Ungazikhusela njani kwiimeko ezi-5 ezinokuba yingozi, ngokweeNgcali

Umxholo

• Uhamba ngobumnyama kunye / okanye Sketchy Lot yokupaka ebusuku
• Uyalandelwa, nokuba ngeenyawo okanye kwimoto yakho
• Umhla wakho ungakhululekanga Pushy
• Ufumana Ukuxhatshazwa Ngumphathi Wakho okanye Omnye Ophakamileyo
• Uyanyangwa okanye ulandelwa kuThutho loluntu
• Uphengululo lwe

Uninzi loosomashishini ababhinqileyo, ukumilisela imveliso –ukuqokelela kweenyanga (mhlawumbi iminyaka) yegazi, ukubila, kunye neenyembezi- ngumzuzu ovuyisayo. Kodwa kuQuinn Fitzgerald kunye noSara Dickhaus de Zarraga, loo mvakalelo yagqitywa ngokwahlukileyo xa imveliso yabo, uFlare, esiya kwintengiso.

“Kuyoyikeka ukuba le mveliso ibekho,” utshilo uDickhaus de Zarraga. "Siyayithiya into yokuba sikule ndawo."

I-flare, eyenziwe yi-duo, zombini i-Harvard Business School grads, kwi-2016, "sisongo" esiqondayo (Thenga yona, $ 129, getflare.com) eyilelwe ukunceda abantu ukuba baphume kwiimeko ezingakhuselekanga okanye ezingathandekiyo. Umntu onxibayo ucinezela iqhosha elifihliweyo ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwesongo, ukwazisa uluhlu lwabafowunelwa abakhethwe kwangaphambili (okanye amapolisa) kwindawo yabo. Isacholo sinokukhuphela umnxeba wobuxoki kwifowuni yomntu onxibayo ngenxa yesizathu esikhawulezayo sokuphuma kwimeko ye-iffy. (Konke oku kungaqwalaselwa kwi-app yabo.)

Esi sibini, esingamaxhoba oxhatshazo ngokwesondo, sithi badala iFlare kuba izixhobo zokuzikhusela ngelo xesha zazenziwe ngamadoda. "Ngaphambili, ekuphela kwezixhobo zokuzikhusela yayiyimpempe okanye i-alam yobuqu yokwenza ingxolo, ukutshiza ipepile, isixhobo sokwenzakalisa omnye umntu, okanye umnxeba wokucela uncedo," ucacisa watsho uDickhaus de Zarraga. "Kwaye, kuxhomekeke kwisazisi sakho, okanye ukuba ungumntu onombala, [ezo ndlela] zinokukufaka Kaninzi Ingozi."

Kuyo yonke imbali, i-onus ibikwi-womxn ukuya thintela ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo - nokuba oko kuthetha ukuyeka utywala (okanye amaqela ngokupheleleyo), ukuphepha izitayile zempahla ezinokuthi zithathwe njengezobuqhetseba (nangona uSarah Everard enxibe i-sweat pants xa wayexhwilwa e-UK), kwaye wenza nantoni na eyimfuneko ukuphepha naluphi na uhlobo lokuqwalaselwa - kunokuba kunokwenza utshintsho olukhulu kuluntu ukuthintela izenzo zobundlobongela zabenzi bobubi ngokwabo. (Eyeleleneyo: Emva kukaSarah Everard, abasetyhini bafumana ingcebiso ngokuhlala bekhuselekile-kodwa ngamadoda ekufuneka atshintshe indlela yokuziphatha)

Ewe kunjalo, ukuthi siphila kwihlabathi elinamandla apho i-womxn ayidingi kuthenga izacholo ezinobuqhophololo, ukufunda ubugcisa bemfazwe, okanye ukuhlala uxinzelelo malunga neendawo zabo ezingama-24/7 kufana nokubanga ukuba siphila kuluntu lwasemva kobuhlanga . Phantse ama-8 kwabali-10 base-US abangaphezulu kweminyaka ye-18 baxelwe ngokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo kuhlolo olunye lwe-2018, ngelixa uphononongo lwakutshanje lwabasetyhini base-UK lufumanise ukuba inani elinokubakho lisondele kwiipesenti ezingama-97. (Kwaye ngelixa ucinga ukuba ubungakanani besampulu encinci yesampulu ayichazi umfanekiso omkhulu ngokwaneleyo, iskena esinye se-hashtag # 97perecent kwi-TikTok, ebhekisa ngokuthe ngqo kwisiphumo sophononongo, ibonelela ngobungqina obaneleyo bokuba woxn zi ukuhlangabezana nohlaselo ngokwesondo ngamazinga awothusayo.) Isihogo, nokuba nje ekhoyo emsebenzini Njengomfazi oMnyama unokuba ngunobangela wokudliwa kwangaphambili. Ngapha koko, abantu basetyhini abaNtsundu baxela ukuba bahlangabezana ne-Sexual Harassment emsebenzini kathathu izinga labafazi abamhlophe, ngokwengxelo ye-National Women's Law Centre, umbutho onamalungelo asemthethweni ongajonganga nzuzo.

