Iingcebiso ze-6 zokuThetha naBantwana baKho malunga ne-Porn ngeNdlela elungileyo yeSondo

Umxholo

• 1.Yila isiseko apho wena nomntwana wakho nithetha ngale nto
• 2. Yazisa nge-porn ngaphambili kunokuba ucinga ukuba ufuna njalo
• 3. Gcina ithoni yakho ibalulekile kodwa ingaqhelekanga
• 4. Bayeke babuze imibuzo
• Gxininisa umxholo kunye nemvume
• 6. Yabelanani ngezixhobo ezongezelelweyo
• Izixhobo zokuncedisa ootitshala ngesondo bacebisa abantwana
  
• Ezi ngcebiso zinokunceda ukwenza incoko ibe yeyakhayo kuni nobabini

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Ngenxa yokuba abazali banika abantwana babo ukufikelela kubuchwephesha nakwiwebhu kwiminyaka engaphambili (Olunye uphando lufumanise ukuba ngokomndilili, abantwana bafumana i-smartphone yabo yokuqala kwiminyaka eyi-10), abantwana abafumanayo kunye nokubona iphonografi kwi-Intanethi besebancinci akunakuphepheka, uthi Umenzi-bhanyabhanya ongumenzi omkhulu we-indie u-Erika Lust, umnini kunye nomsunguli wee-Erika Lust Films kunye ne-XConfessions.com

"Ngenxa yendalo ye-intanethi, nokuba umntwana ufuna nje imizekeliso okanye ulwazi lwenzululwazi malunga nemizimba, imisebenzi yomzimba, okanye indlela ezenziwa ngayo iintsana, iphonografi yeyona nto iphambili okanye iphambili," utshilo.

Ukuza kuthi ga kwinqanaba lakhe, uShadeen Francis, uLMFT, umtshato kunye nonyango losapho obhala ikharityhulam yezemfundo yesondo kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi nakwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, uthi nge-11 leminyaka yobudala uninzi lwabantwana sele beveziwe kuhlobo oluthile lomxholo wesondo kwi-intanethi.

Ngelishwa, imfundo yezesondo kunye ne-porn ayifani. "Iphonografi ingasetyenziswa njengesixhobo sokufundisa ngesondo, kodwa yenzelwe ukonwabisa abantu abadala, hayi ukufundisa," utshilo uFrancis. Kwimeko yokungabikho kwemfundo yesondo esesikweni okanye iincoko eziqhubekayo ekhaya malunga nezesondo, abantwana banokudibanisa iphonografi kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kunye nokwenza imiyalezo engachazwanga kwi-porn.

Kungenxa yoko le nto uFrancis egxininisa ukubaluleka kwabazali nabagcini babantwana abathetha nabantwana babo ngesondo nangamanyala.

Uthi: "Okukhona umzali enokukhulisa ukufunda kwabantwana bakhe, kokukhona beya kukwazi ukubethelela imilinganiselo esempilweni kunye noncedo lokulwa ulwazi oluhlala luchanekile, olungenaxanduva, okanye olungelulo abanokulufunda emhlabeni, utshilo.

Okwangoku, njengomzali kunokuba nzima ukuba uthethe ngesondo kunye nomntwana wakho. Ngale nto engqondweni, sidibanisa esi sikhokelo sabazali sokuthetha nabantwana malunga ne-porn.

Landela ezi ngcebiso ukugcina incoko isabelana ngesondo kwaye ikhululekile kangangoko-kuni nobabini.

1.Yila isiseko apho wena nomntwana wakho nithetha ngale nto

Kuyavunywa, ukuthetha nomntwana wakho malunga ne-porn unako yibambe ngamandla.

Kodwa, ukuba wena nomntwana wakho nihlala nincokola malunga nokwabelana ngesondo, imvume, ukwamkelwa komzimba, ukhuseleko ngokwesondo, ukonwaba, ukukhulelwa, kunye nempilo yonke nokuba sempilweni, iziteki zayo nayiphi na incoko nganye iphantsi kakhulu, utshilo uFrancis.

