Into ekufuneka uyazi malunga namanqanaba entlungu

Umxholo

• Zivela phi izigaba zentlungu?
• Ngaba usizi lusoloko lulandelelana ngokulandelelana kwamanqanaba?
• Inqanaba 1: Ukuphika
• Imizekelo yenqanaba lokukhanyela
  
• Inqanaba 2: Umsindo
• Imizekelo yenqanaba lomsindo
  
• Inqanaba 3: Ukuxoxa
• Imizekelo yenqanaba leengxoxo
  
• Inqanaba 4: Uxinzelelo
• Imizekelo yenqanaba loxinzelelo
  
• Inqanaba 5: Ukwamkelwa
• Imizekelo yenqanaba lokwamkelwa
  
• Amanqanaba asixhenxe osizi
• Ukuthatha
• Ezi zixhobo zinokuba luncedo:
  

Ushwankathelo

Intlungu iyindalo iphela. Ngexesha elithile ebomini bomntu wonke, kuya kubakho ubuncinci ukuhlangana kunye nentlungu. Isenokuba kukusweleka kothandekayo, ukuphulukana nomsebenzi, ukuphela kobudlelwane, okanye naluphi na olunye utshintsho olutshintsha ubomi njengoko ubazi.

Intlungu ikwangokobuqu. Ayicocekanga kakhulu okanye ayimigca. Ayilandeli naliphi na ixesha okanye iishedyuli. Ungakhala, ube nomsindo, urhoxe, uzive ungenanto. Akukho nanye kwezi zinto engaqhelekanga okanye engalunganga. Wonke umntu ukhathazeka ngendlela eyahlukileyo, kodwa kukho izinto eziqhelekileyo kumanqanaba kunye nocwangco lweemvakalelo ezifunyanwa ngexesha losizi.

Zivela phi izigaba zentlungu?

Ngo-1969, ugqirha wengqondo waseSwitzerland-Merika ogama linguElizabeth Kübler-Ross wabhala kwincwadi yakhe ethi “On Death and Dying” ukuba usizi lungahlulwa lube ngamanqanaba amahlanu. Ukuqwalaselwa kwakhe kwavela kwiminyaka yokusebenza nabantu abagulela ukufa.

Ingcamango yakhe yentlungu yaziwa ngokuba ngumzekelo waseKübler-Ross. Ngelixa kwasekuqaleni kwakucetyelwe abantu abagulayo, la manqanaba osizi aye aguqulelwa amanye amava okulahleka, nawo.

Amanqanaba amahlanu osizi angaziwa kakhulu, kodwa kukude kuphela kwizigaba ezithandwayo zethiyori yosizi. Zininzi ezinye zikhona ngokunjalo, kubandakanya ezinezigaba ezisixhenxe kwaye ezinye zinamabini nje.

Ngaba usizi lusoloko lulandelelana ngokulandelelana kwamanqanaba?

Amanqanaba amahlanu osizi ngala:

• ukukhanyela
• umsindo
• Ingxoxo
• ukudakumba
• ukwamkelwa

Ayinguye wonke umntu oya kuva kuwo onke amanqanaba amahlanu, kwaye ngekhe ungadluli kuwo ngolu hlobo.

Intlungu yahlukile kuye wonke umntu, ke ungaqala ukumelana nelahleko kwinqanaba leengxoxo kwaye ufumane ukuba unomsindo okanye uphika ngokulandelayo. Unokuhlala iinyanga kwelinye lamanqanaba amahlanu kodwa weqe abanye ngokupheleleyo.

Inqanaba 1: Ukuphika

Intlungu yimvakalelo engathethekiyo. Akuqhelekanga ukuphendula kwiimvakalelo ezinzulu kwaye eziqhelekileyo ngokukhawuleza ngokuzenza ngathi ilahleko okanye utshintsho alwenzeki. Ukuyikhanyela kukunika ixesha lokufumana iindaba ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye uqalise ukuzilungisa. Le yindlela eqhelekileyo yokuzikhusela kwaye inceda ukuba ubenamandla okuqina kwimeko leyo.

Njengoko uphuma kwinqanaba lokukhanyela, nangona kunjalo, iimvakalelo obuzifihlile ziya kuqala ukunyuka. Uya kujongana nosizi oluninzi olukhanyele. Leyo yinxalenye yohambo losizi, kodwa kunokuba nzima.

Imizekelo yenqanaba lokukhanyela

• Ukwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato: “Bacaphukile. Le nto izakugqitywa ngomso. ”
• Ukuphulukana nomsebenzi: “Bebephazama. Baza kutsalela umnxeba ngomso bathi bayandifuna. ”
• Ukusweleka komntu omthandayo: “Akamkanga. Uza kuza ekoneni nakuphi na umzuzwana. ”
• Ukuxilongwa kokugula okungapheliyo: “Oku akwenzeki kum. Iziphumo azilunganga. ”

Inqanaba 2: Umsindo

Apho ukwala kunokuthathwa njengesixhobo sokulwa, umsindo sisiphumo sokufihla. Umsindo ufihla iimvakalelo ezininzi kunye neentlungu ozithweleyo. Lo msindo unokuphinda uqondiswe kwabanye abantu, njengomntu oswelekileyo, umntu wakudala okanye umphathi wakho wakudala. Usenokujolisa umsindo wakho kwizinto ezingaphili.

