Incoko ephilileyo: Ugqirha wam ucebise ukuba ndizibophelele. Ndiyoyika.

Umxholo

• Sam, bendisokola noxinzelelo olunganyangekiyo kunyango ixesha elide, kwaye kubonakala ngathi ndingangcono.
• Ndiye ndazibulala ngokungakhathali iiveki, kwaye ngelixa ndingacwangcisi ukuzibulala, ugqirha wam wandicebisa ukuba ndisaya esibhedlele ukuze ndikhathalele ngakumbi. Ndiyoyika, nangona kunjalo. Andinalwazi lokuba ndilindele ntoni - {textend} uncedo?
• Inyaniso, nangona kunjalo, yayingeyiyo ifilimu eyoyikisayo endandiyicinga.
• Kutheni le nto kukho umntu, ngokwenene, ukuba ngamava angathandekiyo?
• Oko kwathethi, kunzima ukwazi ngqo indlela yokulungiselela ukuhlala kwisibhedlele esithile, njengoko nganye yahlukile.
• Pakisha ityesi (okanye ibhegi yeduffel)
• Chonga iqela lenkxaso
• Bhala iinombolo zefowuni oza kuzifuna
• Misa yivenkile ethengisa iincwadi okanye ithala leencwadi
• Yenza izicwangciso (ezincinci) zekamva
• Chaza izinto ozilindeleyo
• Kwaye okokugqibela, ngaphambi kokuba ndishiye ibhokisi yam yesepha: Ukuba uya esibhedlele, suku khawulezisa ukuchacha kwakho.
• Njengawo nawuphi na umzabalazo wezempilo, ngamanye amaxesha ukhathalelo olubandakanyekayo luyafuneka. Leyo yinyani yobomi kwaye awusoze ube nesizathu sokuba neentloni.

Njengomntu ophindwe kabini, ndineengcebiso ezininzi kuwe.

Le yiNtetho eNgaqondakaliyo: Ikholamu yengcebiso yokunyaniseka, iingxoxo ezingenampazamo malunga nempilo yengqondo kunye negqwetha uSam Dylan Finch. Ngelixa engenguye ugqirha oqinisekisiweyo, unamava obomi aphila kunye nokuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo (OCD). Ufunde izinto ngendlela enzima ukuze wena (ngethemba) ungazenzi.

Unombuzo uSam ekufuneka awuphendule? Fikelela kwaye unokubonakaliswa kwikholamu elandelayo yeCrazy Talk: [email protected]

Umxholo Qaphela: Isibhedlele sabagula ngengqondo, ukuzibulala

Sam, bendisokola noxinzelelo olunganyangekiyo kunyango ixesha elide, kwaye kubonakala ngathi ndingangcono.

Ndiye ndazibulala ngokungakhathali iiveki, kwaye ngelixa ndingacwangcisi ukuzibulala, ugqirha wam wandicebisa ukuba ndisaya esibhedlele ukuze ndikhathalele ngakumbi. Ndiyoyika, nangona kunjalo. Andinalwazi lokuba ndilindele ntoni - {textend} uncedo?

Xa abantu bendibuza ukuba kunjani na ukulaliswa esibhedlele ngokwasengqondweni, andibethi: "Yeyona holide intle kwendakha ndayithatha."

Kuliholide, ngendlela, bendonwabile amava Kabini. Kwaye andinakukwazi nokubeka iifoto zam zeholide kwi-Instagram, kuba bayisusa ifowuni yam. Imithambo-luvo!

Ukuba bendinayo, nangona kunjalo, ngekhe ijonge into enje:

(Ngaba ungatsho ukuba uburharha yenye yezakhono endinazo?)

Ke ukuba uziva usoyika, ndivelana ngokupheleleyo noloyiko uthetha ngalo. Imithombo yeendaba ayisenzanga ncam malunga noku.

Xa ndenza umfanekiso 'weewadi zengqondo' (uyazi, ngaphambi kokuba ndibekho kwenye), bendizicingela ngendlela efanayo oyikhumbula ngayo into evela kwifilimu eyoyikisayo- {textend} enamagumbi ajijekileyo, izigulana ezikhwazayo, kunye nabongikazi bebopha abantu phantsi kunye nokubathambisa.

Ngokumangalisa njengoko kuvakala njalo, loo mabali ahlaziyiweyo yayikuphela kwendawo ekubhekiswa kuyo kude kube lelo xesha.

Inyaniso, nangona kunjalo, yayingeyiyo ifilimu eyoyikisayo endandiyicinga.

Iindonga zam zazingafakwanga (nangona oko kuvakala kucocekile), abaguli babekwazi ukuba nobuhlobo kunokukhwaza, kwaye owona mdlalo weqonga sasixoxa ngawo ngoobani abalawula kude kude ngokuhlwa xa sibukele umabonwakude.

