Nceda uyeke ukusebenzisa ukugula kwam kwengqondo ukufeza umbono wakho

Umxholo

• Eyona ntsomi ifunwayo: 'Imida yeendawo ezingalunganga imbi'
• Ukuthandana ne 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl'
• Ngaphandle kweemovie
• Iziphumo zobomi bokwenyani zezi ntsomi
• Ngaphandle kwebala

Ndifumene iintsomi zesini kunye neefesiti ezijikeleze abantu abanomda wobuntu obusemngceleni zixhaphakile- kwaye zibuhlungu.

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Oko ndandineminyaka eli-14 ubudala, amagama athi “monitor for a personality or mood disorder” abhalwa ngqindilili kwizicangca zam zonyango.

Namhlanje ngumhla, Ndacinga ngomhla wam wokuzalwa we-18. Njengomntu okhulileyo ngokwasemthethweni, bendiya kuthi ekugqibeleni ndifumane uxilongo lwasempilweni lwengqondo emva kweminyaka yokuhanjiswa ngenqanawa ukusuka kwinkqubo enye yonyango lwempilo yengqondo ukuya kolandelayo.

Kwi-ofisi yam yonyango, wachaza, "UKyli, unengxaki yempilo yengqondo ebizwa ngokuba ngumda wobuntu obunemida."

Ndijonge ukuba nethemba, ndaziva ndikhululekile ukuba mna ekugqibeleni ndinamagama okuchaza imeko etshintshatshintshayo, isimilo sokuzenzakalisa, i-bulimia, kunye neemvakalelo ezinamandla endakha ndaziva nazo rhoqo.

Nangona kunjalo ukugweba ebusweni bakhe kwandikhokelela ekubeni ndikholelwe ukuba amandla am amatsha okuxhobisa aya kuhlala ithutyana.

Eyona ntsomi ifunwayo: 'Imida yeendawo ezingalunganga imbi'

Umanyano lukaZwelonke lweSifo seNgqondo (NAMI) luqikelela phakathi kwe-1.6 kunye ne-5.9 yeepesenti yabantu abadala baseMelika abanomda wobuntu obunomda (BPD). Baqaphela malunga neepesenti ezingama-75 zabantu abafumana ukuxilongwa kwe-BPD ngabafazi. Uphando lubonisa ukuba izinto zebhayoloji kunye nenkcubeko zinokuba ngunobangela wale msantsa.

Ukufumana ukuxilongwa kwe-BPD, kuya kufuneka uhlangane neemfuno ezintlanu kwezisithoba ezichazwe kuhlelo olutsha lweNcwadana yokuHlola kunye neNgcaciso yeNcwadi yokuPhazamiseka kwengqondo (DSM-5). Bazi:

• Ingqondo engazinzanga yesiqu sakho
• uloyiko olukhulu lokushiywa
• imiba egcina ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu
• iindlela zokuzibulala okanye zokuzenzakalisa
• ukungazinzi kwemood
• iimvakalelo zokuba lilize
• ukwahlukana
• ukudubuleka ngumsindo
• ukungxamiseka

Kwiminyaka eyi-18, ndadibana nazo zonke iikhrayitheriya.

Njengokuba bendifunda ngewebhusayithi ezichaza ukugula kwam kwengqondo, ithemba lam ngekamva lam ngokukhawuleza laba lihlazo. Ukukhula kwamaziko kunye nolunye ulutsha oluphila nokugula ngengqondo, andizange ndibhencwe rhoqo kwihlazo lezempilo yengqondo.

Kodwa andizange ndihlwaye iimbombo ezimnyama ze-intanethi ukufumanisa oko abantu abaninzi bacinga ngako ngabasetyhini abane-BPD.

"Imida yelizwe imbi," funda uphando lokuqala olugqityiweyo kuGoogle.

Iincwadi zokuzinceda zabantu abaneBPD zazinezihloko ezinjengezi "Iindidi ezintlanu zaBantu Abangonakalisa Ubomi Bakho." Ngaba ndandingumntu ombi?

Ndikhawuleze ndafunda ukukufihla ukuxilongwa kwam, nditsho nakubahlobo abasenyongweni nosapho. I-BPD yaziva njengeleta ebomvu, kwaye ndandifuna ukuyigcina ikude ebomini bam kangangoko ndinako.

Ukuthandana ne 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl'

Ndikulangazelele inkululeko endandiyisilela kakhulu kwiminyaka yam yokufikisa, ndalishiya iziko lonyango kwinyanga enye emva kokuzalwa kwam kwe-18. Ndagcina ukuxilongwa kwam kuyimfihlo, de ndadibana nesoka lam lokuqala emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa.