Ukongeza ekunciphiseni ubungqingqwa obunokwakha malunga nokuba "nentetho engamanyala," utsho rhoqo ukuba nezi ncoko kubalulekile ekunikezeleni umntwana wakho isiseko solwazi malunga nempilo yezesondo- isenzo esibaluleke kakhulu, unikwe imfundo yesondo ezikolweni. sihlala sibonelela ngayo.

Kwaye oku kuya kunceda ukukhuthaza imvakalelo yokuvuleleka, ke xa bekhubeka okanye bebona iphonografi, baya kuba nakho ukuza kuwe ukuba banemibuzo.

2. Yazisa nge-porn ngaphambili kunokuba ucinga ukuba ufuna njalo

Kule ngongoma ingentla, iingcali ziyavuma elona xesha lilungileyo lokuthetha nabantwana bakho malunga ne-porn ngaphambili bayayibona.Ngale ndlela, unokubeka umxholo kuyo nayiphi na imifanekiso abanokuthi bayibone kwaye bancede ukunciphisa nayiphi na i-alamu, intiyo, okanye ukudideka abanokuziva xa bebona iphonografi ngaphandle kokuba bazi ngaphambili ukuba izinto zikhona kwasekuqaleni, utshilo uFrancis.

Inkanuko igxininisa ukuba iingxoxo malunga ne-porn kufuneka zenzeke kwakude ngaphambi kokufikisa.

"Abazali bahlala becinga ukuba i-13 okanye i-14 yeyona minyaka ilungileyo ukuyivelisa, kodwa intshayelelo yesihloko kufanele ukuba ibe yiminyaka emine okanye emihlanu ngaphambili-okanye ngenene nanini na xa umzali enika umntwana ilungelo lokujonga kwi-intanethi," utshilo utsho.

Xa uthetha nabantwana bakho, khumbula ukuba awubaxeleli nje into ekuthiwa yeyamanyala ekhoyo. Uyacacisa ukuba yintoni kwaye ayisiyiyo, kwaye uyicwangcise ngaphakathi kwincoko enkulu malunga nemvume, ulonwabo kunye namandla, utshilo uFrancis.

3. Gcina ithoni yakho ibalulekile kodwa ingaqhelekanga

Ukuba ungqwabalala okanye uxhalabile, uya kuthi unxibelelane naloo mandla kumntwana wakho, oya kuthi awathulise kwaye avale ithuba lengxoxo phakathi kwakho.

UFrancis uthi: "Musa ukuhlazisa umntwana wakho ukuba ukrokrela okanye ufunde ukuba babonile iphonografi." Endaweni yokuba uqonde ukuba ukuthanda ukwazi ngesondo kuyinxalenye yendalo ngokupheleleyo kuphuhliso.

"Njengomphathiswa osebenza ikakhulu nabantu abajikeleze iinkxalabo zabo zesondo, kuyacaca ukuba imiyalezo ehlazisayo kunye nesondo inefuthe elingapheliyo kwiimvakalelo zabantu zokuzixabisa, ukufumaneka kothando, impilo yengqondo, kunye nokukhetha amaqabane, utshilo.

Ke, endaweni yokusondela kwingxoxo "njengoluleko" okanye "ngamapolisa e-intanethi," ufuna ukusondela kuwo njengotitshala kunye nomgcini.

Ngelixa incoko kufuneka iyenze icace into yokuba iifilimu zabantu abadala zezabantu abadala kunye nokwabelana ngeziqulatho ezibonisa amanyala ngokwabo okanye abanye abantwana kuthathwa njengephonografi yabantwana, uFrancis uthi, “Ukuba umane uqinisekisa ukuba akukho semthethweni okanye akuvumelekanga endlwini yakho, bantwana banokoyika, babe neentloni okanye bafune ukwazi ngakumbi. ”

Inkanuko ithi inokunceda ukuqala incoko ngokuqinisekisa ukuba isini kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye yendalo, kwaye ubaxelele ukuba wena ucinga ntoni malunga ne-porn.

