Njani Ukuhlazisa Ngomzimba Omnye Umntu Ekugqibeleni Wandifundisa Ukuyeka UkuGweba Imizimba Yabasetyhini

Umxholo

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Nditsale ibhayisekile yam kuloliwe oxineneyo osendleleni eya eqongeni ndisiya kwilifti. Ngelixa bendikwazi ukuphatha ibhayisekile yam ngezinyuko ezintlanu, ilifti ilula-enye yezinto endizifundileyo xa ndandihamba ngebhayisekile yam. Nje ukuba ndifike kwinqanaba lesitrato, ndiza kunyathela indlela yam eya kwiklasi yeSpanish. (Mna nomyeni wam sasihlala eMadrid unyaka wonke ngelixa wayefundisa isiNgesi kwaye ndandisa isigama sam ngaphaya kwe "queso" kunye "nekhefi.")

Njengokuba ndisiya kwilifti, ndiphawula abafazi abathathu abalinde ilifti. Amehlo am ayabhabha emzimbeni wabo. Babonakala ngathi batyebe kakhulu kwaye bangekho sikweni kum. Mhlawumbi kufuneka bathathe izinyuko, Ndiyazicingela. Banokuxhamla kwi-cardio ethile. Ndimi apho, ndenza isindululo sokomelela kwaba bafazi entlokweni yam kwaye ndiphazamiseka, ndicinga ukuba kungafuneka ndilinde ikheshi yesibini kuba nje aba bafazi banqena ukuthatha izinyuko.

Kuphantse ukuba yindalo ukugweba umntu-ingakumbi umfazi-ngokusekwe kwindlela ebonakala ngayo imizimba yabo. Ngaphandle kolwazi malunga nomnye umntu, wenza isigqibo malunga nempilo yabo, ubuhle, kunye nexabiso labo eluntwini.

Kuba okoko nje ndikhumbula, umzimba omncinci uthathelwe ingqalelo ngcono umzimba. Ubumnandi bulungile, kwaye lonke olunye uhlobo lomzimba lufanelwe ukuphawulwa okanye ukugwetywa. (Nangona, ukuba ucinga ukuba ukhona umntu naye ubhityile, usenokuyigweba loo nto, nawe.) Kukho ithuba elihle lokuba ngokungazi usebenzise amagama afana no "mafutha" kunye no "bhityile" kunye "nokutyeba kakhulu" njengezazisi zabanye abantu. Ukulebhelisha umzimba womfazi kwangoko kuye kwaba yinto eqhelekileyo. Heck, usenokuzibiza ngokwakho: Ndi flat. Ndine curvy. Ndinempundu enkulu. Isinqa sam sivuleke kakhulu. Ngaphandle kwentsingiselo, uzinciphisa kunye nabanye kwiibhokisi ezithile zomzimba. Uzinciphisa kwindawo ethile yomzimba.Ubeka umda kwindlela ozijonga ngayo wena, oodade bakho, umama wakho, abahlobo bakho, nkqu nabafazi abangahleliyo kwisikhululo sikaloliwe. Uvumela ubume bomzimba bulawule indlela obona ngayo umntu.

Ilifti ifika kumgangatho wethu aze amanenekazi angene ngaphakathi. Xa ejika aphawula ukuba ndinebhayisekile. Abafazi ngethuku lemvelo bayazi ukuba ibhayisekile yam ayizukulingana nabantu abasele bekwikhabhathi, ngenxa yoko bakhawuleza baphuma bekwilift. Ngoncumo olufudumeleyo nangezandla zobubele, bandimema ukuba ndiqengqe ibhayisekile yam kuqala. I-engile isakhelo diagonally kwaye ndicinezele amatayara ukuba alingane. Nje ukuba ndingene, abafazi bayabuya umva. Wow, ibicingwa njalo ngabo, Ndiyacinga.

