Yintoni Ubuxoki Bakho?

Umxholo

• "Andikwazi ukunciphisa umzimba"
• "Andisokuze Ndilufumane Uthando Lokwenene"
• "Ndimdala kakhulu kulonto"
• "Andisoze Ndiphume
• yeTyala"
• "Andikwazi Ukutshintsha Ukuba Ndingubani"
• Uphengululo lwe

Ukunyaniseka kunokuba ngumgaqo-nkqubo olungileyo, kodwa masijongane nayo, ibhulukhwe yomntu wonke iyavutha amaxesha ngamaxesha. Kwaye asiyikuphuthalela inyaniso kunye nabahlobo bethu, usapho kunye nabantu esisebenza nabo-siyazikhohlisa nathi.

"Yindlela yokuzikhusela ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni ukugqwetha indlela esibona ngayo izinto amaxesha ngamaxesha," utshilo uSimon Rego, Psy.D., umlawuli woqeqesho lwengqondo kwiZiko lezoNyango laseMontefiore. "Ezi ngcinga ezizenzekelayo zingazalisa iintloko zethu ngaphandle kokuba sizazi okanye zingachaneki."

Ayisiyonto intle kuba abaphandi be-Notre Dame bafumanise ukuba ezi fibha zinokuchaphazela impilo yakho. Kuphononongo lwabantu abadala be-110, abo baxelelwa ukuba bangaxoki abazange bathethe inyaniso rhoqo, baphinde bachaza ukuphuculwa kobudlelwane babo, ukulala okungcono, uxinzelelo oluncinci kunye nosizi, kunye neentloko ezimbalwa kunye nomqala obuhlungu.

Ukuphucula impilo yakho kunye nobomi bakho, zingqine ungalunganga malunga nobuxoki obuhlanu obuqhelekileyo kunye neengcebiso zethu zengcali.

"Andikwazi ukunciphisa umzimba"

Ukuba awunakubonakala ngathi uxhasa isikali kwindawo yakho, amathuba okuba ubunzima bakho luphawu lomcimbi onzulu. “Kunzima kakhulu ukuthetha phandle malunga nokuba yintoni emkhathazayo umntu, kodwa kulula ukufumana into etyiwayo,” utshilo ugqirha wengqondo osePortland uDidi Zahariades. “Unokuzixokisa uthi, ‘Ndilambile,’ ekubeni enyanisweni ufaka iimvakalelo zakho ngolwaneliseko olukhawulezileyo nomzuzwana wokulibala ngeengxaki zakho.”

Ngokunyanisekileyo vavanya ukuba ukulandele kakuhle kangakanani ukutya kwakho kunye nezicwangciso zempilo. Ngaba uye wanesisa ngeenxalenye mva nje? Ukutsiba ikampu yakho yasekuseni ngoLwesibini kuba "awuziva ngathi"? Ukuba kunjalo, uyazi ukuba loluphi utshintsho ekufuneka ulwenzile ukuqala ukubona ubunzima bakho bubuyela ezantsi. Undoqo apha ngumonde. "Akukho mntu ubeka iiponti ezingama-40 ngeentsuku ezingama-30, kodwa xa kuziwa ekuchitheni iiponti, silindele ukuba yenzeke ngokukhawuleza," utshilo uZahariades. Yamkela ukuba inokuba luhambo olude kodwa olufanele ixesha kunye nomzamo, kwaye ucinge ngokubona ugqirha ukukunceda ukujongana nazo naziphi na iingxaki ozama ukuzisombulula (okanye ungayihoyi) ngokutya.

"Andisokuze Ndilufumane Uthando Lokwenene"

Ngenxa yokuba, ngokutsho kweReuters, kukho iingqikelelo ezingama-54 ezi-singles e-US kwaye ezinye ezizigidi ezingama-40 bazamile ukufumana uthando kwi-Intanethi, kunokwenzeka ukuba baninzi abantu abaqhubela phambili obu buxoki. Ingxaki apha kukuba "uthando lokwenyani" kunzima ukuluchaza. "Abantu abaninzi bafanisa uthando lokwenene nokufumana iqabane eligqibeleleyo, kodwa umhlaba ugcwele ngabantu abangafezekanga," utshilo uCristalle Sese, uPsy.D, ugqirha wezengqondo eLos Angeles. Abanye banokukhetha kancinci kodwa bayathandabuza ukuzityhila bodwa ekuthandeni nasekuzivezeni kunye nezinto abacinga ukuba ziziphene zabo. “Abanye bakholelwa ukuba, ‘Ukuba ndiyazibonakalisa ndize ndilahlwe, oko kuya kuthetha ukuba andinto yanto,’ yaye bazixelela ukuba bamiselwe ukuba lilolo ukuze baphephe loo nto inokwenzeka,” utsho uSese. "Kodwa ukuzibiyela ngolu hlobo kubela ithuba lokuba ufumane ulonwabo lokwenene lokusondela kunye nokusondelelana."