Usenokuthi, "Xa ndibona imifanekiso engamanyala, ndiziva ndikhathazekile, kuba uninzi lwale mifanekiso ibonisa ukuba abafazi bohlwaywa. Kodwa isini endinaso kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba ngenye imini uya kuba namava olonwabo, hayi isohlwayo. ”

Enye indawo yokungena? Sebenzisa isikweko. "Chaza ukuba njengoSuperman udlalwa ngumdlali weqonga ongenamandla amakhulu ebomini bokwenyani, iinkwenkwezi ezingamanyala kwezi bhanyabhanya ngabalingisi abenza isondo, kodwa ayisiyiyo indlela eyenzeka ngayo into yokwabelana ngesondo ebomini bokwenyani," ucebisa uLust.

4. Bayeke babuze imibuzo

Incoko enje ilunge njengale: incoko. Kwaye ukuze into ibe yincoko, kufuneka kubekho ukubuyela umva nangaphambili.

Oko kuthetha ukuba bayakuqinisekisa ukwazi kwabo malunga nokwabelana ngesondo kuyinto eqhelekileyo, emva koko ubanike indawo yokuba bathethe ngayo kwaye babuze imibuzo.

Xa bebuza imibuzo, "Yiphathe yonke imibuzo yabo njengeyamkelekileyo, kwaye uphendule ngolwazi olwaneleyo ukuphendula ngokupheleleyo kodwa hayi kangako ukuba ungoyikisa," utshilo uFrancis. Abayidingi dissertation, kodwa bafuna oluchanekileyo, olomzimba-kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, ulwazi olujolise kulonwabo.

Ukungazi impendulo kulungile “Awudingi ukuba yingcali. Kufuneka ubonelele ngendawo ekhuselekileyo yokuncokola, ”utshilo uFrancis. Ke, ukuba ubuzwa into ongayaziyo, thetha ngokuphandle ukuba awuqinisekanga, kodwa uya kufumanisa kwaye ulandele.

Kwiphepha leflip, kuphephe ukubuza umntwana wakho imibuzo emininzi. Eli lithuba lokuba bafunde kuwe, hayi ukuba ubangxamele into abayenzayo nabangayazi, okanye abanayo nabangayibonanga.

UFrancis ukwacebisa ukunqanda ukubuza umntwana wakho ngoba bafuna ukwazi izinto. Uthi: "Olu phando lunokuhlala luvalile abantwana, kuba abanakufuna ukuveza ukuba bazive phi izinto okanye kutheni bezibuza."

Kananjalo, abanakuba nesizathu esinzulu; Banokubuza nje kuba befuna ukwazi.

Gxininisa umxholo kunye nemvume

Kangangokuba ungafuna ukukhusela abantwana bakho kwizenzo zokungabikho sikweni kunye neenkqubo zengcinezelo emhlabeni, ngokukaFrancis, eli lithuba elihle lokuqalisa ukucacisa izinto ezinje nge-misogyny, inkcaso yobuhlanga, ukuhlazisa umzimba, kunye nokukwazi, utshilo uFrancis. "Incoko yamanyala inokuba yinxalenye yencoko enkulu kwaye ibe nenjongo enkulu," utshilo.

Ke, unokusebenzisa oku okomzuzwana ukulungisa ukuba ayizizo zonke izidumbu ezijongeka njengabalingisi be-porn okanye abadlali beqonga, kwaye kulungile, utshilo uFrancis.

"Oku kunokunceda abantu abancinci ukuba bazigcine ngokuthelekisa imizimba yabo ekhulayo kwaye bashiye igumbi elininzi kulindelo lwabo lokuba bona kunye namaqabane abo exesha elizayo kwaye baya kujongeka njani, ngokubanzi, kwaye bajongeka njani ngelixa besabelana ngesondo," utshilo uFrancis.

