Ukuyeka njani ukuxinezeleka kwabutshintsha obu Bomi boMfazi Ngonaphakade

Umxholo

• Ubudlelwane bam neMeds
• Ubomi beNtlalo obunempilo
• Indawo yoTshintsho
• Ubomi emva koNyango
• Uphengululo lwe

Amayeza ebeyinxalenye yobomi bam kangangexesha elide ndikhumbula. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiba ngathi ndazalwa ndibuhlungu. Ukukhula, ukuqonda iimvakalelo zam kwakungumzabalazo oqhubekayo. Umsindo wam ongaguqukiyo kunye nokuguquguquka kwemeko okukhokelela kuvavanyo lwe-ADHD, ukudakumba, ukuxhalaba-uyayibiza. Ekugqibeleni, kwibanga lesibini, kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndinesifo esiyibipolar ndaza ndanikwa iAbilify, i-antipsychotic.

Ukususela ngoko, ubomi buyinkungu. Ngokungenangqondo, ndizamile ukutyhala ezo nkumbulo ecaleni. Kodwa bendihlala ndingena ndinyango kwaye bendihlala ndizama unyango. Nokuba umcimbi wam wawumkhulu okanye umncinci kangakanani, iipilisi zaziyimpendulo.

Ubudlelwane bam neMeds

Njengomntwana, uyathemba ukuba abantu abadala abaphetheyo baya kukunyamekela. Ndiye ndanomkhwa wokunikezela ngobomi bam kwabanye abantu, ngethemba lokuba ngandlel 'ithile baya kundilungisa kwaye ngenye imini ndiza kuziva ndibhetele. Kodwa khange bandilungise-zange ndaziva ndingcono. (Fumanisa indlela yokuqonda phakathi koxinzelelo, ukudinwa, kunye noxinzelelo.)

Ubomi buhlala bufana ngakumbi esikolweni esiphakathi kunye nesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo. Ndiye ndayeka ukuba lulusu kakhulu ndaza ndatyeba kakhulu, nto leyo esisiphumo secala lamayeza endandikuwo. Kangangeminyaka, bendiqhubeka nditshintsha phakathi kweepilisi ezine okanye ezintlanu ezahlukeneyo. Ndikunye no-Abilify, ndandikwaLamictal (iyeza elichasayo elinceda ukunyanga i-bipolar disorder), iProzac (i-antidepressant), kunye ne-Trileptal (neyeza elichasayo lokuxhuzula elinceda kwi-bipolarism), phakathi kwabanye. Kwakubakho amaxesha ndandisebenzisa ipilisi enye. Kodwa ubukhulu becala, baye badityaniswa kunye, njengoko babezama ukufumana indibaniselwano kunye needosi ezisebenza ngcono.

Iipilisi zazinceda ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa iziphumo azizange zihlale. Ekugqibeleni, ndandiziva ndidandatheke kakhulu, ndingenathemba, yaye ngamanye amaxesha ndandifuna ukuzibulala. Kwakunzima kum ukuba ndifumane ukuxilongwa okucacileyo kwe-bipolar: Ezinye iingcali zathi ndine-bipolar ngaphandle kwee-manic episodes. Ngamanye amaxesha ibiluxinzelelo lwedysthymic (ukudakumba kabini), oluludakumba olungapheliyo oluhamba neempawu zoxinzelelo lwezonyango njengamandla aphantsi kunye nokungazithembi. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha yayiyimida yomda wobuntu. Abanyangi abahlanu kunye noogqirha abathathu bengqondo-kwaye akukho mntu unokufumana into abavumelana ngayo. (Idibeneyo: Le yiBongo yakho kwiXinzelelo)

Ngaphambi kokuba ndiqalise ikholeji, ndathatha unyaka we-gap kwaye ndasebenza kwivenkile yokuthengisa kwidolophu yasekhaya. Kulapho izinto ziye zatshintsha kakhulu. Ndatshona nzulu kudandatheko lwam kunanini na ngaphambili ndaza ndaphelela kwinkqubo yokulaliswa kwezigulana apho ndahlala iveki yonke.

Ndandiqala ukujongana nonyango olunzulu ngolu hlobo. Inyaniso mayixelwe, andifumananga lukhulu kumava.

