Co-Parenting: Ukufunda ukuSebenza kunye, nokuba nindawonye okanye hayi

Umxholo

• Fumana ishedyuli esebenzayo (kuni nonke)
• Vumela iilttles zikwazi ukuba uliqela
• Jonga rhoqo
• Yabelana ngomthwalo

Ah, ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana. Eli gama liza nengcinga yokuba ukuba ungomnye wabazali, uyahlukana okanye uqhawule umtshato. Kodwa oko akuyonyani!

Nokuba utshatile wonwabile, ungatshatanga, okanye kwenye indawo phakathi, ukuba ungumzali nomnye umntu, ungomnye wabazali- ixesha.

Unesiqingatha somsebenzi wokuba ngumzali kule minyaka ili-18 + izayo. Kwaye nangona imeko yakho ijongeka (okanye inokwenzeka kwixesha elizayo), ngama-50 epesenti kuwe ukuyenza isebenzele ukulungelwa kwabantwana bakho.

Akukho xinzelelo okanye nantoni na.

Mhlawumbi ukuqhuba isiqingatha somboniso kuza lula kuwe, okanye mhlawumbi uyinqaba yolawulo okholelwa ukuba yindlela yakho okanye uhola wendlela. Andizelanga kugweba.

Nokuba yeyiphi na isitayile sakho, ukubambisana njengomzali sisakhono esisetwe sodwa-esinye awunakukukhulisa ngokwenyani de ube unabakho abancinci.

Ngokuqinisekileyo zikhona iindlela zokulungiselela ukuba ngumzali, njengokukhula kwindawo yokugcina abantwana okanye ukukhathalela abantakwenu abancinci. Unokufumana incasa encinci yolindelekileyo.

Kodwa ubambiswano lwabazali? Ufanele ukuba kulo nomnye umntu yonke. ongatshatanga. usuku. ukuqonda.

Kwaye xa ukuyo, iba yikristale icace gca ukuba kufuneka ufumane iindlela zokwenza ukuba isebenze.

Abantwana bakho bazalwe ngabantu ababini abanokuthi okanye bangabinazo iimbono ezifanayo ngendlela yokukhulisa umntwana ekufuneka eyihambile. Unamava ahlukeneyo, imibono, kunye nolindelo ngendlela ofuna izinto zibukeke ngayo. Izinto ziba nzima nangakumbi xa kungekho kuphela iifilosofi zobuzali ezahlukileyo, kodwa amakhaya ahlukeneyo emfanekisweni.

Elo lelona lizwe lihlala kunye nokuba ngumzali kwaye ndihlala kulo. Kwaye nangona kunokuba ngumceli mngeni, ukutsho nje, umyeni wam wangaphambili kwaye ndihlala ndivumelana kweyona nto ibalulekileyo- ukubeka amakhwenkwe ethu amabini phambili.

Kwaye njengoko singena kunyaka wethu wesithathu wokuqhatha ukubona yonke le nto kunye, ndiye ndenza-ezo ngcebiso zokwabelana nokuba ungazibophelela njani kubazali bakho.

Nantsi ithemba lokuba baya kukunceda uhambo lwakho lube lokonwaba, olusempilweni, kunye nolungelelwano ngakumbi.

Fumana ishedyuli esebenzayo (kuni nonke)

Nokuba nihlala kunye iipesenti ezili-100 zexesha okanye akunjalo konke konke, ubuzali bobuqabane buqala kwaye buxhomekeke kwishedyuli egudileyo.

Ewe unayo iishedyuli zemihla ngemihla kunye neenkqubo ngaphambi kokuba usana luze, ke cinga malunga nendlela ezibonakala ngayo, kwaye zeziphi iindawo ozithandayo. Sebenzisa loo Intel ukwenza ishedyuli yobuzali ehambelana nobomi bakho obukhoyo, ugcine imikhwa kunye nezinto ozikhethayo engqondweni.

Ukuba iyakusebenzela, kunokwenzeka ukuba inamathele.

Ishedyuli yakho ekwabelwana ngayo inokuthi itshintshe ukusuka kwixesha lonyaka ukuya kunyaka kunye nonyaka, kodwa ukumisela kunye nokuseka kwakhona okusebenza macala onke kunyanzelekile.

Mhlawumbi omnye wenu kulindeleke ukuba asebenze kwangoko emsebenzini, kwaye omnye unoxanduva lokutya kwasekuseni kunye nokunakekelwa kwelanga. Mhlawumbi umntu unokuguquguquka ngakumbi kwaye unokulawula abo baqeshwe ngugqirha emini emaqanda. Izikhova zasebusuku zinokufuna ukuthatha ukutya kokondla ebusuku, njalo njalo.