Ke thatha ithuba uzibeke phaya, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba amaphupha akho awasekelwanga kwenye yezo ezingasoze zenzeke-kubomi bobomi be-rom-coms ezenza ukuba ucinge ukuba intshaba yanamhlanje iza kuza usuke ezinyaweni zakhe. "Ukuba unolindelo olusengqiqweni, ungangayifumani into ocinga ukuba luthando lwenene, kodwa ungafumana uthando oluhle kakhulu, utshilo uSese. Ukuba umfana uyakuhlonela kwaye uyakuxabisa kwaye usebenza nzima ukunxibelelana nawe, ngaba kunzima ukwamkela ijean yakhe ebhityileyo kunye nenyaniso yokuba ekunika i-carnations endaweni yeerozi?

"Ndimdala kakhulu kulonto"

Ukusebenzisa iminyaka yakho njengesingxengxezo kudla ngokwenzeka xa umntu ediniwe kukusebenzela usukelo, utsho uCathy Holloway Hill, umbhali wencwadi ethi. Ubuxoki, Uthando kunye noBomi. Kodwa mininzi imizekelo ebubungqina obu buxoki, kubandakanya uGolda Mier, owaba yinkulumbuso yokuqala yabasetyhini kwa-Israyeli eneminyaka engama-70 nje kuphela. Okanye mhlawumbi uvile UBetty White?

Xa ufumanisa ukuba uvumela umhla wakho wokuzalwa ungene endleleni, ziphikise ngokuthi, "Ndingu hayi indala kakhulu kwaye ukuba ndiyayifuna, ndingayifumana, "utsho uLisa Bahar, ugqirha womtshato kunye nosapho eNewport Beach naseDana Point, CA. "Kuvakala kulula, kodwa yinto ehlekisayo-kwaye into elula kakhulu inokuguqula iingcamango zibe okoko nje siyiphindayo kuthi ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Ekugqibeleni siqala ukuyikholelwa. "

Ukuziqinisekisa ngakumbi ukuba iminyaka ayikhathali, zingqonge nabantu abanento oyifunayo kwaye ubabuze ukuba bafike njani apho, utshilo uBahar. Kwaye khumbula iklasikhi "awuyeki ukufunda." "Ukukhula komntu kunye nobungcali kubandakanya imfundo yobomi bonke. Siyaqhubeka nokukhula njengoko sikhula, kwaye iinjongo zobomi kunye nokufezekisa akunamda wobudala," utshilo uHolloway Hill.

"Andisoze Ndiphume

yeTyala"

Njengoko iibhilikhwe ziqokelelana kwaye abaqokeleli beza benkqonkqoza, imini ongasayi kuphila ngayo intlawulo yokuhlawula ingabonakala ngathi ayinakuze ifike. "Kulula ukutshiswa ngamava akho emva koko uzive ngathi ubanjiswe ngonaphakade," utshilo uZahariades. Kwaye xa sele uziva uphukile, ukuvuthela enye i-$ 20 okanye i-$ 50 apha kwaye isenokungabonakali njengento enkulu.

Kuvakala ngathi kukuzala, kodwa eyona ndlela yokunyuka kubomvu kukwenza uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali ukuze uphile ngokwamandla akho. Hlasela amakhadi okuthenga ngetyala kunye neemali-mboleko kuqala, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuhlawula kancinci kancinci, utshilo uSese. Ucebisa iMint.com ukuba ilandelele inkcitho yakho okanye ibone i-accountant yoluntu eqinisekisiweyo okanye umcebisi wezezimali ukukunceda wenze isicwangciso.

"Andikwazi Ukutshintsha Ukuba Ndingubani"

Ngelixa ukudibana okutsha kunokubangela ukuba abanye babe neengqondo eziphangaleleyo, kunokukhokelela abanye ukuba babe neenkani kwaye bazimisele kwiindlela zabo. Imiqobo yobomi, ukusuka ekuphelelweni ngumsebenzi ukuya kuqhawulo mtshato nakwimicimbi yezempilo, kunokusenza simelane notshintsho, utshilo uHolloway Hill. "Akukho mntu ufuna ukufumana ezi ntlobo zentlungu, ke siqala ukuzama ukulawula iimeko zethu ngokuhlala emsebenzini okanye kubudlelwane obungafezekisi okanye ukungahoyi umba wezempilo ngenxa yokoyika ukufumana iindaba ezimbi." Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha siyaziqinisekisa ukuba asinakho ukubutshintsha ubomi bethu, iziqu zethu, okanye iimeko, uyongeza, ke sihlala phantsi kwaye samkela izinto njengoko zinjalo.

Ngelixa usenokungakwazi ukuphinda ubhale ixesha elidlulileyo, ungathatha amanyathelo amancinci ukuya ekubeni ngumntu owahlukileyo okanye ongcono kwixesha elizayo. "Misela iinjongo ezincinci, ezicacileyo ezinokufikeleleka," utshilo uPaul Hokemeyer, uJ., Ph.D. Ukwaphula amabhongo akho amakhulu kwiinkqubo zenyathelo ngenyathelo kukhokelela ekufezekiseni okuncinci okuya kukukhuthaza ukuba uqhubeke uzama-kwaye udibanise ukuphumelela okukhulu, utshilo.

Uphengululo lwe