Ubudala, ubuhlanga, kunye nesini: Zitshintsha njani ezi ndaba zethu zokungachumi

Umxholo

• Kukho iindleko zemali kunye neemvakalelo
• Ukungachumi kubukeka ngoluhlobo, nako

Ubudala bam kunye neempembelelo zezezimali kunye neemvakalelo zoBumnyama kunye nokudlula kweqabane lam kuthetha ukuba ukhetho lwethu luqhubeka nokuhla.

Umzekeliso ngu-Alyssa Kiefer

Ubomi bam bonke, bendikukujonga ukuzalwa komntwana njengesiko lokuba ngusolusapho. Nangona kunjalo, olo hambo lathatha indlela engalindelekanga okoko ndadibana nendoda enye endiya kufuna ukukhulisa abantwana nayo, xa ndicinga ngendlela ingqibelelo nemfesane yakhe enokuluxhasa ngayo uhlobo lobuzali endinqwenela ukulwenza.

Ngelishwa, akukafaneli ndifunde inqaku malunga nokungachumi okucacisa ukuba unzima kangakanani lo mnqweno wokuba nomntwana xa iqabane lakhe limnyama, kwaye lihamba, ngenxa yamava ahlala ebuhlungu okusinda kolu hlaselo luchasene nabantu abaMnyama, olwe-transphobic nolunabantu . Ngelixa ndingazukuthengisa ngomzuzwana nalo mntu nangasiphi na isizathu, ukufumana le nyani kuye kuye kwakhanyisa.

Ngokukodwa njengowasetyhini omdaka, ndifumene ingxelo engacelwanga kumashumi eminyaka yokuba ndiyakhula kwaye kufuneka ndicinge nzulu ngokuqala kosapho. Njengesiqingatha sabantu abatshatileyo abaza kuzama ukuphatha into eza kuthi ngoku ithathwe njengokukhulelwa kokubeleka ukuya kwixesha, ukungachumi kuyanda njengengxaki yosuku ngalunye oludlulayo kum.

Ngomnye umhla wethu wokuqala, xa kwakusavakala ngathi akukho nto ingenakufikeleleka kuthando lwethu olutsha lombethe, ndiyalukhumbula uvuyo lwam ngenxa yomdla wethu kunye nokuqonda ukukhulisa abantwana. Ecaleni koku kwakumangalisiwe kukuba le ngxoxo yayisele isemlonyeni wethu, njengoko ndandizilumkisa ngokuchasene nokufumana ithemba lam ngathi.

Kukho iindleko zemali kunye neemvakalelo

Ngokuchasene kakhulu nexesha langoku, ngoku ndilawula ityala elingaphezulu kwenani elipheleleyo lemali mboleko yomfundi endiyibuyisileyo, ngenxa yokuxhasa ngemali iqabane lam elalijongelwe phantsi. Oku kukodwa kwenza ikamva elibandakanya ukukhulelwa ndizive ngathi akunakwenzeka kum.

Njengomfazi ocalulwa ngokobuhlanga, ndiyabazi ubunyani bokungazithembi emsebenzini. Amava am kunye nobungcali zihlala zicinywa kukungaboni kakuhle ngam kumhlophe, ukungonwabi kwabo kuhlala kunamandla okundibona ndingaphantsi kokulunga kwamathuba abo obuchwephesha. Amaxhala am malunga nozinzo lwezezimali andisiwe ekuhambeni kwexesha, njengoko ndaye ndayiqonda imiqobo eyongezelelekileyo ebangelwe kukuba mnyama kunye notshintsho kuluntu.

Ngaphambi kokudibana neqabane lam, ndineentloni zokuba khange ndicinge nzulu malunga neendleko ezihlala zinxulunyaniswa namava otshintsho.

Iindleko zezinto ezinje ngezixhobo zokufakelwa, uqeqesho lomntu kwidysphoria, i-CBD yokulawula iintlungu kunye nokulala, utyando oluqinisekisa isini, utshintsho kwezomthetho ekuchongeni ubuqu, kunye nonyango olunenkcubeko luphezulu, kodwa zibalulekile kwimpilo yomzimba nengqondo.

Ngelishwa, enkosi kukufikelela kude koxinzelelo lwenkqubo, ngaphandle kwemizamo yakhe emihle, iqabane lam liye labanzima ekufumaneni nasekugcineni ingqesho ezinzileyo emzimbeni ahlala kuwo ngaphandle kwempazamo eyeyakhe.

Ukuba umhlaba ebesikholelwa ukuba ubukho, xa sikhula njengabantwana abahlanga lwabazali abasuka kwamanye amazwe abasinyanzela ukuba sisebenze nzima ukufikelela impumelelo yobungcali kunye nokuzinza kwezezimali, oku ngekhe kubeyinyani.

Endaweni yoko, ndisebenza imisebenzi emininzi enganyanzelisiyo ukuba asebenze ngokomzimba, ngelixa yena ehamba ngenqanawa yomsebenzi obandakanya umsebenzi wezandla rhoqo.