Oko akutsho ukuba kwakumnandi. Ukulaliswa esibhedlele bekungonwabisi - {textend} kwaye ngeendlela ezininzi kuyothusa kuba ayiqhelekanga ngandlela zonke. Ndikuxelela yonke le nto ukuba ungoyikisi, kodwa kunoko, ukukulungiselela kunye nokukunceda ubeke ulindelo olufanelekileyo olungena.

Uhlengahlengiso olukhulu lunento yokwenza nolawulo, ekuthi wonke umntu asabele ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Awusenalo ulawulo olupheleleyo kukutya okutyayo, apho ulala khona, xa unokusebenzisa ifowuni, ishedyuli yakho, kwaye kwezinye iimeko, xa ushiya.

Kwabanye, ukukwazi ukuyeka ukucwangciswa kwemihla ngemihla kwaye umntu avumele ukuba aphathe loo nto sisiqabu. Kwabanye, ayonwabisi. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha? Yincinci yazo zombini.

Inxalenye endiyithandileyo, nangona kunjalo, yayiyimvakalelo yokuba phantsi kwemicroscope.Ingqondo yokuba ujongiwe ngalo lonke ixesha (kunye nayo, ukulahleka kwemfihlo) kwakungekho lula ukumelana nayo.

Ndaziva ndiphakathi kwengqondo ngaphambi kokuba ndamkelwe, kodwa ndaziva ngathi ndingu-nutjob xa ndiqaphela umntu onebhodi eqhotyoshwayo ethatha amanqaku malunga nokutya endikushiye kwitreyi yam.

Ewe ewe, andizukuyifaka iswekile: Izibhedlele ziindawo ezingonwabanga. Oko akundinqandanga ukuba ndibuyele okwesibini xa bendifuna njalo. (Kwaye ukuba uyaqhubeka nokufunda, ndiza kukunika iingcebiso zokwenza kube lula, ndiyathembisa.)

Ke kutheni ndihambile ngokuzithandela? Kwaye kabini, hayi ngaphantsi? Lowo ngumbuzo ofanelekileyo.

Kutheni le nto kukho umntu, ngokwenene, ukuba ngamava angathandekiyo?

Eyona mpendulo ilula endinokukunika yona ngamanye amaxesha yile imfuno ukwenza kwaye siza kuthanda khetha ukwenza zizinto ezimbini ezahluke kakhulu.

Amaxesha amaninzi, into esiyithandayo igqitha ukugweba kwethu malunga noko sikufunayo, yiyo loo nto izimvo zangaphandle - {textend} ezinje ngengcibi yakho - {textend} zixabiseke kakhulu ekuvuseleleni.

Bambalwa abantu abonwabileyo ukuya esibhedlele nangasiphi na isizathu. Kodwa ukuba ndenze kuphela into endiyenzileyo wayefuna ukwenza, ngenditya i-Sour Patch Kids kwisidlo sakusasa kunye nokuqhekeka kwamatheko abantwana okuzalwa ukuze ndisebenzise indlu yabo yokutya kunye nokutya ikhekhe labo.

Ngamanye amagama, ndingabanjwa ngenxa yokungena ngokungekho mthethweni.

Ndaya esibhedlele kuba intlungu endandinayo yayingaphezu kwamandla am. Ndidinga uncedo, kwaye ngelixa ndandingafuni ukulifumana esibhedlele, ndaqonda ukuba kulapho kulindeleke ukuba ndilufumane khona.

Ukuba unawo umfanekiso-ngqondweni wale ndawo: Ndazibamba ndaya ngqo kwigosa lonyango olungxamisekileyo ndaza ndathi ngokungakhathali, "bendifuna ukutsiba phambi koololiwe, ngenxa yoko ndize apha."

Ayisiyo incoko endakha ndazicingela ukuba ndinayo, kodwa emva koko, bambalwa abantu abalindele ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okanye babhale iskripthi sayo.

Inokuba bendiyithethile ngokungakhathali- {textend} kwaye mhlawumbi ndoyike i-sh * t yomlindi- {textend} kodwa ezantsi, bendisoyika.

Mhlawumbi yeyona nto ikhaliphileyo endakhe ndayenza. Kwaye kufuneka ndinyaniseke kuwe, nam: andinakuthembisa ukuba ngendisaphila ukuba khange ndenze olo khetho.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ubesecicini lokufa ukuze uye esibhedlele, nangona kunjalo.

Andazi ukuba ngugqirha wakho, andinakutsho ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kutheni ukuhlala esibhedlele kulindelwe (ukuba awuqinisekanga, uvumelekile ukuba ubuze, uyazi!). Ndiyazi, nangona kunjalo, ayisiyo ingcebiso yokuba oogqirha bayenze kancinci - {textend} kucetyiswa kuphela ukuba bayakholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba kuyakuba yinzuzo yakho.

