Yomelela!

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Abafazi ababini abenza umsebenzi ofanayo bayagxothwa emisebenzini yabo. Ishishini labo liye lathwaxwa kanobom ziingxaki zezoqoqosho, yaye ithemba labo lokufumana izikhundla ezitsha limbalwa. Banemfundo efanayo, iimbali zomsebenzi kunye namava omsebenzi. Unokucinga ukuba banokuba nethuba elifanayo lokuma ngeenyawo, kodwa abakwenzi: Emva konyaka, omnye akaphangeli, wophukile kwaye unomsindo, ngelixa elinye liye lavela kwicala elitsha ngokupheleleyo. Khange kube lula, kwaye akafumani mali ingako njengoko ebesenza emsebenzini wakhe wakudala. Kodwa wonwabile kwaye unethemba kwaye ujonge emva ekubuyeni kwakhe njengethuba elingalindelekanga lokulandela indlela entsha ebomini.

Sonke siyibonile: Xa kuvela ubunzima, abanye abantu bayachuma, ngelixa abanye bewa bodwa. Yintoni ebeka abo basindileyo ngaphandle kukomelela kwabo-ukukwazi ukunyamezela nokuba baphumelele phantsi kweemeko zoxinzelelo. "Abanye abantu bayakwazi ukuphakama baye kulo msitho," utshilo uRoberta R. Greene, Ph.D., unjingalwazi kwezentlalo kwiYunivesithi yaseTexas eAustin kunye nomhleli Ukuqina: Indlela eDityanisiweyo yokuSebenza, uMgaqo-nkqubo, kunye noPhando (Umbutho weSizwe waBasebenzi bezeNtlalontle, 2002). "Xa kuvela ingxaki, baqala ukuhamba ngendlela yokuyicombulula."

Ukomelela kufanelekile ukuhlakulela. Endaweni yokonganyelwa likhefu elinzima, abantu abomeleleyo benza okona kulungileyo kubo. Endaweni yokutyunyuzwa, bayaphumelela. "Ukomelela kukunceda ukuguqula iimeko zoxinzelelo ukusuka kwintlekele ezinokubakho," utshilo uSalvatore R. Maddi, Ph.D., umseki we-Hardiness Institute Inc. eNewport Beach, Calif. Abantu abomeleleyo bayabuphucula ubomi babo kuba bayazilawula Ukuphembelela ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kubo. Bakhetha isenzo kunokuba bangenzi nto, kunye nokuxhotyiswa ngaphezu kokungabi namandla.

Womelele kangakanani? Xa kumnyama, ngaba ubuya kuba phandle, ukhalazela abamelwane bakho, okanye ngaba ubuya kuba uhleli endlwini ugcuma ngendlela izinto ezimbi ezisoloko zisenzeka kuwe? Ukuba ungumntu oncwinayo, kufuneka wazi ukuba ukomelela kunokufundwa. Ngokuqinisekileyo, abanye abantu bazalwa bekwazi ukubuyela umva, kodwa iingcali zithembisa ukuba abo bethu babengekho banokwakha izakhono ezihambisa abantu abomeleleyo ngelixesha linzima.

Zibuze le mibuzo ilandelayo; Okona uphendula u "ewe", kokukhona uyomelela ngakumbi. "Hayi" iimpendulo zibonisa iindawo onokufuna ukusebenza kuzo. Emva koko landela izicwangciso zethu zokusebenza ukwakha ukomelela kwakho.

1. Ngaba ukhulele kwintsapho exhasayo?

"Abantu abomeleleyo banabazali, abantu abayimizekelo kunye nabacebisi ababakhuthazayo ukuba bakholelwe ukuba bangaqhuba kakuhle," utshilo uMaddi. Yena noogxa bakhe bafumanise ukuba abantu abaninzi abomeleleyo (okanye ubulukhuni, njengoko uMaddi eyibiza njalo) bakhule kunye nabazali kunye nabanye abantu abadala babafundisa ubuchule bokujamelana nokunyanzelisa ukuba banamandla okudlula kubomi bobomi. Abantu abadala abomeleleyo bakhule befumana uxinzelelo olufanayo kodwa inkxaso encinci.