Wayecinga ngaye njenge-hipster. Xa ndamxelela ukuba ndineBPD, ubuso bakhe buchachambile yimincili. Sikhule xa iimovie ezinje nge "The Virgin Suicides" kunye ne "Garden State," apho abalinganiswa abaphambili bathatheka ngohlobo olunye-lwentaba-nye lwabafazi abagula ngengqondo, babephezulu ekuthandeni kwabo.

Ngenxa yeli phupha lentombazana iManic Pixie trope, ndiyakholelwa ukuba kukho umtsalane kuye wokuba nentombazana egula ngengqondo.

Ndaziva ndingenakukwazi ukuhamba kwimigangatho engekho ngqiqweni endandiziva ukuba kufuneka ndiphile njengebhinqa eliselula-umfazi ogula ngengqondo, ukuqala. Ke, ndaziva ndirhalela ukulungelelanisa indlela awayexhaphaza ngayo iBPD yam.

Ndandifuna ukuba isigulo sengqondo samkelwe. Ndandifuna ukwamkelwa.

Njengokuba ubudlelwane bethu babuqhubela phambili, waba nomdla kwiinkalo ezithile zengxaki yam. Ndandiyintombazana eyayisoloko inobungozi, ingxamisekileyo, isondo kunye novelwano kwimpazamo.

Okwangoku, okwangoku xa iimpawu zam zaye zatshintsha zaya “kwinto ephosakeleyo” zaya “kwimpambano” ngokwembono yakhe - ukutshintsha kweemvakalelo, ukukhala okungalawulekiyo, ukusika - ndiye ndalahlwa.

Inyani yemizabalazo yempilo yengqondo ayishiyanga ndawo yokuba iphupha likaManic Pixie Iphupha lakhe lentombazana likhule, ngenxa yoko sahlukana kungekudala emva koko.

Ngaphandle kweemovie

Nangona ndiziva ngathi uluntu lwethu lubambelele kwinkolelo yokuba abantu basetyhini abanemida abathandeki kwaye bayityhefu eqinisekileyo kubudlelwane, abasetyhini abane-BPD kunye nezinye izifo zengqondo nabo bayachaswa.

Ugqirha Tory Eisenlohr-Moul, unjingalwazi oncedisayo kwizifundo zengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseIllinois eChicago, uxelela uHealthline ukuba uninzi lwendlela yokuziphatha kwabasetyhini abanemida yokubonisa "bafumana umvuzo kuluntu kwixesha elifutshane, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, bafumana urhabaxa wohlwaywa. ”

Ngokwembali, kuye kwakho umdla omkhulu kubasetyhini abagula ngengqondo. Kuyo yonke inkulungwane ye-19 (kwaye kwakude kudala ngaphambi koko), abasetyhini ababonwa begula baguqulwa baba yimidlalo yeqonga yoogqirha abangamadoda ubukhulu becala ukuba benze iimvavanyo zoluntu. (Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ezi "zonyango" bezingavisisani.)

“Le [hlazo lempilo yengqondo] lidlala ngokuqatha ngakumbi kwabasetyhini abanemida, kuba uluntu lwethu lukulungele ukugxotha abantu basetyhini 'njengabantu abaphambeneyo.'” -Ugqirha Eisenlohr-Moul

I-lore ejikeleze abafazi abagula ngengqondo iguqukile ngokuhamba kwexesha ukuze ibathobe isidima ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Umzekelo ophawulekayo kuxa uDonald Trump wabonakala kwi “The Howard Stern Show” ngo-2004, nakwingxoxo malunga noLindsay Lohan, wathi, “Kwenzeka njani ukuba abafazi abakhathazeke ngokunzulu, uyazi, ngokunzulu, bakhathazeke ngokunzulu, bahlala bengabona ebhedini?"

Ngaphandle kwendlela ezaziphazamisa ngayo izimvo zikaTrump, imbono yokuba abafazi "abaphambeneyo" babalasele kwisini yindawo eqhelekileyo.

Nokuba uyathandwa okanye uyathandwa, ubonwa njengokuma kobusuku obunye, okanye indlela yokukhanyisela, ndiziva ubunzima obusoloko bukho behlazo eliqhotyoshelwe kukuphazamiseka kwam. Amagama amathathu amancinci - "Ndingumda wam" - kwaye ndiyakwazi ukubukela amehlo omntu etshintsha njengoko esenza i-backstory kum ezingqondweni zabo.

Iziphumo zobomi bokwenyani zezi ntsomi

Kukho umngcipheko kuthi abo bawela kwi-crux yabo bobabini ubuchule kunye nokwabelana ngesondo.