Inyani yokuba i-womxn ifuna ukuzikhusela kwiimeko ezingonwabisiyo (okanye eziyingozi) -ngokukodwa, ngamadoda- iyafunxa. Kodwa inyani yile, njengoko ingxelo evela kuMbutho wezeMpilo weHlabathi ityhila, uninzi lobundlobongela obenziwa kwabasetyhini lwenziwa ngamadoda. Ngapha koko, uphononongo luphawula ukuba kwakungekho datha yaneleyo yokujonga ubundlobongela besini esifanayo kwabasetyhini. Ngaphezu koko, ubundlobongela obubhekiselele kwabasetyhini abangathobeliyo okanye abangathobeliyo ngokwesini luye lwanda ngo-2020, kwabulawa abantu abangama-44 e-US - besenza owona nyaka ubhubhileyo kwirekhodi, ngokwePhulo lamaLungelo oLuntu.

Oko kuthethiweyo, ngelixa uloyiko lokuhlaselwa akufuneki likuthintele ukuba uphile ubomi bakho, ukuthatha amanyathelo ambalwa okhuseleko kunye nokuxhobisa ngolwazi lokuzikhusela kunokukunceda uzive ukhululekile.

Apha, iingcali zihamba ngendlela yokusingatha iimeko ezintlanu ezinokuba yingozi onokuzifumana ukuzo, kunye nendlela yokuphuma ngokukhawuleza ngokukhuselekileyo.

Uhamba ngobumnyama kunye / okanye Sketchy Lot yokupaka ebusuku

Kwiindawo apho usiya khona okanye usiya khona, indawo ekuyiwa kuyo (enjengeegaraji zokupaka kunye neqashiso) zezinye zeendawo eziqhelekileyo zangaphambili, ngokukaBeverly Baker, ingcali yokuzikhusela kunye nomseki weAsphalt Anthropology eLos Angeles. "Ezi ndawo zifuna ukukhuthala okongezelelekileyo, kuba zisesidlangalaleni ngokwaneleyo ukuba umntu angafikelela kuwe, kodwa zihlala zibucala ngokwaneleyo ukuba zivumele ukuba basebenze ngaphandle kwamangqina okanye uphazamiseko," ucacisa uB Baker.

Emva kokungena kwigaraji okanye kwindawo yokupaka, uBheki uhlala ecebisa abathengi bakhe ukuba baskene le ndawo. Ngaba kukho iintsika, izinyuko, okanye izithuthi ezinkulu umntu anokuzimela ngasemva? Ziphephe ezo ndawo, uyacebisa, kwaye uzame ukupaka kufutshane kangangoko kunokwenzeka ekungeneni okanye ekuphumeni.

"Kwaye xa ufika, buyisela imoto yakho endaweni," ucebisa. "Oku kuthetha ukuba akufuneki uhambe ubude obupheleleyo bemoto ukuya kumnyango womqhubi kwaye unokukhupha ngokubonakala ngokupheleleyo kwendawo yakho."

Ezinye iingcebiso zendawo yotshintsho ukusuka eBaker? Beka ifowuni yakho phantsi, hamba ngokukhawuleza nangokuzithemba ujongo lwakho lubanzi, kwaye izandla zakho zikhululekile (kodwa gcina izitshixo zakho zilungile ukuze uvule ngokukhawuleza kwaye utsibe kwisithuthi sakho).

Owu, kwaye uthetha ngezi zitshixo- kuya kufuneka uzibambe njengesinqe phakathi kweminwe yakho ukuhlasela nabaphi na abeza, akunjalo? "Kukho intsomi yexesha elide yokuba ukubamba izitshixo zakho phakathi kweminwe yakho sisixhobo esilungileyo sokuzikhusela, kodwa oku akuyonyani!" Utshilo uBaker. "Izitshixo ziya kuhamba nefuthe kunye nomngcipheko wokukwenzakalisa ngaphezu kwesoyikiso."

