Ukuphazamiseka Othandweni

Umxholo

• Zithini iimpawu zengxaki yokuthanda abantu ngokugqithiseleyo?
• Yintoni ebangela ukuba umntu abe nothando olugqithisileyo lothando?
• Ukuphazamiseka kokuncamathisela
• Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obunemida
• Umona okrelekrele
• I-Erotomania
• Ukuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo (OCD)
• Umona oqwalaselwayo
• Ufumanisa njani ukuba uphazamisekile uthando?
• Iphathwa njani ingxaki yothando?
• Yintoni imbonakalo yomntu onengxaki yokuthanda uthando?

Yintoni ukuphazamiseka kothando?

"Uthando lokujonga kakhulu" (OLD) lubhekisa kwimeko apho uthi phithi ngumntu omnye ocinga ukuba ungathandana naye. Unokuziva unesidingo sokukhusela umntu omthandayo ngokungathandabuzekiyo, okanye ukubalawula ngokungathi banako.

Ngelixa kungekho lucalucalulo lwezonyango okanye lwengqondo olukhoyo kwi-OLD, inokuhlala ihamba nezinye iintlobo zezifo zengqondo. Thetha nogqirha wakho ukuba ucinga ukuba wena okanye umntu omthandayo unokuba nengxaki. Unyango lunokunceda ukunciphisa iimpawu ngelixa kuthintela iingxaki kubudlelwane.

Zithini iimpawu zengxaki yokuthanda abantu ngokugqithiseleyo?

Iimpawu ze-OLD zingabandakanya:

• umtsalane omkhulu kumntu omnye
• iingcinga ezingafunekiyo ngomntu
• uziva isidingo "sokukhusela" umntu othandana naye
• iingcinga kunye nezenzo
• umona ogqithileyo kolunye unxibelelwano phakathi kwabantu
• ukuzijongela phantsi

Abantu abane-OLD abanakho ukungakuthathi lula ukwaliwa. Ngamanye amaxesha, iimpawu zinokuba mandundu ekupheleni kobudlelwane okanye ukuba omnye umntu uyakugatya. Kukho eminye imiqondiso yesi sifo, efana nale:

• imibhalo ephindaphindwayo, ii-imeyile, kunye neminxeba kumntu abanomdla kuye
• imfuno engapheliyo yokuqinisekiswa
• kunzima ukuba nobuhlobo okanye ukugcina unxibelelwano namalungu osapho ngenxa yokuthanda umntu omnye
• ukubeka iliso kwizenzo zomnye umntu
• ukulawula apho aya khona omnye umntu kunye nezinto abazenzayo

Yintoni ebangela ukuba umntu abe nothando olugqithisileyo lothando?

Akukho namnye unobangela omnye we-OLD. Endaweni yoko, inokudibaniswa nezinye iintlobo zokukhubazeka kwezempilo yengqondo ezinje:

Ukuphazamiseka kokuncamathisela

Eli qela lokuphazamiseka libhekisa kubantu abanemicimbi yokuncamathela ngokweemvakalelo, ezinje ngokuswela uvelwano okanye ukutyekela komnye umntu.

Iindidi zokuphazamiseka kweziqhotyoshelweyo zibandakanya ukungathintelwa kokuzibandakanya ekuhlaleni (i-DSED) kunye nokuphazamiseka kokunamathisela okusebenzayo (i-RAD), kwaye zozibini zikhula ngexesha lobuntwana ukusuka kumava amabi kunye nabazali okanye abanye abantu abanonophela abantu abadala.

Kwi-DSED, unokuba nobubele kakhulu kwaye ungathathi amanyathelo okhuseleko kubantu ongabaziyo. Nge-RAD, unokuziva uxinzelelo kwaye uneengxaki zokuhlangana nabanye.

Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obunemida

Esi sigulo sezempilo yengqondo sibonakala kukuphazamiseka komfanekiso wakho kunye nokutshintsha kwemozulu. Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obunemida kunokubangela ukuba ube nomsindo kakhulu ukonwaba kakhulu ngaphakathi kwemizuzu okanye iiyure.

Iziqendu ezixhalabisayo kunye noxinzelelo nazo ziyenzeka. Xa ucinga ngothando olugqithisileyo, ukuphazamiseka kubuntu kunokubangela utshintsho phakathi kothando olugqithisileyo emntwini.

Umona okrelekrele

Ngokusekwe kukukhohlisa (iziganeko okanye iinyani okholelwa ukuba ziyinyani), esi sifo sibonakaliswa kukunyanzelisa izinto esele zingqinisisiwe ukuba zibubuxoki. Xa kuziwa kuthando olugqithisileyo, umona osileyo unokubangela ukuba ukholelwe ukuba omnye umntu ubuyisele iimvakalelo zakhe kuwe, nokuba sele beyicacisile ukuba le ayiyonyani.

Ngokuka, ikhwele elikhohlisayo linokunxulunyaniswa nokunxila emadodeni.

I-Erotomania

Esi sifo kukudibana phakathi kokukhohlisa kunye nothando olugqithisileyo lothando. Nge-erotomania, uyakholelwa ukuba umntu odumileyo okanye okwinqanaba eliphezulu ekuhlaleni uyathandana nawe. Oku kunokukhokelela ekuhlukumezweni komnye umntu, njengokufika ekhayeni labo okanye emsebenzini.