“Uyazuza?” Ndiyazi, ndiyazi, kunzima ukucinga ukuba nantoni na elungileyo inokuvela kuyo.

Kodwa ngaphaya kokuhlala "siphila," kukho izibonelelo ezithile ezibalulekileyo esibhedlele sabagula ngengqondo ekufuneka sithethe ngazo.

Ukuba ucingile, nazi ezinye izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe:

• Ufumana ukugxila wena. Ndayibiza ngokuba yiholide, andibi kunjalo? Akukho mibhalo yokuphendula, akukho mimeyile yokusebenza juggle - {textend} eli lixesha lokuba ujolise ngokupheleleyo ekuzikhathaleleni.
• Ufumana iseti eyongezelelweyo yezimvo zonyango. Iqela elitsha leklinikhi, kwaye ke, iseti yamehlo amatsha anokukhokelela kwisicwangciso sonyango okanye kwisifo esitsha esichaza ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
• Izibonelelo zexesha elifutshane zokukhubazeka ziyafikeleleka ngakumbi. Kwiindawo ezininzi, izibonelelo zexesha elifutshane zokukhubazeka ziba lula ukufikelela kuzo xa ulaliswe esibhedlele (kwaye uya kuba noonontlalontle abakhoyo ukukunceda uhambe kule nkqubo, nawe).
• Ungaseta kwakhona isiqhelo sakho. Izibhedlele zengqondo zilandela iishedyuli ezintle (isidlo sakusasa nge-9, unyango lobugcisa emini, unyango lweqela ngo-1, njalo njalo). Ukubuyela kwisiqhelo esiqikelelweyo kunokuba luncedo kunokuba ucinga.
• Utshintsho kunyango lunokwenzeka ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Ukuba kukho into engasebenziyo, awuzukulinda iiveki ezintathu ngaphambi kokuba ubonane nogqirha wengqondo.
• Awunyanzelekanga ukuba uzenze ngathi awuyongxaki. Wonke umntu uhlobo olulindele ukuba ube sisiphithiphithi, akunjalo? Qhubeka, khala ukuba uyafuna.
• Ujikelezwe ngabantu "abayifumanayo." Ukudibana nezinye izigulana, ndafumana izalamane ezinokuyiqonda le nto ndikuyo. Inkxaso yabo yayiluncedo njengabasebenzi bezonyango, ukuba akunjalo.
• Ihlala ikhuselekile kunokuba wedwa. Khange ndikwazi ukutsiba phambi koololiwe xa ndingakwazi ukuphuma kwiwadi ndingenaso isitshixo, ngoku ndingaba njalo?

Oko kwathethi, kunzima ukwazi ngqo indlela yokulungiselela ukuhlala kwisibhedlele esithile, njengoko nganye yahlukile.

Kodwa ukuba uyazivuma ngokuzithandela, ezi zezinye zeziphakamiso ngokubanzi ezinokwenza amava abe ngcono:

Pakisha ityesi (okanye ibhegi yeduffel)

Oku kwandenza ndalala esibhedlele okwesibini ke ibhetele kakhulu kuneyam yokuqala.

Yiza neepijama ezininzi kunye nemizobo esuswe, iimpahla zangaphantsi ezingaphezulu kunokuba ucinga ukuba uyakufuna, ingubo ethambileyo, kunye nayo nayiphi na imisebenzi yokuthomalalisa engabandakanyi izinto zombane okanye izinto ezibukhali.

Chonga iqela lenkxaso

Ngaba umntu ukulungele ukuhlala endlwini yakho kwaye ugcine izinto zicocekile (kwaye, ukuba unamaqabane ezilwanyana, zigcine zondlekile?). Ngubani oza kunxibelelana nendawo osebenza kuyo xa kufuneka uhlaziyo? Ngubani umntu wakho "wonxibelelwano noluntu" ukuba abantu baqala ukuzibuza ukuba kutheni bengakhange beve kuwe okwexeshana?

Cinga ngento oza kuyidinga ngayo, kwaye ungoyiki ukufikelela kwaye ucele inkxaso kubathandekayo bakho.

Bhala iinombolo zefowuni oza kuzifuna

Ngaphezulu kokulindeleka, baya kuyisusa ifowuni yakho. Ke ukuba kukho abantu oya kuthi ufune ukubatsalela umnxeba, kodwa ungenazo iinombolo zefowuni ozikhumbulayo, licebo elilungileyo ukubabhala ephepheni kwaye ubenabo.

Misa yivenkile ethengisa iincwadi okanye ithala leencwadi

Zeziphi izinto ze-elektroniki onokuthi okanye ongenako ukwahluka ngazo esibhedlele, kodwa uninzi luyaphazama kwicala le-detox yedijithali epheleleyo.