Njengoko sasikhwela imigangatho emithathu kunye, andizange ndikwazi ukuzibamba ndaziva ndineentloni ngendlela endandibagwebe ngayo kwaye ndibahlaze umzimba (nokuba kwakusentloko yam). Babenobubele nembeko kum. Bazipha ixesha lokundinceda ndilayishe ibhayisekile yam. Yayingamabhinqa amahle, yaye ndandingazi nto ngempilo yawo.

Sifikile kwinqanaba lesitalato, kwaye abafazi bayaphuma kwilifti-kodwa bengayekanga ukundibambela iingcango xa ndiqhuba ibhayisekile yam. Bandinqwenelela usuku oluhle kwaye basendleleni.

Ndandingayicinga njani into embi ngolu hlobo ngabafazi endingazange ndibabone? Kwakutheni ukuze ndibeke omnye umfazi phantsi ngendlela ajongeka ngayo engazi nto malunga nendlela yakhe yokuphila okanye ubuntu?

Ndikhubekile ngenxa yale mibuzo njengoko ndandihamba ngebhayisekile ndisiya kwikhampasi yesikolo solwimi. Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ndikhwela ibhayisekile yam xa ndisiya eklasini okanye ndinomgca ojongeka kancinci esinqeni, ndaziva ndingcono ngandlel’ ithile okanye ndisempilweni kunomnye umntu. Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba imizimba yabo yahlukile kweyam, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba abaphilanga.

Kodwa konke oko kwakungalunganga. Aba bafazi babengabahle nje ngobubele bawo, kodwa babebahle kakhulu kunam ngezo zihlandlo. Kungenxa yokuba ndingajongeka ndibhityile okanye ndibonakale ndisempilweni oko akuthethi ukuba ndinjalo am. Ngapha koko, ubunzima bomzimba ayisosalathiso esifanelekileyo sexesha lempilo.

Ewe, ndingaqhuba ibhayisekile ukuya eklasini, kodwa ndiyakonwabela isabelo sam esifanelekileyo seelekese kunye neentsuku zokonqena xa ndingazilolongi kwaphela. Naxa ndizama ukuba sempilweni, andifezekanga. Kwaye umzimba wam uqinisekile awufezekanga, nawo. Kukho amaxesha endiwujongela phantsi umzimba wam kwaye ndineentloni ngokujonga ngendlela endenza ngayo. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiyazihlaza umzimba ndingazi.

Kodwa loo mini kwilifti yandifundisa ukuba ndilwe nokugqitha kwezo zigwebo zokuqala. Kungakhathaliseki ubungakanani bakho okanye imilo okanye ukhetho lokufaneleka, ukugweba wena kunye nabanye abafazi akuyomfuneko kwaye akunasiqhamo. Ukulebhelisha iintlobo zomzimba kunye nokudideka kwesazisi somntu ngobume babo iba ngumqobo ekuboneni abantu ukuba bangoobani kanye kanye. Inkangeleko yomzimba wakho ayichazi impilo yakho. Ngapha koko, ayifanele ichaze konke konke. Ungubani wena ungubani ngenxa yento ngaphakathi umzimba wakho-yiloo nto kanye indlela wonke umntu uthetha ngemizimba yabasetyhini kufuneka ukutshintsha.

Oko ndadibana nala mabhinqa ngala mini, ndiyazi ngakumbi ngeengcinga zam xa ndibona umfazi onomzimba owahlukileyo kunowam. Ndizama ukukhumbula ukuba umzimba wabo awundixeleli nto ngabo. Ndiye ndizikhumbuze ukuba andazi nto ngendlela abaphila ngayo okanye impilo yabo okanye imizila yemfuza, nto leyo endenza ndiphawule ubuhle babo bokwenene. Ndizama nokucinga ngentliziyo yabo elungileyo kunye nazo zonke izipho abazizisayo kulo mhlaba. Xa ndicinga ngayo yonke le nto, andinaxesha lakukhathazeka ngemizimba yabo. Andinakuze ndiyilibale into eyandibonisa yona abo bafazi ngala mini. Ububele nothando ziya kuhlala zigqamile kumgwebo nehlazo-zombini xa ujonga abanye naxa uzijongile.

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