Ngokwe-Psychiatry ebanzi, abantu abane-erotomania bahlala bodwa nabahlobo abambalwa, kwaye banokungaphangeli.

Ukuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo (OCD)

Ukuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo okunyanzelekileyo (i-OCD) kukudityaniswa kweengcinga ezingalawulekiyo kunye namasiko anyanzelekileyo. Ezi zinzima ngokwaneleyo ukuba zingaphazamisa ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla. I-OCD inokubangela ukuba ufune ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo, okunokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho.

Abanye abantu kuthiwa banolwalamano ne-OCD, apho ukutyeba nokunyanzeliswa kugxile kubudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, ayisiyiyo le subtype yamkelwe ngokusemthethweni ye-OCD.

Umona oqwalaselwayo

Ngokungafaniyo nekhwele elinobuqhetseba, umona ongalawulekiyo kukuzibandakanya ngokungathembeki kokungathembeki kweqabane. Ukuzixakekisa oku kunokubangela ukuphindaphinda nokuziphatha okunyanzelekileyo ekuphenduleni kwinkxalabo yokungathembeki. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zifana ne-OCD ngakumbi kunekhwele elikhohlisayo. Oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo olubalulekileyo okanye ukuphazamisa ukusebenza kwansuku zonke.

Ufumanisa njani ukuba uphazamisekile uthando?

OLD kufunyaniswa kuvavanyo olunzulu olusuka kugqirha wezifo zengqondo okanye kwenye ingcali yezempilo yengqondo. Okokuqala, baya kuba nodliwanondlebe nawe ngokubuza imibuzo malunga neempawu zakho, kunye nobudlelwane bakho. Bayakukubuza malunga nosapho lwakho kunye nokuba kukho naziphi na izifo ezaziwayo zempilo yengqondo ezikhoyo.

Ukuxilongwa ngonyango kugqirha wakho oyintloko kunokufuneka kwakhona ukulawula ezinye izizathu. Ukusukela ekubeni uthando olugqithisileyo lunqamleza nezinye iindlela zokukhubazeka kwezempilo yengqondo, aluchazwanga kwiAmerican Psychological Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Ngezizathu ezingaziwayo, OLD abafazi ngakumbi kunamadoda.

Iphathwa njani ingxaki yothando?

Isicwangciso esifanelekileyo sonyango kwesi sifo sixhomekeke kwisizathu esingunobangela. Nangona kunjalo, ihlala ibandakanya indibaniselwano yamayeza kunye nonyango lwengqondo.

Amayeza anokusetyenziselwa ukulungelelanisa imichiza yobuchopho. Kananjalo, oku kunokunciphisa iimpawu zokuphazamiseka. Ugqirha wakho unokucebisa enye yezi zinto zilandelayo:

• amayeza okulwa noxinzelelo, anje ngeValium kunye neXanax
• izidambisi zengqondo, ezinje ngeProzac, Paxil, okanye iZoloft
• Unyango lwengqondo
• ezizinzisayo

Kungathatha iiveki ezininzi ukuba iyeza lakho lisebenze. Kuya kufuneka uzame iintlobo ezahlukeneyo de ufumane eyona isebenza ngcono kuwe. Thetha nogqirha wakho malunga nemiphumo emibi, enje:

• utshintsho lokutya
• umlomo owomileyo
• ukudinwa
• intloko ebuhlungu
• ukuphuthelwa
• ukulahleka kwe-libido
• isicaphucaphu
• ukutyeba kwakho
• Iimpawu eziya zisiba mandundu

Unyango luyanceda kuzo zonke iintlobo ze-OLD. Ngamanye amaxesha kuyanceda kwiintsapho ukuba zibandakanyeke kwiiseshoni zonyango, ngakumbi ukuba uthando olugqithisileyo luvela kwimiba ebuntwaneni. Kuxhomekeke kubuzaza besifo kunye nezinto ozikhethayo, unokuzibandakanya kunyango lomntu ngamnye okanye lweqela. Ngamanye amaxesha ingcali yezempilo yengqondo iyakucebisa zombini ezi ntlobo.

Ukhetho lonyango lubandakanya:

• unyango lokuziphatha
• Unyango ngokuziphatha
• ukudlala unyango (lwabantwana)
• thetha ngonyango

Yintoni imbonakalo yomntu onengxaki yokuthanda uthando?

Ngelixa i-OLD ifumana ingqalelo engakumbi, kunqabile. Kuqikelelwa ukuba ngaphantsi kwabantu abanesifo.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omthandayo unempawu ezinokubakho zokuphazamiseka kothando, kufuneka ubone ugqirha. Banokukuthumela kugqirha wezifo zengqondo ukuba akuncede ubone ukuba unayo i-OLD ngokwenene. Unokuba nesinye isifo sempilo yengqondo.

Xa kufunyaniswa kwaye kunyangwa, i-OLD inokuba neziphumo ezilungileyo. Isitshixo, nangona kunjalo, kukungayeki unyango okanye unyango ukuba ucinga ukuba uziva ubhetele. Ukuyekisa unyango lwakho ngequbuliso kunokuzenza mandundu iimpawu, okanye zibenze babuye.