Izifundo ezi-5 ezifundwe kwi-JLaw ngokuthandana namadoda amadala

Umxholo

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Zathi zakuvakala iindaba laa ophumelele uOscar UJennifer Lawrence Wayeyibize ngokuba iyayeka ngo-Coldplay frontman UChris Martin, asinakuthi sothuke ngokupheleleyo. I Mdlalo yokulamba inkwenkwezi, i-24, wayethandana nemvumi eneminyaka engama-37 ukusukela ngoJuni, kungekudala emva kokuba "engaziqhoboshi eyaziwayo" ukusuka UGwyneth Paltrow, Owayengumfazi wakhe weminyaka eli-10, ngasekupheleni kuka-Matshi.

Omnye wangaphakathi uxelele US Weveki Isizathu sokuqhekeka ngenxa yeeshedyuli zomsebenzi "ezingenangqondo", ezenza ubudlelwane babo "baba ngamatye." Kwaye ngelixa sisamkela ukuba esi sibini sasibonakala sinqabile kwasekuqaleni, besinethemba elikhulu lomlingisi othandekayo kunye nentombi yakhe entsha.

Kodwa ngoku ukuba isibini i-kaput, kufuneka sibuze ubulumko bukaLawrence bokukhetha kuphela iqabane elineminyaka eyi-13 ubudala, kodwa kunye nendoda esanda kuphuma kumtshato wexesha elide (kunye nabantwana). Sithethile neengcali ezimbini zobudlelwane kwinto sonke ekufuneka siyikhumbule ukuba uthandana nabantu abadala, kunye / okanye usandula ukuqhawula umtshato, amadoda.

1. Qaphela ukuba angangabinayo yonke into kunye. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oko kukuhenda ukucinga ukuba ukuthandana indoda endala kuthetha ukukhula ngakumbi kunye nozinzo ngokungagqibekanga, kodwa kusenokufuneka ukuseta kwakhona ulindelo lwakho-ubudala nje inani, emva koko. “Musa ukucinga ukuba uqolile okanye unazo zonke iimpendulo kuba emdala,” utsho uApril Beyer, ingcaphephe yokuthandana nabantu abathandanayo.

2. Yiba nobakho ubomi. "Ndibonile abantu basetyhini abaninzi abangena kumnqweno wokukhathalelwa, kodwa balibazisa indlela yabo eya kubazisela ukuzithemba kunye nozinzo," utshilo uBeyer. Qinisekisa ukuba ukwindawo eqinileyo uwedwa, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwezemali, ukuze ukwazi ukuzimela ngeenyawo zakho ukuba ubambiswano luyaphela.

3. I-Rebounds yinto yokwenyani. UKelly Campbell, Ph.D., unjingalwazi onxulumene nesayikholoji kwiYunivesithi yaseCalifornia State, eSan Bernadino uyachaza: Ukuba bahamba ngokukhawuleza okukhulu, banokungabikho ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane elilandelayo. Olunye uphawu lwesilumkiso: ukwala ukuthetha malunga nomntu wakhe wangaphambili-okanye ukufumana iimvakalelo malunga nayo-inokuba yiflegi ebomvu angakhange ayenze inkqubo yomanyano. Into ofuna ukuyijonga ayithathi cala, kwaye ayithandi xa ethetha ngayo, ebonisa ukuba useluxolweni.

4. Abantwana bakhe beza naye. "Kufuneka uqaphele ukuba abantwana bakhe-kunye nabangaphambili baya kuba yinxalenye yobomi bakho ukuba ugqibela naye," utshilo uCampbell. Kwaye ukuba usekwiminyaka yama-20, kuya kufuneka uthathele ingqalelo ukuba kuthetha ntoni oku ukuba ngumzali womzali. Kuba loo minyaka ichithwe bhetele ukufumanisa ukuba ungubani njengomntu omdala, ukuzisa abantwana kumxube ngaphambi kokuba ulungele ukupela ingxaki.

5. Ukhangela i-fling? Ziphose kuyo. Umntu ongatshatanga kutshanje unokunika ulonwabo olukhulu ixesha elincinci, utshilo uCampbell. Kwaye, ukuba usandula "ukungazidibanisi" ngokwakho (njengoLawrence, osandula ukwahlukana nesoka lakhe leminyaka emithathu), wena nendoda yakho entsha ninokuba nokuqonda ngokufanayo malunga neemvakalelo eninazo nobabini, uyongeza. Amaqabane anezinto ezininzi ezifanayo adla ngokonwaba ngakumbi, ngoko ke oku kuya kuba yinkalo enye yokufana.

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