Ngale ndlela, njengeqabane elinelungelo elingaphezulu, ndiziva ndinoxanduva lokuziphatha kakuhle ukuthwala ubunzima beendleko angakwaziyo ukuzilawula, ngenxa yokuba le meko imbi kangaka kutheni le nto ityala lam elingcono lide lindinike ilungelo lokufumana ityala elikhulu kangaka.

Ngelishwa, alikaze lixesha elifanelekileyo lokuphonononga umxholo wento endivakalelwa njengesiqhushumbisi sexesha lam lenkqubo yokuzala.

Ngekhe kulunge xa ​​iqabane lam eline-dysphoric labhenela ekuqokeleleni amawaka eedola kwityala lekhadi letyala kwisigqibo esisindisa ubomi sokwenza uqhaqho oluphezulu ngaphambili, njengesiphumo esithe ngqo sokhathalelo olungonelanga.

Kwaye ayisiva ngathi lixesha ngoku, njengoko esebenzela ukubuyela esikolweni ukuze abonelele ngenkxaso yezempilo yengqondo efunekayo kuluntu olwabelana ngamava akhe.

Ngokuqinisekileyo ngekhe ibe kufanelekile ngaphambili xa ekugqibeleni wakwazi ukutsiba iihupu ezaneleyo ukuze kwenziwe i-hysterectomy yakhe ekugqibeleni.

Ixesha lalingalunganga kwangaphambi koko xa wayexinezeleke kakhulu ukuba asebenze kumvuzo ohlawulelweyo kwaye edandatheke kakhulu kukuchukumiseka okungalindelekanga komzimba okubangela impendulo yomothuko.

Ukungachumi kubukeka ngoluhlobo, nako

Ibali lam isenokungabi yinto ethi qatha engqondweni xa abantu becinga ngokungachumi, kodwa iOxford Dictionary iyichaza ngokuthi, "kukungakwazi ukukhawula abantwana okanye abancinci." Ngale ndlela, ukungachumi kuyasebenza kwingxelo yethu, xa iindleko zokuhlola ukukhulelwa zingavumelekanga ngenxa yezithintelo ezizodwa ezibangelwa ngumfazi omdaka osele ekhulile kunye neqabane lakhe elimnyama, elidlulayo.

Nangona kunjalo xa ndibuzwa ukuba kutheni singakaqali usapho, kuya kufuneka ndilume ulwimi lwam. Ingcaciso esengqiqweni enje ngale ndiyibonisileyo apha ifuna ukuba ndikhuphe iqabane lam lokudlulisa, endaweni yoko ndenza konke okusemandleni ukutshintsha umxholo kuye nasiphi na isihloko esikhuselekileyo sengxoxo.

Endaweni yoko, ndiyathemba ukuba iincoko zinokungasebenzi ekubuzeni ubuntu beqabane lam ngezimvo ezingacelwanga, ezingenalwazi. Endaweni yoko, nditshona kwigobolondo lokuzithoba lomntu elilindelweyo kwabasetyhini abamdaka, abancumayo kwaye banqwale ngokuzolileyo, ngokungathi banombulelo ngesikhumbuzo esifunekayo sokuhla kwam ukukhulelwa ngelixa ngaphakathi ndilawula ubunyani bokuphila kwethu kwemihla ngemihla yengcinezelo.

Elona candelo lilibi kuko konke oku ibikukukhula kokuqonda ukuba ndingoyena mntu uguqukileyo endakha ndaqonda ukuba ndingumntu onikwe indlela ebaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka ndicinge ngayo ngezinto ezinje ngesini kunye nobuhlanga kwimeko yobudlelwane bam.Ukufumana ezi zilingo kunye neembandezelo kunye neqabane lam kukonyuse uvelwano lwam kubantu.

Ndiyayiqonda into yokuba abanye banokujamelana nemiceli mngeni, apho ndingasilela nakuphi na ukuqonda okude. Oku kubonakalisa kakuhle ukuba ngumzali ngobumnene kwihlabathi elinokwenzakalisa ngokungaphaya abanye kunabanye.

Kolu hlaselo lwekamva, ekugqibeleni ndikulungele ukuba lolona hlobo lincinci lokugweba njengomzali, ukanti iingxaki zam zokwenza oko ngokwebhayoloji zilawula ukwehla yonke imihla edlulayo ngokubambisana nothando lobomi bam.

Ngesi sizathu, ndiyathemba ukuba abafundi bahlala belikhumbula ibali lam kwaye libanika ikhefu. Ngokufanelekileyo, iyabakhumbuza ukuba bayeke ukubuza imibuzo enzulu yabanye, ngokuqonda ukuba ukungafihlisi kunokubeka emngciphekweni njani izinto ezikhoyo ezithandekayo zabathandekayo ababekade bejongelwe phantsi.

U-Priya Nandoo ligama lokubhala lomnikeli onqwenela ukuhlala engaziwa.