibini. Ukuba uzama kwakhona naloo mfana, uyakukufumanisa kunomdla ukuba uphando olutsha oluvela kwiKholeji yeYunivesithi yaseRedeemer eOntario lufumanise ukuba ukuthembana kunokuphazamisa iinkumbulo zakho, kusenze sizijonge iimpazamo zexesha elidlulileyo zomlingane wethu njengezinto ezimbi kunokuba bezinjalo ekuqaleni ukuba uyakwazi "ukumthemba kwakhona". Kodwa kwabo bathembela kancinci kwiqabane labo, iinkumbulo zokushiywa ngumthandi zikhula ngokuhamba kwexesha.

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