Kuthetha Ukuthini UkuBanjwa yindlala?

Umxholo

• Yintoni?
• Yima, yinto yokwenene leyo?
• Ngaba isebenza kuphela kukuchukumisa inkanuko?
• Kutheni le nto ukuchukumisa kubalulekile?
• Wazi njani ukuba uchukumisekile yindlala?
• Ungathini ukuba awukuthandi ngokukodwa ukuchukunyiswa - ngaba usengachukunyiswa yindlala?
• Yintoni onokuyenza ukunceda ukwanelisa lo mnqweno?
• Yintoni onokuyenza ukukhuthaza uthando ngothando kwimihla yakho yemihla ngemihla?
• Eyakho
• Kwabathandekayo bakho
• Umgca wezantsi

Yintoni?

Abantu banqwenela ukuba bachukunyiswe. Ukususela ekuzalweni kude kube ngumhla wokufa kwethu, imfuno yethu yokunxibelelana nomzimba ihlala ihleli.

Ukubanjwa yindlala- okwaziwa ngokuba kukulamba kwesikhumba okanye ukuthintelwa kokuchukumisa- kwenzeka xa umntu efumana into encinci ngaphandle kokuchukumisa kwezinye izinto eziphilayo.

Yima, yinto yokwenene leyo?

Kanjalo. Imeko ibonakala ixhaphake kakhulu kumazwe aya esiba ngokucinezela ngakumbi.

Umzekelo, i-France yafunyanwa njengeyona ndawo ichukumisayo, ngelixa i-United States yabonakala isezantsi koluhlu.

Nokuba oku kungenxa yokunyuka kokusetyenziswa kwetekhnoloji, uloyiko lokuchukumisa lujongwa njengolungalunganga, okanye izinto ezilula zenkcubeko, akukho mntu uqinisekileyo.

Kodwa uphononongo lufumanise ukuba ukuphoswa kukuchukumiseka komntu rhoqo kunokuba neziphumo ezibi kwaye ezihlala ixesha elide.

Ngaba isebenza kuphela kukuchukumisa inkanuko?

Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo. Nawuphi na kwaye konke okuchukumisayo kuthathwa njengoncedo. Ukuphulukana nokuxhawulwa emsebenzini, ukwangana ngobubele, okanye ukubethwa ngasemva kunokubangela iimvakalelo zokulamba.

Ewe kunjalo, inxulumene nokuchukumisa ngokwenyama, njengokubamba izandla, ukukrwela ngasemva, kunye nokuthambisa iinyawo, nako.

Kodwa oosonzululwazi bafumanise ukuba isiphelo semithambo-luvo, esibiziweyo, sikhona ukusiqonda nayiphi na uhlobo lokuphatha ngobunono.

Ngapha koko, ngophando luka-2017, oku kuphakathi kweesentimitha ezi-3 ukuya kwezi-5 ngomzuzwana.

Oku kukhupha i-oxytocin, ekwabizwa ngokuba yi "love hormone."

Kutheni le nto ukuchukumisa kubalulekile?

Ukunxibelelana nolusu nolusu kubalulekile kungekuphela nje impilo yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo, kodwa impilo yomzimba, nayo.

Xa uziva unekhephu phantsi okanye uxinzelelekile, umzimba ukhupha i-hormone yoxinzelelo yecortisol. Enye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo onokuzenza kukuxinezeleka, ukuvumela amajoni omzimba ukuba asebenze ngendlela efaneleke ngayo.

Ukuchukumisa nako kunako, okufana nokubetha kwentliziyo yakho kunye noxinzelelo lwegazi.

Ikwenza oko ngokukhuthaza ii-receptors zoxinzelelo ezihambisa imiqondiso kwi-vagus nerve. Le luvo ludibanisa ingqondo nomzimba wonke. Isebenzisa imiqondiso ukuthoba isantya senkqubo yemithambo-luvo.

Kubomi bokuqala, ukuchukumisa kucingelwa ukuba kubalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunempilo ngokukhuthaza iindlela ze-oxytocin, i-serotonin yendalo yoxinzelelo, kunye ne-chemical chemical dopamine.

Kwaye ukujongana nesizungu. Kwanokuthamba ngokuthambileyo kumntu ongamaziyo kufuneka kunciphise iimvakalelo zokukhethelwa eluntwini.

Wazi njani ukuba uchukumisekile yindlala?

Akukho ndlela iqinisekileyo yokwazi. Kodwa ngamafutshane, unokuziva ulilolo ngokungathethekiyo okanye uphulukane nothando.

Ezi mpawu zinokudityaniswa kunye:

• iimvakalelo zokudakumba
• ixhala
• uxinzelelo
• ulwalamano oluphantsi ukwaneliseka
• ubunzima bokulala
• umkhwa wokuphepha ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo

Unokwazi ukwenza izinto ukulingisa ukubamba, njengokuthatha ixesha elide, iibhafu ezishushu okanye iishawa, ukusonga iingubo, nokubamba isilwanyana.

Ungathini ukuba awukuthandi ngokukodwa ukuchukunyiswa - ngaba usengachukunyiswa yindlala?

Abanye abantu banxibelelana ngokusondeleyo nokuthembana. Ukuba abamthembi umntu, akunakulindeleka ukuba bafune loo mntu angabachukumisa. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba abazilangazeleli izibonelelo zokuwolana okanye ukuxhawulana.