Ngelixa ingqondo yakho yobuchule isazi ukuba into yomsindo wakho ayikusola, iimvakalelo zakho ngalo mzuzu zinzima kakhulu ukuba ungaziva.

Umsindo ungazifihla kwiimvakalelo ezinjengobukrakra okanye ingqumbo. Isenokungabi ngumsindo ocacileyo okanye ingqumbo. Ayinguye wonke umntu oya kuthi afumane eli nqanaba, kwaye abanye banokuhlala apha. Njengokuba umsindo udamba, nangona kunjalo, ungaqala ukucinga ngokwengqiqo ngakumbi malunga noko kwenzekayo kwaye uzive iimvakalelo ubuzityhalela ecaleni.

Imizekelo yenqanaba lomsindo

• Ukwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato: “Ndimthiyile! Uya kuzisola ngokundishiya! ”
• Ukuphulukana nomsebenzi: “Bangabaphathi aboyikekayo. Ndiyathemba ukuba bayasilela. ”
• Ukusweleka kothandekayo: "Ukuba ebezikhathalele ngakumbi, ngekhe kwenzeke."
• Ukuxilongwa sisifo esibulalayo: “Uphi uThixo koku? UThixo angayenza njani le nto yenzeke! ”

Inqanaba 3: Ukuxoxa

Ngexesha lentlungu, unokuziva usengozini kwaye ungenakuzinceda. Kule mizuzu yeemvakalelo ezinzulu, akuqhelekanga ukujonga iindlela zokuphinda ufumane ulawulo okanye ukuziva ngathi ungasichaphazela isiphumo somsitho. Kwinqanaba leengxoxo lentlungu, ungazifumana udala okuninzi "uthini ukuba" kwaye "ukuba nje" iingxelo.

Akuqhelekanga ukuba abantu bezenkolo bazame ukwenza isivumelwano okanye bathembise uThixo okanye amandla aphezulu ngokubuyisela ukuphilisa okanye ukukhulula kwintlungu nentlungu. Ukuxoxisana ngumgca wokuzikhusela kwiimvakalelo zosizi. Kuyanceda ukuba uhlehlise usizi, ukudideka, okanye ukwenzakala.

Imizekelo yenqanaba leengxoxo

• Ukwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato: “Ukuba bendichithe ixesha elininzi kunye naye, ngewayesehleli.”
• Ukuphulukana nomsebenzi: “Ukuba bendisebenza ngaphezulu kuphela ngeempelaveki, ngebabeyibonile indlela endixabiseke ngayo.”
• Ukusweleka kothandekayo: "Ukuba bendimfowunele ngobo busuku, ngekhe ahambe."
• Ukuxilongwa sisifo esibulalayo: “Ukuba nje besinokuya kwangoko kwagqirha, ngekuyekile oko.”

Inqanaba 4: Uxinzelelo

Ngelixa umsindo kunye nokuxoxisana kunokuziva ngathi "kuyasebenza", uxinzelelo lunokuziva ngathi "yindawo ethe cwaka" yosizi.

Kumanqanaba okuqala okuphulukana, unokuba ubaleka kwiimvakalelo, uzama ukuhlala inyathelo eliphambi kwabo. Ngeli nqanaba, nangona kunjalo, unokukwazi ukwamkela kwaye usebenze ngendlela enempilo. Unokukhetha ukuzahlula kwabanye ukuze ukwazi ukujongana ngokupheleleyo nelahleko.

Oko akuthethi, nangona kunjalo, ukuba ukudakumba kulula okanye kuchazwe kakuhle. Njengamanye amanqanaba osizi, uxinzelelo kunokuba nzima kwaye lube lubi. Ingaziva ingaphaya. Unokuziva unenkungu, unzima kwaye udidekile.

Uxinzelelo kunokuziva ngathi yindawo yokufika engenakuphepheka yayo nayiphi na ilahleko. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uziva unamathele apha okanye kubonakala ngathi awudluli kweli nqanaba losizi, thetha nengcali yezempilo yengqondo. Unyango unokukunceda usebenze ngeli xesha lokujongana.

Imizekelo yenqanaba loxinzelelo

• Ukwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato: “Kutheni uqhubeka nje?”
• Ukuphulukana nomsebenzi: "Andazi ukuba ndiza kuhamba njani ukusuka apha."
• Ukusweleka kothandekayo: “Ndiyintoni ngaphandle kwakhe?”
• Ukuxilongwa sisifo esinganyangekiyo: “Ubomi bam bonke bufikelela kwesi siphelo sibi.”