Musa ukuphelelwa lithemba, nangona kunjalo! Yiya "kwisikolo esidala" ngokuzonwabisa kwakho: Iinoveli zemizobo, iicomic, iinoveli eziyimfihlakalo, kunye neencwadi zokuzinceda yayingabahlobo bam abasenyongweni xa ndandisesibhedlele. Ndagcina iphepha, nam.

Yenza izicwangciso (ezincinci) zekamva

Ndayazi emva kokulaliswa kwam esibhedlele okokuqala ndiza kufumana itattoo entsha ukuzikhumbuza amandla endawabonakalisayo ekuphulukaneni kwam. Ukuba iyanceda, gcina uluhlu olusebenzayo lwezinto ongathanda ukuzenza xa ufika kwelinye icala.

Chaza izinto ozilindeleyo

Yintoni ofuna ukuyifumana kumava akho esibhedlele? Kuyanceda ukuba nombono ongacacanga wento oyifunayo, kunye nokunxibelelana nabanikezeli bakho kangangoko unakho.

Luluphi uphuculo ekufuneka ulubonile- {textend} logistically, emotionally, and physical - {textend} ukuze ubomi bakho bulawuleke ngakumbi?

Kwaye okokugqibela, ngaphambi kokuba ndishiye ibhokisi yam yesepha: Ukuba uya esibhedlele, suku khawulezisa ukuchacha kwakho.

Le ngcebiso endinokukunika yona kodwa iya kuba yeyona nto iphikisayo, nayo.

Ndiyakuqonda ukungxama ukukhupha isihogo apho kuba yiyo ngokuchanekileyo into endiyenzileyo okokuqala - {textend} Ndide ndabeka umboniso ukuba ndikhululwe kwangoko ... kwakude kudala ngaphambi kokuba ndikulungele ukuhamba.

Kodwa ukulaliswa esibhedlele, ngokuqinisekileyo, kwakha isiseko sokubuyisela kwakhona. Awungekhe ukhawulezise isiseko se-skyscraper, akunjalo?

Kwakungekho nonyaka kamva xa ndandisemva kwe-ambulensi kwakhona, ukulungele ukwenza le nkqubo okwesibini (kuphulukene nomvuzo omninzi kwaye amatyala ezonyango aqokelelwe - {textend} kanye le nto bendizama ukuyiphepha).

Zinike elona thuba liphumelelayo lokuphumelela. Bonisa lonke iqela, iseshoni nganye, sonke isidlo kunye nayo yonke imisebenzi onokuyenza. Landela iingcebiso ozinikiweyo, kubandakanya ukhathalelo lokulandela, ukuya kuthi ga ngokusemandleni akho.

Kulungele ukuzama yonke into - {textend} nditsho nezinto ezibonakala zindinisa okanye zingenamsebenzi - {textend} kube kanye, ukuba akunjalo kabini (ukuze uqiniseke ukuba awuzange nje ube nenqala okokuqala kuba, hey, iyenzeka loo nto).

Kwaye ndithembe, oogqirha bakho abafuni ukuba uhlale esibhedlele ixesha elide kunokuba ufuna ukuba lapho. Akukho sibonelelo ngokukunika loo bhedi xa omnye umntu enokufuna ngaphezulu. Yithemba inkqubo kwaye uyikhumbule le yexeshana

Njengawo nawuphi na umzabalazo wezempilo, ngamanye amaxesha ukhathalelo olubandakanyekayo luyafuneka. Leyo yinyani yobomi kwaye awusoze ube nesizathu sokuba neentloni.

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uyathandabuza kuba ukhathazekile ukuba abanye bazakucinga ntoni, ndifuna ukukhumbuza ngobumnene ukuba akukho nto - {textend} kwaye ndiyathetha akukho nto - {textend} ibaluleke ngaphezu kwempilo-ntle yakho, ngakumbi ngexesha lengxaki yempilo yengqondo.

Khumbula ukuba isibindi asithethi ukuba awoyiki. Andizange ndoyike ngakumbi njengoko ndandinjalo ngaloo mhla ndaya kwi-ER.

Ngaphandle kolo loyiko, nangona kunjalo, ndenze isibindi nangona kunjalo - {textend} nawe unakho.

Unayo le.

Sam

USam Dylan Finch ungummeli okhokelayo kwi-LGBTQ + yezempilo yengqondo, efumene ukwamkelwa kwilizwe jikelele ngebhlog yakhe, Masithi Queer Things Up!, Eyaqala ukuba nentsholongwane ngo-2014. Isazisi se-transgender, ukukhubazeka, ezopolitiko kunye nomthetho, kunye nokunye okuninzi. Ukuzisa ubuchule bakhe obudibeneyo kwimpilo yoluntu nakwimidiya yedijithali, uSam ngoku usebenza njengomhleli wentlalontle eHealthline.