Endaweni yokuba, u-Baker ucebisa ukuba uphathe kwaye ugcine uhlobo oluthile lwezixhobo zokuzikhusela kufutshane-nangona kuxhomekeke kakhulu kwinqanaba lakho lokuthuthuzela kwaye kusemthethweni kwindawo yakho. Oku kunokubandakanya ukutshiza ipepile okanye uhlobo oluthile lompu (Yithenge, $ 24, amazon.com), imela, isibane esine-boram ephezulu (Thenga yona, $ 40, amazon.com) ukuphazamisa okwethutyana umhlaseli, okanye ubunzima into endleleni yakho, njengekhandlela elinzima, izinto ezikwishelufu yeencwadi, okanye isikere. (Idibeneyo: Abathengi Batsho ukuba le Pepper Spray igcine ubomi babo)

Uyalandelwa, nokuba ngeenyawo okanye kwimoto yakho

Ukuba kukho enye into eyoyikisayo kunokungena kwigaraji emnyama yokupaka ebusuku, uhambahamba okanye uqhuba wedwa-kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyalandelwa. (Eyeleleneyo: Inyaniso Engqongqo malunga nokuBaleka uKhuseleko lwabasetyhini)

Inyathelo lokuqala ukuba urhanela ukuba uyalandelwa kukujika nje. "Enye [imoto] kuya kufuneka ijike Jike okanye ishiye imoto yabo, utshilo uBaker.

Ukuba unako, u-Baker ucebisa ngokuhamba ngokhuseleko kunokuba nje usengozini. “Musa ukujika uhambe kwindledlana eshiyiweyo,” utshilo. "Ngena evenkileni ukuba unako."

Kwaloo ngqiqo ifanayo iyasebenza ukuba ukrokrela ukuba isithuthi sisemva kwakho ngelixa uqhuba. "Musa ukugoduka ukuba uyalandelwa," utshilo uBaker, eqonda ukuba uhlala usiya kwindawo ekhuselekileyo apho unokufowunela khona uncedo (cinga: isikhululo somlilo, isikhululo samapolisa, ivenkile, okanye indawo yokutyela).

Umhla wakho ungakhululekanga Pushy

Ngelixa abahlaseli betsiba ematyholweni okanye kwiigaraji zokumisa izithuthi kululoyiko olucacileyo, uhlaselo oluthile (endaweni yoko, uninzi) lwenzeka ngeendlela ezisondeleleneyo neziqhelekileyo: o.k.t. umhla weTinder onobundlongondlongo. (Idibeneyo: I-6 Dos Dating Dos and Don'ts for Internet Safety)

"Ukuba ukwimeko engonwabisiyo, jonga igqwetha," ucebisa uHeather Hansen, ingcali yokuzimela, umhlalutyi wezomthetho kunye negqwetha letyala. UHansen uphawula ukuba le inokuba yiyo nabani na okufuphi, nokuba kungumhambi webhartender okanye omnye umxhasi, onokuthi wazise ukuba ukwimeko yokuncamathela. Kuya kufuneka ubuze igqwetha ukuba lingene kumhla wakho (yithi, ukuba kufuneka uvuke uye kwigumbi lokuhlambela) kwaye ubuze uthotho lwemibuzo: "Wenza njani wonke umntu?" okanye "usela ntoni apha?" ucebisa uHansen acebise.

UHansen uthi: “Ukuba umenzi wobubi uyaqhubeka, lowo ubukeleyo unokubuza nje ukuba nenza ntoni na nobabini. "Oku kusebenza ngakumbi ukuba ummeli uchonge njengendoda kwaye umenzi wobubi naye wenza njalo." Ngelo xesha, uHansen uyagxininisa, (ngethemba) ukhetho lwakho luvulekile malunga nokuhamba. Ngelixa usuku lwakho luphazamisekile, ngaba ungamhlaba phantsi umntu ohamba kunye okanye umntu okhuselekileyo ukukhusela kwaye akuncede uphume? Nangona kuya kufuneka uvavanye imeko (wonke umntu uya kusabela ngendlela eyahlukileyo), zama ukwenza imephu iindlela zokuphuma ngokukhawuleza xa umntu engena kuloo ndawo.

Enye inketho (ngobulumko) yokuphuma kwimeko engathandekiyo kwibhari okanye kwindawo yokutyela: yalela "ingelosi idubule." Njengomntu one-TikTok wentsholongwane evela kumdali @benjispears ucacisa, umpu uyikhowudi "ndisengxakini; ndincede." Ngelixa ingengawo onke amaziko anelinye (kwaye linokubizwa ngokuba yenye into ukukhusela ukufihla kwabo kuboni), uya kuthi ubone uphawu oluthunyelwe kwigumbi lokuhlambela ulumkisa abafazi ukuba lukhetho. Nokuba indawo okuyo ithatha inxaxheba, ungalibazisi ukufola nje umntu ezantsi endleleni eya, okanye ngaphakathi, kwigumbi lokuhlambela ukuba awuqinisekanga.