Ubomi beNtlalo obunempilo

Iinkqubo ezimbini zonyango kunye nokulaliswa esibhedlele okufutshane kamva, ndiye ndaqala ukuza kwezam ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndifuna ukudubula ikholeji. Ndaqala kwiYunivesithi yaseQuinnipiac eConnecticut kodwa ngokukhawuleza ndaqonda ukuba i-vibe yayingekho kum. Ke ndatshintshela kwiDyunivesithi yaseNew Hampshire apho ndafakwa kwindlu egcwele ulonwabo kwaye isamkela amantombazana endithatha phantsi kwephiko lawo. (P.S. Ngaba ubusazi ukuba ulonwabo lwakho lunokunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwabahlobo bakho?)

Ngethuba lokuqala, ndakhula ubomi obusempilweni. Abahlobo bam abatsha bebenolwazi oluncinci ngobomi bam bangaphambili, kodwa khange bandichaze ngalo, nto leyo indincedileyo ndazenza mntu omtsha. Ngokujonga emva, eli ibilinyathelo lokuqala lokuziva ubhetele. Ndandiqhuba kakuhle nasesikolweni kwaye ndaqala ukuphuma ndaya ndaqala ukusela.

Ulwalamano lwam notywala lwalungekho ngaphambili. Ngokuphandle, ndandingazi nokuba ndinomlutha na okanye akunjalo, ke ukubhengeza kuloo nto okanye naluphi na olunye uhlobo lweziyobisi kwakungabonakali ngathi kububulumko. Kodwa ukungqongwa yinkqubo yenkxaso eqinileyo, ndaziva ndikhululekile ukuyinika. Kodwa ngalo lonke ixesha ndifumana iglasi enye yewayini, bendivuka ndinomvandedwa, ngamanye amaxesha ndigabhe kakhulu.

Xa ndabuza ugqirha wam ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo leyo, ndaxelelwa ukuba utywala abuxubeki kakuhle nelinye lonyango ebendikulo kwaye ukuba ndifuna ukusela, kuya kufuneka ndiphume kula pilisi.

Indawo yoTshintsho

Le nkcazelo yayiyintsikelelo ngokufihlakeleyo. Ngelixa ndingasaseli, ngelo xesha, ndaziva ngathi yinto endincedayo kubomi bam boluntu, obabubonakala bubalulekile kwimpilo yam yengqondo. Ke ndaye ndaya kugqirha wengqondo ndaza ndabuza ukuba andikwazi na ukukhupha ipilisi enye. Ndacetyiswa ukuba ndiza kuziva ndibuhlungu ngaphandle kwayo, kodwa ndalinganisa ubunzima kwaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiza kuphuma kuwo. (Eyeleleneyo: Iindlela ezili-9 zokulwa nokudakumba-Ngaphandle kokuThatha ii-Antidepressants)

Eli yayilixesha lokuqala ebomini bam ukuba ndenze isigqibo ngokunxulumene namayeza ndim kwaye ye ngokwam-kwaye ndaziva ndihlaziywa. Ngosuku olulandelayo, ndaqala ukulumla ipilisi, indlela elungileyo kwisithuba seenyanga ezimbalwa. Kwaye kwamangalisa wonke umntu, ndaziva ndichasene nale nto ndandiyixelelwa ukuba ndiza kuvakalelwa. Endaweni yokubuyela kuxinzelelo, ndaziva ndibhetele, ndinamandla kwaye ndithanda ngakumbi ngokwam.

Ke, emva kokuthetha noogqirha bam, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndingazisebenzisi kwaphela iipilisi.Ngelixa oku kusenokungabi yimpendulo kuye wonke umntu, kuvakala ngathi lolona khetho lufanelekileyo kum xa ndicinga ukuba bendihlala ndinyangwa kule minyaka ili-15 idlulileyo. Ndandifuna nje ukwazi ukuba kuya kuvakala njani ukuba yonke into iphumile kwinkqubo yam.

Ndothuka (kunye nawo wonke umntu). Ndaziva ndiphila ngakumbi kwaye ndilawula iimvakalelo zam yonke imihla edlulayo. Ngeli xesha ndandikwiveki yokugqibela yokuncanca, ndaziva ngathi kususwe ilifu elimnyama kum kwaye okokuqala ebomini bam, ndandibona ngokucacileyo. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela kodwa kwiiveki ezimbini, ndehla ngeekhilogram ezingama-20 ngaphandle kokutshintsha indlela enditya ngayo okanye ndisebenze ngakumbi.