Ukungathandi ukubamba ngamanye amaxesha kuxelwa ngabantu kwi-neurodiverse spectrum kunye nabo bachonga njenge-asexual.

Kodwa inokuba sisiphumo samava abantwana. Ngo-2012, uphononongo olupapashwe kwiComprehensive Psychology yafumanisa ukuba abantu abanabazali abahlala besangana ngokufuthi babekwazi ukubanga abantu abadala.

Ukusilela ukufumana ukubonwa okuhle rhoqo njengomntwana kunokuchaphazela kwaye, konakalise ukusondelelana kunye nezakhono zentlalo- nangona oku kungeyonyani kuye wonke umntu.

Yintoni onokuyenza ukunceda ukwanelisa lo mnqweno?

Indlala yokuthinta akufuneki ihlale ngonaphakade. Nazi ezinye zeendlela ezilula zokwamkela uthando ngakumbi kubomi bakho ngoku:

• Zama ukuphulula. Nokuba ubuza umntu omthandayo okanye undwendwele ingcali, ukuthambisa yindlela eqinisekisiweyo yokuphumla kunye nokonwabela izibonelelo zokuchukumisa komnye umntu.
• Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nezilwanyana. Ngokufuthi bonwabile kakhulu kukuwolana, izilwanyana zasekhaya zezona ndlela zilungileyo zokuthomalalisa. Ukuba awunayo, kutheni ungatyeleli ikhefi yekati?
• Yenza iinzipho zakho. Ukungahoywa ngokulula, i-manicure okanye i-pedicure iya kukunika unxibelelwano lomntu olifunayo, kunye nembonakalo entsha yokuqalisa.
• Ndwendwela indawo yokwenza iinwele. Ukuba awukuthandi ukusikwa, zibhukele indawo yokuhlamba kunye neyomileyo ukuze uphumle okokugqibela.
• Funda ukudanisa. Imidaniso ethile efana netango ayisebenzi ngaphandle kokudibana nolusu nolusu. Awuzukuphelisa ukuphela kwendlala yakho yokuthintela, uya kuthatha isakhono esitsha.
• Yiya ethekweni. Ewe, ezi ziyinyani. Kwaye hayi, aziqhelekanga njengoko zivakala. Ukuba ukunxulumana ngelixa ugonene ayisiyakho, zama ukufaka uncedo lwe-cuddler yobuchwephesha endaweni yoko.

Yintoni onokuyenza ukukhuthaza uthando ngothando kwimihla yakho yemihla ngemihla?

Uyayazi indlela yokunciphisa imvakalelo yokulamba-ulambile ngexesha elifutshane, kodwa uthini malunga nexesha elide?

Ukugcina ukubanjwa rhoqo kulula kakhulu ukuba uyakukhuthaza kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa.

Eyakho

• Hlala kufutshane nabantu obathandayo. Endaweni yokusasazeka esofeni, yenza umgudu wokukhwela ngexesha lokuphamba kweNetflix.
• Bulisa abantu ngokuxhawula okanye ukwanga. Ngokucacileyo, musa ukutyhala omnye umntu ngaphandle kwendawo yabo yokuthuthuzela.
• Hug abantu ubuncinci imizuzwana engama-20. Kuthiwa le yindawo apho abantu bekhupha i-oxytocin. Ukuba ukhathazekile i-hug yakho ayinakubuyiselwa, buza abantu ukuba bangathanda ukwabelana nge-hug endaweni yokungena ngokuzenzekelayo.
• Sebenzisa ukuchukumisa nanini na kufanelekile. Ukuvuleleka ekuchukumiseni kuya kukhuthaza abanye ukuba bayinike. Kubudlelwane bothando, bamba izandla okanye ubambane. Kwiiplonic, qinisekisa abantu ngokubamba ingalo okanye ukubamba ngasemva. Kwakhona, qiniseka ukuba abanye abantu bakhululekile ngaphambi kokuba baqhubeke.

Kwabathandekayo bakho

• Banike uninzi lweempawu ezintle. Oku kunokubakho ukusuka kwimivumbo emincinci ukuya kukugcwala ngokuzeleyo amaxesha ambalwa ngemini.
• Kuphephe ukunxibelelana nokunxibelelana nokungakhathali. Sukucofa okanye ukutyhala okanye wenze nantoni na ethatha imvakalelo yokuva kamnandi yokunxibelelana komzimba.
• Vumela abantwana basondele kuwe rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba ahlale ethangeni lakho okanye amthambise ngobunono umntwana wakho kunokubangela ukuba baziphathe ngendlela efanayo ebomini kamva.

Umgca wezantsi

Ukuba uziva uchukunyiswa yindlala, awulitywinanga ikamva lakho. Zininzi iindlela zokubetha le meko kunye nokukhuthaza ukubamba okuhle, nothando kwabo bakungqongileyo.

ULauren Sharkey yintatheli kunye nombhali ogxile kwimicimbi yabasetyhini. Xa engazami ukufumanisa indlela yokugxotha i-migraines, unokufunyanwa etyhila iimpendulo kwimibuzo yakho yezempilo elahlekileyo. Ukwabhale incwadi echaza ngamatshantliziyo amatsha kwihlabathi liphela kwaye ngoku uyakha indawo yabahlali. Mbambe Twitter.