Indlela yokujongana nePent-Up Anger

Umxholo

• Oonobangela
• Iimpawu
• Unyango
• Ungawuthintela njani kwaye ulawule umsindo
• Guqula imeko-bume yakho
• Yilungise
• Cela umngeni kwindlela ocinga ngayo
• Ziqhelanise nokuzilolonga
• Sebenzisa ubugcisa bokuyila
• Nini ukubona ugqirha
• Umgca wezantsi

Sonke sinamava okuba nomsindo. Mhlawumbi ngumsindo ojolise kwimeko okanye komnye umntu, okanye mhlawumbi kukuphendula kwakho kwisoyikiso esibonwayo, siyinyani okanye hayi.

Nokuba yintoni ebangela ukuba uzive unomsindo, yindlela ophethe ngayo eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu.

Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa umsindo uthatha indawo kwaye ungafumani ndlela yokulungisa nokukhupha ezi mvakalelo?

Xa oku kusenzeka, umphumo yile nto iingcali zihlala zibhekisa kuyo njengomsindo we-pent-up, okanye umsindo obanjiweyo ungabonakaliswanga. Olu hlobo lomsindo lunokuchaphazela impilo yakho yengqondo kunye nomzimba. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba uchonge, udibanise, kwaye uhambise ngaphaya kwezi mvakalelo.

Oonobangela

Ukuba ukhe wehlelwa ngumsindo wexesha elidlulileyo okanye ukhe wasondela kumntu ojongana nawo, usenokuzibuza ukuba zeziphi izizathu ezibangela ezi mvakalelo zigqithisileyo ezinokuthi zithathe umzimba nengqondo yakho.

Ngokuka-Kathryn Moore, i-PhD, ugqirha wezengqondo e-Providence Saint John's Child kunye neZiko loPhuculo loSapho, ingqumbo yomsindo inokwenzeka njenge:

• ukucaphuka
• ukungazinzi ngaphakathi
• lusizi
• unxunguphalo

Ngelixa izinto ezibangela umntu ngamnye zinokwahluka, u-Moore uthe zikhona izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokucaphuka komsindo, ezinje ngokuziva kungavakali okanye ukungathandwa, ukungamkelwa kwemeko, okanye iimfuno ezingafezekiswanga.

Abanye abantu banokufumana umsindo xa besenzakele. "Endaweni yokuziva besemngciphekweni wentlungu yokuziva ubuhlungu, endaweni yoko baziva benomsindo kwaye bahlala beziva benqwenela ukwenzakalisa abanye," ucacisile uMoore.

U Moore uthe ukudakumba noxinzelelo yimizekelo yomsindo ongachazwanga, kuba umsindo oguqukela ngaphakathi uhlala ukhokelela ekuzicaphukeleni, okubangela uxinzelelo.

Zonke ezi meko zinamava afanayo ngamava omsindo ngaphandle kokuchaza okanye ukujongana neemvakalelo. Xa oku kusenzeka, umsindo uyavunyelwa ukuba udibanise ngaphakathi, kukhokelela kumsindo wokuqina.

Ngelixa umsindo luyimvakalelo evumelekileyo, uMorell uthe amaxesha amaninzi awasisebenzisi okanye asincede sibambelele kuwo.

Iimpawu

Inyathelo lokuqala lokujongana nomsindo oshushu kukufunda ukuba ungayiqonda njani xa isenzeka.

"Ukuba ubambe umsindo, unokuzibona usenza kunye nabanye, uhlala ungabazi, okanye nabo ungafumana khona," ucacisile uAlisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT.

Esi siphumo yindlela eqhelekileyo yokuzikhusela ebizwa ngokuba kukufuduka. Umzekelo ngumsindo wendlela xa mhlawumbi umba wokwenyani kukuba uphambene nomphathi wakho, utshilo uBash.

Ezinye iimpawu ekufuneka uzijongile zibandakanya:

• ukulala kakubi
• Ndiziva ndisecaleni
• ukucaphuka ngokulula
• ukukhathazeka kunye nokucaphuka kwiimeko ezincinci
• ukugxeka okanye ukukhathaza abanye

Unyango

Ukuqonda nokwamkela ukuba unomsindo-linyathelo elilinyathelo elibalulekileyo lokujongana nawo.

Ngokwezonyango, utshilo uBash, kusempilweni ukufumana uncedo lobungcali ngengcali ukukunceda uqonde kwaye wamkele into onomsindo ngayo.

"Ngokuziqhelanisa, unokufunda ukuthetha inyani, usebenzise ilizwi lakho eliyinyani, kwaye ubonakalise umsindo ngokufanelekileyo ngalo mzuzu," wongeze watsho.

Kwakhona, ukuqonda oyena nobangela womsindo kunokukunceda ujongane nale meko okanye umntu ochaphazelekayo.

"Oku kungakhangeleka njengokuncokola nalo mntu ukukhathazileyo, okanye kukuveza iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ubonakalise oko ukwaziyo ukukulawula kwaye ungenakukutshintsha," ucacisile uMoore.

Ungawuthintela njani kwaye ulawule umsindo

Ukufunda indlela yokuthintela kunye nokulawula umsindo okhulayo kunokukunceda uphuhlise iindlela ezintsha zokujongana nokukhathazeka, ukwenzakala, kwaye, ekugqibeleni, umsindo owenzeka ngenxa yezi meko.