Oko akutsho ngokukhawuleza yonke into yayigqibelele. Bendisaya kwi therapy. Kodwa yayikukhetho, hayi kuba yayiyinto emiselweyo okanye inyanzelwe kum. Ngapha koko, unyango yeyona nto indincedileyo ukuba ndiphinde ndibuyele ebomini njengomntu owonwabileyo. Kuba masibe yinyani, bendingenalo nofifi lokuba ndisebenza kanjani ngoluhlobo.

Kunyaka olandelayo yayiluhambo lwalo. Emva kwalo lonke eli xesha, ndaziva ndonwabile-ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba apho ndandicinga ukuba ubomi abunakuthinteleka. Unyango yeyona nto yandinceda ukuba ndilungelelanise iimvakalelo zam kwaye indikhumbuze ukuba ubomi buza kuba nemingeni kwaye yinto ekufuneka ndiyilungiselele.

Ubomi emva koNyango

Emva kokuphumelela ekholejini, ndaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndiphume e-New England kwaye ndiye eCalifornia enelanga ukuze ndiqalise isahluko esitsha. Ukusukela ngoko, ndiye ndangena kakhulu ekutyeni okusempilweni kwaye ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke ukusela. Ndenza nomzamo oqinisekileyo wokuchitha ixesha elininzi kangangoko ndinakho ngaphandle kwaye ndithandana neyoga kunye nokucamngca. Ngokubanzi, ndilahlekile malunga neepawundi ezingama-85 kwaye ndiziva ndiphilile kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bam. Kungekudala kakhulu ndaye ndaqala ibhlog ebizwa ngokuba Bona iSparkly Lifestyle, apho ndibhala khona iinxalenye zohambo lwam lokunceda abanye abaye badlula kwizinto ezifanayo. (Ngaba uyazi, isayensi ithi indibaniselwano yokuzivocavoca kunye nokucamngca inokusebenza ngcono kune-anti-depressants?)

Ubomi busenamahla ndenyuka. Umntakwethu, owayethetha ngehlabathi kum, wasweleka kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo ngenxa yeleukemia. Oku kwathatha umthwalo onzima ngokweemvakalelo. Usapho lwam lucinga ukuba le inokuba yeyona nto inokubangela ukonakala, kodwa ayikhange ibenjalo.

Ndichithe iminyaka embalwa edlulileyo ndisakha imikhwa esempilweni yokujamelana neemvakalelo zam kwaye oku bekungafaniyo. Ngaba ndandibuhlungu? Ewe. Kubuhlungu. Kodwa ngaba ndandidandathekile? Hayi. Ukuphulukana nomntakwethu kwakuyinxalenye yobomi, kwaye ngelixa kwakungaziva kufanelekile, kwakungekho ngaphandle kolawulo lwam kwaye ndandizifundisile ukuba ndizamkele njani ezo meko. Ukukwazi ukutyhala okudlulileyo okwenze ukuba ndiqonde ubungakanani bamandla am amatsha engqondo kwaye wandiqinisekisa ukuba akukho mntu ubuyela kwindlela izinto ezazikuyo.

Kude kube namhla, andiqinisekanga ukuba ukuyeka amayeza am kuko okwakhokelela ekubeni ndibe kule ndawo ndikuyo namhlanje. Enyanisweni, ndicinga ukuba kuya kuba yingozi ukuthi sisisombululo, kuba kukho abantu abaphaya isidingo la machiza kwaye akukho mntu kufanele ukuba angakuhoyi oko. Ngubani owaziyo? Ngendisasokola namhlanje ukuba bendingekho kwezo pilisi kuyo yonke loo minyaka.

Kwaye kum ngokwam, ukuyeka iyeza kwakumalunga nokulawula ubomi bam okokuqala. Ndithathe umngcipheko, ngokuqinisekileyo, kwaye kwenzeka ukuba isebenze ngokuthanda kwam. Koda mna yenza uzive ngathi kukho into ethethwayo ngokumamela umzimba wakho kwaye ufunde ukuhambelana nawe ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni. Ukuziva ulusizi okanye ngaphandle kohlobo ngamanye amaxesha yinxalenye yentsingiselo yokuba ngumntu. Ithemba lam lelokuba nabani na ofunda ibali lam ubuncinci uyakuthathela ingqalelo ajonge kwezinye iindlela zoncedo. Ingqondo nentliziyo yakho zinokukubulela ngako.

Uphengululo lwe