Olunye uphononongo luka-2014 lwabonisa ukuba iipesenti ezingama-40 zabasetyhini abagula ngengqondo babekhe bahlaselwa ngokwesondo sele bebadala. Ngaphandle koko, iipesenti ezingama-69 ziye zaxela ukuba zinengxaki ethile yobundlobongela basekhaya. Ngapha koko, abasetyhini abakhubazekileyo nangaluphi na uhlobo kunokwenzeka ukuba babe phantsi koxinzelelo ngokwesondo kunabafazi ngaphandle.

Oku kuba buhlungu ngakumbi kwimeko yokugula kwengqondo njenge-BPD.

Nangona ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwesondo kwabantwana kungathathelwa ingqalelo njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo ekuphuhliseni i-BPD, uphando luye lwacebisa kwenye indawo phakathi kwabantu abane-BPD nabo banamava okuhlukumezeka ngokwesini kwabantwana.

Njengomntu ophethwe gadalala ngokwesondo, ndaqonda ngonyango ukuba i-BPD yam yayiphuhlisiwe ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa endikunyamezeleyo. Ndifundile ukuba, nangona kungenampilo, umbono wam wokuzibulala wemihla ngemihla, ukuzenzakalisa, ukuphazamiseka kwindlela otya ngayo, kunye nokungxama zonke ezo zinto beziziindlela nje zokulwa. Babeyindlela yam yokunxibelelana, "Kufuneka uphile, nangayiphi na indlela eyimfuneko."

Nangona ndifundile ukuhlonipha imida yam ngonyango, ndisagcwele ixhala eliqhubekayo lokuba umngcipheko wam unokukhokelela kuphatho gadalala kunye nokuvuselelwa kwakhona.

Ngaphandle kwebala

UBessel van der Kolk, MD, wabhala kwincwadi yakhe ethi “The Body Keeps The Score,” esithi “inkcubeko ibumba ukubonakaliswa koxinzelelo.” Nangona oku kuyinyani ngokwenzakala, andinakukunceda kodwa ndikholelwe ukuba iindima zesini ziye zadlala indima ebalulekileyo ekubeni kutheni abantu ababhinqileyo abane-BPD bachithwe ngokukodwa okanye bachaswa.

"Oku [ukubekwa amabala] kudlala ngokungqongqo ngakumbi kwabasetyhini abanemida, kuba uluntu lwethu lukulungele kakhulu ukugxotha abantu basetyhini 'njengabantu abaphambeneyo,' utshilo uGqirha Eisenlohr-Moul. "Isohlwayo kumfazi ongxamisekileyo sikhulu kakhulu kunendoda engxamisekileyo."

Nangona ndiqhubekile ngokufumana kwakhona impilo yam yengqondo kwaye ndafumanisa ukuba ndingazilawula njani iimpawu zam zemida ngendlela esempilweni, ndiye ndafunda ukuba iimvakalelo zam azisoze zithule ngokwaneleyo kwabanye abantu.

Inkcubeko yethu sele ifundisa abantu basetyhini ukuba bawufake ngaphakathi kubo umsindo kunye nosizi lwabo: ukuze babonwe, kodwa bangaviwa. Abasetyhini abanomda womda - abaziva benesibindi kwaye bezinzulu - zezona zinto zichasene ngokupheleleyo nendlela esifundiswa ngayo ukuba abafazi mababe njalo.

Ukuba nomda njengowasetyhini kuthetha ukubanjwa ngokuqhubekayo phakathi komlilo phakathi kwehlazo lezempilo yengqondo kunye nokuziphatha ngokwesini.

Ndandidla ngokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ngubani endabelana naye ngesifo sam. Kodwa ngoku, ndihlala ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwinyaniso yam.

Ibala kunye neentsomi ezenziwa luluntu lwethu kubantu basetyhini abane-BPD ayingomnqamlezo wethu ukuba siwuthwale.

UKyli Rodriguez-Cayro ngumbhali waseCuba naseMelika, ugqwetha wezempilo yengqondo, kunye nomzabalazo osisiseko oseSalt Lake City, eUtah. Ungummeli othetha phandle wokuphelisa ubundlobongela obuphathelele kwezesondo kunye nabasetyhini kwabasetyhini, amalungelo abathengisi ngemizimba, ubulungisa bokukhubazeka, kunye nobufazi obuqukayo. Ukongeza ekubhaleni kwakhe, uKyli waseka ngokubambisana iMagdalene Collective, uluntu olwalusebenza ngokuthengisa ngesondo eSalt Lake City. Ungamndwendwela kwi-Instagram okanye kwiwebhusayithi yakhe.