Iindaba ezimnandi zikhona iindlela ngeendlela zokufunda ukuba ungaluthintela njani olu hlobo lomsindo ekwakheni kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla. Nazi izicwangciso ezimbalwa onokuzenza ngokwakho:

Guqula imeko-bume yakho

Ngamanye amaxesha utshintsho kwimeko-bume lwanele ukunceda ukuthintela iimvakalelo zomsindo ekucinezelweni. Ngokwenza umgama ngokwasemzimbeni phakathi kwakho nomntu okanye imeko ebangela umsindo wakho, ungafumana indawo oyifunayo ukuze wehlise umoya uye phambili.

Ngelixa ukuzihlalela ngokusisigxina kungangabi yinto onokukhetha kuyo, nokuba ikhefu lokwexeshana elilelokuqala kunokukunceda ujongane nomsindo wokuqina.

Yilungise

Umsebenzi womzimba sisicwangciso esiliqili sokujongana nomsindo.

Nokuba uphehla ipavumente kumgama oziimayile ezintlanu, ukuhamba ngeebhayisikile ehlathini, okanye ukutyhala ubunzima ejimini, ukuhambisa umzimba wakho kunokukunceda udibane, unciphise uxinzelelo, kwaye utshise nayiphi na ingxwabangxwaba ojongana nayo .

Uyakufumana ibhonasi eyongeziweyo yokwenza into elungileyo kwimpilo yakho.

Cela umngeni kwindlela ocinga ngayo

Xa bejongana nomsindo, iingcali zengqondo zihlala zisebenzisa indlela ebizwa ngokuba kukuhlengahlengiswa kwengqondo okukhuthaza ukuba ubeke iingcinga ezingalunganga endaweni yezona zinengqiqo.

Olu tshintsho lwengqondo lukunceda ukuba ucothise iingcinga zakho, ucofe ingcinga, kwaye, ekugqibeleni, utshintshe iimfuno zakho zibe zizicelo.

Ziqhelanise nokuzilolonga

Ukuba unokuziqeqesha ukuba unciphise kwaye uziqhelanise nokuphefumla okunzulu, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhulule umsindo othile ohlangabezana nawo.

Isicwangciso esinye sokuzama kubandakanya ukuphefumla okujolise kuko. Cinga ngoku njengokucotha, ukuphefumla okunzulu kwesisu. Ingumbono olungileyo ukuziqhelanisa noku xa uzolile ukuze wazi ukuba ungayenza njani xa uyifuna kakhulu.

Sebenzisa ubugcisa bokuyila

Enye indlela yokufunda ukulawula umsindo ngendlela esempilweni kukusebenzisa imveliso yobugcisa yoyilo. UBash ucacise ukuba rhoqo, umculo, ukupeyinta, ukudanisa, okanye ukubhala kunokuba zizixhobo ezikhulu zokubonisa iimvakalelo ezinokuba nzima okanye zibe namandla.

Nini ukubona ugqirha

Ngamanye amaxesha izicwangciso ozisebenzisayo ukujongana nomsindo wokhula ngokwakho awusebenzi kwaye kufuneka ufikelele kuncedo lobuchwephesha.

Nazi ezinye iiflegi ezibomvu ekufuneka uziqaphele xa uzama ukufumanisa ukuba ingaba ingqumbo yomsindo ohlangabezana nayo ifikelele kwinqanaba longenelelo lobuchwephesha:

• uthatha inxaxheba ekuziphatheni okuzenzakalisayo
• uzibhaqa ubonakalisa umsindo kwabo ubabona bebuthathaka okanye bengenamandla
• awunakho ukuvumela umsindo uhambe okanye ukwamkela imeko
• umsindo wakho uqala ukubuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukonwaba okanye ukusondela kwabanye

Xa uzifumana ukulesi sikhundla, ukwazi ukuba ujonge phi kwezixhobo kubalulekile, ngakumbi ukuba umsindo wakho ubonakala ungalawuleki.

Ukuba ufuna ukufumana ugqirha osebenzisa indlela yokuziphatha yokuziphatha kwengqondo, eyindlela yonyango eyaziwayo, uMbutho woNyango lokuziPhatha kunye noQeqesho unikezela ngezixhobo ezikwi-intanethi ukukunceda ufumane ingcali kwindawo yakho.

Umbutho waseAmerican Psychological Association ukwanayo nesixhobo esikwi-intanethi ukukunceda ufumane ugqirha wengqondo ofanelekileyo.

Umgca wezantsi

Umsindo yinto eqhelekileyo ebomini. Ngapha koko, ithathwa njengesiqhelo imvakalelo yomntu eqhelekileyo. Kodwa ukuba uziva uziva unomsindo rhoqo, ngakumbi malunga neemeko ezidlulileyo, kubalulekile ukuba usebenze ngezi mvakalelo kwaye uzixolele wena kunye nabanye ngokwenzekileyo.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwazi indlela yokwenza oku kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Yiyo loo nto ukwazi ukuchonga oonobangela kwaye ufunde indlela yokujongana nazo ngendlela esempilweni sisicwangciso-qhinga esiphambili sokuthintela ukuvutha komsindo.