Isicwangciso somsebenzi Awunakubutshintsha ubuntwana bakho, kodwa unokuzingqonga ngohlobo olululo "lwentsapho" ngoku. Funa abahlobo abanokukuxhasa, izalamane, abamelwane kunye nabantu osebenza nabo, kwaye ubaphephe abantu abakuphethe kakubi. Xhumana neqela lakho lenkxaso, unika uncedo kunye nenkuthazo rhoqo. Emva koko, xa kufika ubunzima ebomini bakho, baya kubuya babuyele.

2. Uyalwamkela utshintsho?

Nokuba kukuphelelwa ngumsebenzi, ukuqhawuka komtshato okanye ukufudukela kwisixeko esitsha, ezona meko zinzima ebomini zibandakanya utshintsho olukhulu. Ngelixa abantu abangomelelanga kangako behlala bekhathazekile kwaye besongelwa ngotshintsho, abo bomelele kakhulu kunokwenzeka ukuba balwamkele kwaye bazive bonwabile kwaye banomdla ngeemeko ezintsha. Bayazi-kwaye bayamkela--utshintsho yinxalenye eqhelekileyo yobomi, kwaye bajonge iindlela zokuyila zokuziqhelanisa nayo.

"Wonke umntu endimbonayo omelele akasoze ayeke ukuba ngumntwana onomdla wokudlala," utshilo u-Al Siebert, Ph.D., umlawuli weZiko leResiliency ePortland, Ore., Kunye nombhali we Umntu osindileyo: Kutheni abanye abantu bomelele, bekrelekrele, kwaye benobuchule obungakumbi bokujongana nobunzima boBomi ... kwaye unokuba njani, nawe (Iqela laseBerkley lokuPapasha, 1996). "Xa kuvela into entsha, iingqondo zabo zivula ngaphandle."

Isicwangciso sokusebenza Zama ukuba nomdla ngakumbi kwaye uvule utshintsho kwiindlela ezincinci ukuze xa kuvela utshintsho olukhulu, okanye ukhetha ukuzenza, uya kuba wakha amava amnandi. “Abantu abomelele kakhulu babuza imibuzo emininzi, bafuna ukwazi ukuba zisebenza njani izinto,” utshilo uSiebert. "Bayazibuza ngezinto, ukuzama, ukwenza iimpazamo, ukwenzakala, ukuhleka."

Ngokomzekelo, emva kokwahlukana, bathabatha iholide esele beyicebe ixesha elide kunokuba bahlale ekhaya baze banqwenele ukuba ulwalamano lwabo aluphelanga. Ukuba uyadlala kwaye unomdla, kunokwenzeka ukuba usabele kwimeko engafunekiyo ngokuzibuza, "Yintoni ekufuneka ndiyenze ukulungisa le nto? Ndingayisebenzisa njani into eyenzekayo kwinzuzo yam?"

3. Ngaba uyafunda kumava adlulileyo?

Xa esebenza umnxeba wokuzibulala, uRobert Blundo, Ph.D., unontlalontle onelayisensi kunye nonjingalwazi onxulumene naye kwiYunivesithi yaseNorth Carolina eWilmington, ubuza abafowunelwa abanengxaki ukuba bacinge ngendlela abasinde ngayo kwiingxaki ezidlulileyo. Ngokucinga kunye nokufunda kwiimpumelelo zakho zangaphambili, uthi, unokukhomba izakhono kunye nezicwangciso eziya kukunceda unyamezele iingxaki ezintsha. Kukwanjalo nangokungaphumeleli: Ngokujonga iimpazamo zakho zangaphambili, unokufunda ukunqanda ukuzenza kwakhona. "Abantu abaphezulu kubunzima bafunda kakuhle ukusilela," utshilo uMaddi.

Isicwangciso sokusebenza Xa kuvela iimeko ezinzima, zibuze ukuba zeziphi izakhono kunye neendlela zokujongana nendlela obusebenzisa ngayo ukusinda kumaxesha anzima ngaphambili. Uxhaswe yintoni? Ngaba yayikukucela uncedo kumcebisi wokomoya? Yintoni eyakwenza wakwazi ukuhlangabezana nale meko? Ukuhamba ngebhayisekile ezinde? Ukubhala kwijenali yakho? Ukufumana uncedo kunyangi? Kwaye emva kokuba wenze imozulu uqhwithela, hlalutya into eyizisileyo. Yithi ugxothiwe emsebenzini. "Zibuze, 'Sisiphi isifundo apha? Zeziphi izikhokelo zakuqala endizihoyileyo?" Ucebisa uSiebert. Emva koko, jonga indlela onokuthi wayisingatha ngcono ngayo le meko. Mhlawumbi ubunokucela umphathi wakho ukuba afumane uqeqesho olungcono okanye unike ingqwalaselo engaphezulu kuvavanyo lokusebenza olubi. Ukujonga emva ngu-20/20: Yisebenzise!