Inqanaba 5: Ukwamkelwa

Ukwamkelwa ayisosigaba sonwabe esiphakamisayo. Ayithethi ukuba udlulile kwintlungu okanye ilahleko. Kodwa, oko kuthetha ukuba uyamkele kwaye uye wakuqonda ukuba kuthetha ntoni ebomini bakho ngoku.

Unokuziva wahluke kakhulu kweli nqanaba. Oko kulindeleke ngokupheleleyo. Unotshintsho olukhulu ebomini bakho, kwaye oko kunyusa indlela oziva ngayo ngezinto ezininzi. Jonga ukwamkelwa njengendlela yokubona ukuba kunokubakho iintsuku ezintle kunokubi, kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba kubi - kwaye kulungile.

Imizekelo yenqanaba lokwamkelwa

• Ukwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato: "Ekugqibeleni, olu yayilukhetho olufanelekileyo kum."
• Ukuphulukana nomsebenzi: "Ndiza kukwazi ukufumana indlela eya phambili kwaye ndingaqala indlela entsha."
• Ukusweleka komntu omthandayo: “Ndinethamsanqa ukuba ndineminyaka emnandi kunye naye, kwaye uyakuhlala endikhumbula.”
• Ukufunyaniswa kwesigulo esinganyangekiyo: “Ndinethuba lokubopha izinto kwaye ndiqiniseke ukuba ndenza into endiyifunayo kwezi veki neenyanga zokugqibela.”

Amanqanaba asixhenxe osizi

Amanqanaba asixhenxe osizi yenye yemodeli eyaziwayo yokuchaza amava amaninzi anzima okuphulukana nelahleko. Ezi zigaba zisixhenxe zibandakanya:

• Umothuko kunye nokukhanyela. Le yimeko yokungakholelwa kunye neemvakalelo ezibuthathaka.
• Intlungu kunye netyala. Unokuziva ukuba ilahleko ayinakubekezeleka kwaye wenza ubomi babanye abantu bube nzima ngenxa yeemvakalelo zakho kunye neemfuno zakho.
• Umsindo kunye nengxoxo. Ungangxola, uxelele uThixo okanye amandla aphezulu ukuba uya kwenza nantoni na abayicelayo ukuba baya kukunika kuphela ukukhululeka kwezi mvakalelo.
• Uxinzelelo. Eli inokuba lixesha lokuba wedwa kunye nesizungu apho uqhubekeka kwaye ucinge ngelahleko.
• Ithuba eliya phezulu. Okwangoku, amanqanaba osizi njengomsindo kunye nentlungu sele ewile, kwaye ushiyekile kwimeko ezolileyo kwaye ekhululekile.
• Ukwakhiwa ngokutsha nokusebenza. Ungaqala ukubeka iziqwenga zobomi bakho kunye kwaye uqhubeke phambili.
• Ukwamkelwa kunye nethemba. Oku kukwamkela ngokuthe ngcembe kwindlela entsha yobomi kunye nemvakalelo yokuba kunokwenzeka kwixesha elizayo.

Njengomzekelo, oku kunokuba ngumboniso wamanqanaba oqhawulo-mtshato okanye oqhawulo-mtshato:

• Umothuko kunye nokukhanyela: "Ngokuqinisekileyo ngekhe ayenze lento kum. Uyakuqonda ukuba akalunganga kwaye uza kubuya apha ngomso. ”
• Intlungu kunye netyala: “Angayenza njani le nto kum? Uzingca kangakanani? Ndiyimoshe njani le nto? ”
• Umsindo nokuxoxisana: “Ukuba angaphinda andinike elinye ithuba, ndiza kuba ngumfana olunge ngakumbi. Ndiza kumnika yonke into ayicelayo. ”
• Uxinzelelo: "Andisoze ndiphinde ndibenobunye ubudlelwane. Ndizimisele ukusilela wonke umntu. ”
• Ukuya phezulu: “Isiphelo besinzima, kodwa kungakho indawo kwindawo apho ndingazibona ndikwelinye ubudlelwane.”
• Ukwakha ngokutsha nokusebenza: "Ndidinga ukuvavanya olo lwalamano kwaye ndifunde kwiimpazamo zam."
• Ukwamkelwa kunye nethemba: “Ndinokunika omnye umntu into eninzi. Kufuneka nje ndidibane nabo. ”

Ukuthatha

Isitshixo sokuqonda usizi kukuqonda ukuba akukho mntu ufumana into efanayo. Usizi lolwabantu, kwaye ungaziva into eyahlukileyo ngalo lonke ixesha. Unokufuna iiveki ezininzi, okanye usizi lunokuba lude iminyaka.

Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna uncedo lokujongana neemvakalelo kunye notshintsho, ingcali yezempilo yengqondo sisixhobo esilungileyo sokuvavanya iimvakalelo zakho kunye nokufumana imeko yokuqiniseka kwezi mvakalelo zinzima kwaye zinzima.

Ezi zixhobo zinokuba luncedo:

• Inombolo yoxinzelelo yoxinzelelo
• Uthintelo lokuBulala
• Umbutho weSizwe weZonyango kunye noKhathalelo lokunyanga