Okanye, unokusebenzisa oku njengethuba lokuthetha nabo malunga nolonwabo, ukhuseleko, imvume, iinwele zomzimba kunye nasesidlangalaleni, kunye nokunye.

Ukuba umntwana wakho unemibuzo ethile, inokuba sisikhokelo esikhokelela ngqo kwingxoxo. UFrancis uthi: "Unako ukuhlala unengxoxo yokulandelelana ukuba awukwazi ukuthinta yonke into."

6. Yabelanani ngezixhobo ezongezelelweyo

Ukongeza ekuchazeni ukuwa kwamanyala aqhelekileyo, ukubala into umntwana wakho anokuyibona okanye azokubona kwi-porn kubalulekile, utshilo uFrancis.

Ngoba? Kungenxa yokuba iincoko kunye nezinto zokufunda ezinceda ukubethelela amaxabiso kwizinto ezinje ngokwamkelwa, imvume, ulonwabo, kunye nokungabi nabundlobongela ziya kunceda umntwana wakho ukuba ahambe bhetele kwimifanekiso engamanyala abahlangana nayo, utshilo.

UFrancis uthi: "Ukuzibamba ezi zixhobo akuncedi abantu abancinci ukuba benze ukhetho olungcono nolunolwazi, kwaye ayizukubayeka ekuthatheni inxaxheba ekuziphatheni okuyingozi."

Izixhobo zokuncedisa ootitshala ngesondo bacebisa abantwana

• Qhafaza
• Umzali ocwangcisiweyo
• Yimangalisa
• "Ukwabelana ngesondo ligama elihlekisayo" nguCory Silverberg
• "EX: Isikhokelo Sakho Sonke Esidinga-Ukwazi Ukuqhubela phambili ngesondo ukuze ukufumane kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo nakwiKholeji" nguHeather Corinna
• "La Ngamehlo Am, Le Yimpumlo Yam, Le Yiyo iVulva Yam, Ezi ziinzwane Zam" nguLexx Brown James
• "Ukulunga ngesini: Ukutshintsha indlela esithetha ngayo nolutsha malunga nesini, amaxabiso kunye neMpilo" ngu-Al Vernacchio
• "Imizimba yethu, Ngokwethu" yiBoston Women's Health Book Collection

Ke, njengoko abantwana bakho bekhula, ungathetha ngezinye iindlela zokubonisa iphonografi, kubandakanya izinto ezinolwazi ngabantu ababhinqileyo ezinje ngobufazi okanye iphonografi yokuziphatha, i-erotica, nokunye, utsho uFrancis.

“Awudingi ukuba wabelane ngezixhobo kunye nabo. Kodwa ukuba bazakuba ngabathengi, bancede babe nolwazi, ”utshilo.

Ezi ngcebiso zinokunceda ukwenza incoko ibe yeyakhayo kuni nobabini

Ukushiya abantwana ukuba bafunde ngesondo kunye nokwenza i-porn kumagqabi abo iitoni zamagumbi emingcipheko abangaxhotyiswanga kuyo ukuhamba, ke ukuthetha nabantwana bakho malunga ne-porn kubalulekile.

Ukuba uziva usoyika, gcinani engqondweni ukuba, ngokukaFrancis, "Inombolo yakho yokuqala kukubanika indawo ekhuselekileyo yokubuza imibuzo yabo malunga ne-porn, nokuba yintoni esele beyibonile kwi-intanethi, nangaphezulu, utshilo.

Kwaye khumbula: Akukaze kube kudala okanye rhoqo ukuba nezi ngxoxo.

UGabrielle Kassel ngumbhali wezempilo oseNew York kunye noMqeqeshi weCrossFit weNqanaba 1. Uye wangumntu wakusasa, wazama umceli mngeni we-Whole30, watya, wanxila, waxukuxa, wahlikihlwa, wahlanjwa namalahle- konke egameni lobuntatheli. Ngexesha lakhe lokuphumla, unokufunyanwa efunda iincwadi zokuzinceda, ukucofa ibhentshi, okanye ukudanisa. Mlandele kwi-Instagram.