Lo mfazi uchaze ngokugqibeleleyo umahluko phakathi kokuzithanda kunye nokuBekwa komzimba

Umxholo

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Wonke umntu unelungelo lokuthanda ulusu akulo. Lo ngumyalezo okhuthazayo wonke umntu onokuvumelana ngawo, akunjalo? Kodwa i-ICYDK, ukuzithanda kwakho kunye nokuziqhelanisa nokuzithemba komzimba ayifani.

Nangona ihlala inxulunyaniswa, kukho umahluko phakathi kokuzithanda kunye nokuqina komzimba-inkcukacha esandul' ukuziswa kwingqwalasela yokuqina komzimba uNicole, we-Nix Fitness. Wathatha u-Instagram ukuze abelane nabanye ukuba uxelelwe ukuba unethemba lomzimba "ayingowakhe" kuba "ungumfazi obhityileyo".

"Ekuqaleni, ndandibuhlungu kwaye ndididekile ukuva oku," ubhale watsho eposini. "'Ngaba wonke umntu unelungelo lokuthanda umzimba akuwo? Akubonakali kubandakanywa kakhulu' ndacinga." (Eyeleleneyo: Kutheni le nto ukuhlamba umzimba kuyingxaki enkulu kangaka-kwaye yintoni onokuyenza ukuyiyeka)

UNicole emva koko wazithathela kuye ukuba enze uphando ngakumbi malunga nokuqina komzimba ukuze aqonde ukuba intshukumo imalunga nantoni na. (Idibeneyo: Andinguye uMzimba oLungileyo okanye uMzimba oMdaka-NdinguMna nje)

"Ndabona ukuba ndiyifumene yonke into," ubhale watsho. "Ewe, wonke umntu unelungelo lokuthanda umzimba wakhe kodwa oko akusiyo i-positivity yomzimba, kukuthanda. Kwaye kukho umehluko."

Injongo yokwenyani yentshukumo yomzimba kukukhuthaza abantu abanemizimba ebekelwe bucala (curvy, queer, trans, imizimba yombala, njl.njl. kufanelekile Wokuzithanda, uSarah Sapora, umcebisi wokuzithanda kunye nommeli wentlalontle, usixelele ngaphambili. Nangona kunjalo, njengoko intshukumo isiya "ixhaphake ngakumbi kwaye ithengiswa ngakumbi," injongo yayo yasekuqaleni iye "yankcenkceshelwa" kwaye yathathwa kwiintsingiselo ezininzi, kuchaza uSapora.

Ukuxhamla "ukuzithemba komzimba" kunye "nokuzithanda" ngokudibeneyo kuyayityeshela imizabalazo abajamelana nayo abantu abanemizimba ebekelwe bucala iminyaka emininzi. "Ukuzithemba komzimba akunakuba malunga nokubhitya, tye, cisgendered, abafazi abamhlophe abaye bakhululeka ngeeponti ezili-10 ezongezelelweyo kwizakhelo zabo," uStacey Rosenfeld, Ph.D., ugqirha wezengqondo onelayisensi kunye nobungcali bokuqina, usixelele kutsha nje. udliwano-ndlebe.

UNicole ubonakala efikile kwisigqibo esifanayo: "Njengomntu ongekho emzimbeni ocalucalulwayo, andikwazi ukubiza ukubhiyozela isisu sam esithambileyo 'umzimba onomdla', kukuzithanda nje," ubhale. "Nangona ukhuseleko lwethu lusasebenza, ndicinga ukuba kubalulekile ukuba siwubone umahluko kuba ukusilela ukwenza njalo, kususa amazwi abantu intshukumo eyenzelwe bona." (Idibeneyo: Ngaba Uyawuthanda Umzimba Wakho Kwaye Usafuna Ukutshintsha?)

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo: Ungazithanda wena kwaye ziqhelise ukukhuthaza umzimba-yazi nje ukuba la magama mabini ahlukile kwelinye. Ngelixa ukuzithanda yinto onokusebenzela kuyo ngaphakathi kwaye ukhuthaze abanye ukuba baziqhelanise, ukuzithemba komzimba kuthetha ukuba lihlakani kwabo banemizimba ebekelwe bucala, ukubiza ilungelo lomzimba xa ulibona, kunye nemingeni yokucinga kwangaphambili malunga ukunyaniseka yemizimba yabantu.

Ngokwenyani, oko kuthetha ukuba ujonge olwakho ucalucalulo olunxulumene nomzimba kwaye unike abanye indawo yokuvakalisa amazwi abo, uSapora usixelele. "Ukuba ungumntu ocekethekileyo, okanye ohambelana 'nesiqhelo' kuluntu, qinisekisa ukuba ilizwi lakho kunye nebali lomzimba wakho aliwagxibi amazwi kunye namabali abo bangamelwe kakuhle," ucacisile.

UKatie Willcox, ongumfuziselo, umbhali, nomseki wencwadi ethi Healthy Is The New Skinny, ucebisa ukukhokela ngomzekelo: “Awunakwenza indima yakho ngokushumayela, ukugweba, okanye ukubonisa ubomi obufezekileyo ku-Instagram, kodwa ngokuba ngumzekelo ophilayo womntu. ozithandayo kwaye ophila ngendlela ebonisa oko ngaphandle. "

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