Ukungaguquguquki kubalulekile ekukhuleni kwabantwana kunye noxolo lwengqondo lwabazali bobabini.

Vumela iilttles zikwazi ukuba uliqela

Ukuzibonakalisa njengembutho emanyeneyo yeyona nto iphambili kwihlabathi lokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana.

Bonisa abantwana bakho ukuba niyathetha, nixoxe, kwaye nivume ngokufuthi kangangoko kwaye izigqibo zinikezelwa kuni nobabini. Babonise ukuba uliqela.

Baza kukuqonda ukuba abanakutyibilika ngento edlulileyo komnye umzali ngaphandle komnye bazi- okanye nokuba mandundu - bazame ukukuphikisa omnye komnye.

Ngaphandle kokuthetha ukuba kuya kubakho amanqaku kunye nokungavisisani apha endleleni, njengabo nabuphi na ubudlelwane. Kodwa zisebenzele emfihlekweni, ngaphandle kwendlebe, kwaye ungabandakanyi abantwana bakho nakweyiphi na iminyaka.

Okukhona beza kubona kwaye bakuhloniphe unemqolo omnye nomnye, indlela egudileyo yokuba ngumzali kubo bonke.

Jonga rhoqo

Nokuba uphantsi kophahla olunye, kubalulekile ukubamba umzali wakho wokuqala kunye kwaye rhoqo. Ukusuka kumanqanaba asandul 'ukuzalwa ukuya phambili, iintsuku zigcwele kwaye ziya zixakeka, ukutsho nje okuncinci.

Izinto zitshintsha rhoqo, ukusuka kwiimoods ukuya kumanqanaba, ukhetho, amanyathelo, nayo yonke into ephakathi. Ke xa ndisithi fumana phezulu, oko kubandakanya… kakuhle… malunga nayo nayiphi na into onokucinga ngayo.

Ngaba umntwana sele etshicile ngaphezulu kwesiqhelo? Ngaba umntwana wakho omncinci ube nexhala ngakumbi xa eyeka? Unjani u-co-parent wakho uziva, kwaye ngaba kukho ukungonwabi okanye ukuqaphela owabelana ngako?

Khumbula ukuba ufumana kuphela isiqingatha soku. Ziveze, kwaye ukulungele ukuphulaphula, nawe. Uza kwazi ngcono ukuba ukungeniswa kwangaphambi kwexesha okanye i-impromptu touch bases isebenza kakuhle. Heck, nokuba isicatshulwa esikhawulezayo sinokwenza ubuqili kwipinki.

Nokuba ukhangeleka njani ukungena kwakho, qiniseka ukuba kuyenzeka - ngenxa yomntu wonke.

Yabelana ngomthwalo

Ewe kunokuba ngumceli mngeni wokuba ngumzali osebenza kunye, kodwa ikwayintsikelelo enkulu ukuba nomyili wabantwana bakho ufuna ukuthatha inxaxheba ebonakalayo nenentsingiselo ebomini babo.

Akukho mntu unokuqonda ukuba kunjani ukuba ngumzali wabantwana bakho ngaphandle komzali wakho. Nokuba kwezona ntsuku zinzima, nezona ziphazamisayo, gcina oko engqondweni!

Ukuba nomzali ozinikeleyo kunye naye lithuba lokwabelana nohambo-kunye noxanduva.

Kukho ukutyunjwa koogqirha kunye namazinyo. Iinkcukacha ezongezelelweyo. Ukuhlamba iimpahla. Ukutya. Amayeza. Amatheko emihla yokuzalwa. Ukhathalelo lwemini. Isikolo samabanga aphakamileyo. Isikolo esiqhelekileyo. Iintsuku zokugula.

Uluhlu lwezibophelelo alupheli, kwaye ngelixa sonwabile ukuzenza, akukho mathandabuzo okuba uncedo yinto entle. Yoyama omnye nomnye ukuze uyenze yonke kwaye kuya kuba lula kakhulu kuni nobabini.

UKate Brierley ngumbhali ophezulu, i-freelancer, kunye nomama ongumfana ongumama kaHenry no-Ollie. Umsindisi we-Rhode Island Press Association Award Award, ufumene isidanga se-bachelor kwi-journalism nakwi-master's kwithala leencwadi nakwizifundo zolwazi kwiDyunivesithi yaseRhode Island. Ungumthandi wokuhlangula izilwanyana zasekhaya, iintsuku zosapho lolwandle, kunye namanqaku abhalwe ngesandla.