4. Ngaba uyaluthatha uxanduva ngeengxaki zakho?

Abantu abangenako ukomelela bathambekele ekubeni bacofe iingxaki zabo kwabanye abantu okanye kwiminyhadala engaphandle. Batyhola amaqabane abo ngomtshato ombi, umphathi wabo ngomsebenzi ophantsi, imizila yabo yemfuza ngengxaki yempilo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba umntu wenza into embi kuwe, nguye obekekileyo.Kodwa abantu abanamandla bazama ukuzahlula kumntu okanye isiganeko esibalimazayo kwaye benze umgudu wokuqhubekela phambili. "Ayisiyiyo imeko kodwa yindlela ophendula ngayo ebalulekileyo," utshilo uSiebert. Ukuba ubophelela ukuphila kwakho komnye umntu, ngoko ekuphela kwendlela oya kuziva ubhetele ngayo kukuba umntu okukhubekisileyo ucela uxolo, yaye kwiimeko ezininzi, oko akunakwenzeka. "Ixhoba lisola imeko," utshilo uSiebert. "Umntu owomeleleyo uthatha uxanduva kwaye athi, 'Indlela endiphendula ngayo kule nto ibalulekileyo."

Isicwangciso sokusebenza Endaweni yokucinga ngendlela onokubuyela ngayo emntwini ngenxa yokukukhathaza, zibuze: "Ndingazenza njani izinto zibengcono kum?" Ukuba ukunyuselwa obukufuna ngamandla kuya komnye umntu, musa ukuhlala ekhaya ugxeka umphathi wakho, ubukele umabonwakude kwaye ucinge ngokuyeka. Endaweni yoko, gxila ekufumaneni umsebenzi omtsha okanye utshintshele kwesinye isikhundla kwinkampani yakho. Sebenzela ukuwuyeka umsindo wakho; oko kuya kukukhulula ukuba uqhubeke.

5. Ngaba uzimisele ekuzimiseleni ngakumbi?

Abantu abomeleleyo bazinzile ekuzinikezeleni kwabo ekubuyiseleni umva. "Kufuneka kubekho ukuqonda ukuba awunakho ukomelela, uyakuyikhangela, kwaye ukuba unayo, uya kuphuhlisa ngakumbi," utshilo uGreene. Ngamanye amagama, abanye abantu bayomelela ngakumbi ngenxa yokuba bethathe isigqibo sokuba njalo, kwaye ngenxa yokuba bayaqonda ukuba nokuba injani na imeko, ngabo bodwa abanokuthatha isigqibo sokuba bahlangane ngqo nomngeni okanye bawele kuwo.

Isicwangciso sokusebenza Thetha nabahlobo abakulungeleyo ukuchacha ngokukhawuleza ebunzimeni ukuze ufumanise ukuba yintoni ebasebenzelayo, funda iincwadi ezimalunga nokusinda kobunzima kwaye ucinge kwangaphambili ngendlela onokuthi uphendule ngayo ngokungagungqiyo kwiimeko ezithile. Xa kuvela imicimbi yokulinga, yehlisa isantya kwaye uzibuze ukuba umntu opheleleyo angayiphendula njani. Ukuba ufuna uncedo lokuqinisa ukomelela kwakho, cinga ngokubona ingcali okanye unontlalontle.

Ngaphezu kwako konke, qiniseka ukuba unokutshintsha. "Ngamanye amaxesha kuvakala ngathi sisiphelo sehlabathi," utshilo uBlundo. "Kodwa ukuba unokuphuma ngaphandle kwemeko kwaye ubone ukuba akunjalo, ungasinda. Khumbula ukuba uhlala unokhetho."

Uphengululo lwe