Ukuba akukho mntu ukufutshane, okanye uziva ungonwabanga ukubuza ngeenxa zonke, uHansen ucebisa ukuba uxelele usuku lwakho olungqongqo kwangaphambili ukuba awonwabanga. Kwaye, ewe, zama ukungakuchukumisi ukutya okanye isiselo sakho ukuba bekungekho emehlweni akho, nokuba kungomzuzwana, njengoko umntu ebenokukuphazamisa. (Inxulumene: Olu Lutsha lungenise iStraw esinokuNceda ukuKhangela uMhla wokuDlwengulwa kweziyobisi)

Kwaye ukuba izinto ziyenyuka, musa ukoyika ukuphakama uhambe. "Fumana ukukhwela ekhaya uye komnye umntu okanye ukhethe inkonzo yokwabelana ngokukhwela," utshilo uBaker, eqaphela ukuba ukuba ukhathazekile malunga nokulandelwa, ungacela ezokhuseleko ukuba zikukhaphe uye kwindawo yakho (okanye ubize amapolisa akuncede).

Ufumana Ukuxhatshazwa Ngumphathi Wakho okanye Omnye Ophakamileyo

Xa kuziwa kwi-snide DMs kubantu osebenza nabo okanye kumzuzu ongaxakekangayo ne-VP ephezulu kuhambo lomsebenzi, uHansen ugxininisa umthetho obaluleke kakhulu (kodwa olula) ngokuhlukunyezwa emsebenzini: "Uxwebhu yonke into –– kuquka zonke iimeko zokuhlukunyezwa kunye nendlela ophendula ngayo. Yenza yonke into ebhaliweyo ukuba unako." (Uphawula ukuba, kwamanye amazwe, akukho mthethweni ukurekhoda ingxoxo ngaphandle kwemvume evela kuwo onke amaqela, ngoko gcina loo nto engqondweni.)

UHansen uphawula ukuba ukufumana igqwetha kubalulekile, nako. "Thetha nomntu osebenza nabantu ukuba umenzi wobubi ngumphathi wakho, kwaye uthethe nomphathi wakho ukuba ngumntu osebenza ngabasebenzi," ucebisa.

Kodwa kufuneka wenze ntoni ngalo mzuzu ukuzikhusela kunye nokusasaza imeko? Oko kuyakhohlisa, utshilo uHansen. "Nokuba uthetha nomntu okuhlukumezayo okanye iqabane lakho, ndingacebisa ukuba ligcine liyinyani kwaye linenjongo: 'Xa usenza le / esenza le nto, kwaye indenza ndizive ngale ndlela.'" amava ngokweemvakalelo kakhulu, ukuba unokusebenza ukuphendula kunokuba usabele, uya kuba ngummeli onamandla kakhulu. "

Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba nangaliphi na ixesha ukwesaba ukhuseleko lwakho kwaye usengozini ngokukhawuleza, yiya ngqo kumapolisa - kwakhona, kunye nobungqina bokuxhatshazwa, ukuba unayo.

Uyanyangwa okanye ulandelwa kuThutho loluntu

Ngokufana nokuba ulandelwa yimoto okanye ngeenyawo, kunye nokuhamba koluntu, kufuneka ubheke kwindawo ekhuselekileyo kunokuba ube kude nengozi, utshilo u-Baker. Kodwa kude kube lelo xesha, ukumane ujongana nabani na okrokrela ukuba uyakroba unganceda-nangona kungabonakala ngathi koyikisa. "Ndiyenzile le nto intliziyo yam ibetha kakhulu," uvuma uBaker. "Kodwa nantsi into: Izisongelo azifuni kujoliswa nzima. Uninzi lwazo luyakonwabela ukukwenza woyike. Flip script." U-Baker uthi uthetha into ecaleni kwemigca "Ufuna ntoni?" okanye, ngokuthe ngqo, "Kutheni undilandela nje?" inokunceda.

Ukuba awukhululekanga ukunxulumana nomntu, kulungile, nawe. Guqula iimoto zikaloliwe, yehla, kwaye ulinde elandelayo. “Kungcono ukufika emva kwexesha kunokuba ungakhululekanga,” utshilo uBaker. Kwaye ngalo naliphi na ixesha apho uziva ngathi usengozini enkulu, kubandakanya naziphi na kwezi meko zingasentla, ungathandabuzi ukubiza u-9-1-1.